Holy Evil: The year started out with a Monday Mindwarp on January 6! Who was active at that time?
Nakedman: Diggzy Brown; Violent Jack; Von; Clarence T; Chainsaw Max; Stormfire as CAPTAIN STORMERICA and his look-alike Prachord (Bucky); JMan and Mikey Ripper with their Catfight hos Sarah Anne and Kristine; Austin Hardy; Mags and Soap Opera man as the Rock and Roll Sexpress; you and Baby-Baby-Bubba as Evil Baby; Vile; Stan Daniels; Afro Jackson; Manowar; Sheepinator (“The Big Red X of Doom”) and - last but not least - Genocide as the UC Champ! The Head was UCE Commish at the time, and the Fed Reporters were Atlantis the Dolphin and FYI Guy.
Holy Evil: Hrm. Good roundup of everyone who was here to begin the year. But didn’t you leave out a whole bunch of the roster?
Nakedman: Like who?
Holy Evil: Uhm… Vice, Jennifer, Divinity, Priestess, Jailbait and Ginger?
Nakedman: Damnation! I hate female characters! Thank god we don’t have so many any more.
Holy Evil: Indeed. And I’ve got to say that Captain Stormerica’s fight against the red threat was a highlight of the month.
Nakedman: That’s right, Holy-Tub-of-Goo! And since Stormy’s in the AoD – we couldn’t possibly be biased! Say, remember when you were out of shape and Stormerica used that serum on you, fatty?
Holy Evil: SURE! And don’t forget that the Evil Communist, Dr. Genocide, was another enemy of Stormerica and Prachord. The unlikely team often screwed itself over by having stupid things happen. A good example is Stormy’s shield knocking both Prachord And Geno out, with Geno landing on top of Prachord, causing Prachord to miss his chance at winning the UC Title! Stormy did, however, eventually win the title for himself, ending a long reign by Geno.
Nakedman: Well, the January 9 Thursday Carnage also marked another zany UCE tag team creation – The Mailmen! The T-Ex team, Austin Hardy and Chainsaw Max, showed up in a mail van… and though they lost their premier match… the angle was there to stay!
Holy Evil: All sorts of crazy things happened in January. Soap Opera Man had recently become Sitcom Man. Violent Jack became Alice Milazzo. Von turned into Prototype to team up with Jennifer who became Alex Asylum. I can’t keep track of all the crap that happened!
Nakedman: Haha! And who would want to?
Holy Evil: I’ll tell you something I do remember though. At the January T3SOB, myself and Bubba represented the UCE.
Nakedman: Yes, and you were joined by Magnifico and Sitcom Man, the previous month’s champs who automatically returned.
Holy Evil: Ah, but it was Evil Baby that won it – and we became the T3SOB Champs! HUZZAH!
Nakedman: And damn that Stormfire for not winning the USOB like he was supposed to after all the AoD stable money was dumped on him.
Holy Evil: At mid-month, the same time me and Bubba were totally winning the T3SOB, the UCE tag division got a bit thicker with the arrival of Gentleman and Empozible.
Nakedman: Say, how about we go into the deep and complicated PMS-driven feud between Ginger and Vice that occurred this month, dating back to an old Oni Chan feud?
Holy Evil: Or how about we not and instead discuss the end of the month events?
Nakedman: Sure. Let’s do that!
Holy Evil: Stormy retained the fed title in a 3-Way match at the Revival PPV… and Vile’s brother VULGAR showed up to win the BMF Title.
Nakedman: And the big winners for the month at the JANUARY ATLANTIS AWARDS WERE:
Best Newcomer: GentlemanNakedman: And also in January, Baby Bubba was voted into the UCE Hall of Fame! His T3SOB victories had to have helped!
Best Feud/Angle: TIE: Fed-Ex (T-Ex) and Captain Stormerica
Best Heel: Genocide
Best Face: Stormfire
Best Roleplayer: Prachord
Best Tag Match: Evil Baby vs. Super Awesome Japanese Ninja Masters (T3SOB qualifier)
Best Tag Team: T3SOB Champs: Evil Baby - Holy Evil and Baby Bubba
Best Wrassler: Stormfire
Holy Evil: Lets take a look at some excerpts from the interview me and Bubba had with Atlantis.
Atlantis: I'm sitting here with the top team in the UCE right now, Evil Baby, and might I say, what a pleasure!Nakedman: Hehe… classic. So to close off the month of January, I officially announce Stormfire, Baby Bubba, Holy Evil, Austin Hardy and Chainsaw Max as the UCE STARS OF JANUARY 2003!Baby Bubba pauses his game of Madden 2003.
Baby Bubba: Hi.
Holy Evil: Hello.
Baby Bubba: We are invincible.
Atlantis: I don't know where to start. You guys were voted Best Tag Team in the end of month Atlantis Awards. How does it feel to be valued by your peers so highly?
Holy Evil: Meh. It's good to finally see some one get something right for once, instead of always picking stupid and/or crappy people for those awards!
Baby Bubba: Stupid....crappy......people.
Holy Evil: How the hell did Mags ever win 4?!
Baby Bubba: Maybe it was bribes.
Atlantis: Bribes? I wonder how Bubba got three.
Baby Bubba: Uh.......they were gifts. Gifts of....*shifty eyes*
Holy Evil: His amazing talent, naturally.
Baby Bubba: I unfortunately already lost my Atlantis Awards. May I have replacements?
Atlantis: Lost them? Well at least you didn't eat them. I've had that before. It does mean a lot, though. I can reveal that the vote was incredibly lopsided and you got over 90% of the vote.
Holy Evil: Obviously. Who else was there to vote for? We owned the tag division AND won the T3SOB.
Baby Bubba: Were you gonna vote for the Rock n Roll Sexpress? Ha!
Atlantis: Let's move on. I suppose the obvious place to start is your Tag Team Title win early last month beating the Rock and Roll Sexpress.
Holy Evil: Yeah! We beat them so bad that we actually forced them to go to the regionals... HAH!
Baby Bubba: Those suckers. We ran them out of the fed. Honest. But only take our words for it. If you ask them, they'll tell you different. But that's because they are ashamed. ashamed I say.
Holy Evil: Yeah. Don't ask them about it. I'm sure they'll lie horribly.
Baby Bubba: I don't even like them enough to play Madden 2003 with them.
Atlantis: I'm not allowed to. I can only talk to UCE wrasslers and specially selected wrasslers by EC appointment only. Your secret's safe.
Holy Evil: Yes! ^5 Bubba!
Baby Bubba: ^5
Holy Evil: Now no one will know that we barely won and are totally lying and - Er... Uh... Ignore I said that.
Baby Bubba: And if anyone asks....I am so not winless against Mags in Madden.
Holy Evil: Same here Bubba. Same here
Baby Bubba: Heheh. No one has ever beaten Evil Baby...and no one ever will! Ever!
Holy Evil: Yeah! We're unbeaten in tag team matches!
Atlantis: How big of an event was that in the careers of Evil Baby?
Holy Evil: The event was pretty big for us as a team. I mean, it was our first official match.
Baby Bubba: It was a piece of cake though to add on to that. But not cake that you were to say....fall face-first into... That would be downright silly.
Holy Evil: Yes. Though the cake was tasty to eat.
Holy Evil: Hrm. I wonder who the men of February 2003 will be?
Nakedman: Let’s see!