their rural counterparts, but how lavish and grand would depend on the
circumstances of the bride's family.
If the ceremony was held in a church, it was considered good manners for the bride and groom to walk down the aisle with their eyes front and center, never looking to the right or left to see who was in attendance. It was also considered bad manners for anyone in the church to acknowlege acquaintances with bows, nods or even smiles and you never spoke out loud unless prompted as part of the service.
While exchanging vows, the bride would be presented with a ring, usually gold, but about the 1880's, when it was customary to present your betrothed with a jeweled ring, the groom would remove that first and hand it to the clergyman. He would then place it back on his bride's finger on the way home from the church. Sometimes a simple gold ring was given at the time of the marriage proposal with
the date of the engagement inscribed, which would be presented to the clergyman in the same fashion. After the ceremony, everyone would get into their carriages and all leave at once in a procession led by the bride and groom. The length of this procession was always noted in the social columns with the understanding that it's length determined the popularity of the couple.
Another tradition centering around the journey from the church to the reception hall, was the speed of the horses. Many side bets were placed (Canadians loved to gamble) as to what gentleman would arrive first, next to the groom of course, since the lucky fellow would be the first to dance with the bride (also next to the groom of course). This "race" would be watched with interest and some of the enterprising youth would stretch ropes across the road, demanding payment in order to pass.
This was all in good fun and many of the "toll guards" were actually the younger brothers or cousins of the newlyweds. The wedding banquet would have many courses and a massive, tiered, richly decorated cake was an absolute must. It was more common in urban areas for a bride and groom to leave on a wedding trip after the reception, but not necessarily so. Sometimes they just went "home"
In Lower Canada or Quebec; the merriment often went on for days. Instead of just a single party, the entire wedding entourage would travel by carriage in summer or horse and buggy in winter, going from house to house, where they would sing, dance and eat; sometimes staying over for the night, before the next day's journey. What signalled the end is uncertain, but eventually they made their way home to begin their new lives.
The social obligations of the bride and groom did not end with the wedding, however. The bride in particular was expected to be ready to receive visitors for at least a week following the big event or their return from the wedding trip. Beginning on the first Sunday that the newlyweds appeared together in church, the young lady would dress in her best formal attire, including white gloves, and receive a steady flow of guests until the following sabbath. At the first party that the newlyweds attended she must also be sure to wear white gloves, and dress her hair with orange blossoms.
Light on Dark Corners list the following suggestions to make the honeymoon last.
2. NEGLECT OF YOUR COMPANION - Do not assume a right to neglect your companion more after marriage than you did before.
3. SECRETS - Have no secrets that you keep from your companion. A third party is always disturbing.
4. AVOID THE APPEARANCE OF EVIL - In matrimonial matters it is often that the mere appearance contains all the evil. Love, as soon as it rises above calculation and becomes love, is exacting. It gives all, and demands all.
5. ONCE MAARIED NEVER OPEN YOUR MIND TO ANY CHANGE - If you keep the door of your purpose closed, evil or even desirable changes cannot make headway without help.
7. KEEP A FRIENDLY INTEREST IN THE BUSINESS OF THE HOME - Two that do not pull together, are weaker than either alone.
8. GAUGE YOUR EXPENSES BY YOUR REVENUE - Love must eat. The sheriff often levies on Cupid long before he takes away the furniture.
9. START FROM WHERE YOUR PARENTS STARTED RATHER THAN WHERE THEY ARE NOW - Hollow and showy boarding often furnishes the too strong temptation, while the quietness of a humble home would cement the hearts beyond risk.
10. AVOID DEBT - Spend your own money, but earn it first, then it will not be necessary to blame anyone for spending other people's.
11. DO NOT BOTH GET ANGRY AT THE SAME TIME - Remember, it takes two to quarrel.
12. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF EVER TO COME TO AN OPEN RUPTURE - Things unsaid need less repentance.
13. STUDY TO REFORM YOUR TASTES AND HABITS TO THE TASTES AND HABITS OF YOUR PARTNER - If two walk together, they must agree.
