FINDING HOME
by Mary S.
Note: This story by Mary Stark is temporarily hosted on vanhunks's site.
Disclaimer: They still all belong to Viacom/Paramount, or whatever corporation owns them now.
Rating: PG-13
Notes: In this story, there is no Admiral Janeway. Also, I am following Rick Berman’s original plan for Seven of Nine, as described on the Voyager DVD for Season Seven. I only wish he’d stuck to it.
This story is for Jinny R, who read a first draft of parts 2 and 3 in 2004 and promptly scrawled across it in large letters – FINISH THIS. Periodically, I’d find that draft, see her note, and my conscience would nudge me. Well, Jin, it’s taken a while but it’s finally finished.
As always, many thanks to Shayenne who continues to keep me on the right track (no pun intended).
PART ONE
Chakotay tossed and turned restlessly in his bed, moaning as his dream consumed him. The dream in which he was finally achieving his greatest desire – making love with Kathryn. Closer and closer they came together….
And then he woke up.
Disoriented and groaning at the intensity of the dream, Chakotay lay still for several minutes, trying to get his bearings. What a dream! He hadn’t experienced one like that for close to a year! “I thought I’d gotten past those feelings for Kathryn,” he muttered to the empty room.
With a grunt followed by a sigh of resignation, he got out of bed and headed into the bathroom, wondering why he would have such a dream now, just when he was contemplating whether to start a relationship with Seven. Was his subconscious trying to tell him something? Maybe….
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
In her quarters, Kathryn Janeway was comfortably settled in her favourite armchair, her feet propped on an ottoman, reading her beloved Dante. After a long shift that had been stretched even further with a small emergency in Engineering, she was finally able to relax with one of her very favourite books – La Vita Nuova. Although she had read it before, several times in fact, tonight she needed something to soothe and calm her mind.
She had just gotten nicely into it and was thinking how well the elegant passages had stood the test of time, when she became aware of several muffled groans echoing from Chakotay’s cabin next door. Pausing, she listened intently, waiting to hear if the noise was repeated. There it was again, sounding like moaning with an odd sort of grunt at the end. He could be snoring – that might be all it was – but then she became aware of water running and realized he must be in the bathroom.
For a moment longer she hesitated before curiosity won out. “Computer! Is Commander Chakotay awake?” Although she knew he must be. Why else would the water be turned on? Still, she wanted to make sure.
“Affirmative.”
“Janeway to Chakotay.”
There was a pause of nearly a minute, and she’d just begun to think both she and the computer must have been mistaken, before he replied, “Chakotay here. Is there a problem?” While his words were perfectly normal, his voice was not. There was an odd note in it which she couldn’t place. Suddenly, every instinct was on alert.
“No, not for me,” she hastened to reassure him, “but I heard you just now and wondered if you’re all right.”
Several seconds passed before he answered. “I’m fine, Kathryn, no need to worry.” But his voice continued to sound strained, almost as if he were forcing out the words.
Succumbing to impulse, she announced, “I’m coming over. Janeway out.” Which effectively cut off his reassuring reply that really, she didn’t need to bother.
“You see?” He told her when he opened the door in response to her chime. “I’m fine.”
By now, he had his voice under control, and she would have believed him if she hadn’t seen something in his eyes. “No, you’re not,” she declared firmly, her mouth tightening with concern, then pushed past him to sit down on his couch. “What’s the problem?”
Chakotay shook his head in resignation. She knew him far too well. Plunking himself onto the couch beside her, he debated what he could say that would allay her fears. But the words wouldn’t come; he was tired, frustrated, his emotions still wrought up by the dream. ‘What the hell?!’ he decided abruptly. ‘She wants to know? I’ll tell her everything and see what her reaction is. Maybe it will help me come to a decision about Seven.’
“I had a dream,” he began, “a very intense dream…about us.”
Kathryn looked puzzled. “You mean…‘us’ as in the crew, or …?” Her voice trailed off as he shook his head.
“ ‘Us’ as in you and me,” he answered.
As he continued to speak, relating the dream in more graphic detail than he’d originally intended, Kathryn listened without interrupting. Although her face was calm, inside her feelings were on a rollercoaster. After all this time, all these years, Chakotay still loved her! In a way, it was quite gratifying! But she knew she must keep a tight rein on her emotions, mustn’t let him know how much she loved him too, for if she did, she was sure he would try to coax her into a more intimate relationship and that simply couldn’t happen. For the good of the ship, she had to put her feelings – their feelings – aside. As always, all her focus, all her attention must be on the crew and their common goal to get home. And they would, she was more sure of it every day.
