| I have decided once again to share my superior intellect with all of you. (you may thank me later) As it inevitably had to be without my help my poor mortal friends you have all gotten yourself into a rather large mess. Your religions are a joke and a pathetic one at that. Now out of the kindness of my Master's heart (Lord Broccolimort) he has given me permission to show you the one true way. The only path of true righteousness is... vegetables. Yes dear friend for too long we have ignored the obvious signs that vegetables are truly the guiding forces of the universe. I know what you are thinking. (VEGETABLES?! for the love of dairy products the poor girl has finally flipped) Don't be so narrow minded the way of enlightenment is never easy and some of the things people worship are a lot odder than vegetables believe me I know. There are some people (that shall remain nameless) that worship a fictional character from the Harry Potter books. As I was saying vegetables hold the key to all mystery and happiness and you too can know the wonders of the true way. Please for the sake of your soul do not lightly turn your face from them. Oh and by the way recently I have come across some information that leads me to believe there is an entire group of people that subsist on nothing but our kind masters. Vegans I believe they are called. They are a monstrosity, an abomination. We must stop them at all costs. The world will not be a safe place for you or your offsping until everone of those tree hugging hippie bastards are dead! Join the revolution! Support vegetables! It is what you were put here to do. Thank you (bows) |
