WARLOCK III: THE END OF INNOCENCE Hopefully, the end of this series

  Like with Xtro 3, I scarcely remember the first film, but remember quite liking the second.  (I might be the only one, with the possible exception of one friend of mine)  This third film, following that Xtro-like pattern, is not very good at all.

An art student (Ashley Laurence) is told that she's the last surviving relative of a family that owns a spooky New England house, and even though it's going to be torn down, or restored, or something, she'd better get over there and grab whatever she wants before it's gone.  So she invites all her friends (who decline) and drives out there.  (screenwriters Bruce David Eisen and Eric Freiser - who also directed - could not resist including the crusty local who stops here and warns, "Death's in that house!")  She starts having a spooky night when her friends show up anyway, followed up by the 350-year-old Warlock (Bruce Payne, taking over from Julian Sands and doing a much better job anyway) who proceeds to (get this) con them into giving him personal affects so he can cast evil spells on them.  That's the plot.  Oh, there's some nonsense about how he's trying to make this girl his Satanic bride, or Satan's bride, or something, but really, this movie is about a warlock casting evil spells on people, ooh, scary!

Now, to be fair, there are a number of things this movie does right.  There's a brief and totally freaky moment involving a mirror early on.  The outdoor photography is gorgeous (it was filmed in Ireland), and it's a shame that most of the movie takes place in this ugly house.  Payne is quite good, as I said.  And we actually get to see some nudity in this movie!  Sure, the S&M angle is weird and inappropriate, but these days when so few movies put any nudity in there at all, I'm just glad to see some boobs.

Sure, those things are done right, but everything else is done wrong, and this movie is a long 94-minute sit.  There's a pot-smoking musician, who inevitably uses the line "Whoa, this is some good shit!"  All the characters here are zero-dimensional stereotypes, you know, the jock, the musician, the artist, the witch, and from early on it looks like they're going to get Kevin Williamson-ish with their Planet Of The Apes references but as the movie lurches on, they don't even get that.  There is, of course, that dumb early scene which establishes that the house is evil by bringing in a totally irrelevant character and killing him right in front of the house.  And don't even ask about the title, which means nothing, and is only there, I assume, to throw off and rope in people who were looking to rent The End Of The Affair or The Loss Of Sexual Innocence.  Boy, are they gonna be disappointed.

It's just bad.  The naked chick is a former Playmate, if that helps rope YOU in.  

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