The five small vessels moved slowly into position, four of them surrounding the fifth in a cross shape.

"Detroit, wait for my signal."

"I'm on it, Commander," responded Freyne Detroit.

"Shields up!" Chakotay commanded. He had an open communication to the other four vessels, all type six super shuttles made for maneuverability in battle. His raised the shields of the Nagasaki, while the shuttles fore, portside and starboard side of the shuttle at the heart of the cross did the same.

"Telemetry!" he shouted again. "Detroit, lower your shields. Now!"

"Commander, they're closing in at fifty thousand kilometres!" responded Freyne Detroit as he complied to Chakotay's order. Freyne was at the controls of the Endeavour, in the middle of the cross.

"Keino, Pryce, Karan, report!"

"Shields up, Commander," Kipchoge Keino called from the Orion.

"We're ready," replied Pryce and Karan simultaneously.

Chakotay literally bristled with anticipation as he watched the three Doran vessels approach. Large and often regarded as clumsy in maneuvering, they were the heavy battle-cruisers of that race. The Dorans were highly predisposed to battle and approaching Doran space had placed the five shuttles at the risk of attack. But now, Chakotay thought, he had a major ace up his sleeve for the Dorans. They were looking for a fight and a fight was what they were going to get.

"Let's see them eat dust, Detroit. You've never seen the likes of what were going to do now," Chakotay said, positioned as he was, aft of the Endeavour, Freyne Detroit's shuttle. "They don't know what these little beauties can do, right, Cadets?"

"Right, Sir!"

"Freyne, you know what to do. In about twenty three seconds those three vessels will be in firing range. On my mark, you'll eject the plasma."

"Right on, Sir! They're approaching fast!"

They watched the three Doran vessels approach, and on his viewscreen, Chakotay grimaced at how threatening they looked. They might be battle cruisers, but they weren't fast. His men had the edge, he hoped. Somewhere in his throat he could feel the throbbing of a pulse, feel the rush of adrenaline. This was the moment he had been waiting for. He heard a signal, and seconds later a face appeared on his viewscreen.

"Federation vessels, this is Kor Seden, of the Doran Military Council. Stand down. We'll crush you."

"Not in this millennium. I suggest you stand down your weapons, Seden. We requested safe passage."

"Which we will not give you. You are in Doran Space. There is no thoroughfare."

Chakotay pressed his lips. His patience was running out. The Dorans had already decimated the entire fleet of their neighbouring planet.

"If it's a fight you want, Seden, you'll get it."

The first phaser blasts hit the Acnadia, Karan's shuttle.

"Shields down fifty percent!"

"Keep going, and fire!"

Chakotay opened fire; Karan fired from the Acnadia, followed by phaser fire from both Keino and Pryce. In the middle Freyne Detroit waited patiently for Chakotay's signal.

"Shields down sixty percent, Commander," Keino shouted, his voice sounding tense.

"Freyne, on my mark, release the plasma. I have a transporter lock on you."

In a second Freyne Detroit appeared on the small bridge of the Nagasaki. In the same instant the three Doran vessels fired on the hapless Endeavour as it released its plasma; the three shuttles jumped into warp, disappearing off the screens of the lead Doran vessel. The Endeavour exploded into a cloud of fire.

"Now, let's see what you can do, lead ship…" Chakotay whispered dangerously, his eyes gleaming. He had one photon torpedo and he was ready to let it fly.

"They're sitting targets, Commander," Freyne Detroit whispered as he watched his own shuttle break up into debris.

Chakotay fired. The torpedo aimed noiselessly for the lead ship and in the next instant, the lead Doran vessel was hit, a ball of fire following the explosion of the ship.

"Keino, Pryce, Karan, jump into warp 9 instantly, on my mark - Four…three…two…one… Now!"

As if the three shuttles just cloaked in the darkness like Klingon vessels, they vanished from sight. For a few critical seconds the commanders of the two remaining Doran ships wondered where the shuttles had vanished to. Chakotay watched the ships, no longer so threatening as minutes before. His hands gripped the controls tightly as the Dorans opened a visual.

"You have made an enemy!" shouted the other two as they opened fire on Chakotay's shuttle. Freyne took over the conn while Chakotay fired at the two vessels.

