This section will enlighten you about Victorian family life. First we'll take a look at familymembers and their roles in the family. Extra attention will be spend on the victorian woman. What did she do in daily life? What were her dreams and hopes? Within Victorian society etiquette played a dominating role. You can read a little about how etiquette defined life and see some examples of etiquette used by the Victorians. We will conclude with a small piece about social gatherings men and women attended and the coming out of young women.
Families were very important to Victorians. Families were usually large and consisting of 5 to 6 children. People weren't allowed to live together unmarried. This was taught to be imprudent as well as improper and thus all people married. Marriage was as complicated an affair in the Victorian Era as it is today. There were many social rules dictating how a Victorian wedding would be put on. Rules existed for all aspects of the wedding, even to the extent to say who was allowed to marry whom!
Marriage was the ultimate goal of every young Victorian woman. By the time they were 18 marriage was a priority in their lives. Most girls were married between the ages of 18 and 23, especially in the upper classes. It was uncommon for someone to marry out of their social class.There were a few general rules involving marriage and also rules on attaching yourself socially in the correct manner. For instance women had to have a dowry and it was illegal to marry a deceased wife's sister. People who had fair hair should marry someone with curly hair. And irritable, nervous people should marry sympathetic, quiet types.
Most upper and middle class families lived in big, comfortable houses. Each member of the family had its own place and children were taught to "know their place". The father for instance was the head of the household. He was often strict and was obeyed by all without question. The children were taught to respect their father and always spoke politely to him calling him "Sir".The mother on the other hand would often spend her time planning dinner parties, visiting her dressmaker or calling on friends. Social life and advancing in society was very important to her. Both "papa and mama saw the upbringing of their children as an important responsibility. They believed a child must be taught the difference between right and wrong if he was to grow into a good and thoughtful adult. If a child did something wrong he would be punished for his own good.
Most days middle class children for that matter saw very little of their parents. The children in a middle class family would spend most of their time in the nursery and would be brought up by their nanny and later by a governess. Some would only see their parents once a day. In the eveningthe children were allowed downstairs for an hour before they went to bed. Daughters lived a secluded life. They were expected to live life indoors while the sons earned money.
