Hard Days Night My eyes opened slowly as the repetitive beeping continued drilling into my foggy brain. Turning over, I noticed it was already nearly ten. "Great, slept through the alarm again," I cursed, forcing myself to leave my comfy bed. Shuffling blindly across the floor, I made my way to the bathroom. Reaching the sink, I managed to splash cold water on my face trying to wake up. I glanced up into the mirror of the medicine cabinet with my bleary eyes. There are times I am really glad I don't have a reflection. Still, waking up late meant there was barely enough time to get ready for work. I had been hoping to do some online shopping. To me, the Internet is a godsend. I honestly don't know how other daylight challenged folks, as Tina likes to call us got along without it. "Oh well," I mumbled to myself, deciding to make the best of it. "At least I got up early enough to grab a quick drink from the fridge and check my email." Perhaps I should back up just a bit. First off, I am what you all call a vampire, you know undead and such. Just let me say the movies and books got it all wrong, well mostly anyway. For one thing, we don't hang out in graveyards sleeping in dirt-filled coffins. I mean really. I already have back problems as it is. Nor do we live in big castles, yeah I wish. At least I've got a nice small rent controlled apartment. It's not much but its better then some. Pulling a bag from the fridge, I noticed that my current stock was running low. I was almost out of type A, my personal favorite though some prefer the tangy taste of B. Now don't get all grossed out on me. I don't go around biting people, well almost never. I usually get it from hospital orderlies. Why do you think there is such a shortage of blood these days? If you ask me with the prices those guys charge, they're the real bloodsuckers. Waiting for the microwave to heat up my breakfast to the right temperature, I turned on my computer to begin checking my email. Just as the computer sprang to life, I heard a series rapid beeps indicating my meal was ready along with my coffee, got to have my caffeine. Taking both coffee and liquid breakfast out of the microwave, I started to look at my email. There was letter from Tina who I mentioned earlier for some new project or other. Her and her husband had been activists in what we call the other life and they kind of carried that over to this one too. Personally, I don't think people are going accept the undead as a minority, the whole blood drinking thing as a tendency to disgust people. Their latest rally slogan was Vampires are people too. They also kept urging the rest of us to go more public so people can get to know real vampires. Like we don't have enough cross-wielding stake waving morons running around trying to waste us? There was also a note from Mona inviting me to join her and Jeffrey at Mel's for a quick drink. Mel's is a local vamp hangout. Pretty much, like any other bar except our bloody Marys are really bloody Marys. Sorry a little vampire humor. I guess you could say Mona was my best friend these days, though we did kind of have a rough start after she bit me, took me awhile to get over that. I met Mona at a local sports bar. We shared a pitcher and watched a hockey game together. She was easy to talk to and we seemed to have a lot of things in common. Guess that was why later when we went back to her place she tried to get friendly, if you know what I mean. I had to explain that I just didn't do that sort of thing. Why do people always get that idea? I mean okay so I like sports, I am a sports writer actually. What if I don't wear make-up and prefer an old t-shirt and jeans to a frilly dress. I mean hello, it's the twenty first century, get a clue. But then I am getting off track again. Anyway, Mona doesn't take rejection very well and next thing I know she is burying those long canines of hers in my neck. When I woke up to find my canines had gotten longer, to say I was upset would be an understatement. Mona felt real bad about it though, and apologized continually. She told me she had Reflex Biting Disorder, or 'RBD', and was seeing a shrink about it. After I got over the initial anger and shock, Mona and I started get along just fine. She turned out not to be bad person really, just kind of lonely. Not that I can blame her if you think it's hard to meet someone now, you should try the unlife sometime. The pickings are really slim. She also introduced me to Jeffrey, another ok fellow. Jeffrey was a drag queen in the other life and a whiz with make-up and hair. Which is good, since he can do mine on those rare nights I do get dressed to go out partying. Trying to get ready is hard to do when you can't see yourself in a mirror. We've all become good friends, along with Gina but she is another story entirely. The vampire thing isn't all that bad and I can do most everything I did