If you be readin this page, you are either a closet voyeur or have too much time on yer hands. GET A JOB, ya lazy swine. Do somethin more important with yer life than readin aboot Willie's mongerin adventures.
Speakin of which.... here are some more.

Feb 20 Popped in tae see me wee sweetie Michelle fer me regular Monday afterrrnoon balling session and was nae too surprised when she blew me off. No, not THAT way, ya dummy, she passed on havin me in. Seems she fergot aboot a doctors appointment or some goddam thing so Willie was back tae cruisin the strip sooner than expected. And at $1.04 a liter, this is nae good news at all.
I wonder what poonin from the bus would be like??? Maybe I should be organizin a carpool fer poonin? A HOV lane on Cordova Street would be bonny fer pickin up the lassies. I'm ginna ring up the Mayor this afternoon tae git the ball rollin on this.
In the meantime, it looks like me regular sessions with Michelle are doon the fuckin drain. It's a pity too, because even though she's somewhat flat-chested, she gives a bloody good fuck.

Feb 26 With regular service from flat-chested Michelle suspended after just one session, it's back tae the tried and true mongerin fer oor Willie. Up and doon the tracks he goes, where he stops, naebody knows. Nae me, that's fer sure. Didny see anything available that was worthy of a fuck, which means nothing that stood up on it's own hind legs. Back tae the shed fer a re-think.
I scanned the craigslist Erotic Services listing fer something in me price range and found nowt. Then, like crack on the jowl, it hit me. If ye canny get Mohammed tae the moontain, bring the moontain tae Mohammed! With that piece of nonsense rattlin aroond in me heed, I placed the following advert on the craigslist.

"Looking to spend 100. Any ideas on how?
It's Monday lunchtime and I have 100 dollars to spend but I'm having trouble thinking of ways to spend it. Are there any ladies out there with suggestions? Let me know if you do."

Bloody hell! Me ad wasnae up for 20 minutes before I received an e-mail response from Shelly Spitz of all people, who made it quite clear that full service was on the board fer that amoont. I wrote back immediately and received this:

"I charge 150 for full service with greek and 100 for just fs. 70 for a bbbj and 50 for a cbj. This in me. If you are interested you can call me at...."
Uh, no thank you darlin. Nae quite what I was hopin fer.
I hoped I could do better fer less so it was back tae the low track with me. I met up with a lassie I knew from way back when. I canny remember herr name but she was up fer a trip tae the shed, she was. Dropped 60 on her ferr half and half with a side order of DATY. She was a pleasant enough roll in the hay but only one shot on goal if you please when Willie was clearly up fer seconds. A compromise was reached with a 25 dollar bareback knob-gobblin which ended up with herr wipin me buckshot off herrr grill. Ooops, sorry aboot that, hen. No, I'm not really.
I wish I could remember what her name is because she put on a bonnie performance. She has a nice shape on her. Herr arse may be a tad on the saggy side but that's more cushion fer the pushin and she gave a very good blowjob. I only got to fuck her mish but I got the impression that more was on the menu if the price is right. I'll be keepin an eye oot fer herr again.

Feb 27 This craigslist advert may just be the ticket tae findin the odd diamond in the roogh. Late last night, I received an e-mail from another lassie willin tae put oot fer 100 dollars. After bandying a numberrr of e-mails back and forth, this sweet wee thing made the offer tae "provide greek and bjs and sex, hjbs, NO kissing and you must wear a condom." What else would a man wish for than a bint that takes it in every conceivable pocket?

A couple of things aboot her letters bothered me though. First of all, her name on the e-mails said Kim but the name on the photo that she attached was labelled Jeannie. There was also this. The first e-mail that she sent said, "I was wondering if you found a way to spend your 100? I haven't done this but need a way to pay my bills." In a later e-mail, we discussed the use of protection in which she replied, "I know what you mean. People wonder how they got it, (HIV) or why. Well I get checked very often."
I wonder why a non-pro would need tae get checked often? Willie's scam alert was ringin away with those little nuggets. Somethin else that didny sit right with me was her willingness tae take one up the arse but she made it clear that a wee peck was off-limits. She may be a jewel. I dinny ken because I never went oot tae see her. I do have contact information should any of you poofters wish tae give herrr a try.
This mornin I registered with a pooner's review board called TERF. For some balmy reason, I canny post the link on this page but ye can find the board at www dot terf dot ca. My terf nickname is Oor Willie so if you are a memberrr there, by all means, drop me a wee note tae say hello. Especially if you are a lassie and you work on the cheap.

