Women & Power - what makes you feel powerful ? |
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So
why do woman wear heels? To make you taller? We can follow this line, but when
we get to the bottom, it is to be more attractive, usually to men (but to each
his own). We look at the vids or go to a gentleman's club and the only thing
that the women have on is there heels; must be glued to their feet.
Here comes the truth - calves. We are attracted to shapely, well formed,
defined calves. Do not forget the skirt! It is the next piece of the puzzle.
With pants it would not make any difference what your calves look like. Work
your calves ladies and the entire world is yours.
From
Marguerite
I love my high heels. I have been wearing them for 20 years, they have become an
every day shoe to me over the years. I wear them every day to work. I am partial
to the thin stiletto heel type, they just appear to be more attractive to me.
Most of my everyday shoes have a 3-4 inch heel but I do have a number that are 5
inches high. These are the ones I wear on Saturday night dates with my husband.
He loves when I wear them with a short skirt.
There are times I wear the 5 inch stilettos to work but by the end of the day I have to say my feet have had it. I don't know what attracted me to wearing heels, they just seem to give me a feeling of confidence, I don't mind the looks I get sometimes either, they give me that feeling of sexiness. If you are a women with a nice pair of legs, a pair of high stiletto heels just makes them even more attractive. There also great for driving men crazy, I do it to my husband all the time. Love to see if anyone else agrees with me.
From Rudy
All of the comments so far have been great! I second all of them especially
regarding heels pointing up when I'm on top or when she's got her legs over my
shoulders...oh yes!
One thing I'd like to add the form of the foot in the pump (classic styled pumps by the way) is so incredible, it has become sex in itself. That form, arched and tense creates the cleavage that is, in my opinion, one of the most incredible stimulators. Yes, those toes just a peek of cleavage and you have instant hard on! Oh the slings and strappy sandals, with normal thin soles...oh my my my! And when she's sitting with her gorgeous legs crossed and dangles a pump, careful now!
Wearing heels once for my girlfriend...I had the most incredible orgasm ever! I want to do it over and over...yes wear them!
From Rhys
Nothing feels more sexier than strutting around in a pair of high heels, the
higher the better. I have a good collection. Would not mind if society would
allow us men to wear them with our normal clothes, any where we like, without
the rude comments from passers by.
From Simon
For me the joy of stiletto heels whether high or 'kitten' is the simple thought
that all the weight of the wearer is being placed on that small area. My wife
enjoys this too, and likes the thought of making marks on floors and the heels
sinking into thick carpets. She thinks nothing of standing on my bare chest
wearing her thinnest heels and placing her full (150lbs) weight on the heels.
You may be surprised to hear that actually this is ok for a bit although after a
few minutes gets a bit much, especially when she starts to dance around.
Interestingly the most pressure is exerted on lower (thin heels) rather than
higher heels.
From Anonymous
I think high heels are sexy because they are about sexual power. A woman who
wears them expresses a confidence in herself that other women who wear flats do
not have. High heels say something about the focus of her sexual energy into a
concentrated point of power. High heels say you can fuck me, if I want you to,
but you have to have my permission, do you want permission honey? That's what
heels are about.
From Rich
Having been an inveterate high heel fetishist for years I agree with those who
place an emphasis on the legs when wearing high heels. A very high heel has
strong sexual content but for me not unless it is coupled with a female
leg...and beyond. Interestingly, boots do little for me, which is further
confirmation of the connection with the leg, and plats in my opinion are "cheaters".
The ultimate turn on is a petite trim female, actually any age (sometimes older
is better because "back when"...circa 1950's virtually all women wore high heels,
and some of them very high; consequently they "know" how to wear them.
That is to say, to have developed the skill and grace to wear high heels is central to their sexuality. Ineptly or clumsily worn high heels is ludicrous to say the least. But high heels, particularly very high stiletto heels worn with proper clothing, (i.e. business suits, cocktail dresses, halter-top dresses, and the like) conveys an aura or power, sexuality and elegance to the woman wearing them. Intoxicating might be a better term to use....
From Ray
My high heel obsession started when I was about 6. My uncle's girlfriend who was
about 99 lbs. 4'11 was always wearing high heels. She was small breasted but
made up for it with a nice full ass and shapely heavy legs. She was a 5 star
tease. All I ever wanted to do was get every chance to see her legs and then
spend endless hours fantasizing about them.
At all the family gatherings she always wore short skirts and heels, and then would participate in a lot of leg crossing and shoe tipping. It was a killer. Much to my delight they later wed. By the time she was 30 her legs were giving her a lot of problems because of excessive high heel mileage, but she was a trooper and struggled with the heels at functions. As years went by and I noticed the arrival of weight gain and cellulite, it didn't matter, the obsession of those heeled gams will last a lifetime.
From Sharon
I love wearing my high heels on a night out. As soon as I put them on I feel 10
times more sexy. On a normal night out I go out with my boyfriend at 10pm to a
bar for a few drinks then onto a club for some dancing and the attention I get
there is fantastic. By the time it comes to walking home my feet are all hot and
sweaty and my boyfriend takes great pleasure in taking them off for me. Boy do
they smell!
From Fpcat
Heels, especially the strappy sandal or slutty platform variety, make any
women's points go up ( for me at least 3 or 4!) I instantly think of sex when I
see a woman in a hot pair of shoes. Makes any outfit look 10 times hotter.
From Bob
I look forward to the weekends because that is the only time my wife will wear
high heels. We looks forward to it also because she know it turns me on. She
will wear 4 inch heels with a tight skirt and low cut blouse to restaurants
knowing that the waiters and bus boys will be checking her out.
She always makes it a point to show her legs and tits to some guy in the restaurant because she knows that I like to hear her talk about it when we get home. As she is giving me a blow job, she will be talking about how she looked at dinner. She doesn't take off her heels until I come on her face. The great thing is that we do it all again the next weekend!
From arch villain
I've been a foot fetishist since as long as I can remember. A woman with nicely
arched feet in a pair of stiletto heels can completely command my attention. The
effect of this is better than Viagra.
