Author: Tina
Homepage: http://www.oocities.org/weird4182/index.html
LiveJournal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/weirdqafan/
Pairing: Brian and Justin
Rating: R
Category: AU, Drama
Summary: Someone pays Justin a visit.
Warnings: None
Spoilers: Seasons 1-3
Disclaimer: If this were a utopian world they could belong to all of us, but it’s not, so they don’t. Sadly, they belong to Cowlip.
Feedback: Yes, please. Send it to Weird4182@yahoo.com
Author's Notes: Post Season 3. Brian & Justin were never caught doing the anti-Stockwell campaign. Brian’s still partner at Vanguard, as well as financially sound, & Justin’s still at PIFA, as a junior.
Author's Notes II: Keep in mind that Alex is a fictional character. That this whole thing is a piece of fiction. That although the places, programs or other things mentioned in this might/are real, she is not & therefore, could not have any involvement. No disrespect is intended for those who are really involved with the previously mentioned places, programs or other things.
~*~
“Alex!”
Justin darted out of the diner after Alex, but she was already lost in the crowd. Justin ran his hand through his hair while he sighed in frustration. ‘Everything was going so well. Why the fuck did mom have to show up now?’ After standing and staring at her mother for a few minutes that seemed more like hours, Alex snapped out of her daze, grabbed her bag, dropped a kiss on Justin’s forehead, nodded to Brian and then bolted out of the diner.
After, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, Justin walked back into the diner. He stalked towards his mother, who was standing next the booth that Brian still occupied.
“What are you doing here?” Justin demanded.
“Justin…please…” Jennifer started, her voice pleading.
“No. Why the fuck are you here? Why did you have to show up now?” Justin asked getting more agitated by the second. “Everything was going perfectly until you showed up! You ruined it.” Up until this point, Brian had stayed quiet, preferring to stay out of the family matter. But once Brian noticed that Justin’s right hand began to shake and Justin’s breathing became more erratic, he decided to step in. Brian stood up and grasped Justin gently by the shoulders.
“Stop.” Brian calmly told him.
“But she…”
“Justin.”
Justin met Brian’s eyes and realized that the only thing he was accomplishing was working himself into to a panic attack. He leaned his head into Brian’s chest, where he could clearly hear the steady heart beat. He then tried to match his breathing to Brian’s. Justin allowed himself this luxury for a few minutes to calm down. Finally, he took a deep breath and pulled out of Brian’s embrace and turned to face his mother.
“We need to talk.” Jennifer opened her mouth to speak, but Justin cut her off. “Not here.”
Justin glanced around the diner to try to figure out what to do. Spotting Hunter sitting at the counter, Justin got an idea.
“Hey Hunter.”
Hunter looked up from his comic book; Michael’s hobby had definitely been rubbing off on him. “What’s up?”
“Are you working today?”
“Naw. I just came in to get some lunch & pick up my schedule for next week.”
“Do you think you could cover my shift?” Justin lowers his voice. “I’ve got some family shit that I really need to deal with right now.”
Hunter glanced at Jennifer and then looked back to Justin. Normally, he would give Justin a bad time before agreeing, but since he could relate to family issues, especially mother issues, he relented.
“Yeah sure.”
“Thanks, next time you need me to cover, let me know.”
“No problem. Or maybe I could just borrow Brian for an hour or two.”
Justin smirked at Hunter. “Not a chance. But nice try.”
Hunter gave Justin’s mom one more glance and then whispered “Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
Justin turned back to face his mom. “Let’s go back to your condo. Is Molly home?”
“No, she’s at a neighbor’s.”
“Then that’s where we’ll talk. I’ll meet you there.”
After watching Jennifer leave the diner, Brian turned to Justin. “Do you need a ride?”
“No, I picked my car up from the garage this morning.”
“I’ll see you later?”
Justin looked briefly at the door his mother just left through. “Maybe. I’m not sure where I’ll be after this.”
Brian nodded in understanding at the double meaning. “Stop by if you feel up to it.”
They kissed and Justin tried to draw strength from the connection.
~*~
Justin sat in his mother’s living room and looked around. It always felt strange to him, seeing the familiar pieces of furniture in an unfamiliar home. Jennifer walked into the room, handed Justin a glass of water and sat down opposite him. Justin took a sip and then looked up at her.
