Title:  Recluses, Resolutions & Reunions Author: Tina Homepage: http://www.oocities.org/weird4182/index.html Live Journal: http://www.livejournal.com/users/weirdqafan/ Pairing: Brian and Justin Rating: PG-13 (language) Category:  General/ Misc./ Other Summary:  If Justin hides, will anyone try to find him? Spoilers:  Through the beginning of episode 308, when Justin was moping but before he got the job at Vanguard. Disclaimer: If this were a utopian world they could belong to all of us, but it’s not, so they don’t.  Sadly, they belong to Cowlip. Feedback: Yes, please. Send it to Weird4182@yahoo.com Author’s Notes:  I’m not sure what time of year this would actually be set at, but if Cowlip can screw with the timeline, so can I! ~*~ ‘How the hell did I get here?’  Justin pondered this while he watched people boarding the streetcar below his window.  It wasn’t that he didn’t know what had happened or what events in his life led him here, it was more of a question of how suddenly his life so abruptly changed. ‘Here’ and he supposed ‘home’ at the moment was San Francisco, California.  Justin shook his head remembering the arguments with Daph and his mother prior to his leaving Pittsburgh. ‘I did not run away.  I just made a strategic withdrawal.’ And in Justin’s mind it wasn’t purely coincidental that immediately following the demise of his relationship with Ethan, that he was notified of his invitation to participate in a 3-month student exchange program with the San Francisco Academy of Art College.  Fate is a strange thing.  The opportunity sounded great, plus the fact that the school would pay for airfare and living expenses for the duration, in addition to giving him a partial refund on his tuition for the term.  And the fact that this offer was made on the heels of Justin realizing just what a mess of his life he’d made?  Had no influence whatsoever.  Nope.  None.  Nada. Justin snorted.  ‘Yeah right, I’m not even convincing myself here.’ Suddenly, the sound of the front door banging open echoed throughout the apartment. “Justin!  Your ass better not be sitting in front of that window again or I’m gonna throw all your shit out!” And thus was the end of Justin’s peaceful pondering and the announcement of his roommate’s arrival.  Caitlin Claudio was an unexpected bonus to this trip. Justin watched amused as Caitlin bounced into the room. “Shit Jus, when the hell are you gonna stop this moping around shit?  Pretty soon you’re gonna start matching the walls!  And this hermit impersonation you got going on is really a fucking drag.” Justin laughed at his insane friend.  Caitlin was definitely a ‘character’ as his mother had said after speaking to her briefly on the phone.  She was gorgeous.  Taken after her Irish mother, Caitlin had long shiny black hair, extremely pale white skin and vivid dark green eyes.  She looked innocent and almost angelic.  That was until she opened her mouth. Then the genes she inherited from her father’s side kicked in, with what she referred to as ‘a ton and a half of Puerto Rican attitude’.  For someone with such a petite body, she sure had a big mouth and used it quite often.  Originally from Los Angeles, Caitlin was attending the program as a student of California Institute of the Arts, in Southern California. Caitlin laid down on Justin’s bed in the dorm apartment they shared and peered at him while hanging upside down off the side. “So Justin, did you hook up with anyone last night?” Justin gave her a look that plainly said, ‘What do you think?’  He had reluctantly gone with her to the Castro and hit a couple of clubs.  After she hooked up with one of the few straight guys in the place, he came back to the apartment to get some sleep. Caitlin sighed, sat next to him in the huge chair and threw her arm around him.  Justin laid his head on her shoulder.  She was a great fag hag.  Probably what Deb would be like if she was 20.  After she pegged him as gay, claiming to have the best gaydar a semi-straight girl could have, a direct result of growing up in West Hollywood and spending her summers in San Francisco with her grandparents, he had more or less spilled his guts to her.  She knew all about the disaster with Brian, the mockery of a relationship with Ethan, the bashing and even the shit with his father. “Justin, sweetie,” Caitlin said while running her fingers through his hair, “you need to relax and try to have fun.  I know life sucks sometimes, but you can’t change it.  You can only try to deal and move on.” Justin sighed and closed his eyes, Caitlin’s fingers and soft voice relaxing him. “You’re in the Gay Capital of the world, not to mention one of the most gorgeous and historical cities in the country.  You should try to at least pretend to enjoy it.” “I can’t.”  Came the defeated reply. “Yeah, cuz brooding about it’s really gonna change things.  You managed to convince your mom that you couldn’t come home for Christmas due to projects, which was a bunch of bullshit, when all you were doing was avoiding Brian.  Why don’t you go home for New Years and try to talk to him?  You need to at the very least get some closure, which you obviously haven’t gotten yet.  Plus you don’t know, he might feel the same way you do.” “Brian Kinney doesn’t do feelings.” Caitlin used the hand that was playing with Justin’s hair to gently slap him upside the head. “Bullshit.  From what you told me, Brian has feelings.  Feelings that run quite deeply in fact.  