Vegita VS. Judge Judy

Bailiff: All rise for the honorable Judge Judy!

(all stand up except Vegita. Goku nudges him)

Goku: Vegita! You're supposed to stand up for her majesty!

Vegita: BAH!! I won't stand for a lowly human female!

Judge Judy: I heard that Mr. Vegita. You're not starting off well with me. *glare*

Vegita: Ooooh I'm so scared! Not.

Bailiff: This is the case of Vegita Vegita vs. Son Goku with the charges the defendant beat the prosecutor senseless on several occasions and now wants compensation.

Judge Judy: *looks over case file* Uh....Mr. Vegita could you please clear up just exactly WHAT kind of compensation you are suing for?

Vegita: I want to be able to beat him senseless at least 3 times a day for at least the next 100 years.

Judge Judy: That seems rather a long time Mr. Vegita.

Vegita: Baka ningen! Saiyajins live for about 700 Earth years.

Judge Judy: You are trying my patience Mr. Vegita..

Vegita: Bite me.

*bailiff steps forward with first piece of evidence*

Judge Judy: Oh Randy you're here! Good. (whispers to him) you forgot your boxers at my place last night. *wink*

Bailiff: Eh....

Judge Judy: Okay Mr. Son. How do you plead to the charges?

Goku: Uh.....guilty?

(from the audience) Chichi: NOT GUILTY YOU IMBICILE!!!

Goku: Uh, I mean not guilty!

Judge Judy: Very well then. You may proceed.

Goku: Vegita claims that I beat him on several occasions with out cause but this is simply not true. On each separate occasion he has been trying to harm the Earth in some way. First he came here trying to kill off all of Earth's inhabitants to so he could sell the planet. I present to you my first piece of evidence. *pops in the video. For the next few minutes they see scenes of Vegita blowing stuff up, and beating Goku)

Vegita: OBJECTION!! When I first got here I never lifted a finger to harm anyone! It was all Nappa!

Judge Judy: Well then where is this Mr. Nappa now?

Vegita: I..uh....killed him .........to stop his rampage of terror! Yeh! That’s it!

Judge Judy: objection sustained. Please continue Mr. Son.

(several more minutes of Vegita beating up on Goku, Vegita transforming and squishing Goku, and then stepping on his legs and breaking them. The crowd gasps in horror and Chichi is pissed.)

Chichi: Grrrrrrrrr......

(finally the tape reaches the scene where Vegita is crawling to his space pod and the tape ends)

Judge Judy: well I think it is obvious who the victim is--

Vegita: OBJECTION!!!!!

Judge Judy: What now Mr. Vegita?

Vegita: Goku was using the FUNimation edited tape!! You didn't get to see how beat up I was in the end!!!

Judge Judy: Is that true Mr. Son?

Goku: *laughs nervously* Well yeah....

Vegita: I have an unedited tape!! (Runs up and pops it in before anyone can object. The scene shows the bloody beaten Vegita desperately crawling to his space pod. The crowd gasps in horror)

Judge Judy: Well in light of this new evidence I have no choice but to--

Chichi: WAIT!!! (leaps over the rail and punches out the two guards that try to stop her) Lets re-wind the tape and show what Goku really looked like too!(hits the re-wind button)

Vegita: NO!!!!

Chichi: (presses play and looks smug)

Vegita:BAKA!!!

(the crowd hears some moaning from the tape, but not the moans of one in pain. Ones of passion)

Bulma: VEGITA YOU SWORE TO ME THAT YOU HAD DESTROYED THAT TAPE WE MADE OF US HAVING SEX!!!!

Vegita: Uh...I lied?

Chichi: You hentai! (pulls out a frying pan from nowhere and starts to beat him senseless)

Vegita: GET OFF OF ME WOMAN!!!

(Final Flashes the whole court room)

Goku: (pulls himself from the rubble) Dammit Vegita! That’s the second trail you have blown up!! Last week it was People's Court and this time Judge Judy!? We're running out of cheap daytime TV court shows to go to!!

Vegita: Bite me Kakarotto.

(walks over to Judge Judy's charred corpse and kicks it)

The end!

^_~