Some may see "Secretary" - the BDSM themed independent film that opened this week in New York and Los Angeles - as a slap in the face to orthodox feminist thinking. Others may perceive it as a "stylized critique of power and submission in the workplace and its inescapably erotic subtext," (The New York Times.) CAKE sees "Secretary" as a romantic comedy in which two lonely people locked inside their private fantasies discover a miraculous sexual harmony.

"Secretary" is a fine example of really good actors, playing superbly developed characters, exploring sexual power dynamics on the big screen in a fresh and innovative way - something that has not happened since...ever??? Previous examples of cinematic sadomasochism have either taken the form of a humorous cartoonish leather-clad dominatrix wielding a riding crop or grim and clinical characters unhappy with their lives and themselves. Moreover, power and BDSM are usually compartmentalized and rarely shown in the context of a healthy relationship.

Many women report to CAKE the desire for a fluid relationship between domination and submission with their partners where they are able to move between both roles depending on their mood and desires. In today's era of free sexual expression, the "Secretary" reminds us that unlocking shame and living out one's desires can transform into experiencing pleasure and personal liberation. So, when it comes to BDSM can an empowered female character be submissive? If feminism has done its job, then the answer is a resounding YES.

"SM is about two things: being brave enough to play with power and realize it's moveable and malleable, and also the desire to be overwhelmed and to be overwhelming. Which is no different than any other kind of sex if it's any good. Both apply to all kinds of intimacy. It's just a little more obvious with SM," says Maggie Gyllenhaal who plays Lee. Nicely said, but it can get complicated. The bottom line is if you believe a woman is necessarily disempowered if she chooses to play submissive roles, then you assume that she is not equal. You must also consider the possibility that a woman who gets off on being dominated might just be the one who is ultimately in control. Again, it's complicated.

For previous generations there have been rules about how women can and can't be treated; what is okay to want and desire; what is sexy. Now these rules may do more harm than good - they may actually be constricting women's desires and choices to explore different sexual roles; roles that can bring about sexual empowerment, and personal choices of pleasure. Past feminist assumptions about women must be redefined to suit new generations.

Power has been, is, and always will be an integral part of getting turned on, and getting off. For some, power play is a very specific practice, requiring styled attire, props, tools, and an open and consensual partner. For others, power can be a more subtle part of sex, or may play out more prominently in fantasies than reality. Most importantly, pleasurable power play is about an interaction - one where each party must communicate to get what they want.

The film's refusal to distinguish between reality and fantasy makes its deepest point: that what's erotic to any of us originates in the mind and profoundly colors our perceptions of sexuality; in the realm of sexual excitement, fantasy is reality. Above all, this movie is damn sexy. Ah, how refreshing! Go check it out for yourself.

What does it take for a woman to succeed in world politics? Despite the progress made in the last century, there are still few women leaders.

Hear these eleven women talk about how they achieved success. Find out what motivates them and how they overcame the barriers they faced. Can women have it all? Using exclusive material from recent interviews and the BBC archive, follow these profiles to discover what it takes.

