Bad Case of loving you
(Song fic. Song belongs to Robert Palmer, no copyright
infrigment intended)
A
hot summer night, fell like a net
I've
gotta find my baby yet
I
need you to soothe my head
Turn
my blue heart to red
Gibbs
swallowed hard. The jukebox in the Cantina had played the same song for over an
hour now. It had been stuck in 1974, so it seems, or this song was the only one
that was still working. He had been in
His
memory still showed some holes, but he knew that his feelings for Ducky were
real, on the contrary of the memories he had of the NCIS director, Jenny, those
memories were still fuzzy. The eccentric M.E. with all his stories, and to Gibbs'
surprise, he remembered a lot - if not all - of the stories the good doctor had
told him. He remembered their nights together, their talks, and how Ducky
smelled - faintly like formaldehyde, and when he stayed over at Gibbs' house,
sawdust - and of course, not to forget, his mother with Alzheimer's. His
memories of Ducky were the reason that he kept going. Ducky, his Duck, was the
one that kept him going, even though he was in
But
did Gibbs want to return? After all, the people that were supposed to defend the
country had lied. Everything they had done that evening when Ziva had brought
Gibbs to MTAC, was against all morality. He could of course, retire forever now.
He had already turned in his badge and gun, and all he had to do was to fill in
some papers. He might persuade Ducky to retire too.
He
knew the answer, when he called Ducky with Camille's cell phone. "No
Jethro, you're going to return when you're done. When you're absolutely certain
you want to return. You're not going to return because of me."
"But
I'm missing you, Duck." Gibbs nagged.
"Why
are you calling me? If you wanted to return, you would have been on a plane
right now."
"I
miss you… My head hurts… I keep thinking of you."
"It's
not about me."
"I
know, but… I feel so lost."
"Then
find yourself, dear."
Disobeying
Ducky, Gibbs found himself on the plane back to D.C. the next day.
Gibbs
hummed the song when he was in the cab on the way to Ducky's house. It was
already late in the evening, and he knew that Mrs. Mallard wasn't home. It was
Ducky's free weekend, when Mrs. Mallard spent a weekend at an elderly care
centre. He opened the front door with his own key after seeing light burning in
the study, and sang the chorus to the song out loud.
Doctor,
doctor give me the news
I've
got a bad case of lovin' you
No
pill's gonna cure my ill
I've
got a bad case of lovin' you
"Jethro!"
Ducky exclaimed surprised, looking up from his book about some new form of
pathology. "Oh no…" Ducky said worried. "You didn't
listen…"
"Of
course not, Duck." Gibbs smiled. "Why should I?" He pulled the
older man to his feet and kissed him tenderly. "I've missed you."
"Jethro…
this isn't right." Ducky insisted. "You had to come back when you knew
you were ready… not because you miss a poor old man like me."
"You're
not poor. And certainly not old." Gibbs kissed him again, and this time,
his lover answered his kiss eagerly, dropping his book to the floor and put his
arms around the taller man's waist. "No long stay in a warm country makes
me feel any better, Ducky." Gibbs whispered. "I just want to be with
you, because you make me feel whole."
A
pretty face don't make no pretty heart
I
learned that buddy, from the start
You
think I'm cute, a little bit shy
Momma,
I ain't that kind of guy
Gibbs
hid at Ducky's place for a week. He wasn't ready to face his former team yet,
nor Abby for that matter. He suddenly realized he had made the wrong choice. He
hadn't been ready to return 'home'. Ducky all too often showed Gibbs that he
hadn't been ready. Gibbs wasn't himself, he still lived in
"Go
home, Jethro." Ducky said softly after Gibbs had scolded him once again,
for something minor that wasn't even worth to have an argument about. "Go
to your boat. Go."
Gibbs
realized that he really had hurt Ducky this time, and he hadn't meant it that
way. "Duck… I'm sorry."
"No
you're not." Ducky looked up to him, a mixture between sadness and love
were in his eyes. "Don't listen to your hormones, the next time. Go
home."
The
next few minutes were a staring contest. Gibbs stared at Ducky, with tears in
his eyes, and Ducky stared back, his
eyes had turned cold, and he obviously had enough.
"I'm
sorry." Gibbs softly said while he turned around, grabbed his coat and went
outside. For a summer afternoon, it was kind of chilly. It rained slightly, and
Gibbs didn't even mind. The weather suited his current state of mind. He walked
around for a while before taking a cab to his house. He was angry, he was hurt,
he felt alone and most of importantly, he was lost.