"Come on, guys, make your appearance...now!" Chakotay whispered as he silently beckoned the shuttles to return. In the next instant they appeared aft of the two Doran vessels. It was clear the helmsmen of the enemy vessels did not anticipate the shuttles appearing at their rear. The Acnadia, Orion and Pendennis maneuvered port, starboard and aft while Chakotay in the Nagasaki faced the Doran warships.

In a few breathtaking seconds, four shuttles fired furiously on the two enemy ships. In a cross formation around them, the Dorans were sitting targets.

"Fire at will!"

***

They were back on solid ground and Chakotay looked with satisfaction at the four men who made the battle a success.

"That was good going, guys."

Kipchoge Keino, an African descendant from the ancient Watusi tribe - at two metres he had to be the tallest cadet at the Academy - simply nodded. He remained unsmiling, detached, reminding Chakotay of the Vulcans. He wondered idly if Kip Keino didn't have some Vulcan blood in him. Enslin Pryce and Tor Karan, a Bajoran, smiled broadly, acknowledging Chakotay's praise.

"I should tell Tom about this, Commander," Detroit piped up. Freyne Detroit had sandy hair and he looked like a rock lobster most of the time. The sun was his enemy, Chakotay thought. Sergei had the same colouring but not to the same devastating effects it must have on Freyne. Befreckled, the young lieutenant had a certain boyishness about him, but it was deceptive. At the helm of a starship or shuttle, he was a wizard.

"Tom's stationed at Caldik Prime, Commander," Freyne added the piece of information.

The sun was high, and Chakotay shielded his eyes as he surveyed the four remaining shuttles. They would collect the debris of the Endeavour later. Then he looked at Freyne again.

"And...?

"He's the best pilot on Earth - if you'll forgive the pun."

Chakotay laughed at Freyne's words. "Tom, you said? Tom Paris?"

"Aye, Commander. He's the son of - "

"Yes, I know. Admiral Paris." Chakotay frowned heavily. Kathryn mentioned that Tom was not on speaking terms with his father.

"That's the one, Commander," Freyne replied. "We grew up together - "

"And no doubt, got into scrapes together."

"Aye. Those were good days, Commander. Good days when Tom - " Freyne paused, saw the others were looking at him. Chakotay nodded. There must have been a time when Tom Paris was still very much a boy, with boyish outlooks and boyish wishes and desires. That Tom wasn't stationed closer to home spoke volumes.

"Well, cadets, Lieutenant Detroit, the mission was a success. You'll get a good report when we return to Headquarters."

"Will we ever get to do this again. Commander?" Tor Karan asked. A Bajoran, Tor Karan was one of the few privileged to have escaped the drudgery of slave labour on his homeworld and made it to the Academy. There was something lurking in him, though. Chakotay knew that his mother had become a slave mistress of one of the Cardassian Guls. Tor's question held an element of alarm for Chakotay. The kid had a mission. He was a damned good pilot, though, one of the cream of the fourth year cadets. To hear Freyne Detroit, however, that designation must surely belong to his friend Tom Paris. He couldn't quack enough about his friend Tom.

Chakotay sighed. The Epileng Cross Maneuver was now finally accredited to him. The question remained: will they use it again?

"Who knows?" he replied. "As long as there's always the element of surprise, I'd say we'll use the Epileng Cross Maneuver again."

"Yikes! Commander, however do you think these maneuvers up?" Karan asked.

"He's head of Tactical, dummy. Commander Chakotay is supposed to do it," replied Enslin Pryce.

Keino remained dour although Chakotay knew he was the most astute of the three cadets. He indexed every maneuver, turned over in his head every tactical trick and advantage Chakotay taught them. Of the three cadets, Kipchoge Keino was the real dark horse.

"Come on, guys, let's go," Freyne Detroit said to them. "Okay, Commander?"

Pleased that the mission and maneuver had gone according to plan, and pleased with all the random parameters he had entered, Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief and said:

"Computer, end simulation."

****

Chakotay was bone tired and deeply pensive when he left the Academy buildings on his way home that afternoon. The consultations with senior staff, the day's simulations, and working with senior cadets had exhausted him. It had been exhilarating taking them through the Epileng Cross Maneuver, but the constant thinking on his feet, strategising while in mid-thought so to speak, left him slightly dizzy, so he kept shaking his head trying to dispel that feeling, but the tiredness had seeped into his bones. All he wanted to do, was to get home, soak in a tub like Kathryn just loves doing all the time, and lie in bed next to her.