before. Well, I don't play football in the park anymore. Not that I couldn't find players, but these days if a bunch of folks were rolling around in the park at night they would be arrested in a shot. Glancing up at the clock I noticed the time was getting short, gulping down my breakfast, I hurried to get dressed. I really couldn't afford to be late again. I quickly rummaged through my wardrobe. Most of my business clothes were getting a little worn. Personally, I don't see why I can't just wear jeans and a tee, like there is anyone there at this hour anyway. Then again, that's what I get working for such a conservative type paper with an archaic dress code. Finally settling on a tan suit, I threw on my clothes rushing out the door taking one last gulp of the blood before rushing for my car, grabbing the mail in my box, trying not to be late yet again. Luck was with me. My old Escort actually turned over the first time. I sped out of the garage attempting to make up time. Screeching into the parking lot, then jumping out of my car I dashed for the door. Jack one of the Norms I work with, Norms are what we call humans by the way, was just walking out of the door as I rushed past. " Late again Maggie," he said with a wide grin. " Its that damn alarm clock," I growled, I was not in the mood to engage in his usual game of innuendo. I was ready to bite someone's head off, literally. " If someone was with you that wouldn't be problem." He shouted back. The idiot couldn't resist making at least one moronic comment. I wouldn't give him a tumble when I was alive, let alone now. If I had to live with him for all eternity, I would stake myself. I bit my lip refusing to comment, making straightway for my desk. There were a few late breaking scores on it along with some information on the games that had just ended. Most of us on the night shift do the grunt work, making sure the scores get out. There are no interviews or anything juicy like that. Speaking of juice I was really looking forward to meeting the gang at Mel's. I decided to check my mail to relieve the boredom. Most of it was the usual stuff, flyers and bills. I made a mental note my car payment was due in five days. One hand-written letter though, caught my eye. The scrawling was crude and had no return address. My curiosity piqued, I opened the letter. Inside was a note with same scribbling on it. " Foul demon," the note began, not the most flattering greeting. " Prepare to pay for your evil deeds soon you will be sent back to hell." The note was signed with some corny sounding vampire-killing name. "Great, " I thought to myself, " now I've got one of those lunatic vamp hunters on my back." I wondered how he had gotten my address let alone knew I was a vampire or life disadvantaged, like Tina insists on calling us. Speaking of Tina, I suspected she was at fault here. She had a nasty habit of sending her flyers through email without using any kind of security, making them easy to trace. Ever since that vampire show aired, there have been a score of jerks and geeks thinking they are saving the world from evil, I mean really, get a clue. I have never been to hell, I don't even believe in the place. While I do have a temper, I am not evil, bent on destroying innocents and all that drivel. I am just a working stiff like anyone else. Then again, stiff might apply to us even more. Tossing the note down in disgust, I decided I really needed that drink now. Seeing as how most of my work was finished, there was little reason not to leave early. After all, I actually got here on time for once and that should count for something. I was walking to my car thinking about one of Mel's famous Bloody Marys when this skinny kid dressed in black wearing a heavy coat approached me. He wore a pair of those black horn rimmed glasses you usually see the geeks in movies wear. From the looks of his brown hair, I guessed he didn't own a comb, or didn't know how to use one. " Margaret Taccianlli," he said in a high tenor. I didn't like to be interrupted on my way to the bar and I hate being called Margaret even more." "Yes," I answered in an annoyed tone. " Prepare to face you fate fiend," he announced dragging out the biggest crucifix I had ever seen. It didn't take a genius to figure out this was the guy who sent me the letter. Not that the crucifix had any effect on me. Not sure of the particulars but the best I can figure out the symbol that holds a vampire at bay has to do with the religion they had prior to entering the lifestyle. I myself was a practicing Wiccan and not many would-be hunters carry pentagrams around. " Trying to convert me?" I asked with an amused smile. " I thought you types just bothered people at home and no I don't want a subscription to the 'Watchtower'. The poor kid kept trying to shove the cross at me, unsure of what to do next. "Look it's a nice cross but I really