Itsumademo Ai

LoneGothic666: This is my first Dir en Grey fanfiction, and it would be nice if you go easy on e-mails. This story will be in Kyo’s POV ^0^ he is, after all, my favorite vocalist from DeG! Minus Toshiya *grins*

Warnings: T.T this story rating PG-13 for language and possible lemon in later chapters ^_^ this story also has to deal with male/male relationships, so if you don’t like it, fuck off!

Prologue

I wonder what it’s like to love. Love had never been a part of my life, and I never plan to love someone. The reason for this is because I had never been in love and I’m planning to keep it that way. I mean, who would want to love a scary, dark, evil looking person as me?

It’s because you don’t know me. Hell, I don’t even know myself.

Sometimes I would ask the same question that had been in my mind for ages: “Why am I here? Why had Kami placed me on this earth? Why was I born in this world full of pain and betrayal?”

It was always the question why, and I did not have an answer to those questions. Maybe Kami wanted me to suffer every little bit of my life, and for that, I will not forgive him. Ever since I was a little child, I had been abused, hurt, and betrayed by the ones I thought I loved.

Now I think back on the life I had once had, even though I do not like look back at the past, I laugh. Now I understand why Kami had placed me on this earth, so he could indeed watch me suffer.

I’m surprised that I’m even alive to this day. Given the self-confidence from my band mates, I am able to hold on and carry out my pain to the world. And that would be music. Music is my life, and I cherish every living part of it. Even if the fans don’t understand what is being said, at least I could tell them, through music what I have been through.

I love my fans, even though I do not say that out loud to the public; but I keep them in my heart and they give me self-confidence when I am on stage, singing my heart out.

That was when HE came along.

Our lovely sexy bassist: Toshiya.

I’m not sure how it started or how it happened. It just did.

After our concert was over, Toshiya had come to me, seeking my advice. This was something interesting. He was blushing heavily as he talked to me. I always though that he had a crush on Kaoru by the way the Toshiya looked at him. Sometimes, I even got jealous.

“Kyo?” Toshiya stammered.

I placed my palms together, as I rested my chin on them. My eyes never leaving Toshiya’s face as his lips, coated with black lipstick as it moved.

“Yes Toshiya. What is it that you want?” I was surprised that my voice wasn’t harsh as it had been when someone came over and bothered me. Normally, I liked my own privacy and to think.

“Um…”

I could hear Kaoru talk to a random staff member about their concert and how it went.

“Um…”

I sighed heavily. This was just like Toshiya, always forgetting what he was going to say. He looked down at the floor and shuffled his black leather booths. My patients were wearing thin. The Dir en Grey members knew how my temper was, and how angry I can get so easily.

“Toshiya. If you have something to say, than say because I’m not going to stick around here forever listing to you stammering,” I hissed under my breath. I didn’t mean for it to sound harsh.

I watched a pain flash across Toshiya’s pale face. He looked up at me, biting his trembling lip. I forgot how sensitive Toshiya could get. He whipped the corner of his eyes with his finger and smiled at me.

I wondered what he was planning.

“You amaze me Kyo-kun. You really are,” Toshiya answered.

I stared up at him with widen eyes. He said he wanted to talk to me, and this is all he wanted to say?! How confusing!

He took something out of his pocket, grabbed a pen from the vanity where I was going to take off my make-up. He wrote something down quickly on the piece of paper and shoved it my chest, hard.

I looked down at the piece of paper and than looked back at Toshiya who was already at his vanity taking off his make-up. I begun to unfold the piece of paper and read it.

Kyo-kun,

Meet me at my apartment tonight at 8:00; I have something very important to talk to you about.

Love,

Toshiya

To be continued….

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