Kathryn...

He hadn't slept much in the last few days; he had been sleeping with his eyes open, so to speak, to listen for the slightest disturbance in Kathryn's breathing, or the first sign that she woke up distressed from a dream she'd had. She had done that two nights in a row and he had taken her to the lounge where he sat with her, his arms wrapped around her, but never talking. Just holding Kathryn. An hour later he would walk her back to their bedroom and make sure she was sleeping peacefully before finally closing his eyes and losing himself in the half-sleep, half-awake state of lying and being constantly on his guard.

He wanted to hurry and wished that he could be at Kathryn's side in a blink. She had been discharged from hospital days ago and this morning when he left home she had been preoccupied. He didn't want to intrude, knowing how she could shut him out at times, though not deliberately as she always shared her feelings with him later. She still hadn't said much or shared much, and it left him a little frustrated. He knew, had been advised to exercise the utmost patience, but it got to him that the Kathryn who normally spoke her mind and loved to communicate openly with him, became quiet.

Now he hoped she'd be ready to talk. She hadn't done much of that in the last few days and he could kick himself that she had been on her way to Earth, in fact, in Earth's orbit when it happened; he hadn't been right there when she needed him in the first moments the pain hit her, or when it had been so severe that she had cried out his name. That information Dr Paris had given him later when it was over. Kathryn had been transported directly to Starfleet Medical where Elizabeth Paris received her patient. He had rushed from the Academy building, cancelling his classes for the day to be at Kathryn's side. He hadn't had a pain in his leg for months, virtually running all the way to the hospital.

Chakotay closed his eyes at the sight that met him in the hospital ward. He had been standing at the door, frozen for a few seconds with fear before he rushed to her side.

"Kathryn! Oh, God, Kathryn..." he moaned as he saw her pale face on the biobed with Elizabeth Paris watching the monitors carefully. He had been shocked. Kathryn's eyes were sunken, deep pools of emptiness. No tears. That's what he noted idly. Kathryn didn't cry. Her lips were dry and her voice, when she spoke, sounded desolate.

"It's over, Chakotay..."

"Oh, Kathryn..."

He wanted to touch her face, but she turned away from him, and he guessed that she must have thought she had disappointed him or failed him. They had been so happy...ecstatic.

"There'll be another baby, Kathryn," he soothed as he lifted her into his embrace.

Kathryn felt warm, but she shivered uncontrollably and he had wondered how such a strong woman as Kathryn Janeway could be so vulnerable in those moments, so bleak at not being able to control or prevent the loss she experienced. He knew his words sounded feeble, without substance, too soon for her to hear such promises. She was only just grieving the loss of their son.

Their son...

Something had given in him then, a feeling that kept on swelling until his chest felt like bursting. He had given a few dry, racking sobs as he held Kathryn close to him. Elizabeth Paris had remained in the background, moving about quietly as she monitored Kathryn's recovery. When he lay Kathryn gently back against the headrest, she had not wanted him to let go of her hand. It was the only visible sign that she felt anything, that she needed him. He stayed with her until she fell into a restless sleep, and remained with her through the night. She had been depleted of her strength when her foetus was expelled and needed to rest. In the morning he had taken her home.

He couldn't understand quite fully that Kathryn hadn't at first wanted them to inform him. She thought that she would be alright, that she'd not lose the baby. That much she was prepared to tell him. By the time he made it to Starfleet Medical, it had been over. Everything happened so quickly that both he and Kathryn had been shell-shocked in those first hours after he reached her side. It had been painful for her, very traumatic, the miscarriage something she hadn't imagined could happen to her. It never entered their minds that she could lose the baby.

Sometime during the evening while Kathryn was still sleeping, Elizabeth Paris had drawn him aside. Kathryn's fingers curled round his; she still wanted to be connected to him even in her state of sedation.

"Commander, Kathryn is very healthy," Dr Paris whispered. "It may sound like a cliché, but there is no reason why she can't have more children. She is very healthy - "

He thought how ironic that sounded. But his mother used to say to his father: "I'm pregnant, not ill, Kolopak". That was something Svetlana had been telling Sergei all the time. And Svetlana... Soon after their return she had given birth to a baby girl. Kathryn had been over the moon when they had asked her to be Irina's godmother. Chakotay eyed the doctor, his stance a little sceptical.

