Greetings good citizens of Tunare! Since I last wrote you I have been on many new adventures which have taken my travels to new and exciting places!
Much to my dismay, I discovered that the pking problem is now no longer strictly confined to Gfay. It seems the evil of the horrible pkers has spread to almost every area in Norrath. My my! So much work to do! Because it has been so many moons since I last updated all of you, I can only provide a small sampling of the hundreds and hundreds of acts of justice which have transpired.
My journey began from my home in Steamfont. It is always so nice to be home where I am surrounded by other kind-hearted gnomes!
However, although home is where the heart is I knew I was needed elsewhere. I was going to join some of my short brothers and sisters in the twisted land of Unrest. After getting supplies, I entered Lfay, and was shocked and horrified to see a notorious pker standing right before me! He was holding a giant scythe which I'm sure is what he uses to pk with, so I knew I would have to act quickly if I wanted to escape with my life.
He didn't want to scoot, so justice had to take many forms. After killing him many more times, I realized that he would be content to go through this routine for the rest of the night just to prove his point. It seemed we were having a stand-off, and I really wanted to leave, so we were a little perplexed about how to finish this encounter. Finally my guildmates gave him a penance which would resolve the situation. The pker was willing to comply.
I was quite confused by this. I know not what the meaning of the word 'Chinaman' is. I was reluctant to accept this as a suitable penance, but yielded to the greater wisdom of my guild elders. Of course, he had to die just once more for old time's sake.
I moved on through Gfay, and heard some strange grumbling about the quality of life. I assured them that I had not forsaken them, and that my crusade would carry on in the name of Tunare.
Of course, my fellow crusaders and I did make a routine sweep for pkers. It's gotten to be almost automatic.
I moved on into Butcherblock Mountains, and was told there might be a pker at the docks. I headed over just in case, but once I got there I realized that this was definitely not a pker. Instead it was a noble and honorable member of the guild 'White Dragons'. However, while I was standing there talking to him about the current state of affairs in Norrath I noticed he didn't seem to be feeling to well. All of the sudden he just fell over dead for no reason! I think he died of natural causes. I don't think anyone suspected foul play.
*bows his head in reverence to the deceased*
Once I had given the poor elf a proper burial I moved on to Dagnor's Cauldron. Aqua goblins were EVERYWHERE! I was so frightened I ran towards the entrance to Unrest and much to my dismay, was greeted by a truly horrible pker of yet another guild with the word 'dragon' in it!
I summoned up all my courage and fought my best. I was truly paving the way for other honest, decent hard-working good Samaritans, so I knew I must act bravely.
One of the horrible pker's guildmates sent me a tell indicating that apparently there was someone in Norrath that wished to do harm towards me. I sent him my customary deceptive response.
Of course, I suppose he forgot to use /t when telling someone of his great accomplishment of scaring me off because a few minutes later I received the following mistell:
This false truth led me to unleash my justice within the confines of Unrest.
My good friend Keric even joined in the fun!
I have since moved on to adventures in the vast Ocean of Tears, where I have gotten use to grouping and adventuring with my trusted allies in the Liberation of the Underfoot. I realized that the characters in the Ocean of Tears seem to speak in codes I cannot understand. I can only assume it is 'pker' talk.
Since relocating to the Ocean of Tears I have had countless battles, and wish I could document more, but in the interest of keeping my story to a reasonable length, I will not. I only wish to say that I'm sorry to find out that Trolls aren't the gentle and kind spirits that I once thought they were. As is so often the case, I'm afraid I was being naive.
Oh well, at least he spelled it right for once! My adventures continue, and I hope to be telling you all more about my generous acts of goodness in the near future. My charity knows no bounds, and my courage is unparalleled! Feel my justice Norrath, for it is indeed mighty!