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| Thunder Kiss '65 booms throughout the Alltel Arena. The Unleashed pyros shoot up the ramp and blast off on the stage. JR: Welcome everybody to XWE Unleashed coming to you live from the Alltell Arena here in Little Rock, Arkansas! King: Oh yeah and we've already got one announced match, coming up...right now! Boogeyman vs. Test - US Title "Test, Test, this is a Test." Test makes his way to the top of the ramp, looking pissed off and ready to go. Lilian: The following match is scheduled for one fall and it is for the United States Title! Introducing first, the challenger, weighing in at 286 pounds... TEST! Test walks down the ramp, fixing up his wrestling gear. He gets inside the ring and prepares for his match. "I'M THE BOOGEYMAN! AND I'M COMIN'...TO GETCHYA! HAHAHAHA!!!" The lights turn red and the ramp starts to cloud up with smoke. King: This guy gives me the creeps! J.R.: I agree, King! The Boogeyman is-- King: I'll bet he searches his closet for Monique Orton every night! J.R.: Be nice, King. Lilian: Making his way to the ring, he is the current United States Champion, from the Bottomless Pit... THE BOOGEYMAN! The Boogeyman finally comes out of the smoke, shaking and carrying his stick. He slithers down to the ring, stuffing worms into his mouth. Test grimaces in disgust as Boogeyman enters the ring. The bell rings after Test takes Boogeyman down with a Big Boot. He quickly covers him for the pin. 1... Kick out! King: Did he really think he could beat Boogeyman that quickly? J.R.: It's gonna take a lot more than a boot to take the United States Champion out! Test's right fist pummels into Boogeyman's face several times. King: You know, I don't think the Bottomless Pit is anywhere in the United States. Why's he champion? J.R.: Well... you got me there, King. Test picks Boogeyman up, and just as quick as Boogeyman was up, he's down again after Test delivers a DDT. J.R.: A devastating DDT to the Boogeyman! Test sure is fired up tonight! Test covers Boogeyman again. 1... 2... Another kick out! Test slams his fist onto the mat and gets up. He runs to the ropes, using them to gain momentum, and delivers a legdrop onto Boogeyman's throat. J.R.: BAH GAWD! Test delivers a series of elbows into Boogeyman's face. Boogeyman pushes Test away and rolls over onto his side. Boogeyman gets to his feet just as Test does and goes for a suplex. Test reverses the move into a variation of a reverse DDT that sends Boogeyman facefirst onto the canvas and Test onto his back. Test slowly gets up and grabs onto Boogeyman's arm, rolling him up into a lateral press pin. 1... 2... 3! Lilian: Here is your winner, and the new United States Champion... TEST! J.R.: BAH GAWD, Test made quick work out of the Boogeyman tonight! King: Yeah! That was short yet sweet, and he gets the United States title! The referee hands the United States belt to Test, who raises it over his head in triumph. He looks down at Boogeyman and grins. King: Oh, I don't think he's done with Boogeyman! Test picks Boogeyman up once again and delivers a pump handle slam. J.R.: OH MAH GAWD! The bell rings several times. Test delivers a second. J.R.: BAH GAWD, WHAT IS TEST TRYING TO PROVE? HE'S ALREADY GOT THE TITLE BELT! Test laughs as he executes a third and final pump handle slam before grabbing his new belt and heading backstage as the referee checks on Boogeyman. "Bridget, hey wait up." Turning around, Bridget finds Chris Sabin standing there. She arches one of her eyebrows and studies him. "Yeah?" "I uh...uhm, I saw what happened last week." "And?" She cuts him off before has the chance to answer. "Look, forget it. You're from TNA, I'm from XWE, we hate you, all of you. Just stop, alright?" She walks off, leaving Sabin standing there as the cameras pan over to another part of the backstage area. As Kane is walking backstage towards the entrance, a small hand grabs his arm from behind. He turns around and sees Annie standing there. "C'mere," she says in a hushed tone. He walks over to a secluded area with her. She begins talking, but the camera can't pick up what she's saying. Kane stands there, nodding with his arms crossed. She smirks a few times and speaks a little louder. "So what do you think?" Kane narrows his eyes and uncrosses his arms. "You got it. I'll see you at Highway to Hell." And with that, he turns and walks towards the ring entrance. Annie steps forward into the light, grinning. In catering, Taylor Moore sits eating a sammich. She goes to take another bite, but a voice from behind interrupts her. "Mind if I join you?" Shannon Moore pulls a chair up to the table she's sitting