There were other reasons, too, why she couldn’t become involved with her first officer. What would Starfleet think? While there were no rules specifically forbidding personal relationships between officers, protocols concerning fraternization were quite explicit, particularly in regard to the conduct of a ship’s captain. Very simply, as the senior officer, she could not indulge herself with anyone under her command.
As well, Starfleet Command had not yet communicated a final decision about the fate of the Maquis, and although Kathryn was prepared to fight for her crew tooth and nail, she was well aware that her word wouldn’t carry much weight if it were known she was in bed with their renegade leader. For his own good, she had to keep Chakotay at arm’s length.
As she heard him out, these thoughts flitted through her head as they had so many times before. This time, however, her resolve was tested as he described how they had made love, his face softening with an indescribable expression of happiness and joy as he spoke. At the end, when he glanced up, the intensity of his gaze left no doubt that he wouldn’t mind making the dream reality, if only she would let him.
Clenching her hands together, Kathryn tried to force out the words that would destroy his hopes. “Chakotay, I….” She paused to swallow the lump in her throat, then took a deep breath, making herself continue. “I’m sorry, I thought you’d gotten past those feelings a long time ago. We have a wonderful, warm friendship, one which I rely on, and I don’t want to lose that. I need you as a first officer and a friend. And that’s all. I hope I can still have that?”
Chakotay nodded. Much as he hated the idea of parameters, he understood Kathryn’s position very well and was willing to abide by her rules. He shrugged, thinking that he had his answer, anyway. There was no chance with her, there probably never had been. However, as she said, they were close friends, so maybe she would have an idea about what he should do regarding Seven.
“I understand, Kathryn, and it’s all right.” He chuckled softly. “You insisted on coming over, you know, even when I tried to put you off.”
She was quick to smile in agreement. “Yes, I did.”
“Actually, as long as you’re here, there’s something else I’ve been thinking about. Maybe you could give me some advice.”
Glad to change the subject, Kathryn replied eagerly. “Sure. What is it?” However, her relief was short-lived as Chakotay explained that he’d had a couple of informal dates with Seven and was presently trying to decide whether or not to pursue the relationship.
Kathryn’s jaw dropped at this bombshell, but she managed to bite back her objections and hear him out. By the time he asked her what she thought about his dating Seven, she’d recovered enough to tell him that Seven was very lucky indeed to have him to guide her through her first serious romance, and that she wished them both well.
His expression drooped slightly at her quick acceptance of the idea but he didn’t question it, merely nodding and thanking her. “Your approval is essential before I go any further with Seven. You’re not only my best friend but hers as well.”
‘Best friend’, she thought sadly even as she pasted a happy smile on her face. ‘I guess that’s all I can be, especially as long as we’re in the Delta Quadrant.’ She knew Chakotay was watching her closely for her reaction and decided she better leave before she gave herself away.
“Good luck,” she told him, as she got to her feet. “Thank you for trusting me. And keep me updated on your progress,” she added as she headed for the door.
“I will,” he called out in reply.
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
Three days later, when Kathryn invited Chakotay to join her for lunch in the mess hall so they might sample Chell’s new menu, he declined, saying he had other plans. Although he didn’t spell it out, she understood that he was meeting Seven.
“Let me take a raincheck, would you?” he asked.
“Absolutely,” she promised, smiling warmly.
After he’d left, however, her smile faded and for a few moments, her eyes grew very sad until she reminded herself firmly that she had a ship to run and no time to waste on personal recriminations and might-have-beens. With renewed determination, she forced herself back to work.
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
Only a few days later, Voyager’s sensors made a momentous discovery which changed their fortunes in the Delta Quadrant permanently.
They found a Borg transwarp hub.
After considerable debate and discussion about what methods would allow them to both use it to get home and then destroy it, preferably without killing themselves in the process, the senior staff devised a plan.
B’Elanna announced that for some time now, at odd moments, she had been studying Borg technology from the bits and pieces they’d picked up over the past several years. She believed that she could modify two or three photon torpedoes, reconfiguring them to be powerful enough to destroy a cube.
“It’s a kind of transphasic modulation,” she explained. “I’ve been playing around with the idea for a while but until recently, I hadn’t figured out how to do it. However, Seven gave me a couple of suggestions and I think I’ve found a way.” She took a deep breath. “And there’s more. This is still theoretical, you understand, but it seems to me if the torpedoes can destroy a cube, there is no reason why they couldn’t also destroy the shielding in a transwarp conduit, which would in turn cause a cascade reaction that would destroy the entire hub. The idea is that we would enter the conduit to the Alpha Quadrant, fire the torpedo and scoot through just ahead of the explosion. It would be close, but I believe it could work.”
