Christmas Craft Projects and Patterns
Links are categorized are in this order below (and are probably dead links by now):
EARLY RETIREMENT AND GENERAL FINANCE
DO-IT-YOURSELF OR FREE STUFF
LITERATURE AND ART
SEARCH ENGINE AND AUTO-GENERATOR RELATED
INTERESTING LINKS THAT AREN'T EASILY CATEGORIZED
MATH, SCIENCE, AND NEWS RELATED
ONLINE TESTS, GAMES AND CARTOONS
SATIRE AND WHATNOT
POP CULTURE AND OTHER DISTURBING RUBBISH
RELIGION AND PARODY THEREOF
JUST GENERALLY WEIRD
NOT YET CATEGORIZED
EARLY RETIREMENT AND GENERAL FINANCE
Creating Livable Alternatives to Wage Slavery
Reason Magazine
Retire Early -- Yes, it is an option, and not as difficult as advertisers, fashion economists, and uberconsumers say it is.
Check the survivability of your portfolio
What Your Health Insurer Doesn't Want You To Know If this link isn't working, click here
Dealing with Telemarketers
financial calculators
different site with similar calculators (back-up)
adbusters
Waking up from the american dream
Center for Retirement Research
Free U.S. tax law help
Downloadable U.S. tax forms for those too lazy to go to the library or post office
Mechanics of the phone psychic scam
Demotivational Posters
Libertarian Party
Online Asset Allocator
How to keep your job through unmaintainable programming.
Prediciting the rise and fall of interest rates by the size of Alan Greenspan's briefcase
If you're economically ignorant this may be the only finance site linked here you can understand
Pudding Man
Protect your identity
Dilbert's Salary Theorem
Bill Gates Net Worth Page -- see also The Wealth Clock
12 auto insurance secrets -- If site isn't working click here
More on withdrawal rate survivability in retirement
DO-IT-YOURSELF OR FREE STUFF
Make your own wallet out of duct tape. It's craptastic.
This son of a bitch beat me to my idea for a home-based business
Find sales and free-after-rebate deals in your area
Find free junk (sometimes good stuff), coupon codes, etc.
Frugality Network
Seasonal best buys
donate to charity for free
uses for table salt
Dollar Stretcher frugality archives
What it costs to run your appliances
Coupon Codes
Misc. Handy Tips
Captain Dave's Survival Guide
The darker side of frugality: dollar store horrors -- Page Two -- Page Three -- Page four
LITERATURE AND ART
Barbara Kruger
Raymond Queneau
Elias Canetti
nouveau roman
William Faulkner
John Steinbeck
Amy Hempel
Cy Twombly Gallery
Wilfred Owen (see also "Dulce Et Decorum Est")
slowly downward
The Society of the Spectacle -- Same book, different translation -- See also Situationist International
I don't feel like looking up any more favored people or art/literary movements. Nobody cares anyway. Oh sure, if they recognize a name they may make a canned comment memorized verbatim from a critical review. Sound bites making for a human connection. I'll play your game you rogue. Just not right now. Wait till I'm sipping overpriced coffee out of an oversized cup while pretending to read a book with an artistic-looking dust jacket . . . which is never.
the essays
Search etexts here for free classic books
Free Online Books from Knowledge Rush
Free Etexts from Project Gutenburg
free e-books
litrix etexts
Internet Classics Archive
Online Dictionaries: several languages
Culture Jammer's Encyclopedia
CIA KUBARK interrogation/torture manual available free here
recommended reading list
free concordance searches of famous books
US Historical Documents online
Bartleby.com (a site named after the scrivener should be far more interesting)
SEARCH ENGINE AND AUTO-GENERATOR RELATED
See the crap people are searching online (refreshes every 15 seconds for maximum loss of faith in humanity)
Same as above, but for a different search engine (refreshes every 30 seconds)
Top 50 searches of lycos this week
Webcrawler Search Hall Of Fame (if you don't feel like waiting 15 seconds)
Another Search Hall of Fame, mostly weird sexual things people ask for
Who would buy that?
check the popularity of any website
find dumb laws still on the books where you live
See what searching hotjobs.com for WHORE will get you
Also try searching wino, loser, god, terrorist, idiot, homo, satan, large ego, etc.