Not all women can produce this effect, but I've found those who have done ballet and ballroom dancing have the art of portraying vertical sex.
From Lady Elf
I believe that all of your options are correct even Male massage therapist.
Heels do make a woman look and feel incredibly sexy or at least I do. I love
nothing better to that put on one of my cocktail dresses and my 2 inch - 3 inch
high heels and strut out into public. I am a 5'9 curvy woman which after I put
my 3 inch heel makes me 6'0 and boy do men love staring.
Now do not get me wrong I am not doing this to take men a stray or give them the idea that something will ever happen because along side my sexy heels and form fitting dress & long neck I display my wedding rings very proudly. (Which I clean every time I go out so they are very sparkly) But in spite of how I feel when I wear these heels I do and feel the pain of high heels. As a former model (No you would of never seen me I was too young,15) I have been told that I have compacted 3 of my lower vertebra just above my hip bone. Now so every time I bend my knee & tilt my hips on the left side I lock my hips in place almost like dislocating them. So I have to force them back so I can move. For 20 mins after I hobble around in pain, I'm only 25
From Anonymous
What can I say that hasn't already been said about high heels; they are the
beautiful enhancement that compliments the walking work of art in nature (women).
I simply cannot stand anything else on a woman, of course I endure it but deep
down inside when I see them I know I just know if they'd step back from their
flat footed ways and meet the challenge of heels they would shine all that much
brighter.
Some feet are pretty some are not but all in toe covered stiletto heels are breathe taking from the muscles just above on the foot just above the insert slid into the shoe so snugly... straight back up the dynamic diagonal to the heel that brings us to the floor and back up the leg focusing our attention on those sensual calves. It presents the legs as well as Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa captivating. Sadly not enough woman know this but in some ways that's good it shows you who truly knows elegance and beauty pure art and mastery and who just follows trends.
From Giannico di Venezia
I believe when a woman wears high heels, they heighten the sensuality of their
legs. I have been a "leg" man for many years. Heels make the ladies' legs look
thinner. They make their calves look smaller. And that turns me on even more.
From Kdonyel
I feel that high heels are sexual advantages like body parts. Some women have
breast, others have asses or great legs a pretty face nice hair great skin or a
gorgeous smile. Many women have multiple attributes and to add to that they wear
and or know how to wear a sexy pair of high heel shoes.... A woman can have a
pretty face and nice breast, another can have a pretty face nice smile big
breast and wear heels!
The more attributes the more attractive the woman...So if you have all the attributes and you wear heels! The heels can add immense sexuality to a woman no matter what the package...In other words heels are non God given or medical changes that can take a woman from a 8 to a 10 or a 3 to a 5! period!
From Max
I wish all women always wearing very high heels. I think there's nothing can
make them as feminine as heels do. I can see a woman careless dressed with jeans
or something, but if she has a pair of sexy heels on I can see her entirely sexy
dressed and really attractive.
From Cathy
I love high heels. I do have trouble finding them because I am petite and I wear
a size 5. I have a nice collection though. I have area rugs in my house so as I
get ready to go out any walking makes my heels click as I walk. I never really
paid attention to this until a man I date was waiting for me.
Once we got out into the car he leaned over and whispered in my ear 'Let's stay home'. I looked at him. 'I want you to walk up and down the hallways for me. Then I want to kiss you feet'. Well, the rest is just too hot to write. So, yes I love high heels.
From Larry
I have a high heel fetish but it's not the shoe. It's the woman wearing it. I
have given some thought to why high heels are so sexy to me and, to some degree,
to most men. The shape of the shoe is very sexy, even in the box, but it's when
she's wearing it that the effect is mesmerizing.
I believe it's all about physiology, physics, and psychology. The physiology has been covered by previous comments they lengthen the leg, thin the ankle, shape the calf, accentuate the booty (my favorite part), and push out the breasts. While I understand that prolonged wearing of high heels can have catastrophic consequences, I insist that my women wear them when we're alone together. Most of the time that's in the house and they spend more time with the heels pointed at the ceiling or walls than on the floor.
The physics of high heels is also quite interesting. For the woman who knows or learns how to walk and dance in them, the are the sexiest and most flattering item of clothing there is. Her movements are so dainty and feminine that it punches the chivalrous button in me, hard! I can't be gracious or attentive enough to a woman in a pair of killer heels. It forces a sexy wiggle and, if she walks very fast (much less runs) in them, all kinds of delightful things jiggle and move in ways that drive me crazy.
The most important aspect of high heels, for me at any rate, is the psychological impact they have on me. First is the vulnerable, perilous, and risky nature of them. There she is, balanced on that tiny point, looking calm and self assured. She walks like the heel as wide as her foot. The heel comes down first and she navigates across the floor as if on air. If she's on a hard floor, the sound of high heels is an additional sensory reward. I love the sound. She is very vulnerable and a mishap could clearly be serious. All that risk and peril just for me. It makes me very excited.
There is what I call the pedestal effect. She is perched up there -- glorious, tall, shapely, and above the fray. I revere my women anyway but when they put themselves up on that pedestal, I can't tell them how good they look enough. I put a woman on a pedestal in everyday life so this may not apply to the majority of men. I dote on my women and when she does things for me that I know are uncomfortable and sexy, I can't help but be grateful and appreciative.
Finally, the look of her when I have her ankles in my hands, spreading them wide apart (but not painfully so do those groin stretches, girls!), is extremely erotic. So is looking in the mirror or over my shoulder when I'm on top, seeing those high heels pointing at the ceiling. Put her on her knees and move behind her and, when she is thoroughly aroused, those pointed toes come off the bed. Delightful!
Mae West said it best "A woman in red stiletto pumps can make a man bark." Amen!
From Anonymous
Being of Italian descent, there is nothing more attractive than a pair of great
looking feet in a pair of great looking shoes.
Very high heels (more than 3 inches or so) are an uncomfortable affectation, and detract from the natural, comfortable sensuality of the foot and shoe.
