CHOPPER CHICKS IN ZOMBIETOWN
So, who here likes pie?

Mmm-mm, I just baked me up a nice blueberry pie from scratch.  It's tastin' gooooood.  Anybody want a slice?  You would?  Tough shit, you're too far away.

Caught this movie on the, uh, racing channel, or something, whatever channel 48 is around here.  Bruce Dern was giving nostalgic rants about the drive-in during commercial breaks.  That was fun; what wasn't was the fact that this movie was obviously cut to shit for TV, and that's no way to watch a movie.  Nevertheless, Chopper Chicks In Zombietown is surprisingly enjoyable for a Troma film, even when it is cut to shit.

The title says it all.  An all-girl biker gang (who look like Motley Crue circa Shout At The Devil) called the Cycle Sluts (no apparent relation to long-defunct rock foursome Cycle Sluts From Hell) converge on the small town of Zaraiah, just before a whole bunch of zombies do.  They do battle, while the township isn't sure who to cheer for.

I'm hoping that in the regular video cut, there was a lot more graphic violence, sex, and foul language, but as it was, it seemed pretty apparent (thanks to choppy editing) that there must've been, so I'll give this movie the benefit of the doubt in that regard.

CCIZT is a lot more fun than I'd expected, considering my experiences with Troma where every film of theirs I see is more pathetic than the one before.  Really, we've got slutty biker chicks, zombies, even a busload of blind orphans ("We're blind, no parents, and now THIS?").  How could this be screwed up in even the most incompetent of hands?

At its best, it's a second-rate Return Of The Living Dead, with lots of zombie heads being knocked off with baseball bats, and one guy telling his zombified father "Maybe if you don't eat anybody, no one will notice."  Hey, for my money, Return Of The Living Dead ripoffs don't get unenjoyable until they're at least fourth-rate (like Return Of The Living Dead II).  Hey, if nothing else, this movie provided us with a great sexist epithet for men ("spermchucker"), and taught me that "coitus" is pronounces ko-IT-us, when I've been saying COY-tus all these years.  Okay, I've been saying "fucking".

On the downside, the scenes with the zombies had this stupid score with a slide whistle and canned laughter, as if we need to be told that this is silly.  I can't believe that this movie was sponsored by Porsche; I hate to trot out the stereotypes but honestly, how many people in the market for a Porsche would be watching Chopper Chicks In Zombietown?

Recommended to those in search of fun schlock.  And watch for Billy Bob Thornton (!) as the husband of one of the Sluts.

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