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What did the toilet paper say to the toilet?
I'm on a roll!

NEW BOOK: "Arctic Animals" by Carah Boo.
New Book: "Special Occasions" by Ann E. Versari
New Book - "Brain Pain" by Anne Urism.

Recycling is everywhere. In most big cities households either stuff their junk in blue bags or boxes. Recycling companies are usually pretty picky about people making sure they separate their junk into paper, plastic and glass before putting it out for pick up. Quebecers are considered the best recyclers in the world 'cause they love to separate. (e-mail us if you need this explained).
Did you hear about the guy who got kicked out of his very strict apartment building for housing pets? He was caught keeping a family of dust bunnies under his bed.
There's a new movie coming out. It's the story of a young, precocious, blond-haired ten year old boy, who dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt his old neighborhood, especially Mr. Wilson, with hilarious results. It's called "Dennis the Phantom Menace"

What did Baby Corn say to Momma Corn? "Where's Pop Corn?"
(Provided courtesy of Andy from my son's 3rd grade class)

What do you call a singing locomotive? Shania Train.
Why does the word 'monosyllable' have so many syllables?
New Book: Arctic Animals by Carie Boo
What do cars and cattle have in common? They both have horns.
What did the toilet paper say to the toilet? I'm on a roll.
I'm going off to climb a huge moutnain, but my wife doesn't care - I'll be climbing the "don'tMatterhorn".
Whaddya call a federal prisoner at a book signing - "a con-sign-ment"

I went to a bank machine the other day. With the press of a button I created 10 banks.

In order to truly develop as a human one needs positive self-esteem. This usually involves loving oneself. I love myself, but it is an unrequited love.

New Book!! "Brain Pain" by Ann Urysm

Pop psychology - a load of Jungk

Another New book!! - "Falsehoods and other lies" by Shirley U. Jest.


During his first run at the Presidency Bill Clinton, when asked about his possible use of marijuana, said that "he tried it but did not inhale."
Bill Clinton on the Starr report, his relationship with Monica, and the meaning of sex: "I tried sex, but I did not impale!"

News item - Rumour has it that a well known former female White House Intern has accepted a position with a major credit card company as President - Member Services.

The months of the year and their meanings:
January - happy time, first month, get off to a new start, "Look at me, I'm feeling very January!", good month for anyone named Jan;
February - idiot month, who dreamed up this spelling?, shortest month, a good month for speed freaks, Darwin award winners;
March - action month, "March! Young man!", get the lead out, slackers beware;
April - pretty, a month for those who want to feel fresh and pretty like those people in feminine napkin commercials, also a good name for a girl;
May - indecision month, MAYbe you will, MAYbe you won't;
June - solid month, "June" - it's clear, no fooling around;
July - a dishonest month - "D'jou lie? D'jou lyin' to me?', also known as Joe Pesci Month;
August - a grand month, big month for heads of state, Royal Family Month in Britain;
September - SEPT-ic tank month, get it cleaned out or get one installed, also known as Politician's Month;
October - Heimlich manoeuver month, "Ochhh! P-tober!" Good month for expectorating generally or for entering spitting contests, also known as blockage clearage month;
November - a month of negativity, "NO-vember", this is the month to issue denials, a good month for Presidents;
December - this is removal or reduction month, time to stop doing things you don't like, a time to get rid of things or have annoying things taken out, also known as Mob or Mafia Month.


When frogs die - do they croak?


Diet Shakespeare - tubby or not tubby?


A new book on reptiles was just released - "Big Snakes" by Anna Conda.


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