I also prefer the leg bare -- there is something daring and unconventional in this. Further, if I see a woman bare legged in a pair of great looking shoes, I can easily imagine she is not wearing anything else underneath ...
From John
I love to masturbate and nothing is better than the orgasm. Sometimes when
looking at pictures while trying to get off, the pictures with high heels
trigger a orgasm right away. Two pictures with the same girl one with bare feet
the other with high heels the high heels will get me off so much quicker.
From Firemermaid
Yeah, they look great...but ohmygoddess do they hurt! remember those
wood-bottomed Candies in the late 70's? I had my first real job in a trendy
boutique, & I bought a pair of Candies mules at the urging of a few of the older
girls. Well, I think I wore 'em maybe, 3 times. My boyfriend found my struggles
to walk in the things hilarious...now I'll wear high heels for bedroom antics,
but that's it. I love cute shoes & boots, but they've gotta be comfortable. Here
in the rainy northwest, almost everyone asks that shoes be removed at the door
anyway--we wear a lot of clogs. Besides, no one's been in danger of mistaking me
for a boy since puberty---I'm already seriously curvy.
From Hal
The only thing that looks better than an attractive women in high heels is an
attractive women who is barefoot in her nylons. I remember being out with
different women who were dressed to kill. One thing I always was aware of was
that when I would bring them home and come in for a while 99 times out of 100
the first thing they would do is kick off their high heels. To me that was an
immediate sign of a woman who was relaxed and also aggressive. They quite often
would make the first move on me and start kissing and be quite amorous. It is
wonderful for me to see a woman barefoot because the memories were so wonderful.
From Steven
I have loved 'em for years. Won't let my women wear anything else. Try platforms,
still very high but not as much angle so easier to walk. Think about it. Also,
makes the leg look great, especially with hose and mini's.
From Jolie
There was a girl I knew at college who use to say "beauty knows no pain."
High heels are sexy. Flats aren't. I can be comfortable and frumpy when I'm older and my legs no longer look good. Right now I'm a physically fit 40 year old who ain't ready for that yet.
From Regina
High spikey heels....the memories. When I was a teenager, about 14 I think, most
girls were wearing big clunky platform shoes that caused them to walk like
Frankenstein's sister. My Mom refused to let me have a pair and insisted I try a
pair of her stiletto heels from the 50's when she was a fashion model.
Every evening after we all had dinner, she & I would head down to the basement to practice walking in the spikey, pointed toe shoes. She was a tough coach! "Point your boobs in the direction you're headed"...."Tuck your butt, as if you've a quarter between your cheeks"..."Glide, glide, glide, good!"
Once she felt I had perfected walking, we tackled dancing....which was weeks longer of lessons! When I arrived at my first dance looking and moving like Grace Kelly, heads turned and jaws dropped! The other girls thought I was terribly "uncool", but the boys treated me like I was a princess and my date could barely contain himself.
I was hooked from then on. I searched vintage clothing stores for "the right shoe" for years after that. When spikey heels "came back" into fashion, I was in heaven!
Once again, fashion dictates the Frankenstein's Sister look, but I've my closet full of Princess Shoes and you know what? I'm proud. Of what my Mom taught me and what it got me...looks of appreciation for the style & class that heels help a gal exhibit.
Thanks, Mom.
From Barry
I have been a high heel, foot and leg connoisseur since I was very young, in my
opinion there is nothing more feminine and sexy than a woman in heels they make
the world go around, even Marilyn Munroe said that! But I guess its in the eye
of the beholder
From Luke
My wife assures me that her heels are her greatest asset when it comes to
dealing with the opposite sex. By her account, she will simply allow a shoe to
bob gently on her foot in order to trap the poor unsuspecting fellow. From there
it is a simple task of having his eyes travel further up her stockinged leg to
that beautiful, soft, inner thigh. He is then putty in her hands......
Yes dear! I would love to mow the lawn.
From Doll Face
I'm not sure about the rest y'all out there, but I luv the way heels make me
feel sensually feminine.
Not to disagree w/ Mr. "massage therapist's" medical evaluation on the cons of long-term heel wear, but there's something about the way a beautifully crafted heel, stiletto or otherwise, can lengthen and accentuate the sexy shape of women's legs that can not be denied.
Imagine a woman in a well-cut power suit (with a knee length skirt, of course). You look down and see Rockport flats. Comfortable, reliable and very practical. Now imagine her in a classy pair of heels. The power suit conveys a business mind, but the heels...ooooh, that implies a real woman beneath it all. Would you care to unbutton and see?
From Inish
Despite all of the long term horrible things high heels can do to a woman-
nothing can beat the feeling of swaggering across a room confidently in high
heels. Heels are a tool of seduction, giving graceful curve to ones calves and
foot.
The look of a sculpted legs, delicately crossed to the side with a well designed heel dangling by ones toe- works better than a hair flip and a giggle anytime.
We woman know it is not the shoe, but the relationship we have with them that is sexy; a playful peek into one's psyche. The bold and daring red pump to the sensuous strappy sandal - women have never dressed for men - but for the effect we have on men's girlfriends. A woman who can walk tall in heels has no problem being barefoot in the bedroom. No amount of hours in a gym can give my legs the shape a well designed heel can.......
From Ruby West
I like being short. I wear heels because I like how I feel when I wear them. And
I like how folks treat me when I wear them. There really is a difference in
perception when the package is decorated differently.
From Jude Mason
I believe it's not the women that instigated the wearing of heels but men who
wished to make it more difficult for women to escape their evil clutches....
From Prerafaelite
Did you know that when a woman wears high heals it alters her centre of gravity..
therefore her hips are rotated forward which thrusts out her buttocks behind her
and in turn causes her chest to be pushed forward by the increased curvature of
her spine, which highlights her womanliness making her more attractive to the
average male. There is a basic technical description, other than that they just
look lovely.
From Drew
And as a (male) massage therapist I can say that high heels, if worn a lot, do
dreadful things to a woman's body. One big thing is that they stop from working
the natural lymphatic "pump" which happens when humans walk. Walking barefooted
or in flat shoes causes the calf muscles to contract and relax in such a way
that lymph (the fluid which sits between the cells of body tissue) is squeezed
upwards through the lymphatic channels, taking with it toxins and metabolic
wastes from cells.