“And you’re ready to make these modifications?” asked Janeway eagerly.
“I haven’t tested them, Captain, if that’s what you mean. It’s still very experimental and certainly risky, but if it works…well….” She held out her hands. “We could be home.”
“That sounds very promising, B’Elanna. I want you to start on these modifications at once.”
“Yes, Captain, I’ll get on it right away. I’ll need Seven and probably Harry as well.”
“Take whoever you want. This is top priority.” The captain glanced around the conference table. “Anyone else have something to add? I’m open to suggestions.”
But there was a general shaking of heads, so she dismissed them with orders to get to work immediately.
With most of Engineering involved in the modifications, it didn’t take long for rumours to spread and the rest of the crew to quickly become aware of a new level of excitement and optimism. The captain, however, was reluctant to make any formal announcement until she had some definite results from B’Elanna.
Thirty six hours later, the word finally came from engineering. The modifications were complete and the torpedoes ready to go. B’Elanna did feel it necessary to warn Janeway again that the entire premise was based on untried technology. “It works in theory, but in practice? I can’t make any promises.”
But Janeway refused to be deterred when the goal was so close. “Well then,” she retorted, “this will be the field test.”
B’Elanna nodded, then added it might be a good idea to reinforce the shields. However, shortly after starting on the project, she went into labour, continuing to shout instructions to her crew even as she was being helped out the door to go to sickbay. Then, before the work could be completed, Harry announced that sensors had picked up several cubes heading directly for them on an intercept course.
Chakotay glanced at his captain. “If we’re going ahead with this, we’d better make it quick.”
For a moment longer, she mulled it over, then nodded decisively. “All right, people. Let’s do it.”
At once, the crew sprang into action.
“All hands, this is the captain. I’m sure you’re all aware by now of the possibility of reaching the Alpha Quadrant. It’s a risky procedure but I believe it’s the best chance to get home that we’re ever likely to have. So we’re going to do it. It will probably be a rough ride, people, so secure all stations and batten down the hatches. Bridge out.”
She paused for a beat, then hailed Tom Paris. “We’re going in, Tom. I’m sorry but I need you at the helm right now. Report to the bridge immediately.”
In sickbay, Tom opened his mouth to protest but B’Elanna beat him to it. “Go. You’re our best pilot, flyboy, so get up there and get us home. Don’t worry. With the doctor here, I’ll be fine.”
He paused a moment longer before bending to kiss her gently. “I love you,” he murmured into her ear, then straightened and headed out the door.
As the door swished closed, B’Elanna lay back on the biobed. “Right, Doctor. We’ve wasted enough time. Let’s get this show on the road.”
Once Paris had settled at the helm, the captain directed him to set a course for the hub, then ordered Tuvok to have the modified torpedoes ready to fire. “We’ll only get one chance, so it has to be right the first time,” she warned the bridge staff.
Unable to stay seated, she got to her feet and moved forward to stand with legs apart and head up as she faced the viewscreen. Her entire attitude was one of steady confidence – this would work simply because she had decided it would.
Chakotay chuckled softly to himself at her defiance of the odds. So many times he’d watched her achieve the impossible merely because she refused to accept anything less. ‘Well,’ he reasoned, ‘it’s worked before – no reason why it won’t again.’ On that thought, he bent over his console to check the readings one more time, then peered over his shoulder at Seven who was manning the console directly behind him.
She felt his glance and looked down into his warm eyes, a fleeting smile crossing her face before she returned her attention to the panel before her.
But Chakotay had seen a lot of promise in that smile. If this should work, shortly he and Seven were going to have a lot of interesting possibilities to contemplate.
“We’ve reached the hub, Captain,” announced Harry at ops.
“Can you locate the conduit that leads to the Alpha Quadrant, Mr. Kim?” she inquired anxiously. This was the critical moment. If they couldn’t find the passage fast enough, they would have to abort the mission.
Long seconds passed as Harry worked frantically, then just as the captain was about to order Tom to reverse course, Harry gave a shout of triumph. “Got it! Tom, set a course for these coordinates – I’m feeding them to you now.”
Janeway glanced at him, then smiled ruefully at Chakotay who wasn’t even bothering to hide his grin. “Bypassing the chain of command…. Guess someone’s in a hurry to get home,” she remarked sotto voce.
As she spoke, the ship heeled over and dived into the conduit.
“Here we go,” announced Tom, as his hands flew across the controls.
Abruptly, Janeway was all business once more. “Tuvok, on my mark. Fire!”
