CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

Near the Demilitarised Zone - March 2372

"Captain, three vessels off our starboard bow," Tom Paris said without looking back to where Kathryn Janeway was standing. Eamon Carey had also risen from his seat to stand next to her.

"Acknowledged. Harry?"

"One hundred thousand kilometers, Captain. They're closing in on us - "

"Captain, they're Cardassian vessels. One of them is the Vetar," added Magnus Rollins. Kathryn nodded grimly. Chakotay had given them the specs of the Vetar and already, Magnus had scanned the vessel.

"Harry, open a hail to the Endeavour," Kathryn ordered. When Harry complied, Captain Berrol Oldimar's face appeared on the screen. "Captain, one of the three Cardassian vessels is the Vetar, commanded by Gul Evek - "

"Understood. We're right behind you, Captain Janeway," he responded with a grim smile. "Oldimar out."

"Well, Captain?" Eamon Carey asked. "We know where to target the Vetar..."

Kathryn nodded, closing her eyes briefly and silently thanking Chakotay for giving them so much intelligence about the Cardassian warships. They just had to hit their targets right the first time to disable the vessels.

"Bring us in closer, Tom. They can't hide behind that cloud forever..."

"Aye, Captain!"

Kathryn thought Tom sounded enthusiastic, ready for battle. Voyager was his creation, or most of it anyway and he knew the vessel from bow to stern, knew where every gel pack was located, and was intimately familiar with Voyager's capabilities.

She sat down again, her hands on the armrests of her chair. In a minute they would be closer to the Vetar and the other two vessels. It was the only downside of their attack -  they had to come in close to lock on to the area of the vessels where their enhanced phaser banks were located.

"Captain, we're being hailed by the Vetar," Harry said quickly, and Kathryn noticed that Harry's voice sounded nervous.

"On screen!"

"Ah, Captain Janeway!" Evek said as his face filled the screen. "If you've come looking for that infidel Chakotay... Let's say he was a model prisoner, Janeway. A model prisoner..." There was a malicious gleam in Evek's eyes, which perhaps meant more to Kathryn than the others on the bridge about what Evek could mean by that. From the Badlands, where they took Chakotay prisoner, to Cardassia Prime...the journey was about a month long. "Ah, I see you know what I mean. You're on dangerous ground, Janeway."

"No more than you are, Evek," she responded bitingly. "This is war..." She wondered if Evek knew that they were removing the prisoners from Cardassia.

"Indeed it is," he replied, and suddenly the screen went blank.

"Rollins, our other vessels - "

"Ready, on your command, Captain."

"Captain, one vessel off our port bow. They're firing!"

"Evasive manoeuvre Omega 3!"

The next moment, Tom deftly moved Voyager so that the fire only strafed her port bow.

"Target the Vetar. Lock on to her phaser banks!"

"Done, Captain."

"Fire!"

Kathryn felt a thrill go through her as she stood behind Tom Paris. A photon torpedo headed directly for the Vetar and hit her secondary hull. The next moment the vessel was rocked by a series of explosions as her own torpedoes imploded. A ball of fire lit up the area.

"One down."

"Oldimar!"

"Got it, Captain," responded Berrol Oldimar from the Endeavour. Torpedoes from the Endeavour and the USS Volga fired simultaneously, and in the next few minutes, the other Cardassian vessels were also rocked as their own torpedoes exploded and destroyed them.

"Thank you, Captain Oldimar," she said, her throat thick with emotion as she looked at the debris floating about them.

"Our pleasure, Captain Janeway. Evek is dead. He'll not trouble us again..."

Kathryn breathed a deep sigh as she returned to her command chair. Eamon leaned over to her.

"Are you alright, Captain?" he asked her.

She looked at him, for one second only allowing her heart to bleed. She patted his hand.

"Yes...yes, I'll be alright. You have the bridge, Eamon..."

Eamon Carey nodded. Kathryn rose and quickly made her way to her ready room.

"He's dead, Chakotay...Evek is dead...and we still have to find you..." she murmured softly.

In her chair behind her desk she leaned back against the headrest and closed her eyes. Evek's words cut through her, words that dripped with malice. If she thought about it, Evek looked exactly the way Sedeka had looked when she crowed about her conquest of Chakotay. Kathryn gave a little moan of distress; a sob followed. Evek didn't have to say anything more than what he’d insinuated. Chakotay had spent a month on the Vetar, a month in which... Kathryn gave another groan.

Now, one hundred prisoners were abandoned on a planet patrolled by the Jem'Hadar. Evek was gone, his vessel destroyed. The last stand of Cardassia was at an end. Back in Federation space, the final battles were being fought and the Federation gaining the upper hand at last. Even the Dominion seemed to have reached an impasse. Still, there were always the odd few, who refused to believe that they were losing, or that the war had ended, and harboured the idea that they should still fight and defend themselves. Evek and his trio of Cardassian warships were among the last to be destroyed. The signs of defeat were everywhere around them. The last prisoners who were on Cardassia were to be dumped on an alien world and left for dead... It was so consistent with the way past wars had been waged, when the aggressors, sensing defeat, destroyed all evidence, abandoned the concentration camps and left men and women and children, already defenceless, to die.

It was a spineless act, a cowardly principle that made the enemy flee when defeat was at hand. The only thing that could be said in defence - if indeed it was a final statement that there was something honourable in the enemy - was that they did not kill the prisoners outright. Could it be that the doctors - butchers who thought nothing of maiming for the sole purpose of deriving sadistic pleasure in seeing a prisoner scream out in pain finally somehow remembered they were physicians, and allowed honour and the preservation of life to motivate their actions?