Mar 2
March roared in like the proverbial lion, with wind and snow. Fuckin hell, who needs this? Willie needs tae be takin his business tae the Bahamas. I need tae be livin in a place where an overcaot is just another name fer a condom.
One good thing aboot the beginnin of a new month is that the end of the old month isny that far from the minds of the lassies. It's a great time tae be mongerin, even if the weather is shite. With that wisdom in mind, I just happened, tae be cruisin aroond Michelle's neighboorhood aboot the same time she drops her wean off at school. And there she was, paradin doon the street with her heed down and her coat cinched up tae her chin tae keep oot the cold. She didny notice oor Willie until I called her over. After a wee chat, I asked if she happened tae need a few bob tae tide her over? Indeed she did but was nervous aboot what the neighboors would think seein a strange man visitin in the afternoon. Strange? Me?? Bloody hell.
I asked if she wanted tae go tae me shed instead? Aye, she would but she was reluctant tae git inta me car here and now fer the same reason so I parked on Hastings Street and waited. Sure enough, here she comes aboot five minutes later.
I planted 50 dollars onto me coffee table then waited fer herr tae come oot of the loo. I was startin tae think this was a bad idea when oot she comes, dressed in nothing but her knickers. Willie got rid of those quick enough and it was onta the bed with her. She started with some heed bobbin until Willie was ready tae go. On went the Durex which I believe are supplied free of charge tae the lassies by the Health Department. Thank you Taxpayers.

I lay on me back with a grin on me chops, watchin this wee waif settlin doon on me stiff cock. She rode the oopright pony for aboot 10 minutes before we switched tae doggy. Is there a better sight in all the world than a naked woman on herr hands and knees, peerin o'er her shoulder, waitin tae be fucked? Well, maybe watchin yer 20-1 longshot crossin the line first but this is a close second. Pounded her snatch deep and hard. Stopped and switched tae mish. "Knees up, Miisy!" Finished her off buried tae the hilt.
We talked some more aboot a regular engagement and she seems good fer it as long as it's at me shack and no in front of the pryin eyes of the neighbooors. That's fine with Willie. I don't give a fuck what me neighbooors think. I'm nae sure any of them CAN think fer that matter.

Mar 12 There is a new message posted on me guestbook by someone callin himself Stiffy asking me why I haven't posted in the last 10 days. There are a number of reasons why no and I'll tell you what they are.

First, me regular Monday roll in the sack with flat-chested Michelle has turned inta a hit and miss pain in the arse. Another no-show last Monday with the bitch tellin me that the wean was home with a runny nose. Back when Willie was a wee lad, a runny nose wouldny have stopped him from goin tae school. Marchin 5 miles through rain and snow.... och, who am I kiddin? Anyway, no luck there.
I ran a couple of loops aroond the low track the other night but didny see anything that caught me fancy. I saw an old favorite from days gone by wavin me doon. Her name is Julie and she looks like 30 miles of bad road. She had a big pock mark on her mug that at first glance made herr look like she had three nostrils. I wouldny go near her now with a rented dick.
And by the way Stiffy, you panty-sniffin poodle-walker, dinny you be callin Willie a frenchman if you be knowin what's good fer ya! Keep a civil tongue in yer heed, ye bloated gas bag! Oh... wait a second, you said BLOG, nay frog. Pardon me.

Mar 13 I was inspired by that wooden-heeded masterbator Stiffy tae go oot fer a cruise last night. It seems tae me that the tracks, the low in particular, are nae what they used tae be. I dinny ken why but as luck would have it, I came across a stout native woman by the name of Lisa on Hastings near the Patricia Hotel. She wasnay fat by any means but certainly no one of the scrawny malnourished crackheeds that infest that area like maggots on a deed cat.