"But she lost the first child now, Doctor. Isn't there a risk?" he asked. Elizabeth Paris regarded him with her clear light brown eyes.

"Even in this age some women can't prevent a miscarriage of their first pregnancy, Commander. It happens frequently. Thereafter..." Dr Paris paused, her eyes getting a pensive look in them. "Thereafter, the body adapts, you know. Right now, Kathryn's body may not have been able to adapt to all the cataclysmic changes taking place in it..."

"She was very quiet, Doctor. She hasn't said much yet - "

"She's only just lost her baby, you know! But I know you'll get her through this period, Chakotay. She needs you with her right now, even if she's going to react in ways contrary to her nature..."

"What do you mean, Doctor?"

"Well, and you can take this from me: she may vent on you. You must understand it."

He had nodded to the doctor and gone back to Kathryn and held her small hand in his again. She only stirred in her sleep and gave a deep, dry sob before she became restful again. His free hand had gone to her hair and caressed it, smoothing the damp tresses away from her face. She was slightly feverish and once during the night his heart wanted to break when her hand had gone to her belly and she had given a few sobs..

She had wanted the baby.

He had wanted the baby.

He had wanted it so badly.

"It's going to be a boy," she breathed happily while still on the Crimond and communicating via subspace with him three weeks ago. Only a week before that she had informed him, her face breaking into a happy smile. She had already been pregnant six weeks, and only when she went for her monthly medical, had she been informed. She had been pleased. Surprised and pleased, had stalled knowing about the sex of the child at first until her incurable curiosity had gotten the better of her.

"Oh?"

"Yes, I wanted to know. He'll look like you, of course, so I'll pretend I'm very happy that our son will have none of my attractive features - "

"Really?" he interrupted her, feeling like he wanted to take a cigar, grip it between his teeth and smile broadly at the same time.

"Yes. He'll have my eyes of course, but I don't mind him having your dimples…" She had a faraway look in her eyes as she dreamed about their son, to be born somewhere near her own birthday. He had been so proud.

Then Kathryn seemed to wake from her reverie.

"Chakotay..." He had seen how serious her face was just before she had to sign off.

"What is it, Kathryn?" he had asked, frowning and his heart suddenly aflutter. Was something wrong?

"Our - our son. I - " She got a shuttered look and in an instant he had known what her dilemma was.

He had given her his broadest smile and at the same time his own heart wanted to burst with happiness and pride. Why hadn't he asked before? Why indeed?

"Kathryn, on my birthday in three weeks' time, will you marry me? You will make me the happiest man in the universe. It will be the best gift of my life..."

Kathryn, who didn't cry much, wiped away the tears that trickled down her cheek. Her eyes shone.

"I will be the happiest woman in the universe, Chakotay. I love you..."

*

Chakotay shook his head again when he realised he was standing at his front door. He had been so deep in thought he hadn't noticed the distance, or the short ride to his apartment. He gave a soft sigh as he opened the door.

It was quiet inside and once he moved from the small foyer into the lounge, his eyes were expectant, hungry. Kathryn was not there.

"Kathryn?" he called.

He walked into the small study just off the lounge and gave a sigh of relief when he saw her sitting at the vidcom. The relief vanished as quickly as it came to him when she didn't look up from her work.

"Kathryn…" His voice was low, filled with entreaty.

"Hmmm?"

She continued studying what he noticed was pointless data. She didn't want to look at him. He bent down and covered her hand, stop if from moving over the panels of the vidcom. Her hand stilled. Then she looked at him. Her eyes were strangely cold, not like it had been this morning when she had just that preoccupied look. What had happened during the day? He hadn't been able to call her, he had been so busy…

"Please, sweetheart, we have to talk about this," he said softly as he pulled her to her feet, gratified that she actually came with as he walked with her to the lounge.

He noticed idly little Grey Eagle perched on the mock mantelpiece, the sand painting he painted of her when he - how did he intuitively know then it was Kathryn when he had not laid eyes on her? - was still considering taking her to the concert. "Kathryn" as he called the painting now, took pride of place over the mantelpiece. Twin Eagles perched on a tiny limb he had picked up while they were still in Mexico. These things they had collected, things that cemented their happiness, symbolised their love, had joined other little things objects their house, becoming no longer Chakotay's apartment, but Kathryn and Chakotay's home.