need to be going. Better luck with the next person who comes along." The guy dropped the crucifix figuring it was a dud or something and pulled out a water bottle splashing the contents in my face. It's a good thing I don't wear make-up. I guess this was supposed to be holy water or some other such nonsense. " Now I am getting pissed," I growled wiping the water from my eyes. " I'll give you one chance to get the hell out of here or I am calling a cop." Of course, I could have just killed him right now but I am a congenial sort, I don't like killing if I can avoid it. In response, the young man turned with a look of disappointment to leave. Suddenly he spun around thrusting out a mirror. Without thinking, I smacked the thing out of his hands, but not before, he got a look of my reflection or lack of one. " I knew it!" he exclaimed, " You are one of the undead just like in the movies. I've been tracking your email for months now." I made a note to give Tina a stern lecture on the value of security when this was all through. Then before I could say anything, the guy pulled out a sharpened wooden stake. Now that could really hurt. Fortunately, the kid had slow reflexes and I had no trouble grasping his wrists and applying enough pressure to make him drop the stake. " Shouldn't play with dangerous toys," I remarked. " So I suppose you'll suck me dry and make me member of the legion of the damned," he grimaced holding his injured wrist. " Oh get real," I sighed, " I am not a member of any legion. I am just a regular person like you, with maybe one minor difference that's all." " You mean you are not going to kill me?" " Look kid if I wanted to kill you would've been dead already. I don't like killing and I don't like drinking blood from living victims. Trying to get blood out of the veins plays havoc on the throat." " I thought vampires were the ultimate evil? He said somewhat bewildered. " First off," I began in a tired voice, " if I was this great evil, you think I'd put up with a suck job at this backwater paper and living in a small dingy apartment? I think an earth shattering evil could come up with a better deal." " Then you aren't an evil fiend from the abyss," he said staring at the ground, " the books and the movies got it all wrong." " You finally get it," I remarked, " no diff then you hon at all. Now why don't you be a good boy and run along." " I see, " he replied shaking his head. The boy drew out a small revolver from one of the large pockets in his coat. "I see you tried to fool me with your lies. You are a blight and must destroyed." The boy emptied the revolver into me. In hindsight, I shouldn't have lost my temper but after all, this was one of my best outfits and he had just filled it with bullet holes. The boy was in total shock as I launched at him sinking my long fangs into his throat. I drained him enough to cause him to pass out. We have enough jerks in the community already. I didn't want to add another. I tossed his body into the trunk and headed for home. The evening at Mel's was cancelled I couldn't very well walk around in a suit full of holes, another thing that just added to my anger. I mean silver bullets, really get a life. You would think he would research a little bit more, that only works on werewolves. Upon reaching home, I rushed up the stairs to avoid being spotted. Not that anyone here would ask too many questions but I don't like taking any chances. Once inside I took off the ruined suit. " Damn," I muttered to myself noticing he had also shot up my best bra. It's hard for me to find one that fits right online. This had not been a good night. Picking up the phone I gave Gina a quick call, chances were good she was home. " Hello Gina," I said pleasantly, " how are things going?" " Yes I know it's that time of the month, real rough for you." I said sympathetically. " Listen the reason I am calling is a I got some guy in the trunk of my car. He attacked me if you can believe that. He even shot me with silver bullets." " Yeah," I laughed, " the smuck didn't know that was just for werewolves. You're right it was a good thing you weren't there." " Anyway," I continued trying to steer the conversation back to the topic, Gina will talk all day if you let her. " The key is in the usual place if you want to come get my car and take him out to the woods where, well you know." " You will?" I said thankfully, " Oh Gina you are a lifesaver, yes I know you need a fresh one anyway, but thanks for the help." I then quickly excused myself out of the conversation, like I said Gina can talk forever and I was tired. I still needed to apologize to Mona for not making it to the bar Perhaps I haven't mentioned it before, but Gina isn't a vampire like me, she's a, werewolf. Then that's another story and its late or early depending on your point of view. |
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