at. "Taylor, right?" She nods. "What can I help you with?" "Oh it's nothing like that, I was just wondering if you'd like to get something better to eat than that sandwich." She puts the food back on the plate and arches her eyebrows. "What are you suggesting?" "That we go out and get something to eat," he replies thoughtlessly. "Oh, well, alright then." She shrugs and stands up, joining him and they head off to the parking lot. Jayson and Torrie Anderson vs Kane and Jewel King: And yet another weird couple... JR: Oh stop it! In any event folks, it's time for what I think is the main event for tonight. "Oh I think they like me! Oh I think they like me!" Jayson and Torrie come out to the ramp, looking around at all the fans. Jayson holds up his belt getting a large pop. Lilian: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first the team of Jayson Anderson and Torrie Wilson! Torrie and Jayson walk to the ring, arm in arm. He holds the ropes open for her and she glides in, holding up the number one finger. King: Aww, aren't they cute? Flames shoot up from on the ramp and ringposts. Kane makes his way down the ramp and adjusts his elbow pad. He grabs onto the top rope from outside of the ring and hoists himself up. Lilian: And their opponents, first, weighing in at 325 pounds....KANE! Dirrty...Filthy...Nasty! The purple strobelights hit and out comes Jewel. Lilian: And his partner, from Long Island New York, she is the XWE Women's Champion....JEWEL! Jewel gets into the ring to join Kane. They decide on who's going to start the match and the referee calls for the bell. Jayson and Kane go to lock up but get cut off. "I'm BACK! And better than ever!" Eric Bischoff walks out on the ramp, a smirk on his face and a microphone in hand. "Hold on there just a second!" JR: Oh Lord, here we go. He begins to walk down the ramp, still smirking. "Now, I know Austin made this match and I know all you hillbilly, inbred hicks want to see it," the crowd boos, "but you aren't going to!" The boos grow louder as Bischoff walks back up the ramp. "In case you're forgetting, I am the Co-General Manager here on Unleashed meaning I am also able to make decisions." He situates the collar of his shirt and looks straight at the four people in the ring with him. "I'm a reasonable person, really, I am. Which is why I am doing this. You see, I'm not going to let some redneck Texan ruin my show's main event! Oh no, I don't think so." He stands on the stage, scanning the crowd. "This match has been cancelled!" The audience starts booing and jeering as Unleashed heads to a commercial. Torrie stands by Jayson who gives Kane the F5. Jewel runs around and grabs Torrie by the hair but drops it and starts screaming as the ropes around the ring burst into flames. JR: OH MAH GAWD! Torrie falls backwards, screaming. Kane sits straight up, laughing while Jayson backs away, grabbing Torrie by her arms. The flames disappear and Jayson hops out, holding his arms out for Torrie. She goes to leave, but Kane grabs her by the ankle. Jayson finds a fire extinguisher under the ring and whacks Kane in the head with it. He falls back, releasing his grip on Torrie who starts to scramble out of the ring again. This time, Jewel grabs her by the leg. Torrie kicks her off and gets back to her feet. She grabs Jewel by the hair and flings across to the other side of the ring that's on fire. Torrie quickly exits the ring as Jewel runs around, the tips of her hair flamed up. King: AH! THEY'VE BURNED JEWEL!! Jayson and Torrie head up the ramp, looking down at the ring. A crew member has rushed in and is using the fire extinguisher Jayson hit Kane with to put out Jewel's hair. Maybe an inch or so of the end is charred black or singed off. JR: Oh my... King: Why'd they have to do that?! At least it wasn't her face, right JR? JR: What's this jezebelle doing out here? The camera goes up to the ramp where Sarah Electra is running down, carrying a box of matches and a can of lighter fluid. King: Oh no...not this again! Inside the ring, Jewel is still flipping out about her hair and Kane has rolled out and left. Sarah grabs a chair and a towel from one of the crew members. Sliding in the ring, she wraps the chair up in the towel and drops it to the mat. JR: This does NOT look good! By now, Jewel's hysterical crying has turned into an irate rage. Sarah starts dousing the towel in the lighter fluid and Jewel turns around to find her lighting a match. Sarah drops the match and the chair ignites. Jewel clenches her jaw and charges at Sarah. Lifting her up, she slams Sarah down on the flaming chair with a spine buster. JR: OH MAH GAWD! OH MAH GAWD! OH MAH GAWD! The show