Two torpedoes streaked away from Voyager.
At the same moment, Harry exclaimed. “A Borg sphere has followed us in!”
“Did the torpedoes hit it?” asked the captain, even as the ship was suddenly rocked hard to one side. “Obviously not,” she answered her own question. “Hold her steady, Tom.”
“I’m trying, Captain, but –” His voice broke off as Voyager sustained another hit.
“The torpedoes have successfully detonated,” announced Tuvok, “and the conduit is collapsing.”
“What about the hub?” inquired Chakotay.
“It is difficult to tell,” replied Seven. “The sensors are being obscured by debris….” She paused to concentrate on the panel, her fingers flying over it as she tried to make sense of the readings. “I don’t know.”
“Keep working on them,” ordered Janeway, even as the ship shuddered from the force of another strike. “Shields?”
“At thirty-nine percent and falling,” replied Kim, his fingers also dancing across the controls in front of him. “I’m trying to hold them together, Captain –”
“Take power from wherever you can, Harry,” ordered Janeway. “If we lose shields, it’s all over.”
Resuming her seat, she leaned over the console she shared with Chakotay, studying the sensor readings. “Just a little longer, Voyager,” she murmured, “hold together just a little longer.”
“She will, Captain,” whispered Chakotay reassuringly, “she hasn’t let us down in seven years.”
Janeway tossed him a quick smile of thanks before returning her attention to the readings.
In the noise and clamour of their passage through the transwarp corridor, for several minutes no one noticed a small rupture in the plasma conduit behind the consoles at the rear of the bridge, or that plasma was slowly leaking out. By the time Harry spotted a warning light on the operations panel behind him, the plasma had built up to dangerous levels.
“Ayala!” shouted Harry, “get back from that console! There’s a plasma leak!”
Seven, still manning the display behind the command deck, turned to grab Ayala’s arm and push him out of harm’s way. As he fell sideways, she tripped over his foot, causing her to fall onto the console at the exact moment it exploded directly in her face. Seven was thrown backwards into the railing, shattering her spine and leaving her sprawled unconscious on the floor, her implants flashing with uncontrolled energy as they short-circuited.
From his seat, Chakotay leaped to his feet and hurdled the railing to kneel beside her, feeling for a pulse. His eyes drilled into her face as he gripped her wrist, searching desperately, but even as his fingers detected a slight beat, it disappeared.
Seven was gone.
Horrified at the sight of her lifeless body, the crew stood frozen in shock as the ship began to lurch to one side.
In the sudden silence, Janeway shouted for calm, calling to her crew to look to their stations – Voyager was at a critical point and their very survival depended on them focusing their attention on the ship.
As each one turned away from the terrible sight, Chakotay smacked his hand against his commbadge. “Chakotay to transporter room one! Medical emergency! I need an emergency beamout for Seven of Nine to sickbay!”
As her body shimmered away, he rose to his feet and turned to face the captain, his face white with horror.
Janeway spoke quickly to forestall his obvious request. “Chakotay, I need you to monitor the sensor readings. I’m sorry.” But even as the words left her mouth, she realized she should have known better. Already, he was moving to take Seven’s place, although his fingers were trembling as he gazed at the console.
She shifted in her seat to look up at him, her eyes worried. “I’ll release you as soon as I can, but right now you’re needed on the bridge and focused on the task at hand.”
His throat too clogged with fear to speak, Chakotay could only nod. After a moment, he swallowed painfully and forced out words to tell her the sphere was gaining on them.
Several minutes passed in silence, punctuated only by Chakotay’s soft voice, mechanically reciting the readings until Harry announced the sphere had activated a tractor beam. Even as he spoke, they all felt the ship jolt slightly. “We’re being tractored inside the sphere, Captain,” he added.
“Hell of a way to arrive home,” muttered Tom Paris from the helm as he cut the engines, well aware that there was no use attempting to break free from the beam. Voyager simply didn’t have that kind of power.
The captain got to her feet once more, moving to stand behind Tom. “Be ready to engage impulse drive on my mark.” She glanced behind her to tactical. “Tuvok, is that last modified torpedo ready to go?”
“Aye, Captain. The torpedo is loaded and ready to launch.”
“Very good. Now we wait.”
In less than a minute, the sphere shuddered several times.
“Captain,” reported Chakotay, “sensors are indicating the sphere is under attack by weapons with a Starfleet signature.”
“That’s it!” exclaimed Janeway. “Tuvok, fire that torpedo! Harry, reinforce the shields as much as you can! It’s going to get very hot in here.”