If that were so, who was the lone Cardassian doctor who sought to have the prisoners located away from Cardassia Prime in the hope that they might be rescued by the Federation? If they found the prisoners on Jarok alive, who was the doctor who had saved their lives?

Chakotay is dying, Captain...

Ken Dalby's words. If Chakotay were dying, what was the prognosis for the ninety nine other prisoners? She knew Chakotay, a warrior imbued with the great nobility and preservation of life of his people; he would not lie down and go willingly if he knew that others' lives depended on his own will to live.

If he died...they died.

He would fight to remain alive. She knew that, sensed it deep inside her. The first time she met him was on their blind date, before he was injured. Boulders had fallen on him in the mine shaft of Moldor IV. He had been cynical about his own injuries, writing them off as an irritation he could live without. But she knew him, and even then, he had suffered those injuries so that the others on that away team could survive.

There was no reason to believe that Chakotay wouldn't do the same for his fellow prisoners now, even though he himself might be gravely injured.

Thoughts of you, Kathryn, will keep me alive...

Kathryn opened her eyes, surprised to find her cheeks wet. She looked at their pictures. Chakotay, now with his tattoo, smiling his dimpled smile, and one with Hannah and Winonah... While Hannah had laughed into the imager at the time, Winonah's face had been grave, and the little smile she managed was just enough to light up her face. Kathryn touched the glass with trembling fingers.

"I'll not fail you, Chakotay..." she whispered.

*****  

"So, doctors," Kathryn addressed Sergei Karkoff and the holographic doctor. "You know what to do. We have a hundred prisoners, and because Voyager is the smallest of the five vessels, we will take only fifteen patients. The rest will be beamed to the other vessels. We've brought along auxiliary medical personnel to deal with the influx. We are assuming that all prisoners will have some degree of injury - "

"Captain, I've prepared four stasis chambers, just in case..." Sergei replied.

"Good. We have to prepare for any eventuality - "

"Captain," the EMH started, "I believe that the prisoners may have been infected with a virus of some kind - "

"What?"

"Doctor?"

Kathryn and Sergei responded simultaneously to the EMH's startling theory.

"I have been programmed with the medical knowledge of three Cardassian doctors, Captain. One of them is still alive on Cardassia Prime. It is something I believe they may have done. In that case, the prisoners are all suffering very high fevers..."

"Then it is critical that we get them out of there, Doctors," Kathryn said, her heart suddenly pounding at the EMH's revelation. They had never thought of it, although she should have known it was something the Cardassians would do. She should have known...

"On the assumption that it is so, I'll prepare enough anti-serum for all five vessels, Captain, Doctor Karkoff," the EMH said.

"Do it."

"Thank you, Captain. I'll need two science officers to assist - "

"It will be arranged."

The EMH moved away to another area of the sickbay where he prepared to set up a small laboratory.

Kathryn turned to face Sergei.

"It's a great risk, Kathryn," Sergei said softly.

"I know. We have to get past the Jem'Hadar, preferably disable all their vessels so that we have a clear passage on our return."

"We'll succeed. If only to get Chak punching me in the gym again.'

Kathryn had to smile. Sergei had sometimes sparred with him in the gym while they were both serving on the Ormskirk.

"He'll do that, Sergei. I only hope we are not too late - "

"To get all of them out alive, you mean."

"Yes. Well, you have your orders, Sergei. We're about three hours away from the Falrak Dwarf System. All Captains have been briefed."

She turned to leave.

"Kathryn."

She swung round.

"Chakotay will like your new hairstyle."

She smiled, felt something lift from her, a great weight that had bogged her down.

"My guess is, Sergei, he'll fume for a few minutes first, then accept it in good spirit..."

****  

On the bridge of Voyager, three hours later

Karan Tor approached the conn and Tom Paris smiled as he allowed Tor to take over from him.

"Ready, Tom?" Kathryn asked as he walked towards her.

"Aye, Captain."

"Good luck, Mr Paris."

"I'll need it, Captain," he said, as he walked quickly to the turbolift. Kathryn stood up and stared at the main viewscreen. The other four vessels were ready. They had all gone to red alert and were waiting on her command.

"Mr Rollins?"

"I expect the first Jem'Hadar vessel to appear in fifteen seconds, Captain."

"Good. Gentlemen, this is it. Let's give it our best shot."

Then suddenly, as if it just shot out of the nothingness of the black space three Jem'Hadar vessels appeared. Kathryn's heart thundered. Her hands felt clammy. She turned a glanced quickly at Harry Kim, who nodded imperceptibly before opening communication.

"Captain, Tom Paris has just left in the Delta Flyer," Rollins said, and even as he spoke, Tom positioned the Delta Flyer so that Voyager, the Charleston, the Endeavour, commanded by Berrol Oldimar, and the Ohio surrounded the Delta Flyer. The fifth Federation vessel, the Volga, commanded by the Klingon captain, was nowhere to be seen. It was the only vessel fitted with Klingon cloaking technology, for their present mission only, and they needed at least one vessel to remain unscathed during an attack in order to break through the net of the Jem'Hadar.

"Good. He'll be a sitting duck. Now, all he has to do is fire the first salvo and release the plasma..."

"You are in violation of Jem'Hadar territory," the Commander of the lead ship said. "Stand down your weapons."

"I think not. The Falrak Star System is under Cardassian rule - "

"Therefore, ours," replied the Jem'Hadar curtly. "I repeat - you will be crushed if you do not stand down weapons."

"I'm touched. I thought you would have fired by now," Kathryn retorted. She was standing in the area between the conn and the command chairs. Kathryn stole a glance at Eamon Daley, who nodded grimly.

