"Bonjourrrrr, you cheese-eatin' surrender monkeys! Welcome tay Willie's Poon Page. Poonin is sex with prostitutes for all you uneducated bastarrrrrds. Ya pick up the lassie ya fancy, ya give her the puddin' and ya put her on the currrrrrb. Does it get any better than that?

Aye therrrre's nothin Willie loves more than a 20 dollar cock-gobblin or plantin the bone in the backseat of the carrrrr and here in Vancouver there is nay shortage of lassie's willin tay suck up yer noodle err offer up the bearded clam if the price be right.

The other thing Willie loves is haggis. Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep's stomach. Tastes as good as it sounds! But this is me poonin' page not me haggis page. This page chronicles some of Willie's adventures on the prowl. I hope ye enjoy this site as much as Willie enjoys fucking the lassie's tay make it possible.

Now some o you panty-wearin poodle walkers may have a hard time followin along with Willies's accent. It isny my fault that you bastarrrds are uneducated but tae help you fuckers oot, I've included a Scottish dictionary. To access it, just click on the picture.


Aug 16 First entry in me wee website. After drivin aroond fer over an hour, I saw a street girl from days gone past. Or rather, she saw me. Her name is Julie and I vaguely remember her suckin me cock aboot a year ago. That night, I picked her up from the Shell station at Hastings and Victoria Drive. She was fat, grubby and high as a kite. Perfect fer Willie.
Tonight she called tae me from the doorway of the Japanese marrrket at Clark and Venables as I was waitin fer the light tae change. In she gets and asks me how I've been? I've nae idea who she is until she reminds me. She's looking fitter than I remember her. After the preliminaries she asks me if I'd fancy a wee suck?
She lives in a filthy hovel on Alexander Street but it was indoors and away from pryin eyes. She asked fer twenty but I gave herrr an extra fiver fer old times sake. Off with her top and straight doon ta business with her. I put me hands in her greasy hair to set the pace and all went well thereafter. She may look like yesterdays breakfast but she sure does know how tae suck a cock. And Julie's a swallower if you are scoring at home.
I played with her tits fer a wee while after but she was eager fer Willie tae fuck off. "Come back tomorra," she tells me " and yer can fuck me if yer fancy." A tempting notion but now Willie is skint until payday so I'll have ta wait until then.

Aug 27 It was 3:30 in the bloody mornin when ah put the wood tae a late 30ish early 40ish single Mum oot fer a stroll on Hastings near the PNE. She had a flat that overlooked the parking lot but Willie was too busy watching his cock play hide 'n seek in Mummy's snatch ta care aboot that. She had a long gaunt face on her, a thin trim body but a pleasant pair of boobies on er.
Inta the hoose and she's inta the action in no time at all. Bloose and brassiere off in a flash, troosers and knickers quickly followed. She had a mattress on the floor o her living room which was convenient enough. She's got a moothful of Willie before you can say blowjob but quicker than I like it, she's slippin on the raincoat.
I'm fuckin herrr doggie style when all of a sudden I hear the toilet flush! Fuckin hell! All I need is fer the waens to wander in tae watch Mummy takin it from behind. They musta known better because nae one popped their heed aroond the corner to see what the commotion was. Blew me load and was out the door, all in a tidy 18 minutes. She wanted 25 dollars but I gave her 40 instead. You're such a philantropist, Willie!

Sept 12 Picked up a half native girl at Cordova and Princess. She dinna seem too butt ugly at the time but once she had her clothes off I was wonderin if I'd lost me mind in pickin her up. She had more than a paunch belly, a pair of small droopy tits that lay flat as piss on a plate and an attitude to match. Plenty of stretch marks and a nasty scar from belly button to her pud. And speakin of her "womanly charrrrms," she had a beaver pelt on her that would make Radison weep ferrr joy.
She wasnae in the hoose two minutes before she's greetin that it's time tae go. I lay doon on me cot and waited and waited and waited until finally I told herr tae get on with it. She wanted a condom but I told her nae fer a blowjob and she wasnae too happy aboot that. When she started moanin again, I'd had enough. Got off me bed and put me money back in me troosers. Lucky ferr me she dinny have a chance tae put it away.
That got herr atention and soon enough she's on her knees with her lips wrapped snugly aroond me short arm. From that point on, she didny have much tae say. Mind you, with me cock jammed doon her throat, she wasnae in any position tae do anything more than gargle, which she did once Willie let loose in her mooth.
All in all. a mediocre blowjob, if there is such a thing. Not worth the 40 I paid herr. If I see her again, I'm givin her a pass.

