The 7^th Year of Qian Long

[September 1742]

Yu Her regretted her decision. If she had told him, maybe he would have made immediate arrangements for her to accompany him to Beijing.

Then she became bitter. Wake up to reality, you silly girl! How could I have been so naive and stupid? He was just toying with me! I was just conveniently there when he needed a tryst. Damn him, he’s probably in bed with someone else now.

"Si Ye, where are you? Don’t you know what’s happening to me now?" She glanced at her swollen belly. "Don’t you know that I’m having a baby, our baby?" A tender look came to her eyes, as she remembered the times they had spent together, the laughter they had shared…

A sudden pain gripped her upper abdomen. An aching pain that radiated down her lower back followed it. Then Yu Her became aware of a sticky wetness between her legs. She looked down and saw that her trousers were damp. Her baby was coming…*Now*.

Madam Xia was quietly doing some embroidery in her room. Since her husband’s death, she had begun to sink deeper into the pools of depression. Daughter was unmarried and having a baby. Nobody in town was speaking to them, except to make derisive remarks…

Yu Her burst in, "Mama, the baby’s coming…"

Madam Xia was shocked and was not sure what to do next. She had been brought up the traditional way, to leave everything to the menfolk. However, these last few months had forced Madam Xia to stand on her own feet. She helped Yu Her back into her bedroom, made her as comfortable as she could, and then went to find her brother and sister-in-law. Madam Xia prayed that they would know a midwife.

By the time, Madam Xia, Uncle and Aunty Liu returned with the midwife, Yu Her was in agony. The contractions were becoming stronger, more frequent and more painful. She had heard horror stories of the pain of childbirth, but she never imagined that it could be this horrendous…Through the cloud of pain, Yu Her was vaguely aware of Aunty Liu chasing Uncle Liu out of the room, the midwife Mrs.Lee, calling for hot water and towels.

"Si Ye, Si Ye…" Yu Her began calling out as another contraction gripped her.

**********

"PUSH!" The midwife bawled.

Yu Her drew in a deep breath and gave her hardest push. Her agonized groan turned into a high pitched scream. She felt as if her insides were being ripped apart. Her knuckles went white as she clenched the bed sheets tightly. Damn you Si Ye! Damn you for bringing this on me…Yu Her cursed inwardly. Then suddenly, she felt something give way inside her and the excruciating pain suddenly lessened. She moaned in relief.

"Good girl, you’ve done well." Madam Xia wiped the sweat from Yu Her’s head. "The baby’s out safely."

The exhausted young mother lay back on bed. The worst was now over and she waited expectantly for that dear sweet, sweet sound.

A loud raucous cry rang throughout the room, bringing tears of joy to Yu Her’s eyes. Si Ye, are you hearing this? This is the most beautiful music in the world, better than any music by the best palace musician.

"My baby, I want my baby…" Yu Her tried to get up but Madam Xia firmly stopped her.

"You have a little girl." Mrs.Lee announced as she placed the wailing child gently on Yu Her’s chest.

"My baby, she’s so beautiful…" Yu Her whispered as she traced her daughter’s delicate features with her fingers. She counted ten perfectly formed little fingers and ten little toes. Even in the chubby babyish features, Yu Her sensed that the child had great potential. She promised herself that she would teach her everything. I’ll teach her calligraphy, painting, poetry, Wei Qi and the Qin. She will be talented, just like her father…

At the thought of Si Ye, Yu Her’s feelings were a mixture of anger and sadness. Where was he now when she needed him the most? When the baby needed him the most? Yu Her swore to herself never to let her daughter know the humiliating truth about her parentage. She did not want her to live under the shadow of illegitimacy.

"What are you going to call her?" Mrs.Lee asked no one in particular as she cleaned up the room. She always did that as a matter of habit.

Sadness pierced Yu Her’s heart. Dad had been suggesting some suitable names right up to his death. Now he was gone forever, never to see nor hold his first grandchild.

She glanced outside her room window and saw the crape myrtle trees planted outside her room. The beautiful flowers were in full bloom, their rich, lavender petals crowning the trees. Their vibrant colours left her momentarily dazzled.

Looking into the innocent face of her daughter, Yu Her said softly, " Zi Wei. Her name is Zi Wei."

(Or to be continued in HZGG I?)