“Yes, ma’am!” sounded Kim’s voice from ops, even as Tuvok announced that the torpedo had detonated inside the sphere.
“It’s working, Captain,” spoke Chakotay. “The sphere is collapsing. Tom, there’s a rupture on the port side that’s almost big enough for Voyager to escape through.”
“I see it, Commander.”
Janeway cut in. “Aim for that hole, Lieutenant, and go to full impulse on my mark. If we have to, we’ll punch our way through.” She paused for several seconds. “Mark!”
Immediately, Tom engaged impulse drive at maximum, angling the ship toward the hole just as the sphere exploded in a massive fireball. His eyes never leaving his course, he plowed through the debris, holding Voyager steady until she reached open space where they were faced with an armada of eighteen Starfleet ships.
Instinctively, Tom slowed their speed, his eyes focused on the sight before him, just as his crewmates were.
“We did it,” murmured the captain softly, her voice stunned, “we actually did it.” As her face broke into a triumphant smile, she turned to face Chakotay, ready to share her joy. However, one look at his pallor, the fear etched on his features, made her face slacken. Abruptly, she waved to the turbolift. “Go,” she told him.
Without a word, he hurried to the lift.
Just after he’d gone, the doctor hailed the bridge to announce Voyager’s newest arrival, a baby’s wail echoing in the background as he spoke. “Mr. Paris, there’s someone here to meet you.”
Janeway smiled. “We can take it from here, Tom, off you go. And congratulations. Tell B’Elanna I’ll be down soon to see her.”
Tossing a grateful smile in her direction, Tom trotted to the turbolift as several of his crewmates patted him on the back.
His heart pounding with excitement, Tom barreled into sickbay a few minutes later, his eyes flicking rapidly across the room in search of B’Elanna. Quickly, he hurried to her side, a huge smile bursting across his face as he spotted the tiny form nestled in her arms. “B’Elanna! Oh, sweetheart, look at her! Look what we made!” he exclaimed softly. As he caressed her cheek with one hand, he brushed the downy head of his new-born daughter. His voice fell to an awed whisper. “She’s perfect!”
Smiling tiredly, B’Elanna nodded. “She is, isn’t she?”
A low moan of despair interrupted her.
Looking up, Tom saw Chakotay huddled over the biobed nearest the wall while the doctor hovered nearby, checking readings on a tricorder. The sorrow emanating from both – man and hologram alike – was almost palpable. On the bed lay a figure, very still, a single lock of blonde hair trailing over the edge.
‘It must be Seven’, thought Tom with a sudden pang of guilt that in his delirious joy, he hadn’t spared a thought for the fate of the former Borg. Glancing at B’Elanna, he nodded towards Chakotay, a question in his eyes.
Grimacing slightly, she motioned him closer. “He came tearing in here just ahead of you. I thought he was coming to see me but he didn’t even notice me! He headed straight over there,” she indicated the biobed. “What happened, Tom?! What’s going on?!”
In a few words, he explained that there had been a plasma overload in one of the bridge consoles and Seven had taken the full force of the explosion.
B’Elanna sighed, her eyes filled with worry as she took in the miserable demeanour of her old friend. “What about Chakotay, though?” she asked, keeping her voice low. “He seems so distraught.”
Tom scratched his chin thoughtfully. “It looks to me like maybe there was something going on between them.”
“But it doesn’t make any sense! He doesn’t even like her very much!” she muttered angrily, then paused to look up at her husband with suddenly narrowed eyes. “Does he?”
“Don’t ask me, I’m as much in the dark as you.” Getting to his feet, he added, “I’ll go speak to him.”
As Tom cautiously approached the biobed, the doctor closed the tricorder with a snap, shaking his head sadly before turning to plod into his office.
Tom’s heart fell with the realization that Seven must be dead. Another loss, at the very moment Voyager had finally achieved their ultimate goal.
Even as he mourned her death, however, part of his mind was distracted by Chakotay’s evident grief. The doctor he could understand – the entire crew knew about his infatuation with her – but Chakotay? His reaction was like a lover’s, yet as far as Tom knew, there had never been the slightest hint of anything more than casual friendship between them. Chakotay was in love with the captain, everyone knew that, although Tom had to admit that in the last couple of years, the obvious attraction between the two had dimmed. But – Seven?! And their stoic first officer?! That didn’t fit at all!
As Tom moved to the side of the biobed, Chakotay sensed his approach and glanced up briefly.
Tom was shocked to see tears sliding slowly down his grief-filled face. “Chakotay?” he murmured softly, “Are you all right?”