Cantor (a New Jersey psychologist) and Bernay (Neuropsychiatric Institute/UCLA) interview 25 prominent female elected officials in an attempt to analyze what life experiences enable women leaders to succeed. The results are largely predictable--though possibly useful for parents with ambitions for their daughters. The authors' project was a challenging one--to identify the obstacles that stood in the way of this country's most successful female elected officials and to examine how those obstacles are best overcome. Unfortunately, the necessarily sanitized ``official stories'' of such movers and shakers as Texas Governor Ann Richards, Colorado Representative Pat Schroeder, and Maryland Senator Barbara Mikulsky, plus the brevity of the authors' interviews with their subjects (about an hour per subject, usually sandwiched between other pressing appointments in a busy schedule) seem unlikely sources of insight into what really makes today's women leaders tick. The result is a rather starry-eyed formula for success: ``Leadership'' = ``Competent Self'' (feeling of self- confidence) + ``Creative Aggression'' (ability to speak out and take initiative) + ``WomanPower'' (the determination and ability to make the world a better place). Strong mothers, admiring fathers, higher (and, often, all-female) education, and a supportive spouse all help encourage such qualities in women. Still, the study's failure to delve into the ways in which some of their subjects overcame an absence of such support--as well as its failure to compare the subjects' life experiences with those of unsuccessful women politicians and successful political men--leaves the source of women leaders' unusual confidence and drive largely a mystery. The foreword by Diane Feinstein and afterword by Geraldine Ferraro are likely to offer readers more insight into what makes a female leader, and may inspire more perceptive studies in the future. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title... ...La fessée est l'une des pratiques sexuelles les plus anciennes et les plus répandues. Sans violence ni humiliation - ou juste avec un peu des deux - ce petit jeu entre adultes consentants a toujours été l'un des éléments des rituels érotiques les plus torrides. Conseillée naguère pour réveiller les ardeurs masculines, la fessée, pour peu que vous n'en abusiez pas, deviendra l'une des complices de vos ébats. Un guide enfin vous dit tout, vous donne tous les conseils pratiques pour accéder au plaisir sans la douleur. - This webring is not here to glorify unequal balance of male/female, or to put down men. It is here to celebrate that which is women. It is here to glorify the wonder of the female species. Women give birth. Women raise a child. Women feed. Women teach. Women dominate... I Was A Teenage Dominatrix is the true story of how Shawna Kenney put herself through American University in Washington DC by working as a dominatrix... Holden Caulfield in leather...

Carole, our (female) department head's admin, was born in England, raised in Canada, and moved to Washington state with her husband, who was born in Washington but raised in California. Carole liked to wear low cut, tight sweaters that accentuated her surgically enhanced cleavage. She also liked to go into her male coworker's offices after they had gone home for the day, and load up bitmaps of naked women^* as wallpaper. She thought it was really funny to tease her male coworkers this way. One day, she stopped by my office to show off her 4" high heels (she knew I think high heels are silly). "These are my FM shoes," she said. "FM? What's that," I asked, falling for the bait. "Fuck Me," she giggled, before strutting away. Another time, she rushed into my office and laughed, "You're a nice guy, Rod, but you can be replaced by a younger man," then rushed out. When Tim Allen first appeared on cable TV with his "All Men Are Pigs" routine, she taped it and, with our department head's permission, set up a TV and VCR in the OEM Finance conference room and played the tape several times. Oh, by the way, most residents of Washington state will know Carole from a popular product she created: the Washington Native bumper sticker. She also created several others in a series that includes Washington Transplant and others.

* In fairness, it should be noted that Carole did not bring these bitmaps, but downloaded them from the network. At that time, Steve Ballmer's infamous collection of scanned nudie images were readily available...if you knew where to look. Carole did.

During the almost 4 years I worked at Microsoft, the women I met there seemed to come in two categories: those who wanted a career (the minority), and those who wanted a Microsoft millionaire (the majority). It was common to see new female employees walking down the hallways looking for promising male candidates, and many stopped by my office to introduce themselves. I liked the attention, at first, but after Heather, one of my coworkers, told me what was going on, I felt like a piece of meat -- a "success object." A long-time supporter of the feminist opposition to objectification, I found the fastest way to stop their harassment was to smile and tell them I was a low-level administrator. The term "faster than a speeding bullet" could almost describe how quickly they left. Where most of the men at Microsoft came for a career, their motives were as carnal as they were materialistic. If anybody has been guilty of making the workplace at Microsoft "sexually charged," they are.

In 1990, everybody knew about the woman in building 8 (where I worked from 1989 through 1991) who wore the leather miniskirt. She flaunted it, wearing miniskirts, tight sweaters, low cut blouses, and high heeled calf high boots. No one dared comment to criticize or compliment, because we all knew she was looking for any excuse to cause trouble. One might almost say she was creating a "hostile work environment" for men.

