SHMORGASBOARD!
Shrimp-Squishy and unpleasant. Sort of like fat sex.
Diet Mt. Dew-I get withdrawl symptoms if I don't drink this all the time. It's so fucking tasty.
AskANinja.com-Love it!
Mushrooms-I used to hate the shit out of you. Although I could never love you, you aren't the horrible piece of ungody feces I once thought. Good job.
Legend of Zelda-The Windwaker
This game is fucking sweet. Sure, it looks like it may be made for little kids, but this shit is deep, bro. Deal with it.
TV Shows!
Heroes-Like the X-men, but shitty and boring.
30 Rock-Thought it would suck, but it's not too bad.
Grey's Anatomy-Never seen it.
ER-This slop is still on TV?
King of Queens-Proof that there is no God.
Top Model-Addicted to this shit. What can I say? I love stupid, ultra-thin bitches. (Except you, Cari Dee!)
Deal or No Deal-It's like Groundhog's Day for primetime gameshows.
Review: The Maury Show
I'm not sure if I've ever expressed in my unblog how much I love Maury. I do. It's my favorite show. Fantastic. This show makes me feel so much better about myself. Thank you pregnant teenagers! Thank you crazy phobia-having people! Thank you ambiguous she-hims!!!!!
I love you all.
Lays Light (with Olestra)
I know what some of you are saying, "Don't eat the Olestra! It will give you anal leakage!!!!" While I appreciate your concern, I'd have to tell you to go fuck yourself because these chips taste WONDERFUL. There is NO fat in them (that's the Olestra, baby.) Sure, I may fart weird or take greasy dumps,but it's a small price to pay. Leakage hasn't happened yet, but I welcome it because these chips are so good, I don't care. That's right, I do not care if my ass leaks. Eat one. You'll find out.
Take-5 Candy Bar
Though you cannot see, Caramel, Peanuts, and Pretzels (Chocolate and Peanut Butter will come out the other end later) are all flying out of my mouth in disgust and bewilderment.Tears are coming out of my eyes, not from pain or the projectile puke, but of sadness that the wonderful people at Hershey's made a disappointing and, I'll just say it, ass-gross candy bar.