For a few seconds, Chakotay stared at him blindly, then turned to look once more at Seven. Lifting one of her hands to his lips, he kissed it gently in obvious farewell and then laid it down at her waist. With a heavy sigh, he straightened and turned to walk silently out of sickbay.
Completely at a loss, Tom shook his head before returning to B’Elanna’s side.
“He didn’t say a word!” she exclaimed, staring at the closed doors in disbelief. “Nothing! Tom, he walked right past me as if I wasn’t even here! What is wrong with him?!” Her voice was filled with hurt and confusion.
“I don’t know, B’Elanna,” Tom shrugged.
Abruptly, B’Elanna changed the subject, her voice dropping as her eyes shifted to the biobed where Seven lay. “What about Seven?”
He shook his head. “She’s dead.”
“Oh no!” B’Elanna’s voice was filled with sorrow. “I’m sorry!” She reached to grasp his hand. “We didn’t get along very well, but…she’s one of us!”
“Yeah,” he replied before falling silent. What else could he say? Each understood perfectly how the other felt and besides, there were no words that hadn’t been said before, every time they’d lost a member of their family.
Silently they mourned Seven’s passing.
In the quiet of sickbay, the baby’s sudden wail, announcing she was hungry, jarred them both, reminding them that there was life here as well as death.
As Tom watched B’Elanna position the child to nurse, he recalled a discussion they’d had a few days earlier. “Have you thought any more about her name?” he asked, nodding towards their daughter.
“I have,” answered B’Elanna, smiling at the little head. “And I think I’d like to call her Miral after all.”
Tom grinned, a wicked glint in his eye. “Ohh, so you’ve changed your mind, Miss ‘I do not want to be constantly reminded of my mother’!”
Her smile became slightly defensive. “I know what I said but now that I’ve actually seen her, it seems to fit…better than anything else.”
He chuckled affectionately. “Then Miral it will be.” His expression grew thoughtful. “I had an idea too, about names,” he remarked. “How would you feel about Kathryn for a second name?”
B’Elanna’s face broke into a delighted smile. “Tom, that’s a wonderful idea! Miral Kathryn Paris! It’s perfect!”
Bending close, he kissed her warmly, and then brushed his lips across the baby’s head. “I think it’s perfect, too. And so is she.”
Absorbed in their joy, neither noticed the doctor when he reappeared from the science lab, until he’d approached the other biobed. His movement eventually caught their attention however, and they paused in their admiration of Miral to watch as he gazed down at Seven. His miserable expression sobered them as they remembered there were equal measures of joy and sorrow here.
After a moment, the doctor silently covered Seven’s body before turning to cross the room to speak to them. “All scans indicate that you have a perfectly healthy baby. There is no trace of the genetic defect we corrected several months ago. If you wish, you may return to your quarters. However, Lieutenant Torres, I would caution you not to do more than rest for at least twenty-four hours if you wish to make a speedy recovery.”
B’Elanna nodded.
“Very well,” replied the doctor. “Of course, if you have any concerns….”
“We’ll call, Doc, don’t worry,” answered Tom. After a moment, he added, “I’m sorry about Seven. I know you were very fond of her. We all were.”
“Indeed we were,” responded the doctor in an unusually humble tone as his gaze drifted back to the covered form on the biobed. “Indeed we were.”
For a second, Tom debated whether to indulge his curiosity before temptation won. “Chakotay seemed to be pretty upset,” he remarked, “more than I would have expected.”
Holographic eyebrows drew together in a frown. “It’s a private matter, Mr. Paris,” he snapped, “and under the circumstances, better left that way.” Abruptly, he turned and disappeared once more into the science lab.
“Oo…kayy,” muttered Tom, turning to help B’Elanna get up.
However, before he could, his combadge chirped. “Janeway to Paris.”
“Paris here, Captain.”
“Sorry to interrupt, Tom, but I need you on the bridge.”
“Aye, Captain. On my way.”
B’Elanna sank back onto the pillows with a shrug. “Never mind, we’ll be fine here.” Her mind suddenly returning to the status of the ship, she thought to ask. “What happened with the Borg, by the way?”
He laughed as he bent to kiss her. “With everything else, I forgot to tell you! We made it! We’re in the Alpha Quadrant and on course for Earth!”
She stared at him in disbelief. “You’re kidding!”
“It’s true.” He tugged a portable console across the floor to the side of her bed. “Look for yourself.” Quickly, he activated the screen.
B’Elanna gazed awestruck at the sight relayed from the bridge to every monitor on the ship. Earth loomed large before them, directly in their path. Immediately surrounding Voyager were starships of all shapes and sizes, myriad lights flashing a welcome. The fleet was escorting them on the final leg of their journey home.
