FRIDAY THE 13th PART VIII:
JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
Great title.  The movie sucks, but what a great title.

One of the most cruelly misleading horror movie titles since The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this one almost entirely takes place on a cruise ship (would've fit in well with the glut of cruise-ship thrillers in the past few years). Only the last fifteen minutes or so take place in NY. Those fifteen minutes are pretty fun, but the rest of the movie isn't much. 

Lounging in his watery "grave" at the bottom of Crystal Lake (a town that, by now, should have a population of about -642), Jason is awakened by an underwater power line dragged to him by the anchor of a houseboat. Scratch two houseboaters. The guy on the boat, BTW, brought along a hockey mask to scare his date with. (very convenient, considering that Jason's trusty mask snapped in half at the end of Part VII) Taking advantage of all his sailing knowledge (maybe he joined the Navy during one of that five-or-so-year gap between Parts 4 and VI), Jason pilots that boat, somehow, all the way out to sea. (must be big rivers running from Crystal Lake) There he meets up with the Lazarus (groan), a cruise ship that's about to host a group of high school students for a semester. So the Lazarus sets sail, and teens die. 

I seem to remember there being lots of foxy chicks in this movie, but the only one that comes to mind is the guitar-playing metal chick. (unsurprisingly, beaten to death with her own guitar) Oh yeah, and the girl in the lead role, Jensen Daggett, who went on to a supporting role in the sitcom "The Single Guy". She's given a pen in the opening scene, which, legend has it, was once used by Stephen King. As much as I love King, wouldn't it have been a nicer touch to say it was once used by Lovecraft or something? Anyway, that pen is indeed the Inconspiculator, although it doesn't kill anybody. 

Goofiest death: when this boxer guy tries boxing Jason to death (despite the fact that his punches are probably going to be a lot less effective through a hockey mask), and when he's exhausted, tells Jason to take his best shot. Anyway, that guy's head goes flyin', baby! All the way into a dumpster after a few bounces, if memory serves. 

There's not really much here - very little gore, despite a body count that I hear is actually the highest in the series. Despite the new setting, the only thing that's really new in this movie is a number of nice, surreal touches by director Rob Hedden, who went on to do (try not to laugh) Knight Rider 2000. Best of all is an extremely cool little segue into a flashback to Crystal Lake. That's probably the most artistically well-done thing in the entire series, actually. Takes all of about five seconds. So it's not quite enough to raise this movie out of the shit pile. And when Jason actually shows his ugly mug, he looks like Skeletor.

  The New York scenes were actually filmed in Hell - I mean, Vancouver. Not like you couldn't tell or anything. 

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