When he pulled Kathryn gently round so that she could face him, the belligerent glare was still there. His heart sank. Dr Paris had warned him Kathryn would fight him, and now Kathryn looked ready to do battle.

"There's nothing to say, Chakotay. I lost the baby you wanted - "

He had to urge to shout at her, but kept his cool.

"Correction, sweetheart. We lost the baby we wanted. We…" he stressed.

Kathryn pulled out of his grasp, swung round to stand at window. Unlike at other times, the beauty of the scenery had no impact on him. So Chakotay walked to her and turned her so that he could look in her eyes. Kathryn looked beautiful - angry and hurt and beautiful. Her golden hair had been drawn into a ponytail which she favoured on some days, and his resolve almost crumbled. He had to remind himself forcibly that Kathryn needed to talk, that giving in now would delay the process of her grieving, allowing it to simmer in her.

Almost, he wanted to preserve the peace. Almost. Her fiery eyes and beautiful hair had to wait for him to drown himself in them.

He wanted to draw her into his arms, but she resisted.

"Leave me alone, Chakotay."

He pulled her to him, held her so that she had to look in his eyes. Kathryn glared at him.

"Leave…me…alone…" she hissed angrily.

"We gave our baby a name, Kathryn. We wanted him to have identity early on. Remember?" he asked, and only then Kathryn's face became stricken. She wanted to pull out of his arms, but he held on to her, for once glad that he was stronger and not feeling guilty about using his superior physical strength. "What was his name, Kathryn?"

Her lips trembled, and when she could control herself, she looked resolute again.

"He's dead, Chakotay. You hear me? Dead…"

"But in our hearts he's there. It's not gone, Kathryn."

"N-no. I wanted him..." she stammered. "There's nothing now..."

"Oh, Kathryn..." he murmured, feeling how the tears burned behind his own eyelids.

Then Kathryn broke free in a violent movement which she followed up by pounding his chest furiously with her fists. Chakotay remained standing, hands at his sides, letting Kathryn hit him. He didn't flinch, didn't attempt to stop her. Every blow she landed was punctuated by a deep gasp. "He's dead...dead..." she screamed at him. Still Kathryn continued to hit him until at length, the blows slowed down, lost their power; eventually she collapsed against him, gasping and wheezing painfully. Only then Chakotay enfolded her in his arms, holding her close and caressing her head, dropping a soft kiss there. The fight had left her.

"He's dead, Chakotay," she whispered tremulously. He put his finger under her chin and tilted her face.

"I know, sweetheart. But we gave him a name, remember? He had identity, as surely as if he had been right here with us."

Kathryn gave a dry sob, frowning as her lips trembled.

"I c-can't…"

"Of course, you can. Please, you haven't said anything. You need to acknowledge him - "

"J-Jaime…"

Chakotay gave a deep sigh.

"I love you, Kathryn, with or without our son," he whispered hoarsely. "We'll have other children. They'll never take the place of Jaime, understand? Never. Jaime would have been our first born. It cannot change. But he isn't with us anymore, honey…" Chakotay spoke softly, in tones that soothed. offered solace to Kathryn's battered heart and spirit. He watched how the first tear rolled, and the second, and the next. Still he continued. "And when our daughter will be born, she will know one day that there had been a Jaime who would have been her older brother. She will know that her parents could not prevent what happened. She will know one day that no one could be blamed, that sometimes things happen in our lives that are completely outside our control…"

Kathryn's restraint finally broke. The tears that had been absent so long spilled from her. Chakotay knew that she felt guilty, that she punished herself for thinking that she was weak, that she felt she had failed him. He had taken those feelings, absorbed them and placed them in perspective. Kathryn hurled herself against him and sobbed brokenly. His arms were ready to receive her again as he held her protectively in his embrace. All the while Kathryn wept, Chakotay was unable to withhold his own tears. They cried for a son they lost; they cried for what might have been.

It was a very long time later that Kathryn stopped crying. There was still an occasional shudder as a sob racked her body.

