FRANKENSTEIN (1993)
Of all people, Randy freakin' Quaid?
Randy Quaid just ain't no Creature. I mean, look at that nose! It's so...so pointy! The Creature doesn't have a pointy nose! He just...doesn't! Augh.
Yes, if you can accept Randy Quaid as the Creature, then maybe this one's for you. All things considered, it's put together pretty well, although anybody who despaired at the marginal liberties Kenneth Branagh took with his film oughtta shit nickels when they see this one. (while this one doesn't quite have the temerity to name Mary Shelley in the title, it does on the title screen)
Basically you've got Doctor (Doctor!) Victor Frankenstein, who creates his Creature (in a rather nifty manner, and one of the very few cinematic Creature creations that doesn't involve cobbling together dead, spare parts), which busts out, learns, and comes back to his creator when he gets horny. One of the things that brings the two back together is a psychic link (!) between them - you know, the Creature gets shot in the shoulder, and Victor gets a big bruise.
Patrick Bergin plays Frankenstein, in the only role I've ever seen him in without a mustache. When you see the size of his sniffletrough, you'll see why he usually wears hair over it. Anyway, I couldn't help but be reminded, for some reason, of Bruce Dickinson here, and I kept hoping for him to burst into a chorus of "Trumpets of Jericho".
And yes, a surprisingly lean Randy Quaid plays the Creature, and while he's not specifically bad, he's just kinda painful to look at, and hard to take seriously.
The movie's mostly got a great look about it, with foggy forests and opulent (well, cable TV opulent) homes. Sometimes, however, the budget shows too obviously, like when Frankenstein shows off some of his animal creations, like a snake with a cat's head and a rabbit with porcupine quills.
It's a noble effort, and often pretty inventive - even foreshadowing Branagh's twist of using Elizabeth in the creation process at the end, although in a different manner. It begins and ends as it should, and what's in between is by no means a poor job, but there's just something missing here. It's just too middling overall to recommend to anyone other than big 'stein buffs, and of course anyone curious to see what Patrick Bergin looks like without his mustache.