She directed me tae a grimy apartment complex just up the street from the Canadian Tire. Her flat was filthy, with clothes strewn aboot and dishes piled in the sink. 30 dollars went tae the lassie and Willie's troosers went tae the floor. Next thing I know, I'm perched like Lord Pomperoy in a LazyBoy with stout Lisa fillin her gob with me cock.
She'd taken off her teeshirt but left on her bra. I couldny help but notice a tattoo of a wee bird peekin oot from under the cup. She had a dandy pair of tommyknockers on herr and I made sure I got a healthy squeeze of them before being ushered oot the door. It was all very mechanical but a nice mechanical nonetheless. Dear sweet Lisa is a bonnie cocksucker indeed. Would I repeat? Aye, probably, but just fer another blowjob. I dinny think I would give herr a fuckin unless I was drunk.
Thank you Stiffy fer gittin Willie off the settee and back in the game.

Mar 18 Saturday night and all the world is Irish except You Know Who. There isny a soul on God's green earth dafter than an Irishman, unless it's the once a year wannabes, lookin fer an excuse tae get drunk on green beer. And there's yer proof right there! Only an Irishman would be daft enough tae put food colourin in his beer. A Scot, on the other hand, doesny need a reaon tae get drunk so it's off tae the Legion I go. With Irish music blarin in the backgroond, (it was actually "I'se The Bye", a Newfie folksong, nae that these bloody idjits would know the difference,) Willie settled in with a Molson's.

The Legion is hardly known as a grand pick up spot fer pooners but on this night, Willie lucked inta a fortyish year old German divorcee oot fer a wee bit of adventure. She wore a frilly white dress with green trim and a deep scooped neckline that revealed plenty of cleavage. She had a ridiculous green plastic hat on her heed that made her, and everyone else wearin it, look like a damned fool. She'd come with a group of friends but was on her own. Willie introduced himself. She said her name was Irene. As the night wore on, Willie turned on the charm and invited her tae the shed fer a nightcap. It wasny long before we were gropin on the settee, like a pair of teenagers.

I dinny ken when the last time she's had a cock in er but she went after Willie's like a pair of Bobbie's after the last donut. When I reached fer her thigh, she couldn't hike oop her dress fast enough tae give Willie access tae the kitty. Rub-a-dub dub, I'm rubbin her fud, first over her panties then under the elastic legband. While I'm polishin her pussy, she's wrapped her hand aroond me hardon, squeezin it like she's chokin a chicken. It didny take long fer herr tae start moanin and carrying on. I'm sure it was the first time she'd had a hand on her pud, other than her own, in a long long time.
Deep french kisses while I'm drawin the zipper of her frock doon. As I said, she had big tits that sagged whe her bra came off but what the hell, she is a bit long in the tooth. Nae fat but certainly nae a spinner fer sure. Has a bit of a pot on her which is also tae be expected I suppose. Laid her on the bed and settled doon between her legs tae investigate. Quite a bit of hair on her snatch, something that I'm nae too fond of. She was gurglin and groanin and pullin me hair all the time I'm tastin the pie.

I straddled her heed but she wasny keen on slurpin the noodle so I mashed the puppies aroond me cock and sampled some Russian style. Five minutes of that was enough fer me so the rubber went on and Willie went deep. I fucked her mish, then got her on herr knees and fucked herr like the bitch she was. Finished her off in mish with me tongue in her gob and me hand tightly fastened on her tit. We rested fer a wee bit then got back inta it again, this time with her on the top fer a bit before I pounded her hard and fast from behind.
I invited her tae stay fer breakfast, hopin fer another go in the mornin but she wanted tae go home. I drove her tae herr hoose and got a phone number with a promise tae see me again. All in all, it was a great time mostly because she was free. She wasny all that comfortable with anything other than flat on herr back but I've got nae poblem with that, as long as I'm the one doin the deed. I'll do herr again if given the chance.

Mar 21 If I live tae be a hoondred years.... which isny that far off now that I think of it, I'll never understand what goes on in a woman's heed.

Last night I rang oop the lassie I'd met at the Legion. Would she fancy a fish 'n chip supper? Aye, she would indeed so away we went to a special wee place that Willie knows aboot in White Rock. The chips are fresh cut, the fish thick and tasty, all at an affordable price.
Next on the agenda was a stroll along the pier. It was a cold and blustery night so we dinny venture too far but far enough that we had tae snuggle close against the cold. Off tae the pub tae warm oop then back tae her her place fer.... a peck on the cheek? "But, but, but..." I'm stammerin but even though I'd ridden her like a palomino just a coople of nights before, nothin but cod was on the menu fer Willie tonight. Fuckin hell.