Kathryn signalled to Harry and the next moment there was no audio.

"B'Elanna is ready to engage the transporter on your signal, Captain."

"Good."

Kathryn hit her commbadge.

"Voyager to Paris."

"I'm ready, Captain."

"On my mark, fire, then release the Flyer's plasma. That should confuse the Jem'Hadar for about ten seconds. All vessels, on the alert!"

Kathryn saw only the mouth of the Jem'Hadar commander move. She raised a hand.

"Tom, now!"

Tom fired a furious salvo at the lead Jem'Hadar vessel, before releasing the plasma. In the second following all three Jem-Hadar fired at the dead-in-the-water Delta Flyer.

"B'Elanna, have you got him?"

"Aye, Captain. Not a moment too soon," B'Elanna Torres replied as they watched the Delta Flyer explode.

"On my mark, maximum warp, now!"

Four Federation vessels engaged maximum warp and before the Jem-Hadar could respond, they were gone, leaving only faint ion trails. Ten seconds later, they reappeared, surrounding the three Jem'Hadar vessels. Kathryn gave a satisfied nod when the Volga, fitted with a Klingon cloaking device, also appeared. Now the enemy vessels were in the centre of the cross.

"Fire at will!"

They opened fire, and one by one, the Jem'Hadar vessels were destroyed. There was no time to rejoice. They still had to contend with two more Jem'Hadar, but Kathryn thought they'd keep a safe distance, now that their back-up had been eliminated. Five against two Jem'Hadar...she was in a better position to negotiate now.

Tom had entered the bridge meanwhile, and Karan Tor rose from the conn to hand over to him again. The two pilots smiled; Tom indicated Tor remain at the conn, then turned to Kathryn.

"That was a mighty fine shuttle we destroyed there, Captain."

"All for a good cause. You'll be building a new one - "

"With new specifications. I'm already on it, Captain."

Kathryn shook his hand.

"Thank you, Tom."

"You're welcome. Captain, if it is possible, may I be on the away teams for Jarok?"

"Any reason, Tom?"

"I had a friend, Captain. I grew up with him. Six months ago, he was listed missing in action - "

"Freyne Detroit?" Karan Tor asked as he turned in his seat.

"Yes. Do you know him?"

"We were senior cadets who trained under Captain Chakotay. That manoeuvre we just did, Captain Chakotay devised it."

"Freyne wrote me about the Epileng Cross Maneuver."

"Well, Tom. If he's there, he is hopefully still alive."

"He has no family, Captain. My parents...sort of adopted him when we were kids and he lived with his grandparents. They died just before he entered the Academy..."

Kathryn nodded.

"Captain, we'll be in orbit around Jarok in one hour..." Magnus Rollins said.

"Noted. I'll be in my ready room. Eamon, you have the bridge."

"Aye, Captain."

*****  

Kathryn almost collapsed in her chair as she sat down in her ready room. Only now did reaction set in. She had no wish to kill, but they were at war, and her vessel was engaged. If threatened, she'd do what she could to protect her crew, even if men like Gul Evek had to die. They gave no quarter and would receive none. Now, Gul Evek was dead, and they had destroyed three Jem'Hadar battle cruisers.

Head in her hands, she sat for several minutes and waited for the shivering to subside. At last, when she felt she could get up from her chair and walk without feeling that her legs would buckle, she rose and went to sit down on her couch. Seated in such a way that she could see the dark expanse, she closed her eyes again, feeling a sting of tears as she thought of the prisoners they still had to rescue.

She had no idea at all of the nature of their injuries and illnesses, and although the EMH had warned her that they may have been infected with an alien virus to cause slow deaths, even that she could only imagine.

She missed Chakotay. Only now, when the pressure of fighting and command had been relieved a little, could she allow her thoughts to dwell on the man who had given her so much of himself, who had sacrificed so much and who suffered like no man could ever be asked to endure. Was he waiting for her the same way Winonah had waited, until a familiar face arrived?

It was difficult to cry. She had no more tears left, and only a deep echo resounded. Chakotay, a man, a husband, Maquis, Federation officer, would have wanted her to be strong, and strong she was, defending him and his principles with a passion she thought she'd never have, until she met a man who was willing to lay down his life for another and for a cause he passionately believed in. What greater honour could be bestowed on such a man, who asked for nothing but that he be respected for what he stood for, and what he fought for and what he loved with his very breath?

They had made a child together, and God help her, Hannah was going to grow up with her Daddy around, who would dote on her and who would, through his own example, imbue their daughter with the finest qualities of man and officer he was. Now they had Winonah too, just like the rest of her family and the rest of Starfleet Command and indeed, the rest of the Federation, her little girls were waiting for the homecoming of one hundred men, commanded through the most extreme adversity by Captain Chakotay, her husband.

Not for glory, not for honour, but for the simple dictum of the very ideals of the Federation, that life at all costs be preserved, would Chakotay receive his rewards.

What was war? An exercise of planetary expansion and extension of empires? The expression of ideological differences? Didn't they know that empires, when built on the innocent lives of men, women and children, were just as fragile and just as vulnerable to breaking and collapse as the finest thread that held them together? Then, what could one ask? Why did it have to happen in the first place? When all about was lying waste, decimated to the point that nothing could spring from its soils anymore, was that what the war was about?

Kathryn Janeway gave a deep sigh. In a very short while, the small armada would be entering the orbit of Jarok. In the cargo bays, and in the medical bays, all ships were preparing for their precious charges.

Walking back to her desk and unable to relax completely, Kathryn picked up the photograph of Chakotay.

