I have discovered the reason why I cry at night. Read on.
9-5-2000. The first day of class used to be a joyeux event. New bookbag, new books, new pens, and maybe, just maybe some new knowledge! No. Not here.
Creative Writing
The Positives: My professor is Burgess Meredith/Mr. Eldridge.
The Rest of It: One Senior in my class pronounced 'DesCartes' DESS-CAR-TAYES. Then she pronounced 'from' FROME. (Gee, I didn't know Ethan took this class...) I, the sophomore, was the only one that knew what iambic pentameter was (isn't it that building in Washington with the guns?). Don't even get me started on the inability to read an enjambed line.
Television Program Packaging
The Positives: I've watched, studied and analyzed television since childhood.
The Rest of It: My fellow students enjoy shows like Friends and The Simpsons. (What's Remember WENN? Heehee, they spelled WENN wrong- it's supposed to be 'whenn', duh.) My professor also told us we needed to start watching television, REALLY watching television. He then proceeded to give us a twenty-five minute lecture about the class, saying that 'all this writing' (a concept, a treatment, a pilot, five episode outlines and future plans) 'looked scary' and that it was going to be 'hard'.
I have my concept, my treatment and my future plans. And I STILL have time to watch TV! (Que disgusted sigh from peanut gallery. Oh look, Jennifer Anniston cut her hair again!)
Film Scenario Writing
The Positives: I have some friends in the class who are on the Student Activities Board and there's a whole new season of shows opening on Broadway that I want discount tickets to (nudge nudge wink wink).
The Rest of It: Nothing like getting a fifteen minute lecture consisting of 'priority scheduling is wrong because all those poor seniors that want to graduate on time need this class and now they can't get in'. EXPLANATION OF PRIORITY SCHEDULING: Honours students (yes, I am one- can't ya tell?) schedule THE SAME TIME as seniors. SAME TIME. It's not our fault we didn't get drunk the night before and were too lazy to wake up at eight and dial a few numbers into a touch-tone phone. By the way, my professor is the same one from Film History 2 last semester (you know, the 'go watch porn' guy). So, when he accused me of being a sophomore (he's more of a sophomore than I am) I simply stated, "I didn't create the system, I just take advantage of it." He grumbled a meek reply and went on to the next person. That's right, don't mess with me bud, I AM the Angry Jewish Woman.
Semantics
The Positives: Casey's in my class, so we may mock freely together. CLUB meeting anyone?
The Rest of It: Out of 31 people, Casey and I were the only two to know what 'semantics' meant. In the beginning of the class, he asked us to write down the answers to questions such as 'Why did you take this class?' and 'Who reccommended it to you?' (My answers were as follows: 'I needed it to stay in the country' and 'The Queen said it was poppycock'- he wasn't collecting the papers. Hell, even if he was I'd have still written what I did...conformity is for beasts and amoebas. That's right, OTHER kolige students.) Going around the room each person gave their answers. However, when it came to him asking them what 'semantics' meant, they couldn't answer. They just 'took the class 'cause it was a requirement, yo'. Finally he came to me. 'Why did you take this class?' I replied, "Because I enjoy the study of words, their interrelationships and meanings." He choked back his Coke and simply said, "Well, that's a good answer." Everyone else laughed in confusion. Casey and I continued to doodle.
Radio Broadcasting I
The Positives: My professor is Victor Comstock, straight down to the deadpan wit. I'm waiting for him to come in with a police uniform...then class should be REAL interesting...
The Rest of It: He's like Victor Comstock. Which is really cool, except for the fact that he's also a tad tight about things like timing and whatnot. So, as long as I do projects myself I should be fine. Oh, but there's that whole 'group work' thing he has going on...ha ha ha...no. Actually, this class shouldn't be that bad. Our final project involves interviewing war veterans, and I've got three on easy access- my great uncle who was on the U.S.S. North Carolina, my uncle who was in Saigon of all places during that whole Vietnam cou, and my grandfather who was a head-honcho in the largest ordinance plant in the country during the war. (If you don't know what an ordinance plant is, they made big bombs and stuff! *insert dumb gasp here*) So that project should be cake. And yes, I took college page space to brag. Sue me. (Anyone who knows my name will get that joke real quick. :)
Film Theory/Technique I
The Positives: Well, we use a BOLEX! A few of my friends, including La Presidente, work in the film lab so at least I get to truck them along on projects. My fellow students are sarcastic enough...with one exception...
