| June 21, 2002 I think it is the time for me to write my diary. I haven't written it for three months. There were so many thing happened. Some is sad and some is happy. I sister moved back to the house since Shaina is one month old because the stupid jerk cheated on my sister. I hate man like that. Actually, he's not a man if he did this. Now Shaina is almost six months old. She is very cute and good baby. I miss her so much. I watched her grew up every day. But my sister had arguments with mom so often and my sister couldn't stand my mom any more so she moved out. She tool Shaina with her. I worry about if they are ok because my sister doesn't have a job and Shaina is so little. I wish they could come back somehow even though my sister will lose her freedom. I know my mom is a very difficult person to get along with, but my sister needs protection. I don't know. What I can do now is pray for my sister and Shaina have a better life. Seriously, I do love them even I didn't say it. I miss them both. I found someone loves me. I am so happy and scared. He is so far away from me; I wish I could see him right now. Someone is a very nice person and he treatsme like I am a very special person to him. I think I love him too. But who knows what happened next? I am very crazy sometimes and I think I might scare him. Like now, it is 4:19am, I just finished watching a movie. I really want to call him and leave him a voice message (I thought he turned off his cell phone), but ended up he picked up the phone and I annoyed him. I didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to call him. Hope he won't be mad at me or something. What can I do with him right now? Just miss him every single day. What else can I do? Love is a very hard subject for me. I think I become more annoying. And he doesn't like that. He told me I think too much non-sense. Maybe I do. What I can say is that is how I am and I am just very stupid when I love someone. Just received my report card yesterday. I got all A's eccept one B+ in my English class. It is ok though. I tried hard enough already. I am having classes (math and government) in Macomb Community College now. It is hard but I will do my best. I need new clothes and shoes. All the clothes I have are getting old. I would like to have some more new ones but I don't think I can. I need to have a job and make money for myself. Too many stuffs in my mind and I cried today. I couldn't go to fall asleep. |
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| July 8, 2002 I shouldn't write this but I can't lie on myself. I broke up with Tommy a few days ago. I don't know how my feeling is right now. He got his new girlfriend the day after we broke up. I feel bad because it hurts me somehow. I don't know what... I told my step dad about it, he said that's because I am not mature enough. Yea, I should be mature enough. I am not a little girl. I am almost eighteen year old. I should believe that love can't be long and all the promises people made when they are in love are not real. I don't know. I do trust in love but love makes people feel bad. Well, I am ok because I have already known how guys are and I learn this time. Hope I will be happier next time. Maybe I am a troublemaker. I always make troubles to people. That is way my life so sucks and I am always not happy about it. Well, I need to change. Ying Ying, you shouldn't be unhappy because you dumped him and it's all over. I always love you. Only me, always truly love you!! A brand new life begins tomorrow!!! Go, Ying Ying! |
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