| What is a Booty Call? Booty call -vb 1: the act of calling or contacting a person for the sole purpose of having sex. n 2: a person that is the recipient of such a call. Here is a sample: I am in a relationship with this guy who never calls me except late at night after he has been out partying. Then he is so sweet and tells me how much he wants to see me. The next morning he is a different person, cold and in a hurry to go. But a couple nights later, he turns into a sap again. What do you think is going on? --Confused Dear Confused, I'm not sure what you want out of this relationship, but it sounds to me like you are just his booty call. That means you are someone he keeps around for those extra horny moments when either his girlfriend is busy or he has no one else to call. Those late night calls are nothing more than booty calls sweetie. For those who are unfamiliar with the term, a booty call is a last minute call from someone who only wants you for one reason and one reason alone. It is generally after midnight and very often driven by alcohol consumption. If done before midnight, you have got one horney bastard on your hands. *** Things to look out for: The pro-booty call motto: If you want to eat the cookie, you're going to have to put your hand in the cookie jar. A booty call works both ways, not just when it suits your needs. Sometimes you might have a woman or man climbing up the walls waiting to meet up with you, but doesn't know how to ask without feeling guilty. Signals Touching your arm, touching your knee, long eye contact. If they can't keep her hands off you, then they are probably aching for some good old-fashioned body contact. Dirty Talk Initiating a raunchy conversation, or describing their secret sexual fantasies, is their way of saying they want to play with you. Ambiguous requests Asks for favors with no specific details like, "Can you come over, I have something that needs to be fixed?" -- bring clean underwear along with your plumbing tools. Because of the intimate physical contact, it is very easy for an individual to confuse romance with carnal desires, which, in turn, can terminate the arrangement altogether. This is why booty callers need to established a set of guidelines in order to prevent such confusion. Both parties should agree and abide by the rules. Although booty calls are basically a godsend considering there are no strings attached, the repercussions exist nevertheless. Too many people let their guard down and assume that just because they've been with the same partner for a while and think it's okay to skip the condom on an odd night when the moon is full. Big mistake, my friend, big mistake. So without further ado, here are the rules that will maintian order and prevent any misunderstandings. THE PRE-BOOTY CALL AGREEMENT (The Classic Standard) This pre-booty call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the ("Agreement") is entered into on the _____day of _________, 200? by________________, between___________and__________. THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES: 1. No sleeping over unless it is very good and we need to repeat it in the morning. 2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening. 3. No calls before 9pm. We don't have shit to talk about. 4. None of that "love making shit," only mind blowing sex allowed. 5. No emotional discussions, (i.e., "where are we heading with this? Do you love me?") The answer is NO, so don't ask. 6. No plans made in advance, unless you are from out of town. 7. All gifts accepted; money is always good. 8. No baby talk, however, dirty talk is encouraged. 9. No asking for comparisons with former lovers. It's really none of your damn business. 10. No calling each other "friends with privileges," We are not friends, just sex buddies. 11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK. Don't be offended. 12. No extra clothing. I don't want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave. 13. No falling asleep right after sex. It's over, so get your ass up and go home. 14. You cannot borrow my car for any reason. 15. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be "My roommate's girlfriend" 16. Bring your own drink, I am not your liquor store. 17. No phone use please I don't want anyone calling back looking for your ass. The aforementioned rules May only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this agreement,it will automatically be NULL AND VOID, and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and become DELETED from phone memory and E-MAIL list. In other words, you will be blocked from all communications until your dumbass understands the rules. Participating Party #1 Signature_____________________. Date____/____/____ Participating Party #2 Signature_____________________. Date____/____/____ After coldly dealing with the rules of the booty call cycle that my last a week, a month, a year, quite a few years, or perhaps a whole lifetime, one realizes that expressions of personal connection between yourself and another person is the one human need that was missing the whole time. Confessions of a reformed booty caller: Here is a song by JOE, “dont wanna be a player no more” who has also wants to give up the booty calls. Im switchin up my whole lifestyle. I dont wanna live the way I used to. Im givin up the booty calls spendin c's at the drop drop halls. No leavin with the 2 or 3 girls who hit me off. See all I need is one whose really down; someone to turn this players life around. Girl I feel like you could be the one to make the difference in my life cause Im tired of livin trife. Dont wanna be a player no more. I think I found someone that can live my life for. Im yours, you know for sure. [Isn't that sweet?] |
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| :Booty Call 101 |
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