Mar 26 So Wednesday night didny finish off the way I'd hoped but on the other hand, I didny get me face slapped or me ears boxed like I usually do when oot fer a date. It came as no surprise tae anyone except Stiffy from East Van that a follow oop was in order. And on Saturday night, Willie learned a valuable lesson aboot seducing women. Here it is. Copy this doon.

One way you can do this is by no callin herr bitch. Another is tae suffer through some of the things the lassies like tae do. It may come as a shock tae some of you lads oot there but there are some women that don't enjoy swillin beer and playin darts at the local. Some would rather stay at home with a rental film and bottle of expensive wine. That's the situation Willie foond himself in on Saturday night, sippin merlot and tryin desparately tae nae snore through a chick flick. Women love a good cry which is good because it provides the man with a bonnie opportunity tae comfert the lassie. A wee rub on herr back and yer on ter way tae the promised land.

Tell them what they want tae hear. Tell then how lovely they look, how much you enjoyed their film and compliment them on their musical tastes. I mean who doesny like Enrique Iglesias, that greasy-faced pansy bastarrd. And never, never, never paint yerself inta a corner by bein too truthful. Fer example, the last time I was oot on a date, the lassie asked me what I had in mind? When I told her I had a mind tae jammin me cock doon her throat, fer some reason, she wasn't quite as accommodating as you'd imagine.
Back tae Saturday. I invited Irene from the Legion ta go oot fer supper. I suggested Chinese noodles but she turned aroond and suggested a home cooked meal at her hoose instead. That was fine with me because...

(A)- it was cheaper and

(B)- I wasny in the mood fer cat.

"Could I pop roond at aboot 3 in the afternoon tae run her tae the Safeway?"
"Aye, I could," knowing full well that any hope of a free meal just went doon the drain. We bought a roaster chicken, spuds, carrots and a can of that God-awful jellied cranberry crap that everyone hates. Next it was off tae the liquor store where two bottles of Aussie red went onta the Mastercard. Last stop was Rogers Video. She didny even cast a glance at Ultimate Fighter DVD's or the caber tossing instructional video, instead searched in vain for a new release that would satisfy her inclination. No such luck as all the films she was interested in were oot so she settled on Finding Forrester, with Sean Connery.
Back tae Irene's hoose where the wine was opened and the chicken put in the oven. Irene is a very good cook and it was a welcome change from the tin of Heinz beans that I usually have. More wine when we settled in front of the telly. It wasny a bad film, probably because it was centered aroond a Scot. When Connery died, Irene started tae blubber. Willie sprang inat action with a wee bit of consolin on the settee and before you know it, my tongue's in her gob and me hand is on her thigh.
No peck on the cheek on this night. As soon as her bloose and bra were off, Willie was on her teat like a newborn goat. I must tell you that Irene has a lovely set of funbags on her and loves tae have them handled. Willie was more than willin to oblige. Her troosers and bloomers came off in a flash. That task completed, it was kitty tastin time. Lovely.
I was goin tae pork herr right there on the settee but instead we adjourned tae the boudoir, which was far more comfortable. I still canny get her ta put the woody in her mooth but she did get oop on top fer a bit before takin me load from behind. After a brief pause and another sip of red, we were at it again. Something I never get tired of is havin the lassie's pins over me shoulders while I'm bangin her fud. I love tae see their breasts shake and wobble every time I pump the epcker in and oot. When mornin came, Willie did likewise, a straight missionary fuck with her legs wrapped tightly aroond me waist. After that there was a wee bit of touchy-feely in the shower we shared then it was off tae the shopping mall fer Irene tae buy some new clothes. Once we got back tae her hoose I had herr try on the new frock she just bought. The great thing aboot dresses is that they give easy access tae the crotch. I had herr pressed oop against the wall and gave her a right royal fingerin. I wanted tae fuck her standin oop like that but while the imagination was working fine, the rest of me had packed it in. Och well, somethin else to put on me "to do" list.
That was two days ago and I'm still walkin aboot bandy-legged. For the price of a chicken and two bottles of wine, one of which I drank meself, it proved tae be a great weekend indeed.

