PIG       Am I talking about those oinkers, like Porky, that we usually encounter as “chops” (just what the hell is a “chop” anyway)? Or, am I using a delightful moniker reserved for our civil defenders? No (to both those questions). I’m talkin’ bout (how’s my slang my homies) our beloved Participation In Government class. What’s not to like about this class? There’s no final, none of that bothersome “content”, and (here’s the kicker (no, not a “real” kicker, it’s a figure of speech)) no intelligence whatsoever is required. I mean, a monkey could pass this course and they were way stupider than The Beatles (I got that one from Dana Delameter, wasn’t it hilarious?).       Well, after that enthralling introduction you may be convinced that PIG is a great class, but (now, this may confuse some of you) it’s really not all it’s cracked up to be (wow! that sucked). One big problem about this class is the “hours” thing. I don’t see a need to waste my time going to school board meetings or to town court just to see how inefficiently they’re run. And then comes volunteering. Here’s a news flash for everyone: It isn’t volunteering if you’re doing for an ulterior motive. Going to a soup kitchen is all fine and good if it’s done because you want to out of the goodness of your heart, not to get a good PIG grade. I mean I help people (sometimes) but I don’t want credit or recognition (stating it now doesn’t count. I’m proving a point). I do it because I want to. Meetings and volunteering, Pah!       Now as if that wasn’t enough, this “class” requires its students to do a “final project”. What’s this about? Hell if I know, but its not the most entertaining of undertakings. One week to research something that you could do in 40 minutes is really ridiculous. Then we waste a week (yes, a whole week) for the mundane drudgery of presenting the (unimaginative, uninteresting and irksome) reports to inform us of social problems we already know about, have existed over 20 years and will continue to exist perpetually until the collapse of our civilization (well, maybe). This time would be better used for playing D&D or doing something even slightly constructive. Whoever came up with this should have their head(s) examined (I’m looking at you board of regents).       Consequently, PIG is a poorly conceived attempt at designing a course that teaches students about the government (mainly because we know more about it than those cooky nuts down in Albany think). It would be wiser to create a course that teaches of historical governments from around the globe (not like the poor job crappy global history did) as well as present governments comparing and contrasting them. This would help students see the good and bad points of the US government (and there are (many)). Finally I leave you fine folks with my humble opinion: PIG being a real class is as feasible as me getting laid. I might consider the former true as soon as the latter is.