When you stop that pumping action from working by wearing high heel shoes,
unpleasant side effects can result including fluid retention and swollen ankles,
etc. The lack of this pumping is also believed to be a contributing factor to
varicose veins. Not to mention that all increased spinal curvature produces it's
own set of problems including back pain, incorrect recruitment of muscles needed
to stablise the spine, and tension all the way up the back to even the neck and
head. Tight and imbalanced muscles in this latter area are a big contributor to
headaches.
So ... they may make a woman look "lovely" but at a high cost, and I don't think
it is at all loving of men to expect women to do harm to themselves in
this way simply to increase their attractiveness. My ex-spouse had a pair which
basically were reserved for "bedroom" wear ... she'd dress up in them to do a
striptease but that was about all ... and they always came off very quickly.
From Charlie
I'd rather watch women walk around bare foot. The bottom of their feet always
seem so tender and they kind of hop and skip around trying not to hurt
themselves which makes everything wiggle and jiggle. Yep, I like that.
From Sandaidh
I like heels. I like the way they make my legs look. But...I don't like
wearing them for any length of time. Now that I'm in my own place, I find that I
prefer going barefoot. Even before, I usually wore flat slippers around the
house, or a pair of moccasins (real ones that I made). When younger, I had a
preference for cowboy boots with a walking heel. Plain, utility type ones. (Acme
Spur-ridge, if I remember the name correctly. It's been about 30 years since I
last bought boots like that.) Nowadays I usually wear hiking boots, and if I can
get high-tops I do, for the ankle support. That's what I wear to work where I'm
on my feet for 8 hours a day, non-stop. Even so, my feet get tired. But, to get
back to looking sexy...I prefer to be barefoot.
with courtesy of erotica-readers.com
What does it take for a woman to succeed in world politics? Despite the progress made in the last century, there are still few women leaders.
Hear these eleven women talk about how they achieved success. Find out what motivates them and how they overcame the barriers they faced. Can women have it all? Using exclusive material from recent interviews and the BBC archive, follow these profiles to discover what it takes.
Cantor (a New Jersey psychologist) and Bernay (Neuropsychiatric Institute/UCLA) interview 25 prominent female elected officials in an attempt to analyze what life experiences enable women leaders to succeed. The results are largely predictable--though possibly useful for parents with ambitions for their daughters. The authors' project was a challenging one--to identify the obstacles that stood in the way of this country's most successful female elected officials and to examine how those obstacles are best overcome. Unfortunately, the necessarily sanitized ``official stories'' of such movers and shakers as Texas Governor Ann Richards, Colorado Representative Pat Schroeder, and Maryland Senator Barbara Mikulsky, plus the brevity of the authors' interviews with their subjects (about an hour per subject, usually sandwiched between other pressing appointments in a busy schedule) seem unlikely sources of insight into what really makes today's women leaders tick. The result is a rather starry-eyed formula for success: ``Leadership'' = ``Competent Self'' (feeling of self- confidence) + ``Creative Aggression'' (ability to speak out and take initiative) + ``WomanPower'' (the determination and ability to make the world a better place). Strong mothers, admiring fathers, higher (and, often, all-female) education, and a supportive spouse all help encourage such qualities in women. Still, the study's failure to delve into the ways in which some of their subjects overcame an absence of such support--as well as its failure to compare the subjects' life experiences with those of unsuccessful women politicians and successful political men--leaves the source of women leaders' unusual confidence and drive largely a mystery. The foreword by Diane Feinstein and afterword by Geraldine Ferraro are likely to offer readers more insight into what makes a female leader, and may inspire more perceptive studies in the future. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title... ...La fessée est l'une des pratiques sexuelles les plus anciennes et les plus répandues. Sans violence ni humiliation - ou juste avec un peu des deux - ce petit jeu entre adultes consentants a toujours été l'un des éléments des rituels érotiques les plus torrides. Conseillée naguère pour réveiller les ardeurs masculines, la fessée, pour peu que vous n'en abusiez pas, deviendra l'une des complices de vos ébats. Un guide enfin vous dit tout, vous donne tous les conseils pratiques pour accéder au plaisir sans la douleur. - This webring is not here to glorify unequal balance of male/female, or to put down men. It is here to celebrate that which is women. It is here to glorify the wonder of the female species. Women give birth. Women raise a child. Women feed. Women teach. Women dominate... I Was A Teenage Dominatrix is the true story of how Shawna Kenney put herself through American University in Washington DC by working as a dominatrix... Holden Caulfield in leather...
High Heels: 4 Inches Closer to Heaven
"To be carried by shoes, winged by them. To wear dreams on one's feet is to
begin to give reality to one's dreams."
-Roger Vivier
Shoes of every make and style are loved by women across the globe but it is the heel, whether stiletto or platform that is coveted, adored, desired in such abundance simply in and of the shoe itself. They're everywhere. They run rampant in books, calendars, photographs, album and movie covers, dangling in miniature precious metal versions from earlobes and chains, women's closets and even their living rooms, and let's not forget their most important place of residence- women's feet. They're a constant obsession in pop culture, endlessly talked about and fetishized in television, movies, song lyrics, and seem to be worn without fail by glamorous celebrities no matter the occasion. The most notorious of the shoe loving pop culture media is of the smash HBO series Sex and the City, in which shoes are one of its main themes.
Cast of Sex and
the City at
http://www.spiegel.de/kultur/gesellschaft/0,1518,grossbild-233666-286899,00.html
What's in a
shoe? Perhaps it was originally intended to protect one's feet from the
elements but today the shoe has evolved from its practical origins to
grandiose heights, and at the highest level is of course, the high heel. Heels
are not something one simply wears on their feet, but a passion, hobby,
personal expression, source of authority, sexual independence, staple of
gendered feminine culture, mark of flaunted femininity, psychologically
empowering, and joy. Women choose to wear high heels for many reasons; the key
is that they indeed are the ones who proactively choose to endorse the high
heel, often at the expense of their own physical comfort.
