A good reason
Some
people would consider me a ‘fool’. Some would consider me ‘brave’. I let
my lover go to
He
didn’t say much when I drove him home from NCIS HQ, he was submerged in his
own world, his own thoughts, and he didn’t need to tell me what he was
thinking. He muttered something in the way of “Lying Bastards.” And then I
knew why he handed over his badge and gun to Anthony. My Jethro had lost faith
in the system. The system, that’s supposed to protect his citizens, that’s
supposed to be frank with his citizens. Of course, some things needed to stay a
secret to make sure that the citizens didn’t start a rebellion. Maybe, very
maybe, the terrorist attack on the Navy was better off as a ‘boating
accident’. But perhaps not. Jethro had gotten emotional up in MTAC. He had
admitted that, mostly because a good man got killed and he nearly died as well.
People had died for a good cause. The people on those boats, died too, only
because there was a hole in the security. People deserved to know the truth, and
that’s why Jethro did what he did.
I stayed
with him that night. I watched him as he worked on his boat in silence, drinking
bourbon. He occasionally spoke, and I didn’t ask him. It was obvious that
Jethro’s memory wasn’t yet intact. He still had a few holes to fill, and
I’d try to fill them for him when he asked. It wasn’t really Jethro who I
saw working on the boat, it was a tame Jethro, defeated, sad and maybe a little
exposed. He didn’t want people to know about Shannon and Kelly. He had told
me, of course, and I had been with him when he visited their grave when he
returned from Desert Storm. Of course I knew him before Desert Storm. I loved
him before Desert Storm. But, to protect him and his secret missions, and to
protect myself from possible harm, Jethro and I had made an agreement of not
knowing each other before 1991, before he joined
“So,
Tobias married wife #2?” Jethro spoke up.
“Yes,
dear.” I replied.
“Did I
warn him?”
“Oh,
countless of times. But you know Tobias, he doesn’t listen.”
“Did
you warn him?”
“Of
course.”
“Wait…
you introduced me to Diane!” Jethro blurted and turned around to face me.
“I
have apologized afterwards.”
“You
did?”
“I did.”
“And
she’s still stalking me?”
“Only
at your anniversary, dearest.”
“Oh.”
And with that, Jethro turned back to his boat and picked up his work. Jethro
looked troubled, and tired and I was waiting for him to pass out on top of his
boat.
“Jethro?”
“Yes,
Duck?”
“Let’s
go to bed.”
Jethro
turned once again to me and nodded. “I’m a little tired.” He responded. I
walked towards him, put my arm around him and we went upstairs. He slowly
undressed himself, silently went to the bathroom to take a shower and returned.
“Why didn’t you join me in the shower?”
“Because
you are tired, Jethro.” I replied. “I’d have…”
“I
need you, Duck.” He interrupted me. “I want you. I want to feel… and I
want to forget.”
“Not
tonight, dearest.” I softly kissed him and helped him into bed before I
crawled in myself. “If you need me tonight, don’t hesitate to wake me.”
It was
quiet for a while and then Jethro sighed. “Duck?”
“Yes,
dearest?”
“I
think I’m going to
I sighed
a little and nodded. “If that’s what you want, dearest.”
“Do
you mind?”
“No,
of course not.” I faintly smiled. “If you think that you need to go to
He
didn’t need me right now. I knew that, I felt it with pain in my heart. Jethro
needed to go to
At least
this time, I knew where he was going.
Three
months passed. I did my work, the way that was expected of me, I tried to make
sure that Jimmy understood what I was doing, and that he understood that it’s
not good to make bad jokes about the departed. I taught Jimmy how to handle
Anthony. Anthony was trying to lead the team, but he was insecure. He often came
down to Autopsy to ask my opinion, and the all to obvious question; ‘What
Would Gibbs Do?’. Anthony wasn’t one who was able to treat the team members
equally, but yet also a bit different. Abigail needed a different approach than,
for example, Timothy. Anthony was able to lead the team for a day, a week at
most, but he’d rather had Jethro back.
Abigail
came to me in Autopsy regularly. She often talked about how she missed her
‘silver haired fox’ and she often complained about Anthony as well. She had
even refused to come to work for a day because Anthony had barked at her, which
was very unpleasant. But I had told her that Anthony was lost. He needed
guidance and no matter how much he asked for my help, I was only an M.E. and
Jennifer was the Director.
I missed
Jethro deeply. I missed his presence, I missed his smile, I missed his voice and
I missed him as a whole. I took care of his house and mail, and Mother liked the
extra attention she received from me. Even though Mother’s Alzheimer’s was
getting worse, she sensed something was different. Something was missing, and
she knew exactly what. She avoided to speak Jethro’s name, but she knew
exactly what I needed.
I had
taken a day off at our ‘anniversary’. I couldn’t bear working without him
on that date. I was playing Gin with Mother when my phone rang. “Doctor
Mallard, I presume?” Jethro’s voice sounded.
“Yes?”
“Why
aren’t you at work?”
“I’m
sorry?” I decided to play along. My Jethro was back, back in time for our
anniversary. My Jethro was back, where he belonged. My Jethro was back, and he
was himself.
“Why
aren’t you at work? I expect you to be here in 15 minutes, Doctor Mallard.”
We drove
home separately. I had made sure that the nurse was with Mother and I waited for
my Jethro to come home, in my arms as I waited for him inside his house.
“Happy
Anniversary, Duck.” Jethro smiled, as he approached me from the shadows of the
hallway, a bottle of good, strong whiskey in his hands. He kissed me
passionately. “You have no idea how much I have missed you.”
“Welcome
back, Jethro dearest.”