Author: Tina
Homepage: http://www.oocities.org/weird4182/index.html
Pairing: Brian and Justin
Rating: PG (Language)
Category: General / Other / Misc
Summary: Thoughts in the night.
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Possibly, though not really
Disclaimer: If this were a utopian world they could belong to all of us, but it’s not, so they don’t. Sadly, they belong to Cowlip.
Feedback: Yes, please. Send it to Weird4182@yahoo.com
You’re sleeping peacefully now. I’m pretty sure that you were in the midst of a nightmare a few minutes ago, but I rubbed you back to soothe you until you settled down. You haven’t had one of those in awhile. I wonder what it was about.
You twist and turn in your sleep, kind of like an eggbeater. It’s funny really. Not exactly what you’d expect from such a deep sleeper like yourself. Most would probably think that once you fell asleep, you’d be like a rock, but you’re not. Always searching for the most comfortable position. The perfect spot to obtain the most restful sleep.
You are a true work of art. I know that physical beauty isn’t everything and it’s certainly not all of who you are, but you are gorgeous. Definitely one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen.
Your nose is adorable. It’s the perfect size and shape for your face and it’s very unique. When you’re working hard on something, your concentration causes it to wrinkle a little. On the top of the tip it’s flattened a bit. It never fails to make you smile when I kiss you there and you get that bright twinkle in your eyes that tell me you’re on to me.
Your eyes flutter constantly when you’re asleep. Bet you didn’t know that. That mind of yours never stops, does it? Never gets a moments rest. Your eyelashes are really dark, almost black. Surprising, especially considering what color you hair is. But I think I finally realize just what an enigma you really are. Just when I think I’ve figured you out, you do or say something that throws everything I thought I knew, out the window.
You just opened your eyes. It was just for a second and you didn’t even wake, but it gave me a chance to see their color. The color amazes me. So many different shades of blue. Who knew they all existed outside of a Crayola box. Periwinkle when you’re excited. Azure when you’re deep in thought. Indigo when you get sad. Ice blue when you get mad. Aqua when you get upset when and your eyes fill with tears. So much is expressed. I wish I could prevent you from having to experience these last couple of emotions, but that’s life.
You’re hair is ideal. All right, I’ll admit it, I’m jealous. It’s so soft and silky and it’s naturally that way. You don’t have to spend any time on it or use any products. You can leave sporting an honest to goodness ‘I just rolled out of bed’ look while I could take hours to work on mine. The light and sun reflect on it, picking out the natural highlights and making it look more golden than before. It’s grown back finally. I remember the discussion that led up getting it cut in the first place. It looked great to me. I liked it. But I realize that with your hectic schedule, manageable hair is a necessity. At the time it reached just past your chin, and okay, only a few inches off did make you look better and it easier to deal with. Not that I’d ever admit that I was wrong.
You’re mouth is lovely. Jesus Christ, did I just use that word? See what you do to me? I think half the time you don’t even realize what affect you have on me. Back to your mouth. I wonder if you ever notice the little indentation you have in your bottom lip. Some people would probably see it as an imperfection, but I don’t. It’s a part that makes up the whole and it’s distinctive. Your bottom lip is full while your top lip is a bit on the thin side. They’re not unbalanced, just not the same size. I think that the fullness of one complements the thinness of the other and vice versa. Regardless, it’s still beautiful, in that perfect shade of pink.
“Brian?”
“Hmm?”
“You should come back to bed.”
“I can’t. She’s really beautiful, isn’t she?”
Brian and Justin took a quiet minute together, to watch their daughter sleep.
“Yeah, she is. Sometimes it amazes me. I still can’t believe I’m a dad.”
“I still can’t believe that Linds eggs hadn’t already dried up yet.”
Justin smacked Brian’s arm. “Linds was 40. Plenty of women are still fertile at 50.”
“Well, considering how active your little swimmers are, I shouldn’t be surprised that they were able to revive the odd egg. It’s still a shame that you and Daphne weren’t able to procreate together.”
Justin sighed. “Yeah but at least I was able to be there and support her when she found out that she couldn’t have kids. After she stopped crying she told me that I had better find someone to impregnate, because if she couldn’t be a mom she wanted to be an aunt.”
“Do you ever begin to remember the day she was born?”
“You mean like randomly throughout the day?” Brian nodded. “All the time. I’ll be in a meeting or the art department and begin to zone out remembering.”
“It was an insane night. I wonder if the nurses were able to finally figure out how we were all related. I bet they’ve never seen that many queers in the maturnity ward before.”
“I’ll never forget how Deb cried when we introduced her as her granddaughter. I know that she loves Adam desperately, but she always secretly wanted a little granddaughter to pamper and since Michael wasn’t able to have any more kids she thought she’d never have one.”
“I’ll never forget how Deb and Michael both cried when you announced that her name was Victoria. It meant so much to them that she’d carry on his name and his memory.” Brian’s voice became hushed. “Deb said Vic would have been proud of me. Of us.”
Justin grasped Brian’s hand tightly. “He was the best gay dad a fag could have.”
“That was probably one of the best nights of my life. Second only because you and Gus both came into my life the same night. Fuck, look what you’ve done to me. You turned me into a sappy dyke.”
“Brian” Justin said in a calm, soothing voice. “You were always a sappy dyke. It was just hidden under a lot of bullshit.”
Brian squeezed Justin’s hand as they watched Vicky sleep for a few more minutes. Finally, after making sure that her blankie was secure around her shoulders and that her teddy bear was within her reach, Brian allowed Justin to lead him back to bed.
11/18/03