quickly goes to a commercial as Jewel stands over Sarah, glaring. The ring is set up with a black canvas. Two podiums are situated inside the ring. Al Snow's entrance music hits to a roar of cheers. Al makes his way down the ramp, with Head raised up high. Al rolls into the ring and grabs a microphone off the mat. He smiles as he scans the crowd. Al raises the microphone to his lips. King: Here it comes. Al: Back by popular demand, I am once again allowed to conduct my segment near the audience! See, last time I was here, a kid got beat up for having a microphone. The crowd cheers, remembering the best security guard pile-up ever. Head: ... Al: It was pretty funny, but let's not go any further than that. As you can see, I've got two podiums set up out here. That's because tonight, I decided to interview a guy who loves the sound of his own voice. See, I was at a hotel last night, about to sleep, and I figured “Hey! Why not have a debate with the guy?” So, without any further ado, I give to you, M-- MISTERRRRRRR... KENNEDYYYYYY... KENNEDYYYYYY! Ken Kennedy's music plays as he makes his way out onto the stage wearing a fancy black suit and tie. He struts down the ramp in his usual cocky fashion, with a large smile on his face. Kennedy quickly enters the ring and is directed towards the podium on the right. Al takes his place on the podium to the left. Al: Mr. Kennedy, pleasure to be interviewing you tonight. Kennedy: Of course it is, Mr. Snow. Let's get down to business. King: This should be interesting! Al: Okay... toasters – obsolete or wave of the future? Kennedy shoots Al a confused look before grinning again. Kennedy: Mr. Snow, I believe toasters are like dull knives; they just don't cut it. Kennedy laughs at his obviously horrible joke, only stopping once he realizes that no one's laughing with him. Al: Interesting. Very interesting. Now, I think a toaster is the Elvis of kitchen appliances. King: What the heck is going on here? Al: Without toasters, we wouldn't be able to enjoy toasted sandwiches, and where would Quiznos be without the toaster? What would their slogan be – “Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm, nothing special”? Kennedy: I couldn't disagree with you more, Mr. Snow. Al: On what grounds, Mr. Kennedy? Kennedy: Only because I can, Mr. Snow. Now, if we could deviate from the topic of kitchen appliances, I'd like to converse with you about something equally, if not more, important. Head: ... Al: Go right ahead. Kennedy: I would like to proclaim to the entire world... this is very important stuff here... that a certain fiery ring announcer, in this context being one Lilian Garcia... SUCKS! Lilian, sitting at ringside, stands up and begins to yell angrily. Kennedy: Lilian, why don't you be a good little girl and let Mr. Kennedy... Kennedy finish speaking? Lilian's eyes widen, and she snatches her microphone from the floor. Lilian: Escuchame, pendejo! Si continúas con esa mierda, te lo juro que te voy a dar una bofetada tan dura que hasta le va a doler a la mísma madre suya! Lilian realizes her outburst and sits down, embarrassed. King: I like it when Lilian's angry! She speaks in Spanish when she's angry! J.R.: Judging from the sounds of it, I don't think XWE want to translate all of that. Kennedy: Yes, I enjoy quesadillas as well! Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Snow, I'm going to go backstage and do what I do best. Al: Be a nuisance to your co-workers? Kennedy: No, of course not. I'm going to spark up a few conversations with the lovely divas. Kennedy's music plays as he makes his way back up the ramp. Al is looking down at Head, laughing as Unleashed fades into commercials. The scene opens up at a Hibachi grill. Oriental music is playing in the background as the camera zooms into a short Asian woman screaming at a group of cooks. Woman: JAUNG! I TERR YOU, NO MOLE FRING FISH! The woman turns to the camera. Woman: Harro. My name... Ring Pao Chuun. I rooking fuh my son, Keng Pao Cheng. Keng Pao reave house earry in daytime, and me and my famiry nevuh see him again! We put Keng Pao pic-chuh arr ovuh mirk cahtons... and... SAUM TING WONG!!! TERR JAUNG NO MOLE FRING FISH!!! Arr ovuh mirk cahtons... wirr joo prease herp my famiry bling my Keng Pao home? Ling Pao holds up a milk carton with Keng Pao's face on it. Pic.The camera zooms in for a few seconds as Ling Pao continues to scream at Jaung and Saum Ting Wong about the fling fish. The commercial then fades out. "Jackie, would you chillax?!" Inside Christian's locker room, he and Jackie stand talking. "Sorry, sorry." The camera moves around and shows her with a brush and a can of hairspray aimed at Christian's hair. