SPIDER BABY
A lot of silly fun

  Here's a weird, REALLY goofy flick from 1964 that sticks to the ol' adage "the family that slays together..."  We're told in the introduction by our narrator (Karl Schanzer) of the bizarre Merrye's syndrome, in which its victims mentally regress past the prenatal stage (?) until they become savage and animalistic.  Lucky for us, this syndrome is confined to the Merrye family.  "Incredible but true," he says.  "I know.  Only too well!"

Then we're introduced to the Merryes.  There's Elizabeth (Beverly Washburn), the older daughter, often left in charge, for all the order she keeps.  Virginia (Jill Banner), the younger daughter, who likes to play "spider" with people.  This is a fun game which basically consists of Virginia tangling you up in some sort of net and then carving you up with two butcher knives.  And then there's Ralph (Sid Haig, who I swear has NEVER had hair), a little further along in the syndrome than the others, who jumps around like a crazed, bald monkey and occasionally blathers out something incomprehensible.  They're watched over by Bruno (Lon Chaney Jr.), a kindly man who understands the kids' problems and is willing to tolerate them to a degree, but remember, "It's not nice to hate!"

Bad news for the Merryes, though - some evil relatives of theirs (Carol Ohmart, a former Miss Utah who blessedly spends much of the film prancing around in her undergarments, and Quinn K. Redeker, unsubtly made to look like Hitler) want to split up the family and take the house!  While they visit (and as do our narrator and, uh, Mary Mitchel, whose relationship to the others, I do not know), what is the family to do?

Talk about your goofy movies.  If you like seeing grown women act like psychotic juveniles, then yes, this movie's for you.  Okay, I admit.  I got a kick out of it too, and it helps that both women are totally hot.  I also liked the dinner scene where the guests are led to believe they're eating rabbit.  (it's good to see that somebody ELSE's pet's species ends up on somebody's plate)  A little postmodern humor adds to the weirdness of it all, like Mitchel's expression to Chaney of her love for werewolves - sure, here in the year 2000, we expect that in every other movie (to the point where most of us are quite tired of it), but this is from 1964!

And yet, despite all its goofiness, Chaney puts in an excellent, quiet performance as the guardian of a household of maniacs who has to make some hard decisions; it's a nice balancing act between the humor and pathos.

The full title of this one is Spider Baby or, The Maddest Story Ever Told.  Also known as Cannibal Orgy, The Liver Eaters, and Attack Of The Liver Eaters (never mind that nobody eats liver here).  Written and directed by Jack Hill, it's a hoot under any name.  The tape I saw (from Video Treasures) has a 15-or-so minute segment at the end with some re-united cast and crew at a 25th (or 30th, they couldn't make up their minds) anniversary show.

Give it a look, if you haven't already.  It's cute!

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