JASON GOES TO HELL:
THE FINAL FRIDAY
Yeah, right.  And if my rabbit had fins, he'd be a fish.

And we don't believe it this time either, Jason vs. Freddy plans flopping around like a fish out of its bowl. Still, this marks the only Friday movie made, to date, that genuinely tries something different. Note that I said "different", not "new", because it's already been done, and better - in Jack Sholder's ass-kicking 1987 flick The Hidden. Here, Jason is presented not really as a man in a mask, but a slug that oozes its way into people's mouths, possesses them, and makes them more or less unstoppable as long as it's in there. (I guess this is supposed to explain the murderous rampages of non-Jasons in Parts 1 and V)

  This is a movie for people who like to see people get shot about a hundred times and still not go down. (what can I say - I like that too) The movie opens great, with a SWAT team blowing Jason to smithereens, surprisingly. (just how he recovered from the strange effect that the end of Part VIII had on him is not suggested) (or how he got back to Crystal Lake) (what counts is that a hot chick got naked to do it) 

The amusing opening-title sequence has the coroner going over the body - and it's funny, but not in the way that most coroner scenes tend to be (bad one-liners). Then the coroner eats the heart - yummy! - and goes all Jason-y, looking for some relative of his so he can - hell, I don't know. Lessee if I can remember the relative - Erin Gray plays Jason's cousin, I believe, and since the movie makes a point of saying that she is a Voorhees (along with her spawn), I guess it's on the father's side. She's got a daughter with a newborn baby - and that daughter is HOT! She's played by Kari Keegan, who never did anything else, I don't think. That's too bad, because she's really really hot, and she seems like she can act, too. So I guess that the baby is Jason's...hell if I know. 

Jason body-hops all around Crystal Lake, causing death and destruction wherever he goes. While inhabiting one body, he actually talks (!!!) and drives (!!!). Anyway, slasher stuff is mixed in with "Who's the Jason?" and just plain Hidden-style action (like a prison break, where those Mark and Brian guys get killed, and one guy takes a whole lotta bullets - and a great massacre in a diner). So all in all, it's mostly a winning combination. 

That "Mr. X" guy from "The X-Files" plays a bounty hunter who's trying to nail Jason - he introduces us to the lamest plot twist in the series. That is, Jason can only be killed by another Voorhees, and only with A MAGIC DAGGER! That's the lamest "silver bullet" I've heard of in some time, and I've heard some lame shit in my day.

  The gore is waaaaaaaaay up there in this one. The most raunchy death' seeming doubly so considering that this is pretty much a mainstream, American release - is when this (really hot) chick is impaled and ripped in half while she's very naked and fucking this guy, splattering blood all over him. Damn, I loved that scene! Just disgusting. 

Characters are probably more well-drawn than in any other entry, with Keegan and the guy playing her estranged husband (boyfriend? Whatever.) most notable. There's a not-bad sense of humor to the proceedings, and there are some neat references to other horror movies (Creepshow, Evil Dead 2, Halloween) which serve no purpose at all, but are still nifty. There's also more foxy chicks than you can shake a barbecue skewer at (including one of the young lassies on "Kate & Allie", all grown up) (yum). 

All this would, in theory, add up to what should be the best in the series, but I dunno, I'd still have to go with Part VI. Mostly because of the fact that The Hidden beat this movie to it, and the filmmakers have unconvincingly stammered that they hadn't seen it when they made this (despite  the fact that for six years it had been available and very much acclaimed),which I find rather annoying. Splendid little twist at the end, by the way, perfectly setting up JvF, although how that would factor in to the direction that New Nightmare took a year later, I don't know. 

Directed by Adam Marcus, who appears to have quit the biz entirely afterward. 

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