High heels have long been stigmatized as a crippling mechanism of the ever
present and detrimental patriarchy. As a system of values, categorizations,
lateral and vertical hierarchies, oppression, subordination, presentation and
performance overlaying American society, meanings are infused in every aspect
of life. It appears impossible to escape misogynistic values but as Judith
Butler writes, "The law might not only be refused, but it might also be
ruptured, forced into a rearticulation that calls into question the
monotheistic force of its own unilateral operation." (Butler, 122) In other
words, never underestimate the "range of disobedience;" (Butler, 122) because
the possibilities of rejecting domination are endless.
The significance of shoes, feet and high heels have a history of masculine
power and female fetishization. Opponents of the high heel often call upon
fascist beauty standards and self destructive desires to please men as the
culprits responsible for causing women to don back breaking heels which limit
mobility and cause extreme physical harm not only to the feet but also the
knees and back.
However, high heels are most often learned in a matrilineal context; whether
one learns to wear them from watching and/or hearing their mother, their
favorite actress or pop culture in general, the appreciation is taught by
women. It is a conscientious decision made by women to participate in a
crafted female culture. Little girls emulate their mothers and role models and
the guiding women in their life, friends or relatives teach them. High heels
are a way of passing on "the feminine" as a learned process.
Little girl
wearing her mother's heels
http://www.iguanaproductions.net/Mikayla/January%202004/MikaylaShoes.jpg
Harmful footwear being perpetuated by women is nothing new; it can be seen in other cultures. Most notorious is Chinese foot binding in which it was seen as a rite of passage. Between the ages of 3 and 8, girls underwent "gin lien" in which, according to tradition, a mother gave her daughter a pedicure then folded the four toes forward and under the arch, bound them, only to unbind them thereafter to bath and bandage them further and tighter to the hopeful form of the rare and glorified three inch "golden lotus." (O'Keefe, 405) In Western society high heels are also damaging if worn frequently and like Chinese foot binding are self inflicted within the feminine realm.
A traditional Chinese "lotus" shoe. - http://www.silcom.com/~bevjack/03.html
Speaking of the
high heel and specifically the stiletto, Caroline Cox, author Stiletto, says,
"Not for nothing do we refer to stilettos as killer heels. These are shoes
that blatantly contravene the original purpose of footwear: to protect the
feet and aid mobility." (Cox, Instyle Magazine) There are earlier records of
high heel shoes that served a practical function such as heeled boots horse
riders wore to grip their stirrups better.
However, 1533 was the year that gave birth to the high heel that served no
purpose other than beauty and vanity. Catherine de Medicis, aged 15, brought
them with her from Florence to the French court when she wed the Duke d'Orleans
where they were eagerly embraced by Parisian noblewomen. Up until the 1700s,
the five inch heel was most popular amongst European women. However, when the
French monarchy fell, so did the height of shoes. From then on heels rose and
fell depending on current fashions and politics. (O'Keefe, 74)
The high heel returned to dominate fashion in the middle of the 1900s and in
1988 America's first heel factory opened, allowing for easier access and
availability. However, the 1950's ushered in the era of the stiletto. O'Keefe
says, "Of all the miracles of modern shoe technology, the stiletto may stand
as the greatest." (O'Keefe, 120) The architecture is such that a women's
weight is balanced on a heel the size of a pencil.
While high
heels have remained popular, in the last half century they have been a
controversial topic. Many second wave feminists rejected standards of "feminine
beauty," denouncing what they saw as women, "being forced, by social and mass
media representations controlled by men, to see themselves in fragments
through male eyes." (Gamman, 95) High heels came under attack along with many
other gendered aesthetic objects at this time. However, in the eighties high
heels were reclaimed in the name of personal choice and women's empowerment.
"Dressing up, grooming, and playing around with identity could not be regarded
as a response to oppression or the 'male gaze' when sisters said they were
doing it for themselves." (Gamman, 96)
It was at this time that women really began to conscientiously reclaim the "feminine"
as a personal and even rebellious decision. Nancy Friday, author of The Power
of Beauty, writes, "We do it for the image in the mirror, the reflection of
ourselves as hot and in charge, an extraordinarily satisfying goal that we can
live with more happily than with a man; who needs him?" (Friday, 466) Today
the arguments surrounding high heels fluctuate depending on style and
popularity.
Much of the intense debate around high heels is generated by the harmful
effects of high heels and especially the stiletto. More and more studies
emerge everyday with resounding voices saying that shoes are physically
detrimental. Foot doctors say that continual use of high heels with narrow toe
space can actually lead to foot deformities. A clinical professor of
orthopedics, Michael J. Coughlin says, "The deformities that often develop
after years of wearing high-fashion pumps are similar to foot problems that
were formerly seen in Chinese women whose feet had been bound." (Okie in
Benstock and Ferriss) Additionally, long time wear of high heels is also being
linked to knee arthritis in women, and most recently, back problems.
Women receive 90% of foot surgeries performed in the United States.
http://www.hbo.com/city/look/carrie_4.shtml
Sarah Jessica Parker of Sex and the City says "You have to learn how to wear his (Manolo Blahnik) shoes – it doesn't happen overnight... I've destroyed my feet completely, but I don't care. What do you really need your feet for, anyway?"
While health issues may be the immediate issue of high heel detractors,
another is mobility. "A feminine shoe imposes a new problem of grace and self
consciousness on what otherwise would be a simple act of locomotion, and in
this artful handicap lies its subjugation and supposed charm." (Gamman, 96)
Whether nine inch heels preferred by strippers or three inch "kitten heels"
being worn by teenage girls, they reduce mobility and physical ease to varying
degrees.
The dangers are many; everything from side walk grating, stairs, slick floors,
any speed faster than a leisure pace, any distance longer than a ten minute
stroll, to the impossibility of crossing a lawn without sinking and being left
to yank leg while balancing on the ball of the other sinking foot. High heels
are the most challenging shoes one can wear if walking is the objective.