Sept 13 Saw the same native girl from yesterday but waved and drove on. Instead, picked up a mini skirt with an orange afro on Clark Drive. Parked behind a warehoose on Francis and let her at it. No a very good blowjob. She was too fast and too much suction and just when she'd get it right, she'd stop. Enough o this bullshite. I put herrr seat back then straddled her heed and face fucked her. She wasny keen on a mouthful of cum but what was she expecting? Candy?

Sept 19 Three bad dates in a row! Maybe I should take oot me glass eye and give it a wipe because I'm having trooble pickin any winners this week.
Picked up a native girl at Hastings and Campbell.
In she gets. How do you do? Felt her tits to see if she's trooble. No much to feel but off we go. I parked in the same spot an wound up with the same problem. Solved the problem with the same solution. Doon goes the passengers seat, up goes Willie. The neighbooors must be gettin tired of seein Willie's bare arse peekin throught the windshield. She tried pullin away at the big moment but I held herrr firm and she spilled nary a drop.

Oct 10. Cruised around on the weekend and found a real sweetheart on Clark Drive just south of Hastings. She said her name was Darlene or somethin like that. She's about 5'6" with shoulder length curly hair. Mid 30's. Nice looking but nary a handful of tits. I picked her up and got a fantastic bbbj in me carrrrr. Very soft and slow, just the way Willie likes it.

Oct 21 I e-mailed what looked like an interesting advert on CL. Oot to Surrey I go but no one is home when I get there. Bloody hell.
Saw an interesting woman hitchhiking just before the Patullo Bridge. Long blonde hair, slim, maybe 19 or 20. I picked her up. I chatted her up. I waited for her to ask the inevitable question. "Are you looking for a date?" She didn't ask. Dropped her off on Kingsway. Strike two.
Cruised arooond the low track. Nothing that struck me fancy until I see a slim 20ish native girl put oot her thumb. Willie's at the red light...waiting...waiting..... bloody hell! Some bastard in a SUV scoots in and picks her up. I cursed the SUV and my rotten luck for three blocks until an unmarked LE bastarrrrd turned on his flashing lights and pulled over the SUV. Fuck it, I'm oot of here.
Go home to find an e-mail from the one in Surrey. "Why did you stand me up," she wants to know? Willie went to the wrong apartment. Sometimes you just canny win.

Nov 13. Maybe it's because it's a Monday night or maybe it's the weather but poonin on the various tracks just isn't what it used tae be. I circled aboot fer a wee while and saw nothin tae me fancy. Eventually saw a hatchet-faced bint with a mullet at Campbell and Cordova. She had a wee mini skirt on and I passed herrr a couple of times hopin' she would take the hint and give oor Willie a flash. Nae happenin so off I go tae check oot the middie.
Saw a pick up truck with it's lights oot backin doon the alley behind the Waldorf. Circled the block and.... aha... saw the tell tale sillouette of the passenger divin inta the lap of the driver. Two minutes later, I timed the bastard, up she pops an off they go. Circled aroond the block again tae have a keek at her BUT SHE WAS GONE! Fuckin disappeared like a fart in the wind. When I saw that there wasny a soul on Clark Dr., I began tae think that the hatchet faced bint in the mullet wasnae that bad afterall so off tae the low track I go. She's naewhere tae be foond.
I was pullin inta the Chevron fer some petrol and there on Raymur is the hatchet-caed bint. Squeeze three dollars worth inta the tank and went off tae pick up me sweetie. Gone!! Fuckin hell! Twice more aroond the loop. Saw a Bobbie in an unmarked givin me the eye and that was that fer Willie's night of poonin. Went back tae me shack fer some Cheetos, a fine film and a stiff drink tae go with me stiff dink.

