The TJs come to our domain...

Ring ring!...Ring ring!..."Hello?" "Hello! Is Will or Ed there?" "This is Ed, who's this?" "It's Dani!" "Oh God..." and so started the conversation which brought the TJs to Britain. They came on an EasyJet flight from Charleoi in Belgium, and took the bus from London to get to Bath. They were in our home, they were in the west country.

Dani and Judge mess about in Charleoi Airport

We knew that they hadn't eaten a proper meal in a while, so we decided to get them drunk. We took them to O'Neils and got them pints of Ale, Bitter and Cider. Dani got trashed on a quarter of a pint of Worthingtin's (suprise suprise) and started to shout to the rest of the pub: "IIII'mmm A virgin! Teehee! In Amsterdam I wassss tempted to geeett a whooore, but it wouldddd havvve beeen for suckin', not for f****n'!!!!! Hahahahahaha!" We gave them chips, and then brought them back to Longbridge Deverill, where they took pictures of the sign (probably unsuccessfuly), and marvelled at the nice beds we had given them. After an afternoon of Playstation 2 (hoorah!), cups of tea and vodka redbull, we had supper and went out in Salisbury (it being a happening Tuesday night).

The idea was to do a pubcrawl, but they were so rat-arsed after 2 pints that we only did about 4 or 5 pubs. Here are some funny pictures.

Jazz (wasted), Dani (hammered), Ted (stone cold sober), Judge (tipsy)

Dani goes 'crayzeegonuts'

Jazz, Ted and I display our 'Blue Steel' looks (C) Derek Zoolander

The evening finished in the Cathedral Hotel Pub, where Dani (by now completely inebriated) approached a gang of 10 English Public School girls (Godolphins Schools for those of you interested), and claimed in his best drunk english accent: "Hellooooo laydiees! My name is Daniiiiiiii! I'm from Longbridge Deverill, just south of Bath, north of Salisbury! I look like Harry Potter!" and with that, the girls got out their lipstick and drew a lightning bolt on his head (a la Harry Potter). We were going to follow them to a nearby club, but considering the strip club was closed, we just went home, and kept Dani out of trouble (after a compulsory visit to Chick-o-land of course!). We returned home, the TJs ate 16 packets of crisps between them, we watched the Playboy Freeview, and then went to bed. Well, Dani didn't. He spent about an hour being sick in the bathroom, meaning that he lost his record, and lost face in front of his Canadian colleagues.

The TJs failed to wake up properly (preferring to sleep through their hangovers), until England vs Nigeria - truly the worst game of the World Cup. How disappointing. They decided that they would go back to London that afternoon, and couldn't stand another night out. We took them back to Bath, where, after a pub lunch and the witnessing of an English footy fan going mental, there were some very emotional goodbyes. We laughed, we cried, we touched each other's nipples, but eventually it was time to leave. Thanks guys, we'll never forget you (and we'll never forget your summer camp story).

The third and final goodbye

The Awards Ceremony

The Award for Jazz Appreciation, Huge Hair and Dramatic Illness - Andrew Damelin

The Award for Drunken Tomfoolery with a rediculous neck-beard - Dani Lipkin

The Award for Random Body Movements and Refusal to Accept any Pearls of English Wisdom - Zack Gallinger

Well done to you all - You did ever so well!

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