It is their paradox; heels are shoes that don't protect but harm, don't
provide comfort but instead are more likely to be intensely uncomfortable,
don't aid movement but restrict it. In dangerous situations, high heels hinder
escape and have been denounced by feminist detractors for, "slowing them down
when the need to run away from male violence and oppressors arose." (Gamman,
96)
However, mobility is not the point of high heels. In Allison Pearson's
bestselling novel, I Don't Know How She Does, the protagonist is a
professional woman who continually refers to the "armor" she wears into the
office. When she has a particular need to impress, her suits get more
expensive and her heels get higher. When asked how she can even walk she
bluntly says, "Walking is not the point." (Pearson)
The question remains; what is the point of high heels? Their very existence
and women's dedication to them is full of complicated innuendos, infused with
meanings, drenched in politics and striking to the heart of what it is to be "feminine."
High heels speak to women and society. They refuse to be considered just
another accessory, but demand recognition of their complexity and power and
feminine construction.
When wearing high heels, one cannot slouch or hang back. Linda O' Keefe,
author of, Shoes: A Celebration of Pumps, Sandals, Slippers and More, writes,
"Physically, it is impossible for a woman to cower in high heels. She is
forced to take a stand, to strike a pose, because anatomically her center of
gravity has been displaced forward." (O'Keefe, 71) This proactive stance,
sexually enhanced posture, and added height provide psychological empowerment
for the wearer and convey an autonomous and feminine message into society.
Simon Doonan, creative director of Barney's in New York says "High heels
create a level of authority." (Gamman, 98)
High heels infuse the wearer with a sense of power; more importantly feminine
power, not an offshoot of some masculine aspect. Lee Wright, "points to the
associations of the stiletto with symbols of 'liberation rather than
subordination,' symbols that are 'progressive rather than retrogressive,'
conveying 'rebellion and dominance'." (Kaite, 96) While men and masculinity
also have an interesting shoe history that at times includes various heeled
styles, today high heels are exclusively feminine. So often women in society
draw upon masculine constructs and ideas of power, adopting them for their own
instead of reclaiming the "feminine" in a powerful and authoritative way- but
they do with high heels.
High heels belong to the traditional feminine realm but do not subordinate.
They instead radiate dominance; perhaps in a subversive and gendered form, but
nonetheless it is dominance and most importantly – a woman's dominance.
Patricia Field, a Sex and the City stylist used stilettos to "symbolize the
characters' sexual power, as well as their independence." (InStyle Magazine,
346)
"I can't wear flats; I always feel like I'm walking uphill." - Anonymous
Much of this
power comes not only from the physical aspects such as height, posture and
body inflections, but also from raw sex appeal. High heels are a traditional
wardrobe staple of every vamp and streetwalker which makes sense since they
cash in and use sexuality for their own purposes and as Gamman says, "It's
hard not to be sexy in a pair of high heels." (Gamman, 98)
The high heel is the "zenith of the very feminine look," (Kaite, 96) and its
contribution to the construction of feminine identity is blatant. Despite
possible negative consequences, they have other physical effects on the wearer.
Esquire writes, "They taper the toes. They arch the instep. They lift the
calves. They tilt the fanny and bow the back and oil the hips and sashay the
gait.... They make the foot look shorter and more precious and yet add the
formidableness of extra height." (Friday, 463) They create the illusion of
longer and more defined legs, more pronounced and curved breasts, and a
rounder butt. High heels emphasize all the aspects that are considered to
belong to the realm of women's physically sexual attributes.
According to
Harper's Index, high heels
raise the buttocks as much as 25 %.
http://www.photo.net/photo/pcd1341/legs-form-25.tcl
The alluring
eroticism of women in high heels is recognized and even feared. In the United
States' earlier history, "The Massachusetts colony passed a law: 'All women,
whether virgins, maidens or widows, who...seduce or betray into matrimony any
of His Majesty's male subjects by virtue of...high heel shoes, shall incur the
penalty of the law now enforced against witchcraft.'" (Benstock & Ferriss, 10)
High heels, most effectively stilettos, embody complex paradoxes and social
innuendos. There is inherent tension between sexuality and danger. They
constantly revolve and play with the masculine/ feminine dichotomy. The "The
high heel is a weapon...and also a phallic symbol. And at the same time that
it cripples a woman, it makes her seem powerful. In heels, the woman can be
evilly subdued – she can't run very fast, she's off balance, her feet probably
hurt – but she's also taller, wearing a spiked thing that could be driven into
a man's body: It's called a stiletto after all."
"Stiletto" means "thin-bladed knife" - Kaite, 96
http://koti.mbnet.fi/bootfet/abuse_2.html
Freudian theory
says that shoes represent the female body and in dreams, they represent female
genetalia . The "Shoe is symbolic of the vagina. Tension between the "active"
and "passive" components of the shoe...It is an economic balance of two parts:
a womblike enclosure and the phallic extremity." (Kaite, 97) These are "heels
with the potential of piercing and penetrating, and thus have powerfully
invasive qualities." (Kaite, 100)
With such meaning infused in every step a woman can take, it is no wonder that
the shoe has become an object of fixation, obsession and love. In today's
world of glitzy-glam consumerism and self-discovery, every accessory can be an
attempt to encapsulate and define one's perfect self image. Ferriss and
Benstock write that there is a "...satisfaction we take in having purchased a
pair of shoes that 'is us,' that represents us... The fashionable dress of the
Western world is one means whereby an always fragmentary self is glued
together into a semblance of unified identity. Shoes serve as markers of
gender, class, race, ethnicity, and even sexuality." (Ferriss & Benstock, 4)
Shoes have always denoted lifestyle and one's place both in the formal and
informal sectors of society. As the famous Forrest Gump says, "There's an
awful lot you can tell 'bout a person by their shoes --- Where they goin,
where they been..." (Forrest Gump, 1994) In the case of high heels tend to say
one of two things about a person, high class or sex worker.