Nov 30. There was a post from Midnight Rambler on International Sex Guide that caught me eye. The title was "A gem from Craigslist" This guy was boasting about sharing a bubble bath with some bimbo before banging her upside doon and back again. One part in particular caugh my eye.
"I spread her legs and that was the last she saw of my face for quite a while. Moans and groans, (she's) guiding my head and really seemed to be getting into it. I pop back up and re-introduce myself. Condom goes on, Willie goes in."
Willie goes in??? Fucking imposterrrrr! Willie was nay in but Willie wrote her an e-mail and soon enough he was eatin the pie and bouncin her heed offn the heedboard. Midnight Rambler was right. A sweet lassie that left Willie as limp as a Chinaman's noodles. Cost me 150 bucks but in the end Willie was completely blewed, screwed and tattood. I plan to see her again and soon!

Dec 10 A cold blustery night, a wee waif of a girl taps on me winda while I'm waitin fer a green light. She asks if I'd like a date? I said no.
Then she surprised me, and Willie doesny get surprised often when she asks me if I have a warm place fer her to sleep? Hmmmm. In she gets and off we go to Willie's shed. She's a tiny wee thing, maybe 25, nae older but she surprised me again when she took off her coat an presented a decent sized pair of tommy knockers.
Inta Willie's cot fer some missionary fucking. A decent fuck. At least she put a wee bit of effort inta it. After that, she snuggled in fer the night, her bare arse pressed agin me crotch, me hand wrapped around her teat. After a wee kip, Willie's in her again, this time from behind. Morning comes and so does Willie, mish at first, then with her legs slung over me shoulders while Willie's poundin like a jackhammer. Three fucks for a warm bed, a hot shower and a plate of scrambled eggs n toast. A great night indeed!

Dec 14 Pickin up a free one the other day left our Willie with food in the larder and money on the books so why no indulge in a wee bit of recreation ta make the week complete? Nae reason not ta so off I go in search of poon. I gave Cordova and Gore a good hard look but me wee lassie from the other night was naewhere ta be seen. Maybe some other lucky bastarrd is dippin his wick in Willie's leftovers tonight? Too bad because she was a lovely fuck.
Not to be outdone though is Sheila who made great efforts to point out that she was METIS! Willie doesn't give a fuck aboot that but he did fancy the fact that she had an ample bosum and a more than ample backside. 50 bucks fer a half n half and off we go tae me shed.
Our Sheila wasny quite as appealing after her clothes hit the floor. Her breasts hung like a pair o water filled balloons and her stretch marks were quite noticable. Och well, this isny a beauty contest so with a wee nudge on her shoulders, she's on her knees and me dicks in her mooth. Nae mention of a condom from her or from me. Not fer a blowjob. Soon enough though, it's time fer the main event and Willie naturally dresses fer the occasion.
I'm into her in mish and it's feelin pretty good. So good in fact that I never do get aroond to movin aroond. While she's in the toilet, (I do have indoor plumbing, you know,) I fetch us a couple of lagers which was gratefully accepted and downed in a flash. They can certainly pack away a drink, those native girls. Pardon me, METIS girls. Back in with two more lagers just in time ta catch her pullin on her knickers. Second beer goes down as fast as the first. "Thanks" she says. I tell her she can thank me with another roll in the sack. She tells me that she normally doesn't offer MSOG but I did bring her beer.... Next thing you know she's on her hands and knees and Willie is taking aim from behind. Drops in like a Tiger Woods putt.
Set up a slow and easy pace. Willie isny a teenager so it lasts quite a bit longer this time. While I was fuckin her from behind, me drivin finger, the middle one, ya idjit, gently probed against her arsehole. Nae comment. Push it in a wee bit. Nae objection. All the way in and she's peerin over her shoulder. Put the tip of me long john at the old backdoor and she tells me if I want tae go any further it will cost me another 20 bucks. Done deal. Soon she's rockin back while I'm fuckin her in the ass. Now that deserves another beer which we had after I blew me load. She gave me a contact number in case I want to do this again but I know that number will be useless by the mornin. They always are.

Dec 23 Merry Christmas ta Willie. I decided tae treat meself tae a holiday blowjob so off tae the pooners mall I go. Circled the low track a couple o times and saw nothin tae me liking. Went up Clark Drive and saw a hard lookin specimen on the corner of Georgia and Clark. Decided I could do better than that so drove on. Looped aroond Broadway ta Main and doon again. Nothin. Back along Hastings and saw nothin worth pullin the wallet fer.
Snuck a peek along the mid track. If yer looking fer a Bobbie, that be the place fer you! Willie was lookin fer a soft pair of lips, nae a hand on the collar so off I go again.



