Preacher"
Then again, some priests and ministers travelled from town to town, announcing their visit well in advance, so that they could perform marriages and christenings enmasse. There is a great family story that centers around the marriages of two great-aunts. They were both wed on the same day, along with one other couple. The ceremonies took place on a wednesday afternoon; the morning having been set aside for christenings. The lobby of the local hotel was used to host the event and afterward, all couples, wedding parties, family and friends, loaded into carriages and paraded down the main street.
It was a nice sunny day, but the unpaved roads were muddy since it had rained for several days beforehand, and the carriage holding my ancestors got stuck in the mud. Not wanting to be left behind, the young girls immediately jumped out, pushed the buggy free, jumped back in and continued to smile and wave like they were visiting royalty. Ah, the Canadian spirit.
The day usually ended with a banquet and later a dance, when all the furniture was moved to one side of the room to make way for the jigs and reels. Wine might be served for toasting during the meal but as the spirits became harder, the spirits grew livlier and a good time would be had by all. Immediately following, the newlyweds would leave for their new home, unless they were fortunate enough to be able to afford a 'Wedding Tour' (honeymoon). It wouldn't necessarily be lack of money that curtailed it, but the inability to take time away from necessary chores.
Though June was, and still is, the most popular month for weddings, rural families had different criteria, when selecting a date, than the right season for flowers. Aside from the obvious, a "bun in the oven", or the availibility of a preacher, there was also their livlihood to take into account and when they could best afford to spend time away from their labours. Even one day to a farmer could be critical, so winter weddings were not unheard of.
In areas where lumbering or shipping were the main sources of income; marriages would have to wait until the men returned from the bush or the sea. I wonder how many were met by irate fathers with a pitchfork clutched in one hand and a well rounded daughter grasping the other?
But no matter where or when the marriage took place they were always "til death do you part". Divorce was almost unheard of and while the parish priest or minister would counsel couples, in the end they were always told to suffer it out, just as Christ suffered for their sins. Some may have preferred to be nailed to a cross, but most stuck or out.
Once hitched, Light on Dark Corners gave even more advice on proper marital relations:
2. SEPARATE BEDS - Many writers have vigorously championed as a reform the practice of separate beds for husband and wife. While we could not recommend such separation, it is no doubt very much better for husband and wife, in case the wife be pregnant. Where people are reasonably temperate, no such ordinary precautions as separate sleeping places may be necessary.
3. THE AUTHORITY OF THE WIFE - Let the wife judge whether she requires a separtate couch or not. She has the superior right to control her own person. In such diseases as consumption, or other severe and lingering diseases, separate beds should always be insisted upon.
4. THE TIME FOR INDULGENCE - The health of the generative functions depends on exercise, just the same as any other vital organ. Intercourse should be absolutely avoided before and after meals, or just after mental exitement of physical exercise. No wife should indulge her husband when he is under the influence of alcoholic stimulents, for idiocy and other serious maladies are liable to be visited upon the offspring.
5. SEXUAL TEMPERANCE - All excesses and absurdities of every kind should be carefully avoided. Many of the female disorders which often revenge themselves in the cessation of all sexual pleasures are largely due to the excessive practice of sexual indulgence.
6. FREQUENCY - Some writers claim that intercourse should never occur except for the purpose of childbearing; but such restraint is not natural and consequently not conducive to health. There are many conditions in which the health of the mother and offspring must be respected. It is now held that it is nearer a crime than a vitue to prostitute women to the degredation of breeding animals by compelling her to bring into life more offspring than can be born healthy, or be properly cared for and educated.
7. THE GOVERNMENT OF THE MARRIAGE BED - The best writers lay down the rule for the government of the marriage bed, that sexual indulgence should only occur about once a week, or ten days, and this of course applies only to those who enjoy a fair degree of health. A man should not gratify his own sexual pleasure at the expense of his wife's comfort or inclination.
