The Wisdom of Verafides
A Continuing Saga of Discovery and Intellectual Acheivement
An un-dated Picture of the man himself
An Introduction From Web-Master Bob
Welcome to the Website dedicated to the Man, The Mystery, and the Menace that IS Verafides. This is the nexus of his intellectual Fort Sumter - complete with Marauding rebels fit to run their Johnny-Come-Lately flag up the flag pole of his intellect. In fact, you may safely call this site either the Rivendell of electric Home-Page creativity, where the disparate masses of truths are assembled into a Digital Venus d'Milo, or a chicken coop filled with uncommonly large rabbits. But bear in mind that Rabbits are indeed sensitive animals, and prone to frightening.
Life is good.
- Webmaster Bob
(June 14, 2003)
The Pages of Distinction
Here you can find a page devoted to each topic which has held Verafides' considerable intellectual capacity entranced at some time during his storied life - all authored by the living Legend himself. Read on, and be enlightened my children!
The Truth about the World Trade Center
A Paper Devoted to Man-Butt Theory
An Introduction to Cow Semantics
Modern Math Proves Women are Inferior
ENTPs are The Best Personality-Types
The Truth about Meat and Where it Comes From
The Wisdom Clown's Uncommon Powers
Guest Commentators
Although it may be a surprise to some of you, the Great Man is open to comments from various elements of his readership, provided their opinions are entertaining, well-thought out, or are accompanied by a $50 bill. In some of these cases, they had to up it to $100, in order to compensate my legal department for the extra paperwork.
Cogar The Guardian Fiend Responds
Hans wants to Save English from the Jews
The Great Unwashed Respond to Verafides
A Fundamentalist Megalamaniac Thinks He's God
YoU ArE tOtAlLy tHe WiNd BeNeAtH mY WiNgS
Pages of Like-Minded Individuals
Well, as much as I hate to admit it, other people out there on the internet are abounding their own multiferous panacea for what ails you. Some of 'em ain't half bad either. Not that I endorse these pages, because that would require more typing and also possible constitute an abuse of my WebMaster Bob title. That usually results in a fine of magniferous proportionality. Anyhoo.
Alex Chiu's Site of Genius: http://www.alexchiu.com/ Predicted by the Babylonians. Knows the face of God. Can Boil cabbage. If you don't find it here, you don't need to know it, dammit. That being said, His Geiniusness Mr. Verafides knows everything Alex Chiu knows, and regularly beats old Chiu-boy at Scrabble. So remember: No matter how smart Alex may seem, he can't hold a candle to the radiant sun of intellect that is Verafides.
Bertha's Webpage: http://www.oocities.org/menominilexicon/ Now, Bertha is one confused Philly, if you catch my drift. The prozac has gotten a good hold of her confused noggin and she's been left to contemplate the proverbial turnips of madness. A devoted follower of Alex Chiu, no less. Makes for a good prickle bush, if you know what I'm saying (And I hope you don't).
YOU ARE STUPID AND EVIL: http://www.timecube.com/ The wisest man alive today shares his wisdom with you! However, we already know he's nothing but a two bit possum-rustling varmint, because he is trying to usurp the Great Verafides' rightful title as supreme wonderful Wise man of the Universe. We are personally all waiting for the lightening bolt to strike this infidel, although he makes alot of good points about WORD and EVIL..
The West Edmonton Mall: http://www.westedmall.com/ Tired of the tedious day-to-day living on the "outside"? Come to Alberta, where you can live out your wildest dreams, provided that those dreams entail paddling a boat around a model of a pirate ship in the middle of a mall. I can tell you one thing, the members of the Junior Verafides Hero-Worship society were so excited by this prospect, that they could hardly finish their required soap-carvings in time for the shipment. We've already lost two batches of them, and this site very well could have cost us the whole operation! I'm so cheesed-off that I'll probably skip the dolphin show this time.
Dan Winters Impregnates the Universe with Immortality: http://www.zayra.de/soulcom/indexdw.html Oh Danny boy, why must you torment me so? Return my letters for once, you animal, before it's too late and the Universe is left hopelessly embedded inside a non-aquarian dimension!
The Truth about the Lizardmen: http://www.davidicke.com/ Well, at first I was skeptical. Lizardmen running the world? Then I remembered that it makes more sense than Chicken Soup for the Golfer's Soul. So I now believe. AND THE LIZARDMEN ARE MAKING ME TYPE IN CAPS LOCK NOW!!
More shall be added when His Geniusness sees fit, and not a moment before, you greedy, Plebian swine! Go back to your Troughs until then - the little gate will open and the bell will ring when you're supposed to move again.