"I made Winonah our daughter, Chakotay, just like you asked. Now all you have to do is watch her grow up..."

*******  

Kathryn stood on the bridge of Voyager looking at the planet that filled the viewscreen. Jarok, D-Class planet of the Falrak Dwarf Star System, almost hidden in the Demilitarised Zone. She had to thank the informant who had braved life and limb to give Ken Dalby this information. Not only had he given the co-ordinates, but also furnished information about the number of survivors to be taken to Jarok.

"Captain, there are one hundred lifesigns on the surface," Magnus Rollins said formally. "All are grouped together, it would appear, in the same locality. Southern Hemisphere."

She turned away from the screen and took a few brisk steps towards the upper level of the bridge.

"All away teams, report to the transporter rooms."

She nodded to Tom Paris who rose from his seat. Karan Tor took over the conn while they headed for the turbolift doors. Magnus Rollins, relieved by Ayala, also joined them. In the turbolift Kathryn hit her commbadge.

"Janeway to sickbay."

"Go ahead, Captain," the EMH responded.

"You have stasis chambers ready, Doctor?"

"Two in sickbay and two in cargo bay 1, Captain."

"Good. Janeway out."

"Captain..."

Kathryn looked at Tom whose eyes showed for once deep concern. The old smirk was gone and he looked serious.

"Yes?"

"We'll get them all out safely."

"We will," Magnus Rollins replied succinctly.

"I hope so," she said softly. "I hope so..."

She reminded herself firmly that she couldn't lose control, that she had to present a strong front to her officers and not let them see how worried she really was. She feared for Chakotay's life. The time they had taken to travel to Jarok... They had been informed that Jarok was the place where the prisoners were brought, but how long had they been there? Two days? More than that? These questions had plagued her the last two weeks, two weeks in which she agonised over the fate of her husband, not knowing how he looked, or what physical condition he was in. Chakotay was a strong man, but his strength might have been tested beyond his endurance, day after day as a prisoner of the Cardassians.

By the time they exited the turbolift, Kathryn had regained her composure.

They were met in the transporter room by the medical staff and other crew appointed by Sergei to assist. They needed virtually all hands, Kathryn realised, as she greeted Sergei. They were solemn, each one caught up in his own thoughts. Their team would be the first to beam down.

Kathryn nodded to the transporter chief.

*

A brief displacement; and a second later Kathryn and the other four drew in their breath sharply as the air hit their lungs. The sun beat down on them, and the air shimmered as they looked in the distance. They had beamed down about a hundred metres from where she could see the group of men were located.

Kathryn moved, her heart beating faster and faster. She hurried, not running, but it felt as if her feet carried her like a breathless doe to the first tree, where she saw a man lying a little away from the main group. She didn't heed Sergei's concerned calls, or the others who followed her example and hurried along with her. Something buzzed in her head for a few agonising seconds as her consciousness pushed away everything around her leaving a vacuum in which she existed only with one man, a man who was on the brink of death, a man who was the very breath of her existence.

And if it breaks?

Why, we'll just fix it so it will never break again...

Did her movements slow down after that? Afterwards, she could never quite decide, she imagined that if she saw herself in an imager moving towards the man lying on his back with one hand raised as if he were reaching for her, it would be excruciatingly slowly, a motion suspended, then continuing again slowly, until her destination was reached.  

He lay on his back. One hand rested on his chest, the fingers loose, over the locket she had given him a thousand years ago, it seemed to her. The other hand lay outstretched. Chakotay looked desperately ill; his lips were dry, his skin pallid, and even though he wore tattered loose fitting trousers, she could see how misshapen his legs were. His eyes were closed and he was barely breathing. Kathryn knelt down beside him and in wonder she saw him raise his hand, saw his tired eyes open and his lips start to move.

"I waited...for you...to come, my Kathryn..."

Chakotay gave a sigh that rose from deep inside him as he said the words. Then his eyes closed even as Kathryn's hand reached for his.

"Chakotay...Chakotay?"

"He's slipped into a coma, Captain," came Sergei's voice. Kathryn looked up at the doctor and nodded, feeling relief at the same time that Chakotay didn't stop breathing. She held his hand in hers, while the other hand covered his on his chest.

"He has a very high fever, Sergei."

"Much higher than acceptable levels, Kathryn," Sergei said, while he scanned Chakotay. For a few seconds he worked without saying anything. "We must deal with the fever first. He is dying."

"Sergei?"

Sergei didn't respond to her as Kathryn cradled Chakotay's head on her lap. Instead, he hit his commbadge.

"Karkoff to sick bay."

"Voyager here. What can I do for you, Doctor?" the EMH asked.

"Prepare to put our first patient in a stasis chamber, Doctor."

"I'm ready."

"Sergei?" Kathryn asked again, as Chakotay was engulfed in the transporter beam.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn. Chakotay has so many injuries, he should have been dead months ago. I can't believe he's still alive. Some of the injuries date back about five months. They never bothered to reset all his broken bones."

Kathryn turned ice-cold at Sergei's words, as he rose and walked quickly to the rest of the first group.

"Are you telling me that they - they - "

"Deliberately broke every bone in both legs, Captain. Fragments, worse than it was the first time his leg was like this. But that is the least of Chakotay's problems. He's been infected with a virus. He's dying, Captain. We have to keep him in stasis until we get to Federation space, and just work at bringing down his temperature."

Kathryn nodded, still too stunned, not daring to burst into tears as Chakotay was beamed to Voyager.

Bringing her churning emotions under control, she and Sergei reached the others. Most were awake, but groaning or lying quietly. Tom was speaking to a prisoner; Kathryn presumed it was Freyne Detroit.

