ICED
Left me cold

  I'm sure this movie wants to do for skiers what Jason did for goaltenders (really, what DID Jason do for goaltenders?), but what we get is a movie which does nothing for anybody, least of all the viewer.

A bunch of yuppies vacationing at a ski resort (called Snow Peak, which has to be the lamest name for a ski resort I've ever heard in my life) encounter a ski-goggled slasher who likes to dispatch his prey with wintry tools of destruction.  You know - bear traps, ski poles, icicles, snow plows.  I'd liked to have seen a Zamboni used as a murder weapon.  Instead of a slasher in the woods, this here's a slasher in the snow.

Dialogue is even more inane than you'd expect - with almost every character in the medical industry to some degree, when a nurse says "So one night, I had to catheterize this guy," a shocked colleague gasps "No!" in disbelief.  I don't think this was meant to be sarcastic.

We're treated to a number of POV shots from the killer - which took me a while to catch on to ("Oh, we're seeing through cracked snow goggles.  I thought we were looking at...never mind.").  Really, though, how much innovation was anybody expecting here?  It's a typically brain-dead slasher flick with some chuckles and unintentionally amusing murders (like the one where a guy reacts about two seconds after he's been stabbed), and not much more.

Lots of nudity though, and that's a bonus, ain't it?

Also known as Blizzard Of Blood.  You may be disappointed to hear that there is not actually a blizzard of blood in this movie.

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