Saw a cheeky lookin wench at Hastings and Clark. Gave her the eye. She gave me the finger. Merry fuckin Christmas to you too darlin.
One final pass along Hastings and... ah ha! A lonely figure in the night, thumb oot, stridin towards the doontoon. I offered her a ride. She offered me a rub of her fud. Could I help her oot she wanted tae know? Christmas is coming and she needed money ta get toys fer the waens'. I told her I only had twenty dollars even though I was flush. Anything would help, she told me. Parked the car in a seclude spot and helped her oot of her parka. Doon went me troosers and up went you know who. She was fishin aroond in her handbag fer a rubber but I told her nae ta botherrr. She took the hint and gave a bonnie bareback blowjob. Fer some strange reason she wasny keen on takin in a gobful o Willie's splooge but Willie fergot ta warn herrr and she wound up with a wee taste afterall. The rest went inta a McDonalds nappy.
Ah gave her pussy a bloody good rubbin all the way back ta the Sunrise Hotel. It's a pity she was wearin dungarees insteed of a skirt. Och well. dropped her off an got a peck on the cheek. I watched her as she walked doon towards Cordova. When I looped aroond on me way home, I seen her talkin with a greasy bastarrrd on a bicycle. I hope her kids enjoy their present. Apparently they're gittin crack fer Christmas, courtesy of Groundskeeper Willie.

Dec 30 I saw me sweetie Julie (see Aug 16) wavin at me like a maniac on Cordova Street at 4:30 in the morrrnin. I ignored herr and drove right by. No tonight darlin, Willie's dog tired and nae up fer it. Literally. I'm nae as young as I used tae be, ya know.

January 15 I had a wee keek at the Vancouver listings of the International Sex Guide and what do I see? Three fuckin wankers posting aboot oor Willie! I'm a fuckin' celebrity.
Willie was verrry flattered tae see that he's held in such high esteem by the local pooners but what I foond a wee bit unsettlin is that two of these daft bastards were more concerned aboot what Willie has under his kilt than what he does with what's under his kilt.
Tonsil Washer and Lovesnihon, geet yer heeds out er yer fuckin asses and stick tae the fuckin program. Maybe ISG should have a listing fer poofters. I dinny ken.

Jan 19 A break in the weather and inspiration from the poofters chattin aboot me on ISG coaxed Willie from his shed ta scout oot of the various tracks. I'd seen posts in the past aboot SW on Fraser Street but one pass up and one pass doon proved useless. Just like the daft fuckers that posted aboot it.
Drove along Broadway to me favorite street fer poonin, Clark Drive. Doon Clark tae Hastings but didny see anything worth pullin over fer. Saw one fatty SW standin at Clark and Pender but I wouldnae do herrr with a rented dick! She looked like a bulldog with saggy tits. Och well, left turn at Hastings and across the overpass tae Campbell where the selection seemed ta pick up a bit. There was a squirrelly faced cocksucker that I'd seen many a time standin across from the community center but never bothered pick up. Today is no different. I did a tour of the loop, doon Hastings ta Gore, ta Cordova and back tae Hastings and Campbell again. Nothing doin.
I went eastboond on Hastings and aw an interesting looking lassie next tae the Value Village. She gave oor Willie a knowing smile. Willie marked her doon fer future reference. I cut doon Naniamo tae Powell street and heeded back doontoon. Sometimes Powell is a gold mine but tonight the streets are as barren as the Scottish moors. Powell ta Gore and along Cordova once more. I settled on a wee native girl I foond at Cordova and Dunlevy. She jumped inta me carrr and rubbed me bollocks all the way ta me secret spot.
She wasny keen on strippin off her jumper so I had tae settle fer some under the bloose exploration. Nae a bad set o titties on er, if ye fancy them on the smaller side. I asked her aboot half n half but was told that it was that time of the month. Ye canny argue with that so doon goes me troosers and up goes me Johnson. She had a quick peek aroond before launchin in tae a mediocre blowjob. She kept poppin her heed up like a prairie dog every couple of minutes ta make sure that the bobbie wasnay aboot tae tap on me winda. I finally had tae take matters firmly in hand, literally, and hold her heed doon until Willie had done the deed.
On the way back tae the corner she tells me that she is available "anytime" if I fancy a ride. She stays at the Woodbine Hotel but Willie has nae idae of how tae find her there and nae much interest. If I see her on the street again, I'd think aboot it but nae fer a 40 dollar blowjob. 25 at most.
Jan 25 Happy Robbie Burns Day tae all the poonin Scots visitin me page. In keepin with the nature of the day, Willie has composed a wee sonnet of his own.


