Conversation with a fictional character

Gibbs! AAARGH! Go chase someone else with that gun, I’m vacuuming!

“This is new.” The Marine noted. “You can actually see me now.”

I learned the trick from Chris.

“Ah, right. Stop vacuuming.” The NCIS agent pulled the plug of the vacuumcleaner out of the socket and threw it on the floor.

Hey, easy! Laminated floor, newly laminated floor!

“Sheez, keep your shirt on.”

I intend to!

Gibbs looked at me oddly. “You do know that I’m into Ducky, right?”

I do. But that won’t stop me from lusting after an older, but hot man.

“I need coffee.” Gibbs groaned and walked to the kitchen. “What? Only instant?”

Latte and cappuccino, yes.

“You call that coffee?”

Yes.

“Well I don’t.”

Then it’s either water or pepsi.

“Nothing.”

Why are you here?

“What?”

Why are you here?

“Oh... yeah. Ducky and I need to get back together.”

Duh.

“Right, the understatement of the year.”

Yup. What do you want me to do?

“I dunno... write a letter to TPTB?”

As if they read that.

“Right.”

You can go after TPTB yourself?

“How?”

Barge in, like you always do? Beg for them to write you and Ducky being back to being friendly again? What the hell is wrong between you and the Duckman anyway?

“How the hell should I know? The writers write me!”

Right.

“I don’t have a real life, I’m just fictional!”

And yet, I’m talking to you, I must be insane.

“Yes.”

I can call for Ducky, you know.

“Yes.” The tall man nodded. “And write us making up.”

I can’t. I’m not a member of TPTB.

“Okay, that’s it.” The marine got his sig out of his holster. “I’m going after them and force them to write that Ducky and I are friendly again.”

*More* than friendly, preferably!

“Tell me, the group you belong to on the internet...”

The gibbs/ducky community?

“Yes.”

What about it?

“Are you the only ones to feel bothered by the lack of friendly ness between me and Duck?”

Nope.

“Really?”

Yeah, even people who don’t slash you seem to be bothered by it.

“Amazing.”

But I still want you to stash DiNozzo in a body cooler in one of my fics.

“Deal.”

Really?

“Yeah, sure, go ahead!”

No headslap? No... I dunno ‘Don’t touch my toy boy’?

“He’s not my toy boy!” Gibbs whined.

Yet, you being slashed with DiNozzo is the biggest fandom.

“That’s bull.”

Nope.

“Hmz, I’m not sure if Ducky likes DiNozzo being in a body cooler. I might forget getting him out and then he’ll catch a cold... or worse.”

So?

“Yeah, you’re right.” Gibbs grinned. “Anyway, thanks for this conversation, I’m going after TPTB and... threaten them.”

Good luck.

“Happy vacuuming!”