"Shhh…" he soothed as he lifted her in his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He let her down gently and she lay down on the bed, crawling into his arms when he joined her a second later. Her body felt warm and soft, almost feverish. "It's okay, Kathryn. Everything will be alright... I'm here, by your side..."

Did he imagine that she smiled again against his neck as she had done before? His own body became still as Kathryn relaxed and he closed his eyes. Even so, his hand was in her hair, loosening the ponytail from its restraint. Like that he lay, his fingers caressing her long tresses. Kathryn's breathing became even and he gave a sigh of contentment. She had finally faced her trauma, had spoken about it. There was more, but he was patient. A good start had been made. When Kathryn was ready, which he knew would be soon, she would open to him again and talk as she had done before, always with the complete trust that he would treasure her sharing.

Had they fallen asleep? Chakotay only realised that when Kathryn shook him gently. He was disoriented for a few seconds. He had been tired, had lost too much sleep since Kathryn's miscarriage. Kathryn sat down next to him on the bed. The light was at full illumination, and the room was warm. He had forgotten how cold it was coming home from the Academy. He noticed absently that Kathryn had thrown a light cover over him. She was smiling, her mouth in a gentle upward curve.

"W-what time is it?" he asked, still groggy from sleep. Kathryn's palm caressed his cheek. She kissed him lightly, then sat back.

"You've been asleep for five hours, Chakotay. It's 2300."

"That late, huh."

"Well, you arrived home tired to the bone, then you looked after me..." Kathryn's voice faltered over her last words, but he could see how resolute she was. "You looked after me, then we fell asleep."

"You cried..." He sat up, but did not touch her. Kathryn nodded, her eyes clearer now than it had been the early morning when she brooded over her loss.

"Chakotay...I - "

"I was hard on you, Kathryn. Forgive me - "

It seemed that she hadn't heard his apology, or she simply didn't take notice of it. Instead, she continued. "I - I felt inadequate. For a whole while it was as if I couldn't believe it myself that it happened to me, Chakotay..." He wanted to say something, offer her solace again, but she put her fingers against his lips. "It's not that easy to say, you know." There was a long pause, and he waited, watching her she struggled to compose herself, how she swallowed at the lump in her throat. "One moment...one moment he was there, and the next..." She was still again. "Anyway, I felt I failed you, that I disappointed you..." Chakotay nodded when she said that. He had already surmised that, but it was good that she was saying it herself. She had had a cathartic experience earlier, and now she was clearly better able to place what happened in perspective. "I wanted so badly to please you - "

"Kathryn..." he groaned. Her hand went up again. She gave a crooked little smile when she spoke again.

"Then I thought - stupidly so - that you wouldn't want a woman who was flawed..."

"Spirits, Kathryn!"

"Yes. Like being half a person, or something. Strong, together Kathryn Janeway who couldn't hold a foetus..."

The derision in her voice stumped him

"I am deeply sorry, honey..."

Kathryn's smile widened, spread to her eyes.

"If it weren't for you. I - I love you, you know. More than I can say, but this - this just threw me off balance."

"I'd say you were allowed to. It doesn't make you weak, honey, nor inadequate. Just human..."

"Just...human," she repeated softly.

Only then Chakotay touched her by drawing her into his embrace. He felt her shudder, and seconds later she sat back again.

"I - I thought... I was afraid you wouldn't want to - to -"

He gripped her shoulders, started deeply into her eyes.

"Kathryn Janeway, the day after tomorrow, when it's my birthday, will you marry me? Please?"

"Oh, Chakotay!" she cried, the tears spilling from her again as she threw herself in his arms.

**

So it was that on Chakotay's birthday, the eleventh of December 2369, Admiral Owen Paris joined Kathryn and Chakotay in marriage. Present was only Kathryn's mother Gretchen, her sister Phoebe, Sergei Karkoff and Svetlana with their children Irina and Anatoly, who shared a birthday with Chakotay. They made the trip to San Francisco to witness the happy occasion. Dalene had made her excuses, saying:

"Kathryn, sweetie, you'll never know who walked into my life!"

"Let me guess: Andreas Buccholtz?"

"He told me: 'I come as a package, Dalene Petranoff. Will it be okay?'"

"Naturally, you said yes!"

"Naturally! His daughters are lovely, Kathryn. They - they like me..."

"I'm happy for you, Dalene."

