SORCERESS (1994)
That Jim Wynorski sure likes tits
Man oh man, is this movie dumb. The very first scene has a man, cursed by a witch, leap out of his car to prevent himself from driving off ofwhat I guess is a bridge. You know, he could have just not driven off the bridge - the witch-curse appears to have caused him to have a heart attack or something, not forced his car in a particular direction. If that guy seriously thought that throwing himself from a moving vehicle was a better solution than just steering the vehicle away from certain destruction, then he sure paid for it dearly (he spends the rest of the movie in a wheelchair).
Anyway, then, we see a phone ring, and this woman demands of his guy "Would you answer that?" He says "No!" and picks it up. What the hell is that?
You know, when breasts are natural, you expect them to be a little lopsided. That's part of their charm. But when they're fake, you'd think that they'd be roughly symmetrical. No such luck for Julie Strain, who should probably sue her plastic surgeon - her right breast is way, way bigger than her left, at least it is in this movie.
Describing the plot of this movie is pointless. If you go see a movie like this for the plot, you've got problems, son. Suffice it to say that it involves three yuppie couples and some semblance of witchcraft, and in true Wynorski non-style, a whole lotta tits.
Now that, I'm not gonna complain about. Linda Blair has never looked this good, and there's a really great lesbian threesome about halfway through. It's got toe-sucking and everything! Alas, these two merits of the film don't overlap.
The other merit - Lenny Juliano is pretty good comic relief. (take one scene where he's knocked over the head in a sauna and locked in - when he wakes up, he says "Man, it's like a sauna in here!" Okay, I laughed.)
Pretty stupid and cheesy all around, I can't really recommend this one. But it has to be said that the "it was all a dream" ending is the first I've seen of its kind in which the fact that it was all a dream is actually bad news for the dreamer.