Later March 26 After I'd posted the events of Saturday night, I happened tae be drivin through the low track, nae lookin fer anything, just on me way home. I saw a slim dishwater blonde at the side of the road that looked vaguely familiar so I circled aboot fer a closer look. It turned oot tae be an old favorite of mine from days gone by. Her name is Doreen and I've posted aboot her before. She looked pretty good until she got in me car. Her eyes were sunken inta her heed and she was gaunt. Her voice cracked when she spoke.
I drove tae an old parking spot fer a wee chat. I still didny intend fer anything tae happen other than tae catch oop on current events but when I took her in me arms, she felt so nice. Me hand had a mind of it's own as it went under her top and inta her brassiere. I was shocked tae find barely anything in there at all. Now Doreen has never been overly endowed with the womanly goods but I could easily put her entire tit between me thumb and me fore finger. Och well, I played with it anyway, just fer the hell of it. I put her seat back tae make it more comfertable fer the both of us. With that job completed, it seemed a good idea tae check oot her puss. Her rail thin legs came apart very easily, givin Willie a clear path tae the snatch. Popped the button and went inside fer a closer inspection. Nae panties tae worry aboot which didny surprise me at all. Nae hair on her fud either.

With me finger planted firmly in her crack, I asked her what she needed tae get through the night. I was told 40. Everyone on God's green earth is here fer a purpose. Doreen's purpose is tae suck cock. Who am I tae mess with the Almighty's master plan? Doon goes me troosers and doon goes Doreen. It was soft and sloppy, just the way I like it. I meant her technique, ya daft bastarrd, nae me Johnson. That was stiff as a pipe, thank you very much. Slow and steady until I was ready tae pop. "Hang on a sec, hen."
I put her back in her seat and rummaged aboot in me glovebox fer a skin tight. Luckily I foond one under the owners manual. She was a wee bit hesitant aboot peelin off her blue jeans did it with a wee bit of coaxin. It's much easier tae fuck in Irene's queen size than it is in the front seat of a car but being the resourceful pooner that I am, the deed was accomplished by winding her leg aroond the stick shift. The car's stick shift, ya bloose wearin poodle-walker, nae mine. Despite motherhood and the life that she leads, Doreen is surprisngly tight where it counts. Willie provided all the effort fer the task. Doreen just lay with her legs apart, her hands restin on me hips, hoping that the coppers wouldn't sneak oop behind us.
As I was droppin her off, we made plans tae keep in touch. She's staying at the Brandiz but I don't know which room. I won't bother trackin her doon but if I see her on the stroll, I'll probably fuck her again.

Mar 30

It's been a very quiet week on the home front since the marathon session with Irene last weekend. Since that time, the both of us have been laid oop with a nasty heed cold. In different beds. I gamely offered tae come over with an orally ingested protein suppliment but it was politely but firmly declined. My suggestion tae apply the Vicks VapoRub tae her cheest was also rejected. She didny think that would do herr any good. It wasn't intended tae help herr

There is a linked website posting in the Terf Lounge section that calculates the precise time that you are supposed tae die. It uses factors like age, body mass and lifestyle to come oop with yer time of departure. Accordin tae the math, Willie shoulda been deed three weeks ago. Based on the poondin in me heed, they may well be right.
You can find oot when you are aboot to kick the bucket by clicking the banner.

April 1 With Irene and Yers Truly both laid oop in their sick beds and me debit card on life support, it was a poonin-less weekend fer me. All I could manage was a wee bit of web surfin. And what did I happen tae find? STIFFY'S WORLD! What the fuck is this? It turns oot that East Van Stiffy, the poofter that fills oop me guestbook with his nonsensical blatherin has a blog page of his own. You can have a peek at it by clickin right here.

April 4 There's a lot tae be said fer findin yerself in a semi-normal relationship. I popped roond tae visit me new friend Irene last night now that we're both on the mend. She has an early mornin so I didny stay too long but long enough ta give herr a right proper fuckin in front of the telly. While some ponsy poofter was natterin aboot fish an chips, Willie was helpin himself tae some home cookin of his own.

I've given oop all hope of ever gettin me tong in er gob and unless she's flat on herr back with her heels dug inta the back of me thighs, screwin her is no likely tae happen either. I've been able ta coax herr onto her hands and knees fer a wee bit of doggie but that's it. Ah what the fuck. As long as her knees come apart with a wink and a nod, who am I ta bitch? She does like tae have herr kitty taken care of though. She'd hold me heed doon there all night if I let her. I'm thinking of goin tae the plastic surgeon tae have me ears fashoned inta a pair of handles tae make it easier fer the both of us. Lots of hair though. Bloody hell. I'm sure that if I look hard enough I'll find fuckin Livingstone deep in the jungle. She's got a birthday comin oop smartly and I'm thinkin aboot givin herr a Weedeater tae tackle the thick thatch I need ta contend with every time I go after the muffin.
I only got the one kick at the can last night but the weekend is fast approachin and plans are afoot fer anoother get taegther on Saturday night. If it's another version of last weekend, I'll need tae stock oop on me vitamins and Cialis ta git me through in one piece.