Still, Kathryn had felt a mild twinge of regret that her friend who had been instrumental in bringing her and Chakotay together, could not share in the joyous occasion.

As was the custom between Chakotay and Anatoly, Chakotay presented the seven year old boy with his gift, and Chakotay received his with a smile and an apology.

"I can't come to your party this year, squirt, but I'm glad you came to my wedding."

"That's okay, Uncle Chakotay," Anatoly smiled, "I knew you will never forget. Now we will celebrate two birthdays and a wedding!"

Chakotay laughed and mussed the boy's hair; Kathryn Janeway-Chakotay's eyes became soft as she watched the interaction between the boy and her husband. She gave a small wistful sigh, then concentrated on the others. They had been wished and hugged, feted and berated.

"Now Chakotay, now that you have my daughter, you will keep her happy. That's an order."

It was Gretchen Janeway who delivered those forceful words and all Chakotay could say was:

"Aye, ma'am..."

Only one person whom Kathryn would have liked to be there too, was Mark Johnson, who had met Chakotay several times in the last months, and who had been impressed by the tall Native American's quiet strength. He did send Chakotay a leather-bound, gold embossed copy of the collected poems of Samuel Taylor Coleridge and Kathryn received from Mark a copy of Jane Austen's "Persuasion". Kathryn had not been too unhappy that Mark could not be present, her own happiness at finally, a year after she had met Chakotay for the first time, marrying the man of her dreams.

Because Kathryn was still recovering from her miscarriage and advised to intimacy only after a few weeks, Chakotay had been perfect. They had lain together in their bed, Kathryn snugly fitting in the crook of his arm and nuzzling her nose in his neck. He had whispered how much he loved her, and although she was in dress uniform for her wedding, she looked extremely beautiful. He had gasped and struggled to breathe when she came in to stand next to him in the small chapel at Headquarters.

She whispered again how much she needed him and clung to him in desperation for several minutes. Both remembered the child they lost, but both knew that one day, their union would be blessed with another baby.

"It will be a girl," he whispered to her earlier.

"You're very certain of that, Chakotay," Kathryn said, unable to keep the mirth from overflowing. Her eyes shone, she was happy and her delicious little moans when nestling in her husband's arms, told him how happy she was with him.

Later, much later, Chakotay had risen from the bed and walked to his dresser. He smiled inwardly when he looked at all Kathryn's personal items lying there. It was no longer his. In his drawer, the bottom one - Kathryn claimed to top one for her - he took out a tiny box.

Kathryn had been sitting up in bed by the time he walked back. She was curious.

"I - I wanted you to have this, as my wedding gift to you, sweetheart," he said quietly.

Kathryn pushed her hair behind her ear and then took the box from him. When she opened it, she gave a soft gasp. Slowly, she lifted the gold locket from the box, its fine chain dangling from her fingers.

"It's beautiful," she exclaimed when she saw the intricate drawing of an eagle on its shiny surface.

"Open it," he said softly.

When Kathryn looked at him, her eyes were filled with tears.

"I thought it would be a memory, Kathryn, of past and present," he whispered.

She nodded, and held the open locket to him so that both of them could look at the inside.

On the left, was a little heart with the name "Jaime", and on the right, another heart with the name

Hannah written on it. Kathryn looked at him, a query in her eyes, though not to its intent, but the source.

"It is my mother's name..."

She nodded and held the chain to him. She turned so that he could fasten it. For this night at least, Kathryn Janeway-Chakotay was going to sleep with her children around her: one who had no chance at life, and one who would one day fill her heart again.

"I love you, Chakotay," she said quietly, her words issuing from her lips like a vow.

***

Grey Eagle put down his sculpture and rose from his seat. The day was dreary, and the sky filled with grey clouds. It was not the clouds, or the sudden breeze that sprang up, or the icy cold that made him draw his blanket tighter around him.

In the sky, hanging just below the grey clouds, he saw the eagle, majestic in flight as she dipped and hovered. Then another eagle had joined her; together they danced in the air, in perfect harmony.

Even though the sun did not shine, Grey Eagle still shielded his eyes as he watched the magnificent birds fly towards the hills in the distance.

Did they not see the vultures who followed them as they ventured into the unknown?

***

END CHAPTER TEN

EMAIL

J/C FANFIC