"Not to worry, friend. You'll be right as rain and in no time you can wheedle those chocolate chip cookies from my mother again."

"I'd like that," replied Freyne, wincing as he moved.

Tom looked at the shadow that Kathryn cast as she stood next to him.

"Captain, Freyne Detroit."

Kathryn didn't recoil as she looked at Tom's friend. Much of his face looked ravaged, as if Cardassian doctors cut away flesh and left him to rot away.

"Is - is it over, Captain?" Freyne asked, his voice slurring.

"Yes, it is. We're taking you home...home..."

"Thank you..."

***********  

Kathryn looked at Voyager's EMH and Sergei Karkoff in turn, before, her eyes stole to the stasis chamber in which Chakotay lay.

"We're working to bring down his temperature first before resuming treatment, Captain," Sergei said.

"And the other three are ready to be awakened. They were the most susceptible to the B7-27 virus, although their temperatures didn't cause the paralysis that it has in Captain Chakotay."

Kathryn nodded, too mute still to offer any comment.

"Prognosis?" she asked in a thin voice.

The EMH cleared his throat.

"There is every chance that Captain Chakotay will recover fully from the virus. It's the injuries to his legs that your Doctor Karkoff here tells me will take some time." The EMH gave a little snort.

"It's the same drill as four years ago, Kathryn, unfortunately."

Kathryn gave a tired smile. Chakotay hadn't been the most exemplary of patients when his leg had taken so long to heal after his fall down a mine shaft on Moldor IV. He had given everyone grief at the time. They were just getting to know one another and Chakotay had been a real bear, testing her patience, then apologising profusely afterwards.

"All the patients except Captain Chakotay and Freyne Detroit have recovered. They've been allocated cabins."

Kathryn looked at the biobed where Freyne lay. He was sleeping, but earlier, when he was awake, he had called her.

"Captain, your - your husband...Chakotay..."

"Yes, what is it, Freyne?" she asked softly.

"He kept us all alive, Captain. Swore he'd kill me if I didn't live..."

"That sounds like something Chakotay would have said, Freyne."

"He looked after me even when he - " Freyne paused, casting his eyes to the stasis chamber. "He suffered worse than any of us."

Kathryn had closed her eyes on hearing Freyne's words. The list of Chakotay's injuries...No man should have lived.

"He'll make it, Lieutenant."

Freyne had breathed a sigh of relief, then closed his eyes. Already, the EMH had worked on Freyne's face, regenerating skin that had been cut away. He was breathing normally, his skin tone now healthy. A lone tear escaped and rolled down his cheek,

"Thank you, Captain..."

Kathryn turned her attention again to the EMH and Sergei.

"It seems that they organised themselves into smaller groups, each one with a leader, Kathryn. Just the kind of thing Chakotay would have done."

"I understand. He and Captain Gredor were the highest ranking officers of the group." Kathryn frowned. "I have a book that belongs to an Ensign Waldorff..."

"Yes. Waldorff is on the Volga."

"I'll see that the Rubáiyát is returned to its owner. Chakotay... The Rubáiyát was his favourite book," Kathryn replied, her eyes drawn to the stasis chamber as she said the words. Chakotay's face, drawn and pale, looked strangely peaceful. But, he wasn't out of the woods yet.

"I know. Captain..."

"Yes?"

I’ll be going offline for the next forty-eight hours, as your intrepid engineer, B’Elanna Torres, rigged me to do. Doctor Karkoff here will oversee your husband's treatment."

"Doctor, thank you. We really needed all extra personnel."

"Glad I could help," the EMH replied. The next moment he was gone.

Kathryn walked to the stasis chamber, her hand resting on the glass pane through which she could see Chakotay. His rising temperature had been arrested just in time, and over the next few hours they were gradually reducing it to more acceptable levels. He would still have the fever when he came out of stasis; he'd only then be given the antiserum to the drugs everyone had been injected with on Cardassia Prime. Chakotay's hair had grown long; he had lost almost a third of his original body mass. Convalescence was going to be protracted. It had taken him a long time just to recover fully from his broken leg before Now, with both legs shattered... Kathryn shook her head. She wanted to weep every time she looked at his face. She wanted to touch him, to let him know or sense through the feel of her hand on his brow, or just caressing his hair away from his face, or resting her hand on his chest, that she was there with him, that all his tribulations were over. She could only imagine how unbearable the pain must have been, when they drove spikes through his bones  simply to test his tolerance for pain. She had no words anymore for what the Cardassians had done to him and all the other prisoners. Fifty two had died, one hundred managed to survive despite the utmost cruelty. Kathryn gave a sigh. She has not had any sleep for almost forty eight hours, but she wanted to stay with Chakotay; she didn't want to break the connection of her hand just resting on the clear panel of the stasis chamber.

She didn't want to leave him. There were so many assurances she wanted to give him...so many... Kathryn was hardly aware that a hand rested on her shoulder.

"Kathryn, you should rest - " When Kathryn sounded a protest, Sergei gently moved with her towards the sickbay doors. "You need all your strength. Once you've had some sleep, I'll call you the moment we're ready to wake him up..."

Kathryn looked up into Sergei's concerned eyes.

"Not a moment later, Sergei," she said, trying to smile. "Not a moment..."

****  

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Kathryn smiled when both children competed to touch the vidscreen, Hannah pushing Winonah out of the way, and a second later Winonah holding Hannah so that both could look at her.

"When are you coming home, Mommy?" Winonah asked, giving Kathryn one of her rare smiles.

"One more week, sweetie."

