Falling
in Love
It
is a mystery why we fall in love.
It
is a mystery how it happens.
It
is a mystery when it comes.
It
is a mystery why some love grows and
it
is a mystery why some love fails.
You
can analyze this mystery and look for reasons and causes
but
you will never do anymore than take the life out of the experience.
Just
as life itself is more than the sum of the bones and muscles
and
electrical impulses in the body. Love is more than the sum of the
interests
and attractions and commonalties that two people share.
And
just as taken as an unfathomable gift that cannot be
questioned
in its ways.
Sometimes,
hopefully at least once in your life,
the
gift of love will come to you in full flower,
and
you will take hold of it and
celebrate
it in all inexpressible beauty.
This
is the dream we all share.
More
often, it will come and take hold of you,
celebrate
you for a brief moment, then move on.
When
this happens to young people,
they
too often grasp the love and hold it to them,
refusing
to see that it is a gift that is freely given and
a
gift that just as freely moves away.
When
they fall out of love,
or
the person they love feels the spirit of love leaving,
they
try desperately to reclaim the love that is lost
rather
than accepting the gift for what it was, then moving on.
They
want answers where there are no answers.
They
want to know what is wrong with them
that
makes the other person no longer love them,
or
they try to get their lover to change,
thinking
that if some small things were different, love would bloom again.
They
blame their circumstances and say that if
they
go far away and start a new life together, their love would grow.
They
try anything to give meaning to what has happened.
But
there is no meaning beyond the love itself,
and
until they accept its own mysterious ways,
they
live in a sea of misery.
You
need to know this about love, and to accept it.
You
need to treat what it brings you with kindness.
If
you find yourself in love with someone
who
does not love you, be gentle with yourself.
There
is nothing wrong with you.
Love
just didn't choose to rest in the
other
person's heart.
If
you find someone in love with you and you don't love him,
feel
honored that love came and called at your foot,
but
gently refused the gift you cannot return.
Do
not take advantage,
do
not cause pain.
How
you deal with love is how you deal with you,
and
all our hearts feel the same pains and joys,
even
if our lives and ways are different.
If
you fall in love with another,
and
he falls in love with you,
and
then love chooses to leave,
do
not try to reclaim it or assess blame.
Let
it go.
There
is a reason and there is a meaning.
You
will know in time,
remember
that you don't choose love.
Love
chooses you.
All
you can do is accept it for all
its
mystery when it comes into your life.
Feel
the way it fills you to overflowing
then
reach out and give it away.
Give
it back to the person
who
brought it alive in you.
Give
it to others who deem it poor in spirit.
This
is where many lovers go wrong.
Having
been so long without love,
they
misunderstand love only as a need.
They
see their hearts as empty places that will be filled by love,
and
they began to look at love as something that flows
to
them rather than from them.
The
first blush of new love is filled to overflowing,
but
as their love cools,
they
revert to seeing their love as a need.
They
cease to be someone who generates love
and
instead becomes someone who seeks love.
They
forget that the secret of love is that it is a gift,
and
that it can be made to grow only by giving it away.
Remember
this, and keep it in your heart.
Love
has its own time,
its
own seasons,
and
its own reason for coming and going.
You
cannot bribe it or coerce it,
or
reason it into staying.
You
can embrace it when it arrives and
gives
it away when it comes to you.
But
if it chooses to leave from you heart
of
from the heart of your lover,
there
is nothing you can do and there is nothing you should do.
Love
always has been and always will be a mystery.
Be
glad that it came to live for a moment in your life.
IF
YOU KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN IT WILL COME AGAIN.