He just excels in hiding and suppressing them.”  Caitlin used Justin’s chin to turn his face towards her.  “Talk to him.” Justin closed his eyes, trying to ignore the green eyes that were boring into him.  “I don’t want him to tell me to fuck off.” “Of course you don’t.  But you don’t know for sure that’s what he would say.” Justin sighed.  “Maybe I’ll give him a call.” Both knowing that he wouldn’t, they fell silent and watched the streetcars below the window.  ~*~ “Oh my G-d!”  Justin shrieked as he doubled over laughing. Caitlin threw a pillow from her bed at the near-hysterical blond. “It wasn’t that fucking funny, twerp!” “Cait the woman was having an argument with the CNN anchor for an HOUR!  What’s not funny about that?” Caitlin looked exasperated.  “Have a little respect for your elders, Jus.  Please, like your grandmother is the picture of sanity with all of her weird potions and brews and shit.” “But Cait…” “Fucker.”  Caitlin suddenly smiled.  “Hey, at least Granny Moira liked you.” Justin smirked.  “That’s only because I didn’t disagree with her about politics.” “Yeah, but you didn’t agree with her either.” “Pfft…it’s not like she knows that.”  Justin looked thoughtful.  “But at least she’s liberal.  Even though her idea of shipping all Republicans to Antarctica in their underwear was a bit odd.” Caitlin rolled her eyes, but Justin continued. “Hey, she’s kinda cool.  She tried to set me up with her grandson, didn’t she?” “Yeah, except cousin Mark is a complete douche.”  Caitlin huffed.  “See if I ever invite you to a family dinner again.” Justin tossed a pillow at Caitlin. “Ha ha ha.” Caitlin left Justin lounging on her bed and began rummaging through her closet.  She pulled out a dark, shimmery green halter and a pair of black 501 jeans, that Justin knew were skintight from when she wore them clubbing. Justin checked the clock and saw that it was a little past 11:00. “Are you going out now?” “Nope.  This is what I’m gonna wear tomorrow night.” Justin looked confused.  “Tomorrow?” “Duh, Jus.  New Years Eve.  Ring any bells?” “Oh, I forgot.” “How the hell did you forget something like that?” “I’ve been a bit busy…” “Yeah, busy moping.”  Caitlin interjected. “…with classes and seminars.”  Justin finished with a glare. Caitlin rolled her eyes.  “Jus, I know that practically everyday, you spend about a total of 4 hours staring at nothing.  Whether it’s out your bedroom window, out the living room window or from a bench outside the ferry building at the Embarcadero.  That’s not exactly busy.” “Hey, I spend most of that time sketching!”  At Caitlin’s doubtful look, Justin continued,  “Or planning what to draw.” Deciding that getting into an argument about his avoidance techniques wasn’t a good thing, Justin quickly changed the subject. “So, where are you going to celebrate?  The Castro?  The clubs will probably be packed.  Or maybe it’ll be a big party in the street.  Or are you gonna hit one of those…” Justin shuddered “…hetero-clubs.” Caitlin laughed.  “I hate those fucking places.  The guys who are there are usually scum.  I find much better straight guys to fuck in gay bars.” Justin laughed at the absurdity in her logic.  “Yeah, cuz that makes a lot of sense.  You have got to be the weirdest person ever.” Caitlin looked confused. “Why?  Most straight guys in gay clubs are there with their friends and are more genuine since they’re not looking or expecting to hook up with someone.” “True.  Well, you’ve still got one of the strangest views on sex and relationships that I have ever heard.” “Hey, what’s wrong with my view?  It makes more sense than most.” “Cait, I’ve known bi people before, but you’re just weird.” Caitlin sighed.  “How many fucking times do I have to explain this to you.  I hate labels.  They suck.  Plus why limit my options by placing my self into a category.  I may wind up spending my life with someone, and why should I decide now, whether it has to be a man or a woman.  And at this point in my life, I think it’s best that if I want a relationship, that a woman is a better option.  But if I want casual sex, I prefer a guy.”  “Fine, fine.  I won’t infringe on your sexual beliefs.”  Justin looked thoughtful.  “You know, I heard some people talking about parties at San Francisco State that should be cool.  A couple of roaming parties where they’re gonna go from dorm to dorm to party.” “Yeah, cause that’s all sorts of legal with the amount of booze I’m sure will be in attendance.  Naw…WE are going to the Fisherman’s Wharf-Embarcadero Celebration.” Justin raised an eyebrow.  “Oh we are, are we?” “Hell yes we are.  It’s supposed to be San Fran’s largest New Year's Eve party.  There’s gonna be a lot of different music venues, food and fireworks over the bay.” Seeing that Justin still looked doubtful, Caitlin sat next to him and wrapped her arms around him. “Come on Jus, you’ll see, it’ll be fun.  Trust me, there’ll be plenty of time to mope next year.” “How many times do I have to tell you woman…I.  Do.  Not.  Mope.” Caitlin snorted, “Mope, brood, sulk, pout…what’s the difference?” “Bitch.” “I know.”  Justin sighed and snuggled more into Caitlin’s embrace.  “You love me for it.” “If that’s what gets you through the night…” ~*~ Loud music blared as hundreds of bodies bumped and grinded to the beat.  It was definitely a party to remember.  Music, lights, people, food and drinks at every turn. A lot of the different DJs were periodically doing odd contests for prizes.  