"And is Daddy coming home too?" she asked.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Hannah clucked.

"Mom! Are these two ever going to give me a chance to talk?" she asked Gretchen Janeway.

Kathryn heard Gretchen's voice, although she couldn't see her mother. The girls filled the screen, just wanting to leap at her.

"Be prepared, Kathryn. Adam and I have our hands full with these two. Hannah is running on pure energy..."

"Is Daddy coming, Mommy?"

Kathryn sighed, touched the screen before she replied, "Yes, honey. I'm bringing Daddy home. He's very, very sick, okay?"

"Can Daddy talk?"

Kathryn gave a wan smile. Winonah was comparing Chakotay's trauma with her own. She had been mute for a whole year, and probably thought Chakotay would be too.

"Yes, he can, Winonah. But he's still sleeping, so he can't talk right now, you understand?"

Winonah nodded her head sombrely.

"I made a drawing for him, Mommy."

"That's very sweet of you, honey. When we come home, you can show it to him, okay?"

"Oh, yes!"

Then Gretchen's face appeared and a pair of hands relieved her of Hannah who had been sitting on her lap. Kathryn only saw Adam Ponsonby's face briefly before he disappeared with the children. Gretchen looked at her for a few moments, a silent assessment in which her face became tinged with concern.

"Out with it, Kathryn."

"Chakotay is in very bad shape, Mom. Nothing that can't be corrected, eventually. But healing will be a long process - "

"Tortured, I guess?"

Kathryn nodded. She had read the PADD with Chakotay's reports. It was a harrowing ordeal, months in which they never let him sleep, rest, eat properly; months in which they prodded his body, drove spikes through him when he was still fully conscious. How much pain did he endure? Chakotay was still in stasis; Sergei thought to keep him there for a short while longer. It had been almost a week, and anytime now, Chakotay would be transferred to the biobed, where they could finally inject him with antiserum and start working on repairing his broken bones.

"Kathryn..." Gretchen's voice broke into her reverie.

"I have him back, right?" Kathryn whispered in a hoarse voice.

"He'll be among family. We're all waiting for our heroes to come home, Kathryn. Chakotay will bask in the surroundings of home, and getting to know his little girls."

This time a tear rolled hotly down Kathryn's cheek.

"He looks so ill, Mom...so ill..."

"He's a fighter. Just you wait and see. Very soon he's going to be the grumpiest patient on Earth."

Kathryn smiled through the sheen of tears.

"Goodbye, Mom."

"Take good care of the Federation's son, Kathryn..."

When communication closed, Kathryn stared for a long, long time at the Federation insignia.

Son of the Federation. They were giving him now what they had denied him for so long. It was  a gesture that fleetingly filled her with bitterness. She thought of the time his father made representation to the Federation, a plea backed by the son who took up the cause of Dorvan V and that of so many homeworlds, denied the right for defence by the same Federation that wanted to decorate men and women who died fighting a cause. A Federation who wanted to honour and acknowledge now, when it was a little late, the work done by men and women like Chakotay, who believed in what they were doing. Chakotay lay in Voyager's sickbay, oblivious of the Federation and its ideals, fighting for his life, fighting to stay alive for his family.

Sighing, she rose from her seat at her desk. She had opted to take her mother's communication in her quarters where could have the privacy of her cabin. The children looked excited; Winonah smiled more, her eyes were alive and expectant. They were well cared for by her mother and stepfather; Phoebe and Rodea had taken them to Paris to stay for a few days. Winonah was adapting and fitting in with the family, becoming close to Phoebe who was impressed with Winonah's ability to sketch.

Kathryn sat down in Chakotay's easy chair and leaned back against the headrest. It was late evening, and she had spent most of the afternoon in sickbay, touching the stasis chamber and wondering when he'd open his eyes. The quiet of her quarters enfolded her. She thought of the times she had sat with him when this very easy chair had been on the Crimond, and they shared so many intimate moments when they talked of their future, of the children they'd have one day.

They were still a week away from Earth; hopefully, Chakotay would have made some recovery by then.

All the other former prisoners on the other vessels had recovered from their ordeals, and only a few would have to convalesce when they arrived home. The mission had been successful. The success of it gave her little pleasure when she saw the condition the prisoners were in. It was a sick testimony to the cowardice of the Cardassians, who fled the scene when they knew they were losing the war and fighting the final battles. She had been very bitter when she informed Admirals Paris, Ponsonby and Lewis that the Vetar under Gul Evek's command had been destroyed. Evek was gone, and so was the last vestige of everything that had driven a wedge between husband and wife, a wedge that had been calculated with extreme malice to the last detail. No more would she and Chakotay be troubled by the likes of Gul Evek. No more would she see the gloating looks, the derision with which Evek crowed his victory over a helpless man.

Kathryn gave a sob, then quickly rose from the chair. It was late and duty started again for her at 0700. Although Eamon Daley had cheerfully indicated he'd command Voyager until they got home so that she could sit with her sick husband, she knew that her presence on the bridge was important. Crew like the former Maquis, others like Freyne Detroit, who was able to walk around unaided, were waiting for news of Chakotay.

Lying down in bed, her hand stole to the pillow beside her. Sighing, she closed her eyes.

Very soon, Chakotay...I will lie in your arms again...

*******

Kathryn was on the bridge when Sergei Karkoff hailed her. She had already replied by the time she reached the turbolift doors. Heart racing, she made her way to the sickbay, cursing inwardly that it took so long to get there.

