Lan Yu

When I went to practice Ballet Folklorico, Venadi and Nathareth, two sisters, handed me an invitation for Nathreth quinceanera party. The ceremony would first be held in a church and the evening party would be held in a rented hall, where there would be BBQ, buffet and dance.

I know the place. Once when I was passing that hall, I noticed the noise and thought it was a commercial ball dance. Upon asking, I was told it was a girl's coming of age party, but they warmly invited me in. I went in and danced disco for more than an hour. After I went back home, I felt strange about myself: how could I have invaded a party of strangers?

I told them about it when Venadi and her sister gave me the invitation. All who heard me laughed loudly. They must have thought that this chino guy really was reckless.

All Mexican girls have a coming of age ceremony at the age of 15. Many Hispanic families often spend thousands of dollars for this, even more than the spending for a wedding. It so happened that this weekend there was an article in Wall Street Journal about this subject. The article mentioned a Hispanic couple who were both in the service profession spend 30,000 dollars in Las Vegas to give their daughter a princessly experience. They also told the next girl that they could book Disneyland for her at her 15th birthday. In the U.S., many big companies have began to think of making money from this Mexican tradition of young daughter's 15th birthday celebration.

Of course, for some families, such lavish spending is not wise, but it after all shows that the age of 15 is being taken seriously.

When I arrived home, I opened the invitation. An pretty card jumped into view. The color and the design both bespoke feminine fragrance. On the card is printed a young girl in white gown. The words of the invitation are printed in delicate handwritten style on a semi-transparent paper. The invitation first thanks the Lord for his grace to enable the girl to have grown to this age and then expresses gratitude towards the parents for raising the child. I was touched by the family feelings in these words.

Although the Mexican coming of age ceremony is only for girls, after reading the invitation I thought about what I was doing in my 15th year. I just started middle school in the 3rd year of the Cultural Revolution in China. Although in the ancient times, China had a ¡°hair-do ceremony¡± for girls, I never heard about any of my female classmates celebrating her entering womanhood. Now, if one searches for "hair-do ritual" or "coming of age ceremony" in Chinese on the internet, all the information was about past customs. Only a certain school in Taiwan tutors girls about this ceremony. If Confucius were alive, he would lament the loss of the ritual from China.

I happened to have checked out an American movie this weekend, which tells about a girl having her first period when she was 14 and was spending a summer with her family at a camp. Her family loudly announced to the neighbors that she was a woman now. This is also a ceremony of coming of age. The girl then had her first date and first kiss. Entering adulthood means freedom and the related responsibility.

But when my generation was 15, no one told us that we were adults capable of assuming responsibilities. We were still under the close watch of teachers at school. Well it was nothing biggie of course, because going to school means to be taught by the teacher. Yet at that time, we were encouraged to report our thoughts to the teachers and show our journals to them. This might have closed the distance between the teachers and the students, but it might have also suppressed the growth of the sense of independence.

As for things that were related to the development of sex roles, they were all suppressed. It was a no no subject between the teacher and the student and the hygiene class did its best to avoid it or to give it a brief touch. Even at home, many kids probably learned how to deal with their bodily needs by fumbling in the dark. To the public, girls did their best to conceal their sexual characteristics. In my school there was a tall fully developed girl whose boobs invited some gossiping which were not necessarily malicious.

Those years were not like the ancient times when the family expected marriage proposals for their daughters 15 years old and above. Young people, in addition to going to school, were involved in political campaigns. Any private feelings were contrary to that political movement. When they were lucky enough to enter college, what they heard was the preaching about the glory of late marriage and late conception. Girls of that time did not readily show their feminine charm. I remember that when my class was working in the countryside, a girl in the class one day was wearing a red sweatshirt, which showed the contour of her chest . When male students came over, she held up a basin in front of her without giving much thought to what she was doing.

What an unromantic season for the age of 15!

Actually, not only the females of my generation did not have this coming of age ritual, the girls in China today also do not have it. I confirmed this from a girl born in 1974. Nor can I find any information about Chinese people celebrating their daughters¡¯ coming of age. In Japan, there is a Girls Day, but in China, only the March 8th is set aside for women. There are no other special festivals for girls. Moreover, the name of March 8th Women¡¯s Day sounds misleading to some people (Note: In Taiwan, calling a woman ¡°Three Eight¡± is an insult.)

It is said that the coming of age ceremony in Mexico is an old tradition that can be traced back to South American natives, including the Mayans and Aztecs. Many scholars have speculated that the origin of the native culture of South America is Chinese culture. It seems that what Confucius said has some reason: when the rites get lost from central China, search them in remote countries.

So the end of this month, I am going to observe this custom that originally could be found in ancient China.

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