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THIS HERE'S A COLLECTION OF ALL THE PONDERABLES AND THOUGHTS FOR THE WEEK THAT HAVE APPEARED IN THE WITNEWS HUMOR ZINE. PONDERABLE FOR THE WEEK The Millenium. Let's not get complacent about the coming millenium. We have more to worry about than just the 4-digit year 2000. What about Y10K (year 10,000) or Y100K (Year 100,000) or Y1MillK (Year 1,000,000)? Have they thought about that? I doubt it. That's why I'm hoarding stuff and digging a very, very deep hole under my house. May 16-23, 1999 PONDERABLE FOR THE WEEK People are always telling me to slow down. I tell them that it would be a lot easier to do if I wasn't already living on a planet that is hurtling through space, spinning at 1000 miles an hour. May 9 - May 16, 1999 PONDERABLE FOR THE WEEK Sometimes, when I'm sleeping, I'll wake with a sudden start - just in time to pull the car back on to my side of the road. May 2 - May 9, 1999 PONDERABLE FOR THE WEEK Let' see. Kosovo has cost the US at least a billion dollars if not several times that. And, once the conflict is over, it will require several billions to rebuild Kosovo and Serbia not counting ongoing UN or NATO security costs. One wonders...would it not be prudent, when a conflict appears to be about to happen or there's evidence that some feud will escalate or even if there's evidence of a possible feud, to estimate the cost of an intervention and then say, "Hey. It'll cost $2 billion to intervene. But, if you quit before you start, we'll pump $1 billion into your area to help smooth things over and bring you into the 20th century where the rest of us live." Maybe these tinpot countries would think twice about attacking each other if serious money was offered before the fact instead of after. Just wondering.....April 25 - May 2, 1999 THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK(1) Why does the word "monosyllable" have so many syllables? April 18 - April 25, 1999 THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK (2) People are always saying you can't compare apples and oranges. We say: "Why can't you? They're both fruit aren't they? Go ahead, compare away! Who's going to stop you?" April 18 - April 25, 1999 THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK Wouldn't it be great if, when you got arrested, they stuck you behind 'chocolate' bars? April 11 - April 18, 1999 THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK Sometimes, when I'm by myself, I think "If I'm by myself then I can't be alone since I'm always by me." The thing is, when I'm with me, I'm the only one there. So they're wrong, you can never be 'by' yourself 'cause that would require two of you. Then I get scared and need a hug. April 4 - April 11, 1999 THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK Sometimes, when I'm walking downtown, I think : "If we were having a civil war right now, most of these buildings would be destroyed." Then I think: "I'm thirsty" so I grab a "Starbucks" coffee. March 28 - April 3, 1999
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WITworld™ Humor Center, WITnews™ Humor Ezine, The Blue Flame™ Parody Mag, and WITSTERblog™ are produced by it's CEO, Head Cheese, and main witster, Paul C. Vincent™. Original material appearing on this site and in Wit-news™, The Blue Flame, or the Witsterblog are produced for the sole enjoyment of readers and are not to be reproduced in any way, shape or form without express written permission. Request same at Except with respect to the posted work of others and identified as such, all material © Copyright(c) Paul C. Vincent, 1998-2005, all rights reserved.
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