Ah bollocks, who the fuck am I kiddin? Willie's nae a poet, what with their fancy store bought haircuts and clean shirrrts. Willie is a man's man, a man that likes ta dip his beak in a drink or two then dip his dick amongst the lassies. Tae commemorate this joyous occasion, Willie made the journey tae the No. 5 Orange. Och what a bevy of beauties they have there. Two beers and 20 dollars later, I've had me fill o the place and trudge off tae the Legion, where the beer is half the price and after enough of them, the women are just as fanciful. But no on this night. The bints were either escorted by burly knuckle-draggin brutes or older than me Mum. One behemoth with grey hair and missin teeth gave oor Willie the eye but I beat a hasty retreat before she could tackle me fer a beer or worse.
Nothin left for it than tae cruise the tracks. Didny take long tae find a sweet wee thing on Powell Street just doon from the Chevron. She didny say much on the way tae Willie's shack but once inside she became quite the chatterbox. She told me that the rent was due soon and all the bills were piling up. As she was steppin oot of her knickers she said she hardly ever worked like this but by the way she worked on me short arm it was apparent that she was well versed in the fine art of cock suckin.
She's chatterin like a magpie while I'm rollin on the rubber. Ah got herr on the bed, humphed her legs over me shoulders and got doon to it. She had a boonie pair of titties on her that wobbled from side tae side every time Willie put the bone tae 'er. She's natterin away, "oh yeah, oh yeah," all the time I was fuckin her. Got er up top fer some cowgirl. I loved watchin her titties boonce while she rode the Scottish stallion. I wrapped it up with her flat on herr back with her legs cinched aroond me back. I tried the beer fer a second shot routine on herrr but she said she hadtae git home. She drank me fuckin beer though before we left. All in all a good session that set me back 50 and a pint. I'd do er again if'n I saw herr and told herr so. She smled but didn't say nowt so I dinny know if I'll ever get the chance again.

Feb 5 Sheila. The name seemed familiar but I couldny place the face. She knew me though and waved her arms vigorously when she saw me drivin by. A startled Willie pulled aroond the corner tae see what all the commotion was aboot. This stocky indian woman gallops aroond the corner and jumps inta me car. Greets me with a kiss on the cheek she did. "Are you going tae take me oot," she asks? I'm still grapplin tae figure oot who the fuck this is. Even after she tells me her name, I'm still drawin a blank. Then it suddenly hits me.
"Ya dinny happen tae be METIS are yer, sweethearrt?"
"Aye," she responds with a grin, then all the memories come flooding back tae me. I'd fucked this one up the arse aboot a month ago. Christ Willie, how do yer ferget something like that, yer daft bastarrrd! Off we go tae me shack. All along the way, I'm trying desparately tae remember what I paid herrr. I dinny want tae pay too much but it was hard tae concentrate with herr hand wrapped aroond me puddin. As I turned inta me lane, she bent doon and clamped her lips aroond me pole. I damned near drove inta one after that. With her tongue tracing oop and doon me shaft, it was a miracle I was able tae dodge the trash cans on the right side and the wee cat on the other. Safely inta me parking stall and off we go. Inta me hoose and onta me bed.
"Give us a kiss," she tells me. Och, I'm no that keen on puttin me lips where so many have put their Johnson but she keeps on until Willie gives her a wee peck.
"Give us some money," she goes on, "so we can get on with it." The moment of truth is now at hand. I wasnae in any position tae run tae the computer tae look up what I gave herr the last time so I dumped 60 in herr mitt and she seemed content with it.
Clothes hit the floor and Willie is flat on his back. Oor Sheila delivers a better than average bbbj while I play with her floppy tits. She had nae problem deepthroatin oor Willie, no mean trick considerin Willie is hung like a mule. Alright, alright, so I meant tae say gerbil but still, she gave a bonnie blowjob indeed. I'd a loved tae blow me load on herr clock but 60 dollars is too much fer that nonsense. Onta her hands and knees she goes while Willie rolls on a slicker.
Guidin her by the hips, inta herr balls deep. Och, lovely. She was making all kinds of racket while I was bangin herrr. "Oh! Gimme your big cock. Gimme your big cock." It did seem a wee bit contrived and her pushin back was definitely intended tae send Willie over the edge in an untimely manner. Unlike our last time, she seemed in a lot more of a hurry today. Fucked like she was double parked. She dinny even break stride when I shoved it up the backdoor but the patter changed. "Oh yeah, oh yeah." I was a wee bit put off by her mechanical nature but a fuck is a fuck so I didny care all that much. "Oh, oh, oh, oh," she'd call oot with every thrust. Me last load was barely in the condom before she was boltin fer her knickers.
I pointed oot that I was still ready tae go but she would have none of it.
"No even a blowjob," I asked herr?
"No fer 60 bucks," she shot back.
Dropped her off by the Astoria Hotel but noticed a wee native girl nae far away. My wee head told me tae go fer it so I picked herr up on the way back and had herr suckin on me dong five minutes later. If she'd known where that had been earlier that night, I'm sure she would have wanted more than the 30 I presented herrr. A nice wee thing with long black hair but flat as plank under her heavy fleece sweater. And nervous as a cat in a room full of rockers. She kept fidgetin aboot and I began tae wonder how experienced she was at this sort of thing. It took a wee bit of coaxing tae get herr going and I had tae hold her heed firm at the big moment but all in all, she proved tae be a real trooper. She spit it oot but I canny hold that against herr.
All in all, a lovely time was had by all. Well, maybe no the wee native girl. I dinny think she had a mind tae takin a moothful of cum but I wasnae goin tae waste another napkin when I had a perfectly good throat there at me disposal.