“After all these years!” she whispered, “It’s almost anti-climactic, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, you could say that,” he answered as he strode out the door.
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
Some weeks later, Kathryn Janeway hurried out of the main conference room on the twentieth floor of Starfleet Headquarters. Since Voyager’s return, she had been closeted with a board of inquiry, reliving every moment of her long journey through the Delta Quadrant as her conduct was examined in excruciating detail. Despite the public acclaim she and her crew had received upon their arrival on Earth, Starfleet Command had insisted on analyzing every decision, demanding justification for every action she’d taken.
She had been kept sequestered in the VIP wing of a building used as guest quarters for visiting dignitaries. Immediately after Voyager’s arrival, Command had whisked her away, insisting she have no contact with her crew although she had been allowed to spend her first two days on Earth with her mother and sister. But once she returned to Headquarters, she had remained alone; all she’d seen of her crew were brief glimpses in passing as she was escorted through the halls.
Now, however, it was all over. Finally, she was free to enjoy her accomplishments. Not only had Starfleet completely exonerated her but Admiral Nechayev had personally offered her a promotion to admiral. Although she had not as yet formally accepted, there was no doubt in her mind that she would. An admiral’s bars were the ultimate goal, the pinnacle of her career.
As well, Kathryn’s recommendations had all been accepted. The Maquis, including Chakotay, had received pardons, albeit on probation for a period of two years during which they were forbidden to join any military organization other than Starfleet. The surviving members of the Equinox crew received dishonourable discharges from Starfleet but would not be charged with crimes against sentient beings. And all the promotions and field commissions which she’d granted were now confirmed.
‘Indeed,’ thought Kathryn as she strode across the great hall, ‘life was good and looking better.’ She was anxious to find her crew, wherever they might be, and learn how each one was adapting to life on Earth. At the top of her list was her senior staff, particularly Chakotay. They had shared so much together for so long – it seemed strange not to have him by her side now.
‘I’ll go up to Owen’s office,’ she thought, reversing her direction to head for the bank of turbolifts. ‘He’ll know where Tom and B’Elanna are and they’re bound to have some news.’
When she arrived at Admiral Paris’ office a few minutes later, she was overjoyed to find not only the admiral, but Tom and B’Elanna as well, with Miral, paying a visit.
“Captain!” shouted Tom as he swept her into a bear hug, “we just got the news that you’re a free woman!”
Laughing delightedly, Kathryn gripped his shoulders as he swung her around before setting her on the floor.
“Indeed I am,” she answered, smiling, turning to see B’Elanna’s happy grin and receive a hug from her, too.
“We were just talking about you, Katie,” announced the admiral, gripping her shoulder. “Congratulations! This is wonderful news although, of course, they had to exonerate you! You’re the heroine of the Delta Quadrant after all!”
Kathryn rolled her eyes. “Oh, please! Don’t you start!” She turned to the baby. “Look at her! She’s grown so much!”
B’Elanna lifted up Miral, saying as she handed her over. “She’s gained nearly two kilos.”
“Her face has changed,” noted Kathryn softly, “she’s lost that new baby look. Tom, I’m sure she has your nose and mouth.” She buried her face in the soft down on Miral’s head. “Oh, she is adorable!”
Tom grinned happily, wearing his new role of proud father easily. “We think so.” With a sardonic chuckle, he nodded towards his father. “And she’s certainly got Grandpa here wrapped around her little finger!”
Admiral Paris’ reproving glare at his son’s irreverence lost its force as he turned to gaze lovingly on his granddaughter lying contentedly in Kathryn’s arms. “She’s a very special child, this one,” he declared proudly, “very special indeed.”
Carefully, Kathryn handed Miral to her doting grandfather, smiling as she watched him cuddle the child.
Tom’s voice murmured in her ear. “You know, if I’d realized all it took to turn Dad into mush was a baby, I would have gotten him one long ago. Might have saved myself a lot of trouble.”
“Ah, but as he said,” chided Kathryn, “Miral isn’t just any baby. She’s unique! Besides, I’d say B’Elanna had more than a little to do with the whole process, don’t you think?”
Tom had the grace to look chagrined as B’Elanna poked him in the arm. “Just ignore him, Captain. He’s much too full of himself these days. Now, when can we get together for a good visit and catch-up? Are you free tonight? How about coming over for dinner?”
Pretending to duck under B’Elanna’s barrage of questions, Kathryn chuckled, “Goodness, yes, I am free and I’d love to come over. Just tell me where and when.”