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something." "Mhm," he says, not really paying attention. "How would you like for myself to manage you?" Christian turns around from the mirror and faces her. "That doesn't sound bad, actually." "Really?" She asks, grinning. "Sure, works for me." He goes back to his mirror, picking at the invisible lint pieces on his wrestling tights. "Well it damn sure doesn't work for me!" Both Jackie and Christian turn to the door where Scott D'Amore stands with a demented smile on his face. "What in the hell are you doing here?!" Jackie shouts. "Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that, but Jackie, please don't try to change the subject." He steps further into the locker room, his smile growing. "I just happened to walk past and hear your conversation. I've spoken with TNA Managment and we are not at all happy with your most recent choices. It gives me great pleasure to say these words, so I won't waste anymore time. Jackie Gayda, you're fired." Grinning one last time, he stepped out of the locker room quickly. Lance Hoyt, AJ Styles and Bobby Lashley vs Justice, Edge and Christian TNA's theme music hits and out comes their team. The crowd gets out of their seats and starts booing like mad. Lilian: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, the team of Lance Hoyt, AJ Styles and Bobby Lashley...TEAM TNA! Rob Zombie's voice fills the arena once again and out comes XWE's team. Christian, Edge and Justice all walk down the ramp, their eyes set on the other three in the ring. Lilian: And their opponents, the team of Justice Smith, Christian and Edge! The three get into the ring and the referee calls for the bell. All 6 men run at each other and start battling. Edge is on AJ, Christian on Bobby and Justice on Lance. The referee tries to break things up, but nothing works. Glass shattering echoes throughout the arena and all the fighting immediately comes to a hault. The Texas Rattlesnake bursts out of the backstage area and comes down to the ring, walking with a purpose. He grabs a microphone and gets in the ring. "Knock it off, all of you! Now, listen here son," he grabs the referee by the shirt collar. "You are not doing a very good job of what you should be doing, so get your ass out of my ring!" The referee quickly scampers out of the ring and runs to the back. "Now that that's taken care of..." Austin turns to face the six superstars. "We can't have a match without a referee, can we?" He gives a slight smile and turns to the ramp. The TNA theme hits again. TaTyana and Teairra Mari come out with black shorts on and a referee's shirt to complete it. They make their way to the ring as the Unleashed theme starts. Elisabeth and Gail Kim walk out wearing the same thing. Austin leaves the ring as the four divas enter. At the top of the ramp he shouts, "Alright, now we're ready for a good ol' ASS WHOOPIN'! RING THE DAMN BELL!" The bell rings and all chaos breaks out. The six guys start hammering each other while the girls rip into the other. Gail pounces on Teairra and TaTyana has her hands full with Elisabeth. TaTyana smashes Elisabeth into one of the turnbuckles and lays in some chops. JR: BAH GAWD! ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE! King: CALL THE COPS!! Lance has reopened Justice's stitched up laceration. Justice still fights back as the blood pours down his face. Bobby has Christian backed into a corner where he cowers, covering his hair. Bobby backs up and cocks his head to one side. Christian screams, "DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR, DAMN IT!" Bobby shrugs and starts hammering into Christian. AJ has Edge down on the canvas and is slamming rights and lefts into his head. Team TNA dominates inside the ring, all of them slamming, punching, attacking and pummeling the Unleashed superstars. JR: BAH GAWD! IS THIS A SIGN OF THINGS TO COME? King: AAHHH!!! JR: WE'LL SEE YOU ALL IN HELL, FOLKS! OH MAH GAWD!! THE CARNAGE! The crowd's reaction grows even louder as half of the TNA locker room comes running down to the ring, shortly followed by the Unleashed superstars. A full out brawl goes out. Taylor and Bridget seem to be working together on Traci Brooks. Monty Brown has RVD caught in the ropes. Jeff Jarrett and Shawn Michaels are battling it out as well. Most of the people are blurs with a few fists and boots visible. JR: BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD! Unleashed goes off air as the beatings continues with no exact brand getting the upper hand. Bodies go flying out of the ring and bounce off the ropes and the XWE logo flashes across the screen. |