Images of Crisis
If an image search on Google isn't working
US Census Bureau
academic search engine
another academic search engine
looking for a crappy ass website? Google has over 50,000 of them.
Dialectize any text or website you want (want to know what I sound like drunk? Cockneyize this website)
Dead people server
Find a grave, over 3 million records on file
Celebrity Nudity Database
Random URL generator
Almanac of Disasters
Urban legends
bar codes
Get the feeling Dave Barry is phoning it in? Here's the proof.
DIRK can help you play "six degrees" with any object
Online fortune cookies with a more pragmatic outlook
Urban legend combat kit
Surreal Compliment Generator
Autogenerate a complaint letter regarding any person or company.
INTERESTING LINKS THAT AREN'T EASILY CATEGORIZED
Garden Gnome Liberation Front brought to you by some funloving Cacophonists
Santarchy
Do you really need to have kids, you selfish bastard?
Gagpipe (see headlines from all the satire sites like the onion, satirewire, etc.)
LEGO PORN
Watch a funnier remake of the atomic bomb "drop and cover" propaganda newsreels from the 50's
AQ Test
Institute for the Study of the Neurologically Typical See how weird you neurotypicals look.
Deconstructing John Edward (the "crossing over" guy)
Skeptic dot com
The Amazing Randi
stupid court cases, including United States vs Satan (warning: site plays loud background music)
Why We're Sarcastic
Can't think of an excuse? Find one here
nothingness.org
In 1983, 50 corporations controlled American media. Today: 6
Stop drinking milk. Drink more beer. It does a body good.
Over 40,000 Mid-1980's BBS Textfiles, G-Files and Logfiles. Back when pesky graphics didn't clutter my screen and spammers didn't clutter my email. Argh.
MATH, SCIENCE, AND NEWS RELATED
See where all that money has come from in politics
Over 99% of banknotes in London are 'tainted' with cocaine
The mathematics of monkeys and Shakespeare
More OuLiPo: Theory of Relativity In Words of Four Letters or Less
Associated Press
Good hygiene can ruin your immune system. That's why I smell like Vodka. Honest.
Oh the irony -- Microsoft challenges hacking community to crash its Windows 2000 Server, but the server crashes itself before anyone gets a chance
How much is that baby on the internet?
Morbid Fact Du Jour Archives
Eurorail schedules
mathematics are OF THE DEVIL
Microsoft Technical Support vs. The Psychic Friends Network
Link between popularity and lying
Useless knowledge
There aren't enough ads in media already
Bizarre things you can make at home
Researchers Mate Human Cells with Circuitry -- see also this link
Bill Joy is a neoluddite assclown. Robots are going to kill us? And that's a bad thing.
Bill better get some Old Glory Robot Insurance -- see video at this site
How to make crop circles
1001 uses for liquid nitrogen
ONLINE TESTS, GAMES AND CARTOONS
Which Online Personality Test Are You?
Don't know what you believe? Let selectsmart decide for you. (LOTS of tests here)
Which Collosal Death Robot Are You?
Evil Criminal Test
Which Russian Composer Are You? All Roads Lead to Vodka.
Mostly Pointless Cartoons Get your comic strip fix
Are you evil? They say I'm chaotic neutral. I already knew that.
Death Clock: how much time do you have?
Similar to the death clock, but not serious and more time-consuming
Who would you kill?
Test your reaction time
You should name your kid Shite. Or search similar words here.
Brad: the game
Game: throw bricks at people riding micro scooters
Mohsye: home of Monkey Curling and the Frisbee Dog
How many cans of Mountain Dew would it take to kill you?