Caitlin had entered a music trivia contest and won two tickets to a Boat Party around the bay to ring in the New Year.  Of course she wanted Justin to go with her, but as they were boarding, and Caitlin’s attention was elsewhere, Justin managed to get lost in the crowd and avoid getting on with her.  When the boat started to pull away from the dock, Caitlin appeared at the rail, after obviously having searched for him on the boat, long enough to realize what he did and to give him the finger. Justin walked around by himself for a while.  He just wasn’t into this.  Yes, he liked parties and going to clubs, but he simply wasn’t in the mood.  ‘And that doesn’t mean that I’m fucking moping!’ Ok, so maybe…maybe he was moping, but just a little bit!  Justin walked to the ferry building and around to the side to reach the dock and sat at his usual bench.  It was true.  He did spend a lot of time here, but he enjoyed it.  Just watching the ferries and the boats and the birds, hell he even enjoyed watching the cars on the Bay Bridge.  Justin was able to watch from his spot the multi-colored, lighted ‘party boats’ going around the bay.  He briefly wondered which one Caitlin was on and how much yelling he would have to endure the following day.      ‘Maybe I should make a New Years resolution like when I was little.  But what?’  Justin thought about it for a bit and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and scrolled through the phone book until he got to a certain name and number.  He stared at it for a while with his finger hovering over the call button.  Quickly, before he could change his mind, he pressed ‘call’.  The number rang and rang.  Realizing that Brian obviously had turned his cell off, something he only did when he was too ‘busy’ to take a call, Justin sighed and disconnected the call.           ‘What happened to us?  How did things become so shitty so quickly?’ Justin was staring at his phone so intensely, looking for answers that it couldn’t give, that he didn’t feel someone else’s presence when they sat next to him on the bench.  The voice and words that he suddenly heard threw him back to a night that seemed so long ago. “How’s it going?  Had a busy night?” Very slowly, as if in a dream Justin turned his head.  Sitting to his right was Brian, looking absolutely mouth-watering, dressed in Justin’s favorite red shirt and black pants. Confused, Justin looked at his phone again, and then back at the person sitting next to him.  He hesitantly reached his hand out and jumped when it encountered a solid body.  “B-Brian?!” “Hey Sunshine.” “W-What are you…I mean…how did you…” Justin trailed off, completely at a lack for words. Brian smirked.  “Well it’s good to see that your time here has improved your speech skills immensely.”  At Justin’s wounded look, Brian sighed and tentatively moved to put his arm around Justin.  When there was no objection, Brian pulled Justin to snuggle into his side.  “Well, it all started when this blonde twink decided to venture out to Liberty Avenue about three years ago…”  “Brian.”  Justin swatted him and then stared at the blackness of the water.  “Can’t you be serious?” Brian grasped Justin’s chin and pulled his face to look into his eyes.  “I am being serious.  The night I met you changed definitely changed my life.  I can’t say for sure whether it was for better or for worse…” Justin moved to swat him again, but Brian grabbed his hand in time and entwined their fingers. “But it has definitely kept me on my toes and has made me really live, more than I was before.  I gotta say Sunshine life is definitely more interesting with you in it.”  Brian looked deeply into Justin’s eyes to make sure that he heard what he had to say next.  “And I wouldn’t change anything about it, unless it was a way of keeping you in it for the long haul.” Justin’s eyes widened when he realized what Brian just admitted.  Brian rolled his lips into his mouth.  “That is…if you want.” Justin’s lips curled slightly at the ends, before turning into a full-fledged smile.  Not the ‘Sunshine Smile’ that he was known for, but a more genuine, intimate smile that was reserved only for special, private moments like this.   “I want.”  Justin whispered. Suddenly above them the sky exploded into bright, colored designs as the fireworks display started.  Brian checked Justin’s watch and see that it was midnight, leaned in for his first of many kisses from his twink in the New Year.  After kissing passionately for a few moments, the couple snuggled in to watch the impressive light show.  “Brian…” “Hmm?” “How did you know I was here?” “Telepathy.  With a little help of call from a rather pushy, mouthy fag hag of yours.” Justin smiled.  “So that’s why my cell phone was missing last week and then magically reappeared on my night stand.” “Caitlin’s one bitchy broad.  She threatened certain appendages with bodily harm if it didn’t speak to you soon.” Justin smiled proudly.  “That’s my girl.” “She also said that you’re madly, passionately in love with me.  That you always were and have never stopped.  And that if the past three months were any indication, you would never stop.”  Brian looked at Justin knowingly. “I do.  I am.  And I won’t.”  Justin whispered.  He then smiled at Brian and kissed his neck gently. “Me too, Sunshine.”  Brian kissed the top of Justin’s head.  “Me too.” At the bright smile that Brian was suddenly graced with seeing, the fireworks didn’t quite seem so impressive after all. The End. 4/21/04