April 8 Happy fuckin Easterrr tae all you poonin polliwogs oot there. I hope the Easterr Bunny left ye lots of wee treats. Easter is supposed ta be a day tae commemorate the resurrection of Christ. How it evolved inta a feast of chocolate eggs is beyond me. Probably started by some degenerate doon and oot dentist with a fetish fer dressin oop as a fuckin rabbit. Play on mate, play on.
There are two phrases that strike the fear of God inta every Scottish male. They are,

1- "Yer warranty has expired."
2- "It's that time of the month."

Poor old Willie got a dooble knockoot on this past Saturday night, much tae me dismay. Apparently the Ford Motor Company of Dearborn Michigan doesn'y have the bollocks tae stand behind the products they produce. Ford told me that I was shit oot of luck, that they would no pay fer the repairs when the transmission of me car fucked oop. "Sorry Willie, yer warranty's expired." Fuckin hell! It's only 24 years old, it is. Barely broken in.
Next oop was anoother dose of bad news fer yer intrepid reporter when Irene informed yers truly that there would be nae game of Hidin The Kipper this weekend because of the monthly scourge. After the quickie fuck in front of the telly last Wednesday, I was really lookin forward to a marathon session. Insteed, I got a cuddle and a peck and I'm oot the door, runnin like a thief tae catch the #14 Hastings.

April 11 Five days and a bucket of money later, I'm back on the road again. Transit in this city is nae fer anyone oot tae get from point A tae point B. It certainly puts a cramp on the hobby, that's fer sure. With a sense of new foond freedom and a wee bit of cash, I'm off tae have a peek at the various tracks in the doontoon.
I noticed a slim native girl with long black hair and a familiar look tae her. I couldny place where I'd seen her from, other than the obvious, so I took a chance and picked her oop. She said her name was Crystal but it didny ring a bell. Not that I give a shit what she calls herself. Tomorrow it will be something else anyway. She asked if I was lookin fer company? I told her I just might be, if I was sure she wasn't a copper. I always give that same standard answer. It was pretty obvious that this one was nae with the law but tae prove it, she has ta give Willie a feel of tit. That's never a bad thing, if yer ask me. That settled, she asked me fer 50. I told her I had 30. She countered with 40 and I told her I had 30. Done, so off we go to me parkin spot.

From that point on it was a struggle all the way. She dinny want me to feel her tits but I gave em a good healthy squeeze anyway while we hashed it oot. She wasny keen on givin a blowjob withoot a cover but gave in when I asked fer me money back. If there is such a thing as a lousy blowjob, this girl gives it. She had her hand wrapped aroond me short arm, taking only an inch to an inch and a half in her mooth. Enough of this nonsense. I finally took her fist away and gave her face a decent pumpin. No way this one wanted a moothful so at the first sign of eruption she tried ta pull away. I've been doon this road a time or two before and was prepared fer the bailoot. The first spurt coated her lips, the next one got herr right in the eye. The rest made a nice spray pattern on her throat and chin.
She was no very happy with the Scotsman and made her displeasure quite clear. What she expected from a blowjob, I dinny ken but she got what she bargained fer. She demanded a tip which I declined to give her. Insteed of takin her back doontoon, I dropped her off at Hastings and Clark. She slammed the door and stormed off as I right turned and heeded fer home.
As I passed the 7-11, I saw a wee chinese woman standin at the corner at Templeton. She looked tae be aboot 5 foot nothing and cute as a button. I wish I'd seen her first insteed of the daffy native woman. Next time oot, I'm goin tae be lookin fer her first thing.

Fuckin hell! I'm oot of bandwidth again. I'm either goin tae have ta keep it in me troosers or start another page.

If yer be feelin the need tae share yer stories of yer own triumphs in poonin, this be the place fer ya. Keep it brief, yer bastarrds. I dinny have all day fer this shite, ya know.

Ya daft bastarrrds can also e-mail Willie by clicking on the e-mail link.