Some of the 285 Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
(canon and non-canon)

(TFROA: the book The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, by Ira Steven Behr)

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Rules quoted onscreen (i.e., "canon"):
 
1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
- "The Nagus"
3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
- "The Maquis, Part II"
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
- "The Nagus"
7. Keep your ears open.
- "In the Hands of the Prophets"
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
- "The Storyteller"
10. Greed is eternal.
- "Prophet Motive", "False Profits" (VOY)
16. A deal is a deal.
- "Melora"
("...until a better one comes along." -- TFROA)
17. A contract is a contract is a contract, but only between Ferengi.
- "Body Parts"
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
- "Heart of Stone", "Ferengi Love Songs"
21. Never place friendship above profit.
- "Rules of Acquisition"
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
- "Rules of Acquisition", "False Profits" (VOY)
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother.
- "The Siege"
("...insult something he cares about instead." -- TFROA)
33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
- "Rules of Acquisition"
34. War is good for business.
- "Destiny", "The Siege of AR-558"
35. Peace is good for business.
- "Destiny"
47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
- "Rivals"
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
- "Rules of Acquisition"
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum -- treasure them.
- "Armageddon Game"
59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
- "Rules of Acquisition"
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
- "Rules of Acquisition", "Little Green Men", "Business As Usual"
75. Home is where the heart is -- but the stars are made of latinum.
- "Civil Defense"
76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.
- "The Homecoming"
94. Females and finances don't mix.
- "Ferengi Love Songs", "Profit and Lace"
(was published in TFROA first)
95. Expand or die.
- "False Profits" (VOY)
98. Every man has his price.
- "In the Pale Moonlight"
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
- "The Jem'Hadar"
103. Sleep can interfere with...
- "Rules of Acquisition"
(Note: Pel started to quote this Rule, but never finished the sentence.)
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
- "Rivals"
111. Treat people in your debt like family -- exploit them.
- "Past Tense, Part I", "The Darkness and the Light"
112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
- "Playing God"
125. You can't make a deal if you're dead.
- "The Siege of AR-558"
139. Wives serve; brothers inherit.
- "Necessary Evil"
168. Whisper your way to success.
- "Treachery, Faith and the Great River"
190. Hear all; trust nothing.
- "Call to Arms"
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
- "Whispers"
(Note: Technically, Quark says, "One of the high numbers. 194, I think.")
203. New customers are like razor-toothed gree-worms: they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
- "Little Green Men"
208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.
- "Ferengi Love Songs"
211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success -- don't hesitate to step on them.
- "Bar Association"
214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
- "The Maquis, Part I"
217. You can't free a fish from water.
- "Past Tense, Part I"
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
- "Ferengi Love Songs"
(was published in TFROA first)
239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
- "Body Parts"
263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum.
- "Bar Association"
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
- "The Collaborator", "The Sound of Her Voice"

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Three Rules stated onscreen without numbers: (in "False Profits" [VOY])
 

Exploitation begins at home.
Time is an asset.
Your goods are my goods.

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The "Unwritten Rule":
 

When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up.
- "False Profits" (VOY)

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Unofficial Rules:
 

286. When Morn leaves, it's all over.
- "The House of Quark" (Made up by Quark)
299. Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them; that way it's easier to exploit them the next time.
- "False Profits" (VOY)
(It is unknown whether this Rule exists or not; possibly it exists but Neelix got the number wrong.)

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Zek's Revised Rules of Acquisition ("Prophet Motive"):
 

1. If they want their money back, give it to them.
10. Greed is dead.
21. Never place profit before friendship.
22. Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever.
23. Money can never replace dignity.
285. A good deed is its own reward.
(All copies of Zek's revised Rules were destroyed.)


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Non-canon Rules:

(These Rules come from both TNG & DS9 comic books and novels, or from Ira Steven Behr's book The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, herein abbreviated as TFROA. A few Rules have been listed with duplicate numbers. This is not a typo. Both of the two sources have the same number Rule. In each case, both Rules and sources have been listed. )

If you come across a non-canon Rule from a comic book or novel, please send it to me, since I don't read them anymore.
 
 

2. The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
- The 34th Rule (DS9 novel) (courtesy of co-author David R. George III)
5. Always exaggerate your estimates.
- Cold Fusion (Star Trek: Starfleet Corps of Engineers e-book) (courtesy of Keith R.A. DeCandido)
8. Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.
- Warchild (DS9 novel)
8. Small print leads to large risk.
- TFROA
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
- TFROA (also The Making of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine by Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens)
15. Dead men close no deals.
- Demons of Air and Darkness (DS9 novel) (Courtesy of author Keith R.A. DeCandido)
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
- TFROA
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
- TFROA
40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
- TFROA
41. Profit is its own reward.
- TFROA
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
- TFROA
52. Never ask when you can take.
- TFROA
53. Never trust anybody taller than you.
- Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel) (courtesy of author David R. George III)
58. There is no substitute for success.
- TFROA
60. Let's you and him fight.
- Balance of Power (TNG novel)
60. Keep your lies consistent.
- TFROA
65. Win or lose, there's always Hupyrian beetle snuff.
- TFROA
69. Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.
- Balance of Power (TNG novel)
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
- TFROA
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
- TFROA
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
- TFROA
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, ask what you can do for your profits.
- TFROA
97. Enough...is never enough.
- TFROA
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
- TFROA
103. Fill a desperate need with your most expensive product, then mark it up five hundred percent.
- The Heart of the Warrior (DS9 novel)
104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
- TFROA
106. There is no honor in poverty.
- TFROA
113. Always have sex with the boss.
- TFROA
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
- TFROA
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
- TFROA
141. Only fools pay retail.
- TFROA
144. There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
- TFROA
153. Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
- Malibu DS9 comic #22
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
- TFROA
177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
- TFROA
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
- TFROA
184. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
- Balance of Power (TNG novel)
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
- TFROA
192. Never cheat a Klingon...unless you're sure you can get away with it.
- TFROA
202. The justification for profit is profit.
- TFROA
218. Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
- Malibu DS9 comic #12
218. Always know what you're buying.
- TFROA
219. Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
- Balance of Power (TNG novel)
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
- TFROA
(Note: In "Profit and Loss," Quark quotes the number but is interrupted before he can recite the Rule.)
235. Duck; death is tall.
- Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel) (courtesy of author David R. George III)
236. You can't buy fate.
- TFROA
242. More is good...all is better.
- TFROA
255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
- TFROA
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
- TFROA
266. When in doubt, lie.
- TFROA
284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.
- TFROA
305. Always be considerate.
- Mission Gamma: Twilight (DS9 novel) (courtesy of author David R. George III) (Not a real Rule, of course, but quoted by Quark.)