CHILDREN OF THE CORN III:
URBAN HARVEST
OBEEYYYY!!! OR I'LL NAIL YOU TO THAT CROSS!!!
If I ever adopt a kid, I'll know I've adopted the wrong one when he concludes his saying of grace with "and may the infidel and unbeliever burn forever in eternal hellfire!" Actually, if my adopted kids feel the need to say grace at all, I'm sending 'em back. No kid's comin' between me and my dinner.
That's the villainous younger brother Eli. I used to date this girl who was a real tomboy around age ten or so; I saw pictures, and in them, she looks just like this kid. So that added an extra-enjoyable boo-hiss factor. The other newly adopted kid is Joshua, who's a little older and fits in a lot better in his new Chicago home. Soon enough, though, Joshua doesn't have anybody left to fit in with because Eli's gone and gotten everybody at school to join his cult.
I've heard quite a bit of praise for this one, even when the first two films of this (apparently five-part, so far) series are almost universally hated. In fact, let's face it, the best thing to arise from King's short story is Testament's mighty thrash classic "Disciples of the Watch". Part 3 doesn't quite blow the Testament song out of the water, but it's fairly enjoyable in its own right.
In its favor are numerous deaths that walk that fine line between hilarious and disturbing (like the introductory scene, where somebody a) has his arms half torn off, b) is crucified, c) has his eyes sewn shut, and d) well, we don't quite see what happens to him after that, but we know it's bad. Sucks to be him!). The fx are pretty nifty, too. When one guy's head is pulled off, spine and all, it'll be all you can do to not say "Fatality!" The ending in particular is way over the top with creature effects and grue. (Man, if I ever get swallowed whole by a giant monster, I hope somebody cares enough about me to hack it open and drag my sorry bile-covered carcass out of there)
This one tries to mix both standard CotC stuff with catholi-horror, and it's only partially successful. A case of reach exceeding grasp, I guess. CotC3 works best as a fun romp, and that's what it tries to be most of the time. It might not be saying much that it's the best of the series I've seen (haven't seen 4 or 5), but it's got more blood than the Testament song.