“So what do you want to know?”
Jennifer twisted her hands nervously. “That was Alex, wasn’t it?”
Justin scoffed. “Of course it was. Not that you’d of known that. A person can change a lot in ten years. You don’t know anything about her. You don’t know her.”
Jennifer met Justin’s eyes briefly but then quickly averted her eyes.
“After dad kicked her out, she stopped existing to you. But she didn’t to me. She would have never turned her back on me, even though that’s exactly what you and dad did to her. The Chanders helped us keep in touch, because they knew you were wrong. She has never stopped being my sister.”
Jennifer remained silent with her eyes downcast, unable to deny Justin’s claims. Justin took deep breaths, trying to maintain his composure. He knew that getting mad and making accusations, was not the best way to handle things.
“What do you want to know?”
Jennifer looked uncertain. Justin had never seen his mother look so lost. She reminded him a lot of Molly when she was younger. Deciding to take pity on her, Justin spoke.
“Alex graduated from Perry High School, first in her class in 1993. She was admitted to Cornell University and was awarded the Ezra Cornell Scholarship, which covered full tuition and housing expenses. I was so proud when she told me. Only one student per class each year is awarded that scholarship.”
Justin paused temporarily to let this sink in.
“She immersed herself in school, particularly getting involved in the drama department. She always did have a lot of talent. She was hired for her first professional job when she was 17. She spent the summer of ’95 working in Minnesota on the movie Mallrats. She worked as a grip, production assistant and wardrobe assistant.”
“She worked really hard, took summer sessions and graduated in three years when she was 18. She had earned her degrees in Psychology and Dramatic Arts Design, was a Phi Beta Kappa and third in her class. She was awarded a fellowship and admitted to Columbia’s Graduate School of Arts & Sciences.”
Justin paused to sip his water and study the look on his mother’s face. Deeming it safe, he continued.
“When she was 20, she graduated from Columbia with her Masters in Psych with an emphasis on adolescent psychology. She also earned her teaching credential and was offered a professor position at NYU, which she accepted. Throughout school she kept working on movies and that same year, she was nominated for an Oscar.”
Jennifer looked at Justin, shocked.
“The movie Elizabeth. Alex did the costume designs for the production and was nominated for the 1998 Academy Awards. She’s done a lot with her life. Had a lot of successes and you never knew.” Justin paused before dropping a bombshell. “You were almost grandmother and you would never have known.”
“W-what?”
Justin ran a hand through his hair. “Three years ago, Alex and a close friend of hers, Kevin, decided to have a baby together. Since they’re both queer, they each had the right equipment and they wanted a child, they figured ‘why not?’ And they would have except that Kevin passed away before Alex could get pregnant. But even if everything had gone to plan, you still wouldn’t have known.” Justin took another sip of water, before delivering the most painful blow. “Alex almost died and you didn’t know.”
With those words, Jennifer went from looking bad to worse.
“S-she…what?”
“You heard me. Alex almost died and you didn’t know. She had a near fatal fall, and then she was taken to the hospital where their fuck ups almost killed her too. But you didn’t know. Hell, up until an hour ago, you didn’t know if she was dead or alive.”
“Justin…”
“She was fifteen and you let him throw her to the wolves. Without a care about how she would survive or if she would survive. You let him do that to her. And me.” Justin laughed. “But at least by the time it was my turn things had improved slightly, didn’t they? Instead of punching me, like he did her, he only slapped me. Instead of kicking my ass out the door the second he found out, like he did to her, he only established the most hateful, repressive guidelines for me to live by that, had I stayed, most likely would have led me to kill myself. Big improvement…huge.”
“Justin…I didn’t know where…”
“You could have found her. IF you wanted to. I’m mean, come on mom, it wouldn’t have been hard. It’s not like Alex changed her name. She’s still Alexandra Cristine Taylor and she’s been using her own social security number. I’m sure any private investigator could have tracked her down. Fuck, you could have even called the police and reported her missing to find her. For all of those years, she was still a minor. Or you could have asked me or the Chanders or Ganma. Any of us could have told you, but you didn’t want to know. You cut her out of your life like she was nothing, like she was worthless! How could you? You were her mother.”
