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Behind Closed Doors
Behind closed doors you never know The "private" lives that friends don't show It happens in the best of places And shows up first on children's faces First, the look of their sad eyes Then their voice complete with sighs They don't talk much nor do they play You ask them why, but they won't say
Their bear the weight of parents' sin Of daily abuse and anger turned in They have that look that says, Dont Touch I've had enough, in fact too much They fight with all to show their power But while at home they sit and cower To wait upon their nightly whip Sometimes from hands, sometimes from lips It matters not where comes the pain From stinging slaps or words that shame 'Cause as they grow in size and age Their minds still fill with thoughts of rage And when they wed and parents are They still bear wounds and have deep scars That bind them in so many ways To their past lives which they replay And on and on the cycle goes Unless it stops and we can show That "private" lives in "private" places Ruin future lives in future spaces So be not silent, don't turn in fear Reach for their hand, give them your ear With gifts of love, touch their young heart And the cycle of hate, you'll surely part (C) JayGee01 |
| Domestic Violence holds deep affects on our children. In fact,our children are silent sufferers. If you are frightened in your own home, imagine the feelings your child has. The terror. Imagine the lessons your child is learning from hearing, watching, and feeling your pain? You can break the cycle of violence today. You can do it. There are several organizations willing to help. They can get you to safety. All you need to do is ask. Do not fear being alone. Many volunteers have walked your steps. They know how you feel. They too have felt it. You are not alone. You are also not strange or unusual. You should not feel hesitant. Many of women have been in your shoes, only to come out a survivor. It is your turn. Ask and you shall receive help. And if you feel your OK, you truly believe you can survive the abuse, and keep it hidden from the children, please stop, and take the time to read the facts below. If you don't think your strong enough to leave for yourself, then please, leave for your babies! |
| Fact's on children growing up in abusive homes:
Domestic violence is a crime against all family members, but its saddest victims are children. Seventy-percent of children living in violent homes are themselves physically abused or seriously neglected.
When children witness abuse, or are abused, they are seeing, hearing and learning about violence. They learn that the people you love most, may hurt you, that living in fear is normal, and that violence is the way to handle conflict. As they learn, a generational cycle begins in which children grow up to be victims and abusers as adults.
For children, the effects of domestic violence are devasting. Some of the major effects are: Emotional/Behavior Problems: Anxiety: children worry about when th enext outbreak of violence will occur. Fear: children are afraid that one parent will die or be seriously injured. Guilt: Children think the abuse is their fault. Confused Feelings: Children are upset by their mixed feelings of love and hate for parents and of fearing the wanting to be with the abuser. Lack of Trust: Children have difficulty in forming positive relationships due to lack of parental nurturing. Poor Self-esteem: children inherit low self-esteem from parents. Aggressiveness: Many children "act out" violence they witness at home. Passiveness: Some children are overly eager to please any adult. Role Revesal: Children are often placed in the parental or caretaker role, because the parents are too involved in the abusive situation to adequately address the family's needs. School Problems: Children want to stay home, because they think they can control the abuse. This results in truancy, poor attention span, grade failing and dropping out. Depression: Children feel overwhelmed by their inability to stop abuse, and in some cases children are suicidal.
Physical Problems: Developmental Delays: children are often behind developmentally, due to lack of parental nurturing and stress. In babies, this takes the form of failure to thrive. Speech Disorders: Children develop speech disorders as a result of stress. Stress-Related Ailments: Children often complain about headaches, stomach-aches, and feeling bad. Children are accident prone. Children may wet the bed. Physical Abuse: Children are often themselves victims of abuse.
When They Grow Older Children who experience violence at home, often turn this violence out on the community. A high percentage of juvenile delinquents are battered children. Eight percent of men in prisons grew up in violent homes. In murders by boys ages 11-20, 63% killed the men who were abusing their mothers. Often teenagers from violent homes turn to drugs and alcohol. Many escape into early marriages and/or pregnancies. Violence is a learned behavior. many children who witness abuse grow up to repeat the behavior as spouses and as parents. Seventy-three percent of batterers witnessed violence as children.
Back to Domestic Violence Resources at Woman's World
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