Due to the sexual aesthetics and erotic accentuation of the body they are an
ideal choice for sex workers. More importantly still is the many-layered
sexual and fetishistic meanings infused into high heels. Feet and high heels
are the number one most common sexual fetish. "The stiletto heel is a
fundamental part of the contemporary pornographic code." (Kaite, 100) Let's
face it, how often do we see a playboy bunny in sneakers?
"Ya makin' money Boys call ya Hell on high heels" - Motley Crue lyrics (2000)
http://www.oocities.org/Tokyo/Springs/7106/senna135.jpg
In contrast, the other social realm in which high heels are pervasive is the
upper class. Kaite says "The initial association between rank, wealth, and
certain styles and fabrics is made: silk and the high heel are for the
leisured classes, the bourgeois classes." (Kaite, 93) From Catherine de
Medicis and the ladies of the French court to Manolo Blahnik's "limousine
shoes," high heels proclaim wealth and status.
On the other hand, " 'Sensible shoes'- from moccasins to work boots- identify
the wearer as a member of the laboring classes, feet planted firmly on the
ground." (Benstock & Ferriss) In sensible shoes one can plow a field, pave a
road or simply walk as a means of transportation. In heels one is clearly
going "somewhere" in both the literal and metaphorical sense.
Since their Venetian birth, high heels have been markers of the privileged. In
the sixteenth century, both men and women of the leisure class wore heeled
shoes as high as thirty inches. In order to walk a servant on each side
supported them. Tamsin Blanchard, author of The Shoe: Best Foot Forward,
speaks of the similarities of foot binding and high heels. For like the high
heeled Venetians, Chinese women could hardly be expected to do much but
recline in luxury on their ideally sized three inch bound feet.
When looking at high heels and the upper class connotation of today she says,
"A similar psychology of wealth and status may still be operating, the richer
you are, the higher the heels, and the more likely it is that you only have to
walk a few short, painful steps from you limo to your destination." (Tamsin,
11) Today this upper class connotation remains, after all, "Women may 'wear'
slippers, 'put on' sneakers and 'slip into' loafers, but they 'dress' in high
heels." (O'Keefe, 72)
Another important factor speaking to the nuances of class and femininity is
foot size. With 88 percent of surveyed women wearing shoes that are too small,
there is clearly a remaining obsession with small feet. The high heel tapers
the toes and arches the foot giving the appearance not only of eroticized
curled toes but also the illusion of being small and delicate.
Perhaps the woman with the feet most renowned for their small size is the
fabled Cinderella. Even though she had been delegated to a servant's position,
the prince of the kingdom fell in love with her at the ball. However, when she
fled at midnight she left behind one impossibly small glass slipper. The
prince then searched his kingdom for the woman whose feet were small enough to
fit the slipper. He was in essence looking for the most refined, most feminine
woman in the kingdom- and all of this from the size of her feet.
Toomey wrote that the heel is "slivered to the slimmest shapes to make us all
look as dainty and delicate underfoot as a Cinderella." (Kaite, 96) Modern
women still go to great lengths in pursuit of their Cinderella charm. A study
by the American Orthopedic Foot and Ankle society estimates that the average
woman has size 8 wide feet, "but the best-selling women's shoe size is 7 ½
medium, suggesting that the average woman...is hobbling around in shoes that
are both too short and too narrow." (Friday, 465)
With so many gendered implications, it is clear that patriarchal values still
permeate society dividing men and women into masculine and feminine worlds and
furthermore into hierarchal categories. But the end result does not have to be
submission or devaluation. Women, and others, can refuse degrading
victimization and reclaim that which is ours both within and without
overarching systems.
"How tall am I?
Honey, with hair, heels and attitude I'm through this damned roof."
- RuPaul (O'Keefe, 125)
In wearing high
heels women can choose to empower themselves – yourselves – ourselves – myself
and own the power surrounding these dangerous, sexual, authoritative,
proactive gendered objects- high heels. Women are often looked at skeptically
for certain behavior such as donning sexy stilettos, as if they certainly
don't really want to wear those shoes but perhaps have just mistaken their own
desires for misogynistic beauty standards and imposed systemic values.
The truth of the matter is that we all do live in this system, is it possible
to ever disengage our desires from our experience or infused cultural
innuendos in and of the body? Perhaps yes, perhaps no; but the decision to
wear high heels is one way to rebel within a system. Women who wear these tall
heel it because they like to, for their own pleasure. Whether they like the
erotic connotations, excitement, height, delicate structures, dangerous
points, phallic penetrative qualities, royal history, haughty independence,
aesthetic beauty or a confusing combination of all of that and more, women who
love high heels do so of their own volition and desire.
Manolo Blahnik, the "high priest of high heels" (Benstock & Ferriss) sums up
the patronizing idea that women should be pitied for their chose and love of
high heels. He was once asked if he, "ever felt sorry for all those women
teetering through their lives on the spikiest of high-heeled shoes," to which
he responded, "Oh, my God, how could I feel sorry for them? Sorry. Sorry for
who? They love it." (Specter, 388)
As much as any man, women contributed to
the
sexually charged environment at Microsoft.
Popular wisdom holds that Microsoft used to be a "boyz club" for nerds, where sexism, sex discrimination and sexual harassment ruled. It is also commonly believed that men were solely responsible for this, and women have had to tame the men of Microsoft. Oh, really? This is half the truth. The other half is that women contributed at least as much, if not more, to the sexually charged environment at Microsoft. Here are just a few examples:
While sitting at my desk in Building 6 one warm afternoon late in the summer of 1988, several OEM account managers and admin assistants suddenly began crowding into my office. "What's going on," I asked. Someone explained that Jeff (a sales manager) was interviewing for a new admin assistant, and, this being his birthday, the HR rep (a woman) in charge of recruiting for OEM Sales had hired a stripper to pose as an applicant. My office, which looked out into the courtyard, provided a clear view into his office, and no one wanted to miss the show. A moment later, the HR rep showed up with the stripper and escorted her into Jeff's office. I could see how embarrassed Jeff became when the young woman turned on a tape player she had brought with her, and began dancing. Everybody (especially the women) started laughing at his discomfort and clapping when she began disrobing to the music. Now, I'm a healthy heterosexual male, but I was deeply disturbed by this -- how are you supposed to concentrate on your work after an attractive young woman gets nearly naked in the office across from you? Jeff was a good sport about it, but it was obvious he didn't appreciate it.