“Justin it was complicated. Your father…”
“As much as I would love to blame all of this on him, you know that’s not possible. You had a hand in it to. But while we’re on the subject, since you knew how he reacted to Alex being a dyke, how could you tell him that I was a fag? Didn’t you know that there was a very good chance that he’d kick me out to? Is that what you wanted? Shit, what’s wrong with you people! You not supposed to treat your children this way. What happens if Molly decides that she’s bi. Is she then going to have to look for alternate living arrangements? Or what if she gets pregnant? Or is in anyway not perfect? Is she out of the family then too?”
“No, Justin…I didn’t want you and Molly to suffer. I didn’t want you to lose…”
“Don’t you fucking dare use me and Molly as an excuse!” Justin’s voice boomed out, cutting his mother off. Shocked at never having seen Justin loose his temper like this, Jennifer remained silent.
“You didn’t want us to lose what, huh? Our father?” Justin spat out “Guess what? We already have. We did anyway. I lost my best friend. Molly lost the sister that she’s never known, but always wanted. You stole ten years from us. All those times that Mol complained about me and wished had a sister, she did. She just wasn’t allowed to know about her. So guess what? Your plan failed. Mol and I did suffer. Just how do you think Molly’s going to feel when she finds out about Alex? That you’ve essentially lied to her for most of her life. And she will find out, because you are not going to keep those two apart. You owe it to them to let them build a relationship. The one that you’ve kept from them.”
Justin sighed wearily. He felt like he had run a marathon. He looked at his mother, who looked rather beaten down, but he was unable to muster any pity for her.
“Mom.” Justin waited until she looked at him. “You are still my mother. And I still love you. But right now, I don’t like you very much. I’m going to go and I’ll call Molly later.”
Jennifer just nodded numbly and watched Justin walk out the door.
~*~
As soon as Justin closed the door and stepped out on the porch, he almost tripped over his little sister who was sitting there staring at the street. Not knowing how long she’d been there or what she heard, he sat next to her, unsure of what to say. After a few minutes, Molly broke their silence.
“I remember her.”
Justin stared at Molly for a second with his mouth hanging open, before replying.
“Huh?”
“Alex…I remember her.”
“How could you? You were only three.”
Molly gave Justin a twisted smile. “I didn’t say that I remembered a lot. Just some things. She has our eyes, doesn’t she?” At Justin’s nodded, she continued. “And Ganma’s hair, right?”
“Yeah.”
“For a lot of years, I thought that my memories were of an invisible or imaginary playmate that I had created when I was really young. But I remembered you interacting with her, so I knew that that couldn’t be true.” Molly smiled at Justin shyly for a moment. “You wanna know what memory sticks out the most? My favorite?”
“Sure.”
“It was night and I got scared at something. I don’t know what. Shadows, noises, whatever, and I remember going into Alex’s room. I got into bed with her. Gus was her bear first, right?” Justin nodded again. “She handed me Gus to hold and then she put her arm around me and let me tell her what had scared me. She didn’t laugh at me or try to dismiss my fears; she agreed that my room could be scary at night. She then talked about different things until I fell asleep.” Molly’s voice quieted to a whisper. “She had a really soft voice.”
“Yeah she does.” Justin watched his sister for a moment before proceeding. “She always asks about you.”
Molly eyes and face light up with a Sunshine smile. “She does?”
Justin laughed. “Every single time I’ve ever talked to her. I’ve sent her pictures of you, too. She wanted to know as much about you as possible.”
Molly seemed to contemplate this with a very satisfied smile on her face. “So when do I get to see her?”
“Um…” Justin had to think quickly. “How about tomorrow, I pick you up and you, Daph, Me and Alex spend the night and my and Daph’s apartment. We can order pizza, listen to music, watch movies hang out and talk. About anything. Then on Monday, I’ll take you to school.”
Practically bouncing where she sat, Molly asked, “Really? Can we go out for breakfast Monday, too? At the diner?”
“Yeah, why not?” Molly started to open her mouth to ask something, but Justin cut her off. “And I’ll make sure that Brian’s there, too.”
Molly beamed at him. “You’re the best Juster.”
Justin knocked his shoulder against hers.
“You’re not half bad either, Mollusk.”
End Chapter 8