Quickly, B’Elanna noted the coordinates on a PADD. “1800 hours – sorry.” She corrected herself. “How about around six?”
“I’ll see you then.”
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
To Kathryn’s great delight, when she arrived at the Parises’ that evening, Harry Kim opened the door to greet her.
“Captain!” He was grinning from ear to ear. “I’m so glad to see you!”
“Harry!” Kathryn opened her arms, hugging him firmly. “It’s wonderful to see you, too.”
Tom hurried forward. “Hi, Captain, I’m glad you’re here.” He paused as she held up her hand.
“Tom, Harry, I’m not your captain anymore. I’d like you to call me Kathryn. You too, B’Elanna,” as her former engineer bustled out of the kitchen.
Their mixed reactions made Kathryn burst out laughing.
Harry stammered, clearly uncomfortable with the idea; B’Elanna gave her a slightly quizzical look while Tom replied easily, “Sure, Kathryn,” as if he’d been using her name all his life.
“You’ll soon get used to it,” she told them. “Now, I want to know what’s been happening with everyone.”
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
The hours passed quickly as Kathryn heard all the news. Tom and B’Elanna’s home had become something of an unofficial gathering spot for everyone from Voyager, and they were able to fill in their former captain on the goings on of nearly every member of her old crew. It was almost midnight before there finally came a pause in the conversation and she realized no one had mentioned Chakotay.
However, at the sound of his name, a closed expression crossed B’Elanna’s face and she turned away almost angrily.
An awkward silence fell.
Realizing something unpleasant had occurred, Kathryn hesitated to probe what was obviously a sore subject but she wanted to know. “Tom, B’Elanna, what’s going on?” she asked pointblank.
When B’Elanna seemed reluctant to answer, Tom took the bull by the horns. “She’s the captain,” he declared, “she has a right to know.”
“Know what?!” demanded Kathryn, becoming more and more worried.
With a snarl, B’Elanna swung around to face her. In short, angry sentences, she related how Chakotay had turned his back on them, how he’d never come to see the baby, and never even said goodbye before he left Earth.
Kathryn stared at her in astonishment. “He’s not on Earth?! Where is he?!”
“No one knows,” answered Tom, as B’Elanna headed for the kitchen. “Apparently, as soon as he finished debriefing, he left without a word to anyone!”
“But he must have told someone!” protested Kathryn. “What about your father?”
Tom shrugged. “Not that we’ve been able to discover.”
“But it doesn’t make any sense,” she retorted, her voice trailing off as she made the connection. “Seven!” she exclaimed softly.
“What about her?” asked B’Elanna, coming back into the room in time to catch the end of the sentence.
For a second, Kathryn debated before deciding that with Seven’s death, there was no point hiding what she knew about the budding romance that had ended before it had really had a chance to blossom.
Reaction was mixed. Harry and B’Elanna were both incredulous, refusing to believe that Chakotay could ever fall for Seven, but Tom wasn’t so sure.
“Remember how he reacted in sickbay the day we got home,” he reminded B’Elanna. “It could be true and it would explain a lot, especially his behaviour since then.”
“What happened in sickbay?” interjected Kathryn.
“He was quite distraught over Seven’s body,” answered Tom. “I couldn’t understand why. I mean, we were all very sorry that she’d died just as we finally achieved our goal, but his reaction was extreme. And he never even acknowledged B’Elanna or Miral.”
B’Elanna nodded, her face tight with remembered sorrow. “That’s true. He behaved as if we weren’t even there!”
Kathryn heaved a sigh. “I wish…I wish I’d known. It was so busy right then, there was so much going on and I’d been ordered not to contact anyone from Voyager. But I should have, anyway, I should have tried to find him.
“At the critical moment, no one was there for him. For seven years, through every crisis and disaster, he always stood by us but when it came time to help him, no one did. He must have felt so alone. No wonder he left.” Her face creased in puzzlement. “But where could he have gone?!”
=^= =^= =^= =^= =^= =^=
The following morning, standing in her brand new office on the thirty-eighth floor of Headquarters, Kathryn frowned at the PADD in her hand, which contained a brief message of farewell from her former first officer.
With a sigh, she placed it on the desk and turned to stare out the window at her spectacular view. However, her thoughts were focused inward. While her question of the night before had been answered, it was leading now to many more.
“Why?” she muttered to the silent room. “Why did he leave so abruptly? Why didn’t he contact me in person? And why Dorvan? There’s nothing there.” Her frustration increased. “It doesn’t make any sense!”
But the fact remained, staring her in the face – like it or not, Chakotay was gone.
****