MOON IN SCORPIO
I have no idea what this title's supposed to mean
Wow, what great box art for this baby! I knew a guy who had this poster. I was jealous. Had I known how bad the movie was, I might have been less jealous. (y'know, every morning at 11:23 I go out of my way to kick myself for missing out on the chance to get a Return Of The Living Dead 3 poster in 1994 or so) (just thought I'd tell everybody that)
Here's an idea of how badly structured this movie is. We're shown a scene in which one character named Mark almost falls off the boat. After that's resolved, our narrator says "Then something happened: Mark almost fell off the boat!"
That's just a microcosm of the film's structural awkwardness. The big problem is in the nature of the story. We're first shown a woman in a mental hospital, and then (this is flashback, but we don't know it yet) somebody escaping from said hospital (somehow managing to procure head-to-toe black clothing). The hospital officials hire a private detective to track down their missing patient, who finally zeroes in on a drifting boat, where we pick up that woman. Most of the rest of the movie is the woman's tale of what happened on that boat. So what we basically have is a whodunit psycho slasher flick in which not only does it take 2/3 of its 90-minute running length to get its slasher aspect going, but every character knows who the slasher is but doesn't want to say in front of the camera. (sniff sniff) Smells like suck to me.
The murder scenes are hilariously badly put together, as well. Much ado is made each time of the killer wielding some kind of speargun, but most of the murders are carried out with a kitchen knife. Acting and dialogue are both what you'd imagine, and the movie shows all the polish you'd expect from a director that's experienced as cinematographer in about nine billion straight-to-video soft-core porno movies.
Blows more goat than a New Zealand zephyr. Next time you see it in the video store, admire the box art, then rent something else.