The Rest of It: Senor Spielbergo sits in the front row. Just..eeghh.
Well, it's December. Right now I'm listening to my rough radio final, so I'll have to get back to you later. Stay tuned.
Class
In order from best to worst, here are my final thoughts on my hours spent doodling this semester...
TV Program Packaging The best class EVER. (EVER!) My professor rocked, my group was funny, and the class was fun. I'll miss it. As for my television concept, NBC better be holding onto their chairs, because after they read it, they're going to have the youngest Executive Vice President of Original Programming.
Film Scenario Writing Granted, it was Porno Professor, but I'll admit I enjoyed my time on those hard black chairs. He admitted that one of my screenplays was the best in the class, and that I'm a good writer, so he's ok in my book, at least in some regard. Again, the classmates made the time fly by, and I was writing, so who's not to have fun?
Film Theory/Tech I The joys of Senor Spielbergo. The one class I missed was the day my friend finally ripped the insane director-wannabe out. DAMN! Nonetheless, enjoyable. Good groups, interesting people, and I got to introduce an Australian to peanut butter and jelly. I am accomplished. I also learned that, as far as film goes, I'll stick to writing and maybe editing on the computer. Shooting-egh. Forget that ::as my fingers continue to thaw out::.
Radio Broadcasting Cool software in the audio labs, and the oral histories were fun to get. My professor made an otherwise mundane class interesting, and he's also my advisor, so I believe I developed a good repetoire.
Creative Writing I "Something from your world in our time might be better." "Cliched ending." "Clickish." Riiiight. Retire old man. I'm a better writer than you'll ever be. Then again, the guy's favourite author is J.D. "Catcher in the Rye" Salinger, so I should've known.
Semantics It's great to have a class where your professor cancels more than you skip. WHEE!! Nothing like sitting in the back, being sarcastic, and getting an A. What a useless waste of time. I was back in high school again.
Clubs
I actually did more than submit an article to "Venue" this semester. Wow. I'm floored too.
Women in Communications Not only am I a member, I'm the Vice President of the newly to-be-chartered University chapter. We're women, we communicate, it's that general. We walked ten miles for breast cancer and we're also going to help girl scouts make a movie. Not bad, eh? Next semester, we even get a budget!
Venue Oy vey. Well, let's just say it was better when a Jew ran it. After all, we are experts at running the media (sic.). Anywho, I submitted my first article on Lieberman which turned out all right, at least until they chopped up a paragraph and changed my photo. They loved the second article I submitted, so hopefully that won't get hacked too. Ah 'Venue'...they'd better go to New York for that conference next semester.
Channel Five I've dubbed myself Executive in Charge of Original Programming. Next semester, Channel Five will have its very own soap opera, hopefully it will last longer than 'As the Tuition Rises'. Stay tuned for further details...
Cinema Workshop Anything must be done to stop the rule of Senor Spielbergo. Even if it means bringing in a sophomore with nearly no interest in film to possibly run the place next year. I'll do it. He must be stopped.
JSU I only went to one meeting, but I'm an active member! Hey, we're not TCNJ.
Other Such Randomness
Independent Study with a Doctor in the Philosophy/Religion Department continues to prove interesting. This semester I've learned more about being Jewish than my 19 years have taught me. Next semester should be even more interesting...I get to write and submit articles to various publications. Maybe I'll even get printed!
Fame I've developed a new love for Bette Midler and Patti LuPone. Great actresses, great singers, and, at least for Bette, great ego. I also had a chance to talk to Rupert Holmes, (M.U.), which ruled.
Internships My quest to avoid being a human resource this summer is finally seeing the light of day. I'm getting letters of recommendation that will be mailed, along with my resume, to NBC, Comedy Central, and who knows who else. Oh please, G-d, PLEASE...
Websites My great undertaking of the semester was my Committee for the Election of Rupert Holmes as Master of the Universe page. You will be convinced. I'm now in the midst of creating a WW2 page, as well as considering undertaking a Jason Alexander page. He deserves a really good website...
Writing Outside of scripts, concepts, short stories and etc. for classes, not much. I am working on a WENNfic though..the idea, oddly enough, came to me in Radio class. Over winter break, I'll hopefully be able to get some scripts for the soap written.
That's about it. I hope you enjoyed this semester as much as I did. With the exceptions of the fire drills, the school bus to New York, the flu, Senor Spielbergo, and the on-campus shooting it hasn't been that bad. Until next semester, I leave you with this quote: