Title: Let?s Try This Again
Summary: Xander and Graham?s second date goes a little better then their first
Rating: R
Disclaimer: They?re not mine
Archive: UCSL, Xanderslash, Graham Crackers
Date: July 15, 2000
E-mail: Saone@yahoo.com

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He's so beautiful. Yeah, yeah, I know, broken record. But I can't help it. Not now, not when his lips are moving against mine, and my body?s pressed so close to his. Times like these I'm just kinda awed that this amazing creature is here with me. I mean, I've dated before and I?ve had lovers, but. . . I've never had a Xander.

It?s been an occasionally trying, but infinitely rewarding experience.

Why am I thinking at all? I should be just enjoying the moment, riding the sensations, trying to figure out how to get our shirts off without letting go of each other, but for some reason my brain just won?t stop with the higher thought process.

I gotta say, though, I am damn proud of myself for how I set things up.

Since our first date was so. . . eventful, I suggested our second simply consist of a nice, quiet evening at home. Pizza, videos, and a really comfy couch. Do you need more?

I had given Riley explicit instructions that, if at any time during the patrol major badness was sighted, he was to do everything *except* call us. The whole saving the world thing could get along just fine without us two mortals for one night.

He had agreed, albeit reluctantly. He definitely was not liking the currant plan of ?Lets wait and see what the bad guy does next.? Xander had been right, though. That was the most prudent thing to do. We had spent all yesterday just hanging around Giles? apartment, looking through various books, trying assorted spells, and we still weren?t any closer to finding out who created that Golem.

Last night had been fairly quiet, only a couple vamps, and Riley was starting to get antsy about the whole thing. He was used to being told exactly who to fight and getting a dossier about the whole thing. Come to think of it, so was I. Then again, my mind had much more important things to worry about, like. . . what kind of pizza topping Xander likes, and what would be the best strategic location for the box of Altoids. That was a tough one. It?s placement had to say ?Get rid of pizza breath?, but not ?Get rid of pizza breath cause I?m planning to throw you on the couch and kiss you til you pass out from lack of oxygen.? It was a tactical nightmare.

At least I already had the videos picked out.

See, I had a feeling that Xander would be a squirmer in movies. You know the type. He gets into the stuff on the screen so much he actually starts moving around in his seat. Used to drive me nuts when Ri did it. . . course I never wanted *Riley* wiggling next to me.

So, armed with that hunch, I had decided to have an Alfred Hitchcock fest. ?Rear Window?, a soft couch, and a slightly hyper Xander wriggling beside me.

Machiavellian, wasn't it?

It worked too, until we were about half way through ?North By Northwest? when I realized Xander wasn?t squirming around anymore. I turned to him, wondering if anything was wrong, and I found him just staring at me.

It was. . . like I was caught by his eyes. Our faces were only a couple inches away from each other and I don?t think I could have looked away even if I wanted to. How incredibly stupid does *that* sound? Words just cannot do justice to what I felt, what I always feel when he looks at me that way.

Without a word we covered the distance between us and began to kiss, and kiss, and kiss, and. . . you get the general idea. I could feel his hands on my neck and back, pressing me closer to him, then pulling me down over him when he laid back.

That?s where we are now.

His body's so solid, and. . . just feels so right, under mine, and suddenly there are so many other things I want to do with my mouth. It just kinda hits me how much of his skin I haven?t tasted yet. That needs to be remedied.

I pull back only far enough to look at his face. He?s so beautiful like this, all flushed and panting and wanting. . . or is that wanton? Whatever.

I move to his neck. God, he tastes so. . . him. Skin?s so soft, but the muscles underneath it are hard, and I can feel them tensing as Xan shifts underneath me. His head falls back, and his neck arches, and he?s granted me access to his throat.

?Graham.?

Flesh so tender and vulnerable. I can feel the blood rushing under his skin, and. . . he?s mine.

?Graham. . . wait.?

All mine, and. . .Wait? What?

?Ow! Wait a second.?

Ow! He said ow! Oh no. Oh God. Oh no. What did I do? I pull back completely and sit up, giving him some space. I?ll give him all the space in the world if he wants it. Please don?t make him want that.

?What?s. . . what?? I?m breathless. Funny how all the excitement just mutated right into mind numbing fear.

Xander grimaced and shifted a bit, his hand reaching under his back. ?Remote.?

Remote? Remote what? What did I do wrong, and what the hell is he talking about?

Xander scrunches his face, and I can see he's got something in his hand. ?Sorry, I couldn?t quite handle the tv accessory poking into my spine.?

Oh, *the* remote. Huh, I had wondered where that had gotten to.

He pitches the piece of plastic onto the coffeetable, and then gives me a curious look. ?What?s wrong??

What could possibly be wrong? You know, besides the awful gut wrenching moment I just had when I thought I had been forcing you to do something and this is insane! Xander?s a nineteen year old guy, not a piece of porcelain. I?m not gonna break him.

That?s it. I?m gonna stop being so scared about doing something he might be uncomfortable with. ?So, this is okay?? Just as soon as he answers that question.

?What, you mean the kissing?? He grins. ?Graham, that?s more then okay.?

Not good enough. I need to make sure. . . okay, I will allow a bit of internal gloating. . . and I?m done. ?Not just the kissing, but. . . the kissing on the couch, and the reclining on the couch, and the me being on top of you. . . on the couch.?

?Oh.? Xan?s eyes glance down at his hands for a second, then they?re back up and locked on mine again. ?Like I said, that?s more then okay.? He sighs. ?But, I guess now would be as good a time as ever to get the whole boundaries thing out of the way, huh??

Boundaries? This could be. . . boundaries? ?Um, okay??

?I *really* liked what we were doing. Not just the kissing, but being close to you, feeling you against me,? Oh, isn?t that. . . Did I just whimper? ?But. . .? My hormones officially hate that word. ?I?ve rushed into almost every relationship I?ve had, and I don?t want to do that with us.?

He said us. There?s an us. Oh. Oh. Warm Fuzzies.

?I want this to last, Graham.? Xan?s hand comes up and I feel this feather soft touch running down the side of my face. ?Is that okay??

Is that okay? Is that okay?! Is he kidding? ?You wanting this to last? Yeah, I think I?m okay with that.?

?No. I mean. . . waiting, you know, for. . . sex?? His eyes lower.

?Oh that.? Man, he looks so adorable when he?s being bashful. I just. . . I want to lick him. Whoa, down boy. ?We can wait til you?re ready.? And if you?re ready at any time during the next hour or so, that?d be great. ?Just so we?re clear, what exactly are the boundaries??

?Uh, I?m not sure.? His tongue comes out to wet his lips and. . . Mmmm. No. Important conversation here. Focus. Focus! ?I?ve never been in a relationship like this before.?

?You mean, like with another guy??

?Yeah, or someone who hasn?t tried to kill me. . . or was plotting to kill me in the future.? The grin on his face dissolves into a troubled frown. ?You don?t fall into either of those categories, right??

?Of course not.? Okay, technically I had only *thought* about killing him, but there were massively huge extenuating circumstances, and he *really* doesn?t need to know anything about that.

?Nice change of pace.? He jokes, and snuggles close to me as I wrap my arms around him. Oh yeah, this is good too.

?How about, we just do what feels good, and you tell me if I push. Okay??

Xander nods. ?Okay.? He gives me a sly grin and leans in and the door comes crashing open.

That isn?t supposed to happen.

We both jump up, and this *really* isn't? supposed to happen. This was supposed to be an uninterrupted night. Oh, Riley Finn is. . . flung over Buffy?s shoulder.

Well, this is just about the most surreal thing I?ve ever seen.

?Ran into another Golem.? Buffy said unceremoniously dumping Riley on the couch. ?He got knocked on the head.?

This is so not fair. But, Ri?s hurt, and that takes precedent over lust. Man, sometimes I hate being all responsible adult like. ?Should we take him to the hospital??

?No. No hospitals.? Riley makes a feeble little motion with his hand. ?I?m okay.?

?He?ll be fine.? Xander pats my shoulder. ?Believe me, I?ve had more head injuries then I can count. . . which might be because I?ve had so many head injuries.? He frowns. ?Huh, hadn?t considered that angle before.?

Oh, that?s reassuring.

Ri looks so pitiful. ?I told Buffy I could make it to Giles? place.?

Buffy sighs. ?This was closer, and Graham and Xander weren?t really doing anything, just watching videos. . . on the couch. . . in a semi darkened room . . .? Buffy looks at us, *really* looks at us, and her eyes go all wide, and her jaw kinda drops, and I realize what Xander and I probably look like after our less then chaste behavior. ?Uh, oh, uh.? She glances at Riley who?s still wearing his apologetic face, then back up at me and Xander. ?Maybe we should go to. . .?

This really isn?t funny, so why do I have this overwhelming urge to laugh my ass off?

I wave off whatever else she?s going to say. ?Stay put. Keep him conscious. I?ll go get the first aid kit.?

I walk down the hallway, shaking my head the whole way. I?m right outside the bathroom door when strong arms wrap around my waist. ?We?re never going to have a completely normal date, are we?? I ask, twisting around to see Xander?s face.

?Probably not.? He smirks.? But we?ll have fun trying.?

Okay. That?ll work.

**********


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