Carole, our (female) department head's admin, was born in England, raised in Canada, and moved to Washington state with her husband, who was born in Washington but raised in California. Carole liked to wear low cut, tight sweaters that accentuated her surgically enhanced cleavage. She also liked to go into her male coworker's offices after they had gone home for the day, and load up bitmaps of naked women* as wallpaper. She thought it was really funny to tease her male coworkers this way. One day, she stopped by my office to show off her 4" high heels (she knew I think high heels are silly). "These are my FM shoes," she said. "FM? What's that," I asked, falling for the bait. "Fuck Me," she giggled, before strutting away. Another time, she rushed into my office and laughed, "You're a nice guy, Rod, but you can be replaced by a younger man," then rushed out. When Tim Allen first appeared on cable TV with his "All Men Are Pigs" routine, she taped it and, with our department head's permission, set up a TV and VCR in the OEM Finance conference room and played the tape several times. Oh, by the way, most residents of Washington state will know Carole from a popular product she created: the Washington Native bumper sticker. She also created several others in a series that includes Washington Transplant and others.
* In fairness, it should be noted that Carole did not bring these bitmaps, but downloaded them from the network. At that time, Steve Ballmer's infamous collection of scanned nudie images were readily available...if you knew where to look. Carole did.
During the almost 4 years I worked at Microsoft, the women I met there seemed to come in two categories: those who wanted a career (the minority), and those who wanted a Microsoft millionaire (the majority). It was common to see new female employees walking down the hallways looking for promising male candidates, and many stopped by my office to introduce themselves. I liked the attention, at first, but after Heather, one of my coworkers, told me what was going on, I felt like a piece of meat -- a "success object." A long-time supporter of the feminist opposition to objectification, I found the fastest way to stop their harassment was to smile and tell them I was a low-level administrator. The term "faster than a speeding bullet" could almost describe how quickly they left. Where most of the men at Microsoft came for a career, their motives were as carnal as they were materialistic. If anybody has been guilty of making the workplace at Microsoft "sexually charged," they are.
In 1990, everybody knew about the woman in building 8 (where I worked from 1989 through 1991) who wore the leather miniskirt. She flaunted it, wearing miniskirts, tight sweaters, low cut blouses, and high heeled calf high boots. No one dared comment to criticize or compliment, because we all knew she was looking for any excuse to cause trouble. One might almost say she was creating a "hostile work environment" for men.
As is common in every other office I've worked in, the women at Microsoft talked about almost nothing but sex. It was quite common for my single female coworkers to gather in the hallway to discuss their latest sexual conquests. Indeed, Tracy took special delight in it because, as a Mormon, she wasn't supposed to do that kind of thing, and she enjoyed it more because she believed it was a sin. Callie took it one step further, letting many single guys know she and her husband had an open relationship, and she loved sex. (She also liked to brag about all the anti-depressant drugs she was on. Wonder why.)
One afternoon while walking down the hallway of the northeast corridor on the first floor of Building 8, I overheard two women ahead of me talking about a woman one of them had just interviewed for a position in Marketing. She said the applicant had all the necessary qualifications, but "she belonged to the wrong sorority in college." Discrimination by any other name,...
As much as so many of the Microsoft women played the game, they were hateful of any other woman who was more successful at it than they were. Trish, whose beauty had begun to fray from her years of chasing after small-time rock stars, was out to find herself a husband, and she let a lot of us know it. Several other women I knew complained to me about how "brazen" she was. As if it's "brazen" for a woman to declare she wants a husband, but not brazen to stand around in the hallway talking about sex.
The one thing most men don't fully comprehend is the women's grapevine. You find out all sorts of things about people by listening. Things like who's sleeping with whom, who's having an illicit affair, who got ahead by sleeping with the right person. One day I was disappointed to find out a woman I had greatly admired (and had always thought of as being inaccessible to a man like me because she was so close to the top) had secured a very big promotion for a guy she was sleeping with. Although the popular wisdom is that the men at Microsoft have been guilty of offering to boost the careers of female subordinates who sleep with them, the truth is a significant number of women at Microsoft have been just as guilty of this kind of sexual harassment. Indeed, had I been more open to my department head's attentions, by now I might have been a Microsoft millionaire, too.
Pat, one of my coworkers, made a habit of coming into my office and commenting on how sexy I looked in my jeans. Upon one occasion, Tim, our controller, joked that, for all they knew, I could be sitting behind my desk naked from the waist down. "Now I'm doubly impressed," she said. Such attention at work made me very uncomfortable.
Lorraine, a manager, was always telling off-color jokes at work. On one occasion when her team was going to be visited by members of the press, she noticed that one of her male subordinates was wearing jeans that did not have a flap covering his zipper. She whipped out a black marking pen and offered to color the zipper for him.
Marlene was a sexy admin who made a habit of wearing tight white sweaters and no bra. In another time and place, that would be very nice; at work, it was distracting and inappropriate.
Nancy, an HR rep, once scolded me for using the word, "gal." "That's sexist," she said. I asked her if the word "guy" was sexist. "No," she said, "but gal is." There's a double standard in there, somewhere.
I've left out most of the details, and I could provide dozens more detailed examples, including the full names of everyone involved. (I'm a writer, I kept notes. Just as I kept detailed notes at my last place of employment...in case anyone there is reading this.) But these should suffice to make my point -- yes, the work environment at Microsoft is (or was) sexually charged, and some of that, certainly, was due to male chauvinism. But there were a lot of women there who fully supported it, fed it, and used it to their advantage. As badly as some men behaved, there were a lot of women right there beside them and, in some cases, leading the way.
And Nell charged me with sexual harassment for just one time complimenting another one of her subordinates? Uh-huh. Jealousy can be an ugly thing, but I'll get to that story later.
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