Show And Tell
My daddy hits my mommy and she cries all the time and daddy always yells at her and me sometimes too and after that he says he loves mommy and me and then mommy has this funny look on her face,she has lots of funny faces and they have colors too, black,blue,purple,brown,red,green and yellow. Mommy sure looks different when her face isn't colored up. I don't see mommy like that very much-no colors I mean.
Daddy drinks out of a funny bottles and he smokes these smelly things that really stink. I even sneaked a drink once and it made me feel funny and sick and talk and be mad.
Oh I have a picture of my mommy too,she has the funny face and the colors are all mixed together.
That's OK cause that's how daddy shows mommy he loves her. Mommy said so and so did daddy cause they tell that to each other everyday after he hits her. Daddy sure loves mommy a whole bunch cause mommy always looks like that,the colors I mean and crying.
I can't wait to grow up and marry someone just like daddy and who loves me just as much as daddy loves mommy.
Oh I forgot me and mommy went to see daddy at this big place and we talked to him behind some glass on the phone.I asked mommy how come we always come and see daddy,she said this is where daddy lives. Daddy had funny looking clothes on and they weren't very pretty either. I can't wait to do this too.Someday I can bring my kids to see their daddy too and show them where he lives and show and tell my kids this is how much daddy love us too. I can't wait.
Intimate Partner Violence/Domestic Violence has many names and hurts kids too.They don't have to see it or hear it , but what they do see and hear is on your face or body, in your voice, in a hospital ER or ICU, behind the glass, in your eyes, at your grave site, by being woke up at 4 am.,from gossip,on the news,in their hearts and minds. The cycle continues on down the line, passed from one generation to the next until somebody has the help they need to stop it.
Can you imagine when your child has show and tell at school, that this story is what they tell the class? I can,because one day for show and tell this is a similar story my kids told. And now my daughters are in abusive relationships and now their sons and daughters will pass down this story for show and tell. I had to dig down deep within myself as a child,and get inside my own children's souls and write this. I too told a similar story for show and tell when I was a child.
Writing this on May 10,2000 was the beginning of my journey to healing and putting an end to the cycle of abuse in my life. There's nothing worse than seeing your own child beaten by and realizing for the first time the truth,that domestic violence hurts kids too in more ways than I ever imagined.
I am a new member of The Spokane County Domestic Violence Consortium in Spokane WA. I serve on the Education and Services Committee's and on the Survivor's Speaker's Bureau. You may contact me for more information at grammyb39@hotmail.com
Candice Botner May 10,2000
Thank you Candice for sharing your heart! If you would like to participate in the share your heart campaign to end violence, please email your story to womansworldlove@aol.com
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