As is common in every other office I've worked in, the women at Microsoft talked about almost nothing but sex. It was quite common for my single female coworkers to gather in the hallway to discuss their latest sexual conquests. Indeed, Tracy took special delight in it because, as a Mormon, she wasn't supposed to do that kind of thing, and she enjoyed it more because she believed it was a sin. Callie took it one step further, letting many single guys know she and her husband had an open relationship, and she loved sex. (She also liked to brag about all the anti-depressant drugs she was on. Wonder why.)

One afternoon while walking down the hallway of the northeast corridor on the first floor of Building 8, I overheard two women ahead of me talking about a woman one of them had just interviewed for a position in Marketing. She said the applicant had all the necessary qualifications, but "she belonged to the wrong sorority in college." Discrimination by any other name,...

As much as so many of the Microsoft women played the game, they were hateful of any other woman who was more successful at it than they were. Trish, whose beauty had begun to fray from her years of chasing after small-time rock stars, was out to find herself a husband, and she let a lot of us know it. Several other women I knew complained to me about how "brazen" she was. As if it's "brazen" for a woman to declare she wants a husband, but not brazen to stand around in the hallway talking about sex.

The one thing most men don't fully comprehend is the women's grapevine. You find out all sorts of things about people by listening. Things like who's sleeping with whom, who's having an illicit affair, who got ahead by sleeping with the right person. One day I was disappointed to find out a woman I had greatly admired (and had always thought of as being inaccessible to a man like me because she was so close to the top) had secured a very big promotion for a guy she was sleeping with. Although the popular wisdom is that the men at Microsoft have been guilty of offering to boost the careers of female subordinates who sleep with them, the truth is a significant number of women at Microsoft have been just as guilty of this kind of sexual harassment. Indeed, had I been more open to my department head's attentions, by now I might have been a Microsoft millionaire, too.

Pat, one of my coworkers, made a habit of coming into my office and commenting on how sexy I looked in my jeans. Upon one occasion, Tim, our controller, joked that, for all they knew, I could be sitting behind my desk naked from the waist down. "Now I'm doubly impressed," she said. Such attention at work made me very uncomfortable.

Lorraine, a manager, was always telling off-color jokes at work. On one occasion when her team was going to be visited by members of the press, she noticed that one of her male subordinates was wearing jeans that did not have a flap covering his zipper. She whipped out a black marking pen and offered to color the zipper for him.

Marlene was a sexy admin who made a habit of wearing tight white sweaters and no bra. In another time and place, that would be very nice; at work, it was distracting and inappropriate.

Nancy, an HR rep, once scolded me for using the word, "gal." "That's sexist," she said. I asked her if the word "guy" was sexist. "No," she said, "but gal is." There's a double standard in there, somewhere.

I've left out most of the details, and I could provide dozens more detailed examples, including the full names of everyone involved. (I'm a writer, I kept notes. Just as I kept detailed notes at my last place of employment...in case anyone there is reading this.) But these should suffice to make my point -- yes, the work environment at Microsoft is (or was) sexually charged, and some of that, certainly, was due to male chauvinism. But there were a lot of women there who fully supported it, fed it, and used it to their advantage. As badly as some men behaved, there were a lot of women right there beside them and, in some cases, leading the way.

And Nell charged me with sexual harassment for just one time complimenting another one of her subordinates? Uh-huh. Jealousy can be an ugly thing, but I'll get to that story later.


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Sexy, Chic and Dangerous:
High Heels

High heels has a long history as a icon for social status, sexuality and power. One of ten women would use good looking shoes even if they get pains from using them.

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Sexy, Chic and Dangerous: High Heels

High heels has a long history as a icon for social status, sexuality and power. One of ten women would use good looking shoes even if they get pains from using them.

Sexy, Chic and Dangerous:
High Heels