The
minute he got into his basement, he grabbed an axe and started to destroy his
boat. He released all his anger, and didn't stop until the boat was nothing more
but a pile of wood, ready to be thrown in the fireplace. His boat, the one he
had been working on for years, gone. His anger, was gone too, but now he felt
even more empty. He wanted to call Ducky. He wanted to tell Ducky what he had
done. He wanted to tell Ducky how sorry he was that he had screwed up so badly.
He wanted to tell Ducky, that if he could, he would turn back time and that he
would have ran from Pin Pin and dodged the explosion that had rattled his brain
so much. But Ducky would hang up the second he heard Gibbs' voice. Gibbs knew,
he was on his own.
Doctor,
doctor give me the news
I've
got a bad case of lovin' you
No
pill's gonna cure my ill
I've
got a bad case of lovin' you
Ducky
found him when he was at his weakest. He was drunk, totally wasted after
drinking 5 or 6 or more bottles of Jack Daniels, and sitting in a corner of his
shower, crying, naked and the cold water falling down on his already cold body.
"Idiot."
Ducky said, more loving than hating. He turned off the cold water and grabbed a
few towels in which he wrapped his Jethro.
"I'm
not."
"Yes
you are." Ducky said sweetly, kind of the way he talked to his mother.
"Come on Jethro, let's get you in your bed."
"I
don't want to." Gibbs sulked.
"You're
too far gone, aren't you?"
"Can't
walk." He grinned.
Ducky
got up, and picked up the empty bottles laying around in the bathroom. "Stay
put, dearest. I'm getting you coffee. Keep your hands off the shower tab."
He ordered the younger man.
Ducky
wasn't really worried, as Gibbs often got pissed as a newt when not feeling all
too good, but he had come over to Gibbs' house to talk. He had gone to the
basement first, and the sight of the shattered boat had been heart wrenching.
Then Ducky had known that something was wrong with his lover. The whole house
was a mess. It had been a week after Ducky had asked Gibbs to go home, and they
hadn't talked since. Ducky wanted to call his Jethro, but he knew he would only
make things worse. When the silence between them lasted for a week, Ducky
decided that his lover was in need of some intervention. He had called Abigail,
to see if Gibbs had contacted her, but when the answer was negative, Ducky
collected his energy, and his determination and of course his love and went to
his partner.
When
Ducky returned with the coffee, Gibbs had fallen asleep. "I'm sorry dearest
but…" Ducky sighed as he turned on the cold shower, to wake up his lover.
"God
damn it!" Gibbs exclaimed and nearly jumped.
"No,
not God, dear. I turned on the shower."
"Sadist."
Gibbs muttered.
"You
need to warm up, Jethro." Ducky turned off the shower again and handed his
lover a cup of extra strong coffee.
"You're
cruel, Duck." Gibbs nagged and happily took over the cup of coffee. "Guess
you're right though. I'm a bastard."
"I
should have come by earlier." Ducky sat down on the toilet seat with the
thermos of coffee and looked at his lover. "But I figured you needed some
time to breathe."
"I
destroyed my boat because of you."
"No,
you destroyed your boat because other wise you'd have harmed someone."
"Duck,
I'm drunk. Do we really need to have this conversation right now?"
"Drink
your coffee, dear."
Gibbs
stared at Ducky for a long time and then decided to drink the coffee. He drank a
whole thermos in silence, and Ducky kept quiet too. He had another pot in the
kitchen, and if Gibbs wanted that, he'd get it.
"Get
off the toilet, I need to use it." Gibbs half barked. Ducky willingly got
up and left the bathroom. Gibbs standing up meant that he was sobering. Which
was good.
Despite
his Jethro's foul mood, they talked all night long. Drinking coffee. Ordering
pizza. They talked about anything and everything. And sometimes, Gibbs
remembered something, and Ducky explained who and what to him when he asked for
it.
Doctor,
doctor give me the news
I've
got a bad case of lovin' you
No
pill's gonna cure my ill
I've
got a bad case of lovin' you
Special
Agent Gibbs was re-instated a month after he returned home. He had realized that
loving Ducky wasn't the right reason to come home. He had realized that he had
been a big mess, and he still was, but he could deal with it now, better than he
used to do. He had even started to work on a new boat. The solitude in
"Hey
Duck?"
"Yes,
dear?" Ducky nestled himself even closer into Gibbs than he already was.
"I
love you." Gibbs softly kissed Ducky on his forehead. "I don't know
what I would have done without you."
"Sometimes,
dearest, you need someone to stop you from self-destruction."
"Shut
up and kiss me."
I
know you like it, you like it on top
Tell
me momma are you gonna stop
You
had me down, 21 to zip
Smile
of Judas on your lip
Shake
my fist, knock on wood
I've
got it bad and I've got it good
Doctor,
doctor give me the news
I've
got a bad case of lovin' you
No
pill's gonna cure my ill
I've
got a bad case of lovin' you