Feb 6 As luck would have it, I was motoring along Hastings Street this afternoon when I happened tae spy that same wee native girlie that blew me noodle last night. In the light of day she seemed a bit harsher than I remembered but tae be fair, I only really saw the top of her heed fer the most part. I parked the wagon on Heatley and nonchalantly strolled back tewards herr, hoping that she would recognize me and make the firrrst move. Indeed she did and greeted me with a smile. I asked herr what she was up ta? She didny have any plans. I asked herr if she fancied another go? Indeed she would! It's amazing how co-operative these lassies are when they are skint. Inta the wagon and off we go.
Once in the hoose the nerves seemed tae take over again. She seemed quite content tae just stand aboot and chat. She wandered aroond me flat. looking at photos on me wall and browsing me bookshelf. Aye, Willie can read and more than just the TV Guide and the Racing Form. I finally took matters in hand, literally, and led her tae the bedroom. Offered herr 50 fer a half and half session which she was quick tae accept.
She peeled her troosers doon and stripped her frilly bloose over her heed. I was a wee bit surprised tae see her wearing a brassiere. God only knows why, she had nowt on her chest tae support. Off with it anyway. Her nipples poked oot from her bony chest like a pair of pegs on the wall. Took one in me mooth while me free hand was busy explorin between herr legs. Slid it under her knickers and was pleased tae find that she was sparse doon there and didny have the thick beaver pelt most of these native girls sport. I laid her doon on the edge of me bed and settled in between her pins. Off came the knickers and it was lunchtime fer Willie!
Eventually climbed up on top and straddled her chest. Wedged a pilla under her heed and proceeded ta fuck her face. She wasnae very comfortable with that, let me tell ya. Every time the cock went in, her eyes would open wide. She gagged at one point so violently that I feared that she was going to puke on me new bedspread. Nae willing tae risk that any further, I shifted her inta position and rolled on the condom. She seemed tae enjoy my fucking a whole lot more than the cock in her mooth. Really got inta it. Wrapped her arms and legs aroond me tight while I was bangin her. Did it all in mish and wound it up by peelin off the rubber and blowin me load on her chest. Opps, sorry aboot that wee bit that got on yer chin, hen. Accidents do happen.
Her name is Michelle, or so she says. She's the ripe old age of 29 and hails from Prrrrince George. She's come doon here tae find a better life. If spending yer night with a cock in yer mooth is a better life, I canny imagine the life she left behind. I fancy this wee thing. She's nae me type because Willie enjoys a healthy set of fun bags on a woman but she is pleasant tae be with. I will look fer herrr again.