For the last twenty four hours, she had been waiting anxiously for Sergei's hail and had been unable to sleep much. Some periods of deep depression followed by a high elation that Chakotay was at last safe on her vessel, had marked the last few days since he had been brought on board. Only this afternoon, she had again visited sickbay in the hope that his condition might have improved to the point that he could recognise her. Sergei had warned that there might be a certain amount of brain damage as a result of the high fever he’d endured for two days before they were rescued. She had been right in her assumption that Ken Dalby's contact had known the exact day that the prisoners would be taken from Cardassia Prime, and that Voyager's appearance in the Falrak Star System would almost coincide with the arrival of the prisoners there. Again, she had given it a lot of thought, that possibly a Cardassian doctor had been prepared to release this information to someone whom he could trust to get intelligence to Starfleet Command. Chakotay and the others had been on Jarok no more than a day and a half.

Kathryn shook her head as she exited onto the deck of the sickbay.

This afternoon, Chakotay's colour seemed to have improved, though it couldn't be possible, since all functions of his body had been halted while Sergei and the EMH worked at bringing down his fever. He might still be in a coma when she arrived, but it was better than nothing. It was better than her frustration and despair whether she would ever see him alive again. When he had been taken prisoner on the Vetar, she’d had a blind conviction knowing Cardassian manner of atrocities, that she would never see her husband alive again.

Many times in the last six months, she had been wracked by intense guilt that she had let him down, that she’d failed him when he needed her most. Perhaps, in retrospect, her feelings had been compounded by the fact that once before, she had also been a helpless witness to her father and Justin Tighe dying before her very eyes. It had taken long, too long for human understanding in matters of grief and guilt to let go of those feelings that had plagued her for years. And so, six months ago, watching Chakotay dissolve in the transporter beam, she had again been wracked by guilt that she had been powerless to stop Gul Evek from capturing him. The only light in her dark tunnel in those days had been two things, two thin, golden veins that weaved through her consciousness and  even in her darkest hours kept her hope flaring high. Those things were his words, "Thoughts of you will keep me alive" and the very fact that he’d sacrificed his life and freedom to save more than two hundred crew that day. It didn't prevent her from plunging into the depths of despair from time to time, but the thought that he was alive somewhere for her, time after time dragged her towards the light that beckoned at the end of the tunnel.

Now, she could face her husband and tell him that he was safe, that Winonah was safe and that they were waiting at home for him.

She could tell him that she never gave up hoping that she'd find him again.

The doors to sickbay opened and Kathryn, her heart racing, was surprised to find Chakotay already out of the stasis chamber and lying on the main biobed with Sergei and Iliana Madred in attendance.

"Sergei?"

"We've managed to bring down his fever, Captain," Sergei responded matter-of-factly. "The EMH has already injected him with the antiserum. He's sleeping, I'm happy to say.

She felt like bursting into tears at Sergei's words and the Vulcan nurse stepped to one side to allow her to stand next to the biobed.

Chakotay's colour had improved dramatically and when she touched his cheek with the back of her hand, it didn't feel like it was burning the way it had when she touched him down on Jarok. Then he had just enough strength to say her name, and that he knew she'd come. Kathryn closed her eyes briefly, allowing the touch to suffuse her being, ripple through her body that remembered the feel of his skin beneath her fingers.

"Chakotay..." she whispered as she sat down in the chair next to the bed. The dome was up and Sergei was still monitoring Chakotay's condition.

"I had to break his legs again, Captain, and reset them. He was walking like a cripple for months, I guess, since the Cardassians never bothered to fix what they broke." Sergei's voice sounded bitter, and looking up at him, Kathryn saw how angry Sergei was. His face was reddened, the freckles darker than usual. Then he clenched his jaw, and continued without referring again to the Cardassians. Instead, when he spoke, he looked a trifle calmer. "Naturally, when he gets home, he's going to give all of us hell and demand that he walk without crutches..."

"I thought he might have to use those again," Kathryn said softly, her hand caressing Chakotay's cheek.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," Sergei said, "but it might take a while for Chakotay to achieve full recovery."

"He'll have his family around him, Sergei. His family and all his friends who believed he'd be back with us and who helped find him." Her voice was warm. Chakotay would know what his friends had done for him.

Sergei turned redder, a little embarrassed at Kathryn's praise and gratitude. He nodded to the nurse and soon, she busied herself with another patient.

"I guess it would be futile to order bed rest for you, Captain?"

"It would be futile," Kathryn said, smiling sadly, but resolved to keep a vigil through the night.

Sergei returned her smile, then prepared to leave the sick bay,  Nurse Iliana remaining to keep an eye on the patient..

So Kathryn stayed and the hours passed. Chakotay slept peacefully and it brought tears to Kathryn's eyes. She read the PADD that was given him by Lieutenant Anderson. The torture methods had been such that his body was in a constant state of restlessness, that not even exhaustion was enough to let him rest. Most of the other rescued prisoners slept round the clock for the first twenty four hours after they were treated and given cabins on Voyager and the other Federation vessels. Chakotay, even though he had been in stasis, still needed to sleep and allow his body to achieve tranquillity again. He'd have much less pain than he’d had before which would be a major factor in his recovery.

"Oh, Chakotay... We're finally together," she whispered into the quiet of the sickbay. Her  fingers brushed lightly over his cheek. "I missed you so. We have Winonah, Chakotay. I made her our daughter and you know what she asked? She wanted to know if her last name was going to be Janeway. She said she’d never had a last name. So what do you think? Was it a good idea? I think it was. Winonah is happy being a Janeway, and very happy being Hannah's older sister..."