Pimpwar: the game
SATIRE AND WHATNOT
Pterodactyl Insurance
"Be somebody, or be somebody's fool" starring Mr T
Choose Your Diety
Kids in the Hall transcripts
Annals of Improbable Research
Make an aircraft powered by flies, and await the court subpeona from PETA
Traffic Cone Preservation Society
interview with Bert from prison
Kibo's Strange Site
Processed Worlds back issues
the hold (sometimes interesting, sometimes a steaming load)
Help end the Dihydrogen Monoxide menace in our midst
Shopping carriage abuse prevention
porn titles based on real movies
Official Darwin Awards Site
Tips for making an awards acceptance speech
Pete Cooper: Weird Bloke with a Blog
An in depth evaluation of exactly why socks are evil
The Dull Men Club
God Hates Figs
Surgery for conjoined peeps
The Misanthropic Bitch
POP CULTURE AND OTHER DISTURBING RUBBISH
Oh the humanity. Leave the cats alone, lady.
Pepe Lepew is a sex offender
Ask Dr Honeydew (from the muppets)
The FIRST human cloning company (beat that, copycats!)
The ultimate in minimalist porn: nudestickfugures.com (beat that, supermodels)
Teletubby Funland
The Horrors of the Sydney Sewer System
Gallery of Lawn Ornaments
Brunching shuttlecocks
How many licks does it really take?
rectal foreign bodies
Mr T vs. the world
harry potter books are a homosexual coming of age story?
Or maybe harry's just a satanist
Breakfast cereal character guide
Kool-Aid photo archive
Bad Fads Museum
Cast-off mascots orphanage
Only you can prevent forest fires, so get your ass in gear, bitch
Teletubby Alien Autopsy
Mullets Galore
Movie Cliches List
RELIGION AND PARODY THEREOF
discordian society
principia discordia
church of the subgenius
sacred cow
International Rubber Chicken Society
Rent-a-priest
The rapture index: prophesying the end since 1993.
Listen to various music played backwards
Southern version of the horiscope
Ever wanted to start your own cult, but didn't have the time to research the scriptures?
Praise the Lord! Email your sins to God!"
Behold the Spud o' Christ
SPORRRRRRRRK!
Scenes from the bible, made out of legos. Cause God loves legos.
Black or White Jesus Action Figures
Black Jesus Action Figure
Mormon action figures
Storytime with Satan
Saving our children from the bible
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY. Jesus monster truck will crush your sins.
JUST GENERALLY WEIRD
Panhandler gift certificates
There's always room for Jell-O in Des Moines, Iowa
www.eCrap.com
anonymous answers to life's embarrassing questions
Want to add a shitter to the back of your auto?
Virtual Frog Dissection
World Records of Sex
guy scans all his walmart receipts, why?
adding new captions to antique woodcut prints
Wendy's Stalking Tips (somebody needs to tell Wendy to just take her clothes off for him)
Cat Enema dot com. what. the. fuck?
Make your own lava lamp goo
Computer Screen Scratch 'n' Sniff
Furniture Porn: hot chair-on-chair action
Someone has a patent for 'Method for Exercising a Cat' using a laser pointer.
Cat Scan
Tips on decorating your trailer home
National UFO Reporting Center. Read about UFO sitings in your State.
Self Circumcision Made 'Easy'
Strange uses for Coke
Whipped cream powered racecars: you can eat the exhaust you know, just lick it up off the concrete or sitting room carpet
Melatonin Imbalance as a Biochemical Predisposition to Serial Homicide
NOT YET CATEGORIZED
bastard operator from hell official archives
Louis Farrakhan Sing-A-Long
fractal cow I can't believe he got rid of the "bert is evil" page.
history of stupid people (my ancestors)
CIA for Kids
I wonder if I can get my PhD and get the university to buy me beer? Answer: Yes
buy unclaimed baggage
Yo Mamma!
Psycho squirrels
Scary squirrel world
spam haiku archive
How fast must santa travel?
Thinkgeek.com: stuff for smart masses
Change your astrological sign
Eeyore: why people should stop acting happy
This is where the "you've reached the end of the internet" commercial writers plagiarized from.
Trailer Park Page
Look up Marijuana laws by U.S. state
Final meal requests for criminals about to be killed
The disclaimer: Don't infer too much from the links above.
I made this page one drunken night years ago, and haven't looked back.
"And that, my friends, is the gist." -- Randy the Helpful Pineapple.
Links above last updated: May 2004
Next time links above updated: Probably never (I have a web page?)
"Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame." -- Erica Jong
Now get out