Feb 10 In me last report, I finished it off by saying that I would be looking fer that wee native lassie Michelle again. Well, I didny count on it being so soon. This afternoon I bumped intae herr at that fine dining establishment, McDonalds, across from the Science World. There she was, standin at the coonter.... with herr 5 year old son. Smiled and said hello. After the boy was finished making a mess of his chicken nuggets, off he went tae the playgroond. Willie discreetly slid intae the booth tae chat with Mummy.
It turns oot that she is a single Mum on welfare, with few friends and fewer opportunities. She doesny consider herrself tae be a prostitute, she's just someone lookin tae pick up a few extra dollars, just tryin te git by.
"Would she be interested in an arrangement," I wanted tae know?
"What KIND of arrangement," SHE wanted tae know?
Once a week, regular, 60 bucks. Herr place or mine.
She told me nights were a problem so it would have tae be while the wee lad was in school. Agreed. Monday turned oot tae be the best day for both of us so Monday afternoon it is. As soon as she is back from droppin the wean at kindergarrrten, Willie wil be knockin heels with Mummy.
Fer a long time new, the low track has been hit and miss. Ye never know what the fuck yer goin tae come up with doon there so this may just work oot fer the best.

Feb 12 Today was a lesson in time management fer oor Willie. My 1 pm appointment didny actually show up until almost half past one. I sat parked in front of herr apartment.... waiting...waiting until she finally sauntered doon the street. It seems that Michelle had fergotten our Monday rendezvous and seemed quite surprised, and nae pleasantly so, tae find me leanin against me fender with a heart shaped box of candy.
In we go. She lives in a tidy one bedroom apartment on Francis. The bedroom I soon came tae know belonged tae the wee lad. I dropped me donation and chocolates on the kitchen table where it could be seen. Michelle thanked me then pulled the cushions off her settee and unfold herr bed. Drapes were closed and clothes came off. A wee bit of touchin and kissin and I'm thinkin this will be alright. I was layin back feelin the glow of a decent blowjob when "rinnggggg! It's the bloody telephone. "Sorry" she says then spends 10 minutes tellin whoever the hell it was that she didny have time tae talk.
After bringin me old soldier back tae attention, a condom goes on, followed by Michelle, who goes on cowgirl style. Big mistake. She rode me like a mechanical bull stuck in high gear. I feared she might snap me toolie off. Fuck that. I positioned her on herr hands and knees and fucked herr from behind. That was quite nice. She really gets inta it once you actually get her inta it. Pumped her hard and deep and blew me load.
Through the magic of medical science, me wee lassie was surprised, and again, nae that pleasantly so, to find Willie was still as stiff as a pipe. I commenced tae fuck herr some more, first from behind and them with herr flat on herr back. I had just settled inta a leisurely pace when "ringgggg,!" She'd set her flippin alarm clock. She tells me it's time fer herr tae pick up the wean.
"Time gentlemen, please."
"Bollocks" says Willie and from there it was a race tae the finish, with her natterin "I have to go, I have to go" and Willie thinkin "I have tae cum, I have tae cum." Luckily, we both accomplished oor goals in the nick of time.
A disappointing session verging on the fuck it, I'll find someone else side. Don't know if I'll see herr again next week. We'll see how the rest of me week goes.

Well, it seems that I've reached the limit of the bandwidth on this fuckin cheap-ass page so if you be looking fer the latest entries, you'll be needin tae go tae page 2. Just click on the fuckin link, ya bloose wearin poodle walker tae go tae the new page. Otherwise fuck off.

There is a marvellous forum fer all the poonin brothers frum different moothers tae be postin and boastin of yer snatch-chasin adventures. It has a chatroom fer the lads and lassies tae exchange their fuckin views or tae just chin wag with yer contemperaries. Did I just say contemperaries???
Click on the link or go tae www.terf.ca tae hook oop with the forum.

If yer be feelin the need tae share yer stories of yer own triumphs in poonin, this be the place fer ya. Keep it brief, yer bastarrds. I dinny have all day fer this shite, ya know.

Ya daft bastarrrds can also e-mail Willie by clicking on the e-mail link.