Chakotay remained impassive in sleep. Kathryn sighed, thinking that she was impatient for him to wake up, but she knew that it was better if he woke up naturally. Then again, he could sleep as much as he wanted to, couldn't he? Only thing was, she would have to keep the children from making too much noise when they got home for she knew they would want to be with him constantly.

"We'll live at Indiana for a while," she continued. "We were always so happy there. We'll sit under our tree where you carved our names one day. Remember when I said it was foolish to do it, we're not teenagers? You said our hearts were young, what the heck, we live only once... That's what you said."

This time Kathryn imagined she saw a movement. Was Chakotay waking up? She sat forward, one hand caressing his cheek and the other resting against his shoulder. Not for the first time she wondered what was going on inside his head.

Sighing, she put her head down, for she was tired. She'd only close her eyes for a short while. A short while... Maybe when she lifted her head again, Chakotay would be awake and he'd look at her with hungry eyes. His skin felt so cool to the touch now; it was a very good sign. There'd be no after effects of the virus the prisoners were infected with. A thick fog descended on her, engulfing her in darkness. Did she lift and drift down into the depth of that dark chasm?

Through the fog she heard her name called. At first it was soft, like a question, then it became firmer, as if the voice recognised her and was coaxing her to listen to it. Did it tell her to wake up? Her body was heavy with sleep, unwilling to disengage itself from the cobwebs that kept it captured. But the voice persisted, and slowly, her body complied. She felt stiff, and she lifted her head slowly through the drug-like sleep. Why was it suddenly light now?

"Wha-what time is it?" she asked, blinking, disoriented for a second.

"I wish I knew, Kathryn..."

Chakotay's voice.

Her eyes flew open; she was suddenly wide awake, her hand still strangely enough against his head and the other pressing into his shoulder. Chakotay's eyes were open, his head turned in her direction. His lips were parched, but his eyes were alert. He was looking at her, recognising her; he was even smiling a little.

Her eyes welled up, and unable to stop herself, her tears burned down her cheeks. Her hand flew to cover her mouth, but it was too late to prevent the sob that rose from deep inside.

"Don't cry, Kathryn..."

"Chakotay..." his name was wrested from her. "Oh, Chakotay..."

Then she leaned her head against him, her tears soaking into him. He couldn't touch her, but his face nuzzled her hair, her neck.

"Captain."  

It was Nurse Iliana Madred who stood next to her. When Kathryn sat up, loath to relinquish her touch on Chakotay, Iliana let the dome slide down into the sides of the biobed. Kathryn nodded her thanks and Iliana's lips merely pulled into what Kathryn thought was a smile. Chakotay's hands were now free and Kathryn felt his palm against her cheek.

"It's good to see you, Kathryn..."

Her hand covered his and her cheeks were tear stained.

"I missed you so much," she whispered. "So much."

"Is - is it over?" he asked, grimacing as he tried to move his legs.

"We're going home..."

"Home... I dreamed of home, often..."

"Just get better, will you? Just get better."

"Hannah?" Chakotay's eyes were on hers, and she thought they were hungry eyes, eager to hear any news from home.

Kathryn smiled through her tears; another sob followed.

"Hannah is talking and saying 'Daddy'. Oh, Chakotay, we - we found Winonah..."

Chakotay tried to lift himself from the bed, then winced and closed his eyes, slumping against the headrest. Kathryn, concerned that he was in pain, rose from the chair, but his grip on her wrist was surprisingly strong. Beads of perspiration had formed on his brow and when she seated herself again, Chakotay let go of her, but only to grasp her hand in his. His breathing was laboured, coming in low gasps.

"Tell me," he said with eyes closed.

"She was safe in the care of a Cardassian woman called Penytt Sarra on a planet called Kodari."

Chakotay's eyes opened.

"Cardassian..."

"You were right..."

"There were dissidents."

"Yes."

Chakotay opened his eyes, the fever in them a manifestation of his hunger for news and assurances.

"You made Winonah ours?"

"She had only two requests," Kathryn said with a smile. "Her Uncle Chakotay must come home, and her last name must be Janeway. She - she calls me 'Mommy'..."

Chakotay nodded and gave a deep sigh; he lay quiet for several minutes while Kathryn tenderly caressed his hand, sometimes bending over to kiss his cheek.

"Gul Evek..."

Eventually, he was going to ask. She had always imagined that when Chakotay returned to her, returned home, that Evek would be an issue Chakotay would raise when he was well on the road to recovery. It was an underestimation of the first order, she thought ruefully. It had probably been on Chakotay's mind all the time, a festering sore that had to be cleaned right away.

"He was killed in a standoff with our fleet."

"You killed him?"

"Voyager destroyed the Vetar," Kathryn said quietly. A tear rolled down Chakotay's cheek. Kathryn felt like crying with him. Their old foe was beaten at last, his ship destroyed.

"Then I must tell you, Kathryn...on his ship they...used...me..."

The words came heavily from him, a difficult admission, even more difficult to tell her. She saw Chakotay's throat work, saw him swallow, more tears rolling down his cheek. She had always suspected that was part of the torture regime, always knew that in the month the Vetar spent travelling to Cardassia from the Badlands, that Chakotay would be subjected to that manner of abuse.

"You left Voyager unarmed, Chakotay," she whispered. "You couldn't defend yourself. Whatever happened was out of your control - "

"I tried..."

"You're free, Chakotay. Free."

"Yes...yes, I am... Let's go home..."

Chakotay was asleep before she could reply. Kathryn felt a strange shiver running down her spine. Something in the way Chakotay spoke, his tone when he mentioned Evek, filled her with disquiet.

But they were going home, she thought. Chakotay was